Thank giving.

[Pythos]

I went for our anual family get together for thanks giving. I was obliged to wear pants, which in my case were jeans. It was a nice get together. But one thing that bugged me was all 7 women there...were wearing pants. Thank the lord they were not the ubiquitious relax fit blue jeans. But they were pants, which annoyed me considering I wanted to wear one of my skirted or leggings outfit, but instead I had to wear jeans. My jeans were black though.

What was it like for others here for thanksgiving when it came to attire?

[Milfmog]

Pythos,

Maybe I'm prying, if so feel free to ignore the question, but what exactly do you mean by "I was obliged to wear pants"?

Obliged by whom?
How? (Were you given explicit instructions?)
Why?
What would have happened if you had decided to be yourself and make you own decision?

Sorry, reading that it sounds like I'm being snotty but that's not my intention. I have sometimes felt I had no choice about something, but when I've sat down and asked myself questions like these I've come up with a different answer and done my own thing with no unpleasant consequences. (That's not to say that there have not been occasions on which I have complied but I have stopped just "trying to keep the peace" if doing so prevents me being who I am, unless there is a good reason to do so.)

Have fun,


Ian.

[sapphire]

Next time, why not wear what you want to? The women were wearing what they wanted to, why not you?

Carl and I hung out all day relaxing in nightgowns. I watched episode after episode of the TV sreies "House" while tending to the baby kittens. Carl did various techie things. We finished off the day with a roast sirloin feast, with mushroom gravy, kicked up sweet potato oven fries and a twist on the traditional green bean casserole. Instead of green beans, I used asparagus.

[ChrisM]

We had the big fammily blow out style thanksgiving - 20 people in a tiny apartment.

I wore my red plaid kilt-skirt, maroon shirt, tweed coat and Derby hat.

I had painted my toenails to match my outfit. I had painted highlights on my fingernails also to match. I got no comments. Angie borrowed my nail polish to paint her toes, because she had been disappointed in leaving this detail incomplete in her own ensemble.

At one point Uncle Frank (an interesting old character anyway) burst out with "Do you have to shave your legs?" I was shaken (the question was a total non-sequitur (sp?) to the conversation then ongoing) and made some waffling answer to the effect "how do you know they are shaved?" So Cathy reached over and stroked my calf to report "Oh yeah, definitely shaved!" Then we retired to the card table and played Boggle...

Point being: A perfectly normal dinner. They felt free to make comments - even wisecracks - but no judgment or criticism. More a feeling of "Oh that's just Chris. Let him do what he wants."

Hope you all get to do what you want.

All the best,

Chris

[crfriend]

We had the big fammily blow out style thanksgiving - 20 people in a tiny apartment.

Thank heavens it wasn't on your boat! They'd have been spilling over the sides.

A perfectly normal dinner. They felt free to make comments - even wisecracks - but no judgment or criticism. More a feeling of "Oh that's just Chris. Let him do what he wants."

That sounds like it was a good time! Well done.

Sapphire and I just hung out yesterday, and followed that up with a really delicious feast in the early evening. I don;t get on much with the remains of my family, and the remains of Sapphire's are two-thirds of a continent away, so we just hunker down and share time with each other. It works.

I don't even want to contemplate what the reactions of my elder family would be if they knew of my modern sartorial choices; I'd likely be in for some serious verbal abuse, much like what I received for decades about my hair.

[Big and Bashful]

Next time, why not wear what you want to? The women were wearing what they wanted to, why not you?

Carl and I hung out all day relaxing in nightgowns. I watched episode after episode of the TV sreies "House" while tending to the baby kittens. Carl did various techie things. We finished off the day with a roast sirloin feast, with mushroom gravy, kicked up sweet potato oven fries and a twist on the traditional green bean casserole. Instead of green beans, I used asparagus.

That sounds heavenly!

[Pythos]

First off, I love house.

Second in line. By obligated I mean...more than a few times I wore leggings with sweaters in outfits that got compliments from my sister in law, aunt, and my current girlfriend. However one time my mother just straight out told me, "Do not show up for family events in those God damned fairy pants" or something to that effect. Considering this was the first thanks giving without my dad, and my mom has never seen me in a skirt, I felt I was obligated to wear what is socially acceptable to her.

Also, the fact my family down south are not the most open minded people when it comes to most social matters (very religious) I just did not think it would be wise for me to wear something "odd".

It sucks, but there it is.

I have told you all here the first time my mom found my leggings she got all flustered and called me gay, despite the fact I was involved in a very hectic relationship with a girl at the time. My style is one thing that really irks he. She doesn't seem to recognize that I am a fairly successful person who has not done heavy drugs (yes I have done pot), nor gotten into a gang, or screwed girl I see, or any of that crap. No. She just hates the way I choose to attire myself, and my brother does not help matters by saying stuff like "If you respect mom then you shouldn't wear weird stuff like that around her." He is also very status quo.

If I didn't care for them, I would do what I wanted, but I do. So I refrain from my styles around mom.

This is much different than a spouse who is supposed to love you through thick and thin. This is my mom, who has had a hell of a year with the passing of my dad.

My mom is a very status quo "that's just the way it is" type of person, as is my brother. My sister in law was a free spirit, but since she and my brother had a daughter I have noticed that she has toned down, and seems to be working more than enjoying life.

Feel free to ask other questions, if this did not explain my position with being obligated.

[crfriend]

By obligated I mean...more than a few times I wore leggings with sweaters in outfits that got compliments from my sister in law, aunt, and my current girlfriend. However one time my mother just straight out told me, "Do not show up for family events in those God damned fairy pants" or something to that effect. Considering this was the first thanks giving without my dad, and my mom has never seen me in a skirt, I felt I was obligated to wear what is socially acceptable to her.

Thanks for the context, Pythos, and from that I'll state that you made a wise and compassionate decision regarding your actions and attire. Yes, it sounds like the situation stinks, but you obviously care deeply for the opinions of your mom, and that's to be applauded. There are times to "not rock the boat", just as there are time to do so; wisdom is knowing the difference.

Your family is wrong, of course, in linking clothing choices to sexual orientation, but I'm "preaching to the choir" here on that count. However, many people cling to that notion because they understand no other way to express what's in their mind; it's understandable, forgiveable, and, ultimately, rectifiable in most cases, but correcting the faulty notion can be time-consuming and involve lots of angst and frustration on all sides. Sometimes it's just easier to "go along" when one is with folks like that; the alternative might be to completely alienate them from you.

[Milfmog]

Pythos,

Thank you for your answer. In my view that was not obligated, it was simply being considerate around people who matter to you. As Carl says, they are wrong; but they are important to you and so you made a judgement call. Please accept an electronic pat on the back for making the right decision, especially as you had to do so reluctantly.

Hopefully one day your family will learn to separate how they feel about your choice of clothes from how they feel about you, then everyone can be happier.

Have fun,


Ian.

[Since1982]

3 Electronic pats for Pythos...pat pat pat!

[sapphire]

I agree with Carl and Ian. Pythos what you did was considerate and caring. Sorry about the loss of your Dad. That is hard to go through and even more hard when you have to take into account the feelings of other members of the family.

Now, totally off topic.... I probably love the show "House" for all the same reasons that you do, but for me there are some extra goodies. When I was in high school, I lived about 12 miles from Princeton University, as a young adult I actually lived in the town of Princeton and later on, my Dad lived in Princeton (he had moved there from Plainsboro)

I love and recognize the opening shots in the show. The waterway is Carnegie Lake. The shot they use for Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital is really the student center for Princeton University.

Princeton does have a world class hospital, most of my family has been treated there for one thing or another. However, neither the hospital, nor any of the buildings in the Princeton Medical Center are shown in the TV series.