A negative experience

[Sylvain]

1 Just like "Homo". Where did that word start to be a swear word? If it has a relationship to behaviour, then I could shout "people"

Are you mistaking the Latin word homo (human being) with the Greek word homeos (same), as in homosexual?

[Peter v]

Sapphire, and since 1982, both right. In a ideal world, I would also do as since 1982 suggested, not thinking the worst first. But in the circumstances, and I have the impression that the person involved didn't exactly look as if he would appreciate a man to man talk... keeping distance in such a situation was the wise thing to do. If the person involved was genuinely interested, it is his loss that he did not respectfully ask about it.

And Sapphire, quite right, the apprehention that someone is behaving as a stalker, could be quite unnerving. And I am sure the person was very aware of his actions and that they would have brought negative reactions. Thus all the more reason to be watchful and have doubts about what the individual has in mind. Just try it yourself. Just follow any individual, at a distance, with NO intentions at all, other than to follow at the same distance, for only a while. I know what the reaction would or could be. And just hope that the person being followed has not had any real bad experiences in the past, as you may even be very friendly asked to f. off, even at gun point!

The very fact that there are so many nutters out there, makes you watchful.

[Peter v]

1 Just like "Homo". Where did that word start to be a swear word? If it has a relationship to behaviour, then I could shout "people"

Are you mistaking the Latin word homo (human being) with the Greek word homeos (same), as in homosexual?

????? I only know that here in the Netherlands, "homo" means homosexual, and when it is shouted at people it means all manner of negative things, all sommed up in the swear word "Homo". They could also shout Bloody idiot or any such thing, but as it is generally shouted at men who are dressed even slightly different to the shouters, THOSE IDIOTS who have no brains, get a compulsion to shout that word. Actually only saying "See me how stupid I am"
Unfortunately if any people dare to react, they don't react to any looks at them with that reaction, of how stupid the shouters themselves are, in mind.
They certainly are not saying Hello, nice man, it is nice to see diversity. etc etc.

[sapphire]

There are some people who become so fixated on another that they do not see that their behavior has turned from interest to stalking. Stalking here defined as the unwanted persistent attention of another.

I'll share one example. My mother stalked my father. My parents divorced when I was in my mid 20s and my mother remarried some years later to a great guy.

When my father was in his late 60s, he developed cancer and lived with it for about 7 years. When the cancer became very bad, and shortly before I moved him from New Jersey to Massachusetts to be with me, my mother and my brother decided that they were going to visit him. Mom and brother lived in Montana and were following an alternate lifestyle that Dad didn't want any part of. Also Dad had always been the big, strong, gentle giant genius. At the time he looked pretty much like a six and a half foot tall concentration camp victim. He just didn't want to meet with them and told them so.

However, they came anyway, calling in their location every day. Poor Dad was terrified. While this may not sound logical to you, remember that the man was dying of cancer and the cancer was eating his brain. He was terrified that Mom and brother would see him in his debilitated state and through their alternative lifestyle, try to cure him. He just didn't want to deal with their well intentioned, but unwanted approaches to medicine.

There was no malintent on Mom's and brother's part, but there was sheer terror on Dad's part. Dad believed that he was being stalked and in the legal definition, he was.

[Pythos]

You know, I should have "manned" up, and nicely spoken to the gentleman.

"Oh sir, I notice you are following myself and my friends, may I enquire why, seeing as none of us know you."

Then in a perfect world his response would be.

" Oh sorry, my manners. Anyhow, I could help noticing that instead of jeans like everyone else, you have chosen to wear shiny tight pants, what are those may I ask."

Then I would happily respond with
"Oh these, these really aren't pants, but instead they are unisex leggings, made of nylon lycra and fit skin tight, and feel heavenly to wear"

To which he would respond

" hmm, I like how those look, compared to these grubby jeans, those look really clean and sleek. Where did you get those?"

Then me
"Oh I got these from a thrift store actually on a lucky find, but you can find them at dance stores, or sporting good stores, or if you are really brave some fetish type stores, cause unfortunately spandex is related to fetish in our narrow minded society"


Unfortunately this is not a perfect world, talking to this guy would be a nice choice but a really risky one. There was clear evidence he was not firing on all cylinders, and had a few screws loose too. I wish I could have such a nice conversation as the above, but in our world, it is very rare indeed.

[Since1982]

I've been stalked a lot in my life, I've been beaten up several times by people who followed me and then attacked me. I'm 66 and I STILL don't always expect everyone that follows me to be a stalker or violent person. I must add that I've not been stalked or beaten up SINCE I started wearing skirts all the time.

I STILL expect everyone to be a basically good person until they show themselves to be otherwise. IF someone possibly accidently touches me after following me for a while, I'd ask if I could help them, maybe they were lost and needed help finding where they needed to go. I definitely would NOT respond to a touch with violence. I'm overweight, I've had cars pass with brave shouts of "Hey FATTY" or "LOOK at the TUBALARD". Unlike some here, I consider the source and don't respond in kind. I don't EXPECT people to be automatically bad because they might seem to be following you, or ARE following you. I HOPE to have enough humanity to ASK them if I can help them.

I'm sorry there are any here that are ready to do violence at the first chance, regardless of the reason for it, those folks, however rightous they feel, if they attempt to do violence on someone, may themselves be the one injured or jailed. I'm sorry they feel that way, I really am. I guess in most of your eyes, that makes me a sap or a sucker. Que Sera Sera!