New Kid In Town

[JeffB1959]

Greetings, everyone!
My name is Jeff, a 48 year old African-American from Pennsylvania, 11 years removed from two decades of honorable service in the Navy. After having been a lurker for the last few months, I finally got up the nerve to join your board. I arrived here by a rather roundabout method.

You see, I also used to be a crossdresser but gave up the practice almost ten years ago after an incident with a police officer. However, I won't say I've given up the practice cold turkey as I often wear high heels in public today, also, I still haven't gotten my fondness for wearing skirts out of my system. After reading all the many exploits of the people here, I've found myself wanting to take the bold step of publicly wearing a skirt while in my male guise, yet I can't muster up the nerve to take that bold, final step, much as I would love to do so.

And that's pretty damn ironic, since I used to completely dress up like a woman (I won't say I passed for female, but I never cared if I did) and go out and about with no qualms whatsover. Still, I've enjoyed reading the advice, tips and camraderie of the people here. All in all, I find this site to be remarkable. As for preferences, I like below the knee knit skirts which I wear around the house, however, I pair them with high heeled black boots as I can't bring myself to wear men's shoes. Odd as this sounds, but that wouldn't look right to me.

Well, that's about it for my introduction. Maybe I'll snap an indoor pic of myself for everyone here to see. And perhaps sometime down the road once I work out the logistics for such a venture, and muster up the courage, I would most definitely want to wear a skirt outside. That would definitely make for an interesting experience. Peace.

[Dennis A Lederl]

Jeff B:
Your concept of how you look in a skirt and heels while still in a male gender mode is based on all your years of cross dressing. Thst's also were your anxiety comes from.
I was for years what used to be called a tranvestite (before the generic TG nonsence started). In spite of being 6'4" tall and 250 lbs. I still thought I had to "pass" in order to wear a skirt (or any other garment that people think as "women's clothing) when out in public. I know I never could pass and NEVER, EVER actually looked like a women.
But our culture is so attuned to the association of any female clothing being worn only by "drag queens" that they can't even think in terms of men that would want to wear something like a skirt or heels just because the like it.
If it helps you any, I went to jury duty once in a skirt and stockings. My shoes were flat heeled sandals. No one objected. I called ahead of time and found out that anyone can wear whatever they want because of the add on to the equal rights amendmant included the rights of gays, lesbians and the transgendered and (unfortunatly to some extent) classes any clothing variations as being transgendered.
So in a way you are protected by law(of the U.S.A. of course) from being harassed. That wouldn't stop a law officer from trying to detain you but will make any charges get thrown out if you done nothing more then wear the clothes you want to wear.
In fact, if you are in male mode and do not use or go into a ladies bathroom you should have little or no trouble. The one thing that gets most TV/TS/TG people into trouble is when they break the law by going into a Ladies only facility, bathroom, changing rooms, locker rooms, etc. Because if you see a women in their it is equal to being a peeping Tom. You have violated the women's privacy. It's like peeking in their bedroom windows.
So going out in public skirted and heeled in male mode in far safer then going out in full drag.
You have just remember to be yourself and do whatever you would do while wearing pants. Just remember to be modest of course.
You might also want to look at kilt wearing. Sportkilts has a nice, lowcost line of kilts to buy and veturing out in a kilt could adjust people to seeing you in a skirted garment before you go out in the skirts you like the most. Besides a kilt could let you go around and enjoy things like Cletic Fests and other events of that nature.
Test it out if you want.
Start with a quick trip to a speed mart for something you can go in and out for. See how people react. For the most part other people don't care either way what you wear.
Good luck!
Dennis A. Lederle

[JeffB1959]

Dennis: Thanks for the response. It's certainly good to communicate with someone who's "been there, done that". And yes, I agree that my concept of my appearance was indeed based on all those years of crossdressing. Perhaps it's an ingrained behavior or mindset that says I can't look good in a skirt without heels. It probably doesn't help that I love how I look in that particular combination.

Maybe I need to re-educate myself, try to steer myself away from the heels if I were to venture out in a skirt. The idea of doing that is indeed intriguing, especially for a former crossdresser. A kilt? Heh! That's interesting too, even though I've never seen any brothers wearing them, other than Samuel L. Jackson in Formula 51. Still, I'm willing to keep an open mind and see what happens, see how the public reacts.

[SkirtedViking]

Women wear masculine shoes so why bother?If you want equality do it with heels.If you let go that it means that women are more equal in terms of fashion than us even in your perception.They wear everything masculine t-shirts,accessories etc. so we must fight for the same in order to be truly equal.As far as I can remember heels were first for men,not for women.

[WSmac]

Welcome to the Cafe JeffB!

One of the things I hope you'll notice here is now that you've done your intro, you don't have to qualify who or what you are ever again here (as long as you meet Bob's guidelines at the top of the page), in any future posts.

I mention this because I've felt that some folks are a bit uptight about what the rest of the members here may perceive them as if they don't state outright that they are or are not (a)(an)________!

You can relax now and hopefully find loads of interesting conversations to join in and start yourself.

There are many ways to start moving about in society while skirted and if you pick through the last few months of threads, you'll likely find one on that very topic.

Otherwise, ask and plenty of folks will be happy to relate their first times or tips.

For myself, I am starting a new semester at the local college and I'll be going skirted.
I feel that in a new place with new acquaintances the first impression will make the rest of the year go smoother... so I will let everyone know I enjoy wearing skirts be it a kilt, sarong or some other skirted garment.

You sound as though you have already made some strides in that direction and only you will know what your life used to be like. I would say step out with the same boldness but in a simple skirt that you can move comfortably in.

[JeffB1959]

WSmac: Many thanks for the kind words and the tips. I mean to read as much of the posts of other members and absorb as much advice as I can before I take "the big step". Meanwhile, it sounds like you've taken a much bigger step than I, attending college skirted. Whoa! That's certainly bold! I'd like to develop that level of boldness and confidence that I can go anywhere I want in a skirt, but I suspect that might be a slow process.

SkirtedViking: You were right about everything you said. It's a shame the perception that skirts and heels are thought to be something women and only women can wear. And while women can wear men's clothing without scorn, that doesn't apply to us when we cross over the line to wear clothing "associated" with women. Men should have the same sort of freedom to wear what we want without scorn as well. In that vein, I'm glad sites like this are here where like minded people can chat about our particular passion.

In closing, I'm glad to be here.

[Skirt Chaser]

And that's pretty damn ironic, since I used to completely dress up like a woman (I won't say I passed for female, but I never cared if I did) and go out and about with no qualms whatsover.

That is an interesting observation. People probably do have a better idea what they are seeing when a man is dressed as a woman meanwhile mixed clothing on a man leaves them wondering what to make of the person. Guys here can have enough trouble figuring out themselves so it is no wonder strangers wouldn't know what to think sometimes. Give them some clues, skirts and heels together can still come off masculine given a clearly male belt style, shirts, and hairstyles.

Welcome to posting, Jeff.

Quiet Mouse

[Ray]

JeffB,

Welcome to the Café. I've admired your adventures on the HHplace forum (where I lurk from time to time!) for some years and have to say that your skirted fashion - heeled and hosed - is fabulous and remains very masculine. I sense that at least one forum member (Emerald Witch - watch out!) is going to LOVE your style!

[JeffB1959]

JeffB,

Welcome to the Café. I've admired your adventures on the HHplace forum (where I lurk from time to time!) for some years and have to say that your skirted fashion - heeled and hosed - is fabulous and remains very masculine. I sense that at least one forum member (Emerald Witch - watch out!) is going to LOVE your style!

Thanks a lot, Ray! I appreciate the compliment. I merely do as best I can. Sooner or later, I'm definitely going to want to wear a skirt in public as a man, just to see what it's like. I have a feeling that would make for quite an exciting experience. meanwhile, for the benefit of anyone curious about what I look like in a skirt, here's a pic. I hope you'll find the presentation tasteful. At the risk of sounding boastful, I'm sure I could pull off a look like this in public as it's stylish without being over the top. Perfect for fall which is on the way. Please let me know what you think.

[Emerald Witch]

JeffB1959, I've gotta say it -- HUBBA, HUBBA, DUDE!!!

Yes, it's true, you look HOT! Don't let anyone tell you what to wear, you've obviously got GREAT fashion sense!

I have absolutely no idea why anyone would ever wonder if masculine and feminine go together... It's like asking whether hamburger patties and buns go together... Yes, they're different, but it WORKS!

Whew! I'm gonna go fan myself a minute...

[JeffB1959]

JeffB1959, I've gotta say it -- HUBBA, HUBBA, DUDE!!!

Yes, it's true, you look HOT! Don't let anyone tell you what to wear, you've obviously got GREAT fashion sense!

I have absolutely no idea why anyone would ever wonder if masculine and feminine go together... It's like asking whether hamburger patties and buns go together... Yes, they're different, but it WORKS!

Whew! I'm gonna go fan myself a minute...

Emerald Witch: Many thanks for the compliment. I've never had anyone call me "hot" before, that's certainly good for the ol' ego. Heh! I guess that if the presentation is assembled properly, masculine and feminine aspects of fashion can work well together. By the by, you should see what I look like in a miniskirt. I've had people say I have legs women would kill for. Double heh!

[MtnBiker]

Jeff, you look magnificent in that photo! If you wore that in public, the boots would be _much_ more of an 'issue' than the shirt. Put on some 'normal' shoes and head out in that and I bet you get only positive feedback (if any at all). Very nice.

[SkirtedViking]

I would say put a matching blouse on and still wear it as yourself-a normal guy.It is normal for women to wear ALL masculine apparel,so if we want to be equal why limit ourselves only to skirts?I forgot it is harder to be accepted in society,but that is what we are for-to fight for fashion freedom for the males!

[Ray]

Jeff,

Told you EW would like your style... Wait till she sees you in a shorter skirt!! Good for you, Jeff.

SkirtedViking - fashion freedom is about not slavishly following rules. If we are going to wear skirts, why do we then have to wear female tops? We do if we choose, but in contrast to your comment, I would say that women tend to blend masculine and feminine elements for the most part, and not go totally masculine. That's what Jeff is doing.

I have to confess that I can't really see what a blouse gives me when I can wear a similar mans shirt. Where's the advantage? Where a type of fashion is denied to me, then that's an issue, but when the female alternative is similar to the mens choice, then I can't see the need to cross over to the other side of the clothes shop.

[JeffB1959]

SkirtedViking: It never occured to me to consider a women's top, I just went with what's in my closet. Besides, I like being able to mix and match articles of clothing from both sides of the gender fence. I've toyed with the idea of wearing a slip under the skirt if I ever go out in same, but I haven't made up my mind on that score.

Ray: Oh, yes, EW did indeed fawn over me. That was pretty neat. As for a pic of me in a short skirt, I'm working on something special that will blow her mind for sure. Stay tuned....