skirtcafe.org

Hi there everyone. New user from UK. Been lurking around for a few months reading many of the posts around the forums.

I just want to say thanks to everyone and that all the posts have been so helpful.

I had an interest in wearing skirts for many years but fear stopped me from doing so. In the past couple of years I’ve really been exploring the idea of what is my self identity etc.

So recently in lockdown I decided to order a few skirts online and begun just wearing them around the house whilst working from home. Instantly I was in love with the degree of comfort over trousers/shorts. So I went online and ordered quite a few more skirts and was amazed by how much variety there is over trousers/jeans only for men’s clothing.

Over the past few weeks I started venturing outside in skirts, firstly a few times to the nearby shops, then the opticians and more recently I went to my parents skirted up. If you can trust anyone to be brutally honest with you, it’s your parents, so I was quite nervous of their reactions. Firstly my mum was looking at me all confused then asked, “are you wearing a skirt”. So I told her i was and she was very confused and i think couldn’t quite understand. I told her she will have to get used to it and if she can’t it’s her issue, not mine. My dad didn’t really say anything so idk his thoughts on it and my brother, after some initial confusion said, “just wear whatever you want”. So all in all, not the terrible reaction I was expecting.

This week we are back in the office. Initially I had planned to just roll up in a skirt. But after a very sleepless night, decided I wanted to discuss it with my manager. She had been super supportive to me when I was struggling with being in Lockdown and it didn’t feel fair to blindside her. And I figured having the discussion at least I will have someone on my side rather than starting off in an adversarial position if the reaction did go badly.

So after discussing she said she had to check with HR and our overall director and today told me that there was no reason it was forbidden and that the business fully supports it and now I have allies if other colleagues are mean about it etc. I was really expecting it to go badly, but so glad it didn’t.

I feel really happy that I finally confronted my thoughts I’ve had for so many years about wanting to wear skirt and overcame the fear. I think what really pushed me forward is that in society today the understanding of gender identity and expression, especially amongst my age group (30s) and below is so much better than when I first had thoughts about skirts. I feel this means companies have to be understanding as their future workforce is the people who want the changes to society.

Anyway, to conclude, tomorrow will be my first day skirted to work. My manager, HR, and team already know but nobody else does, so I look forward to the reactions. Although to a person who doesn't really like being the centre of attention I’m hoping for no reaction. LOL. If any, hopefully all positive, but if not, that’s not my problem.

Thanks again to all the members here as reading your experiences really helped me have the confidence to go out in public and address this with my employer.

Welcome aboard, Pete, and good luck on your new voyage of discovery.

Good luck! I'm in a similar boat as you, though not all of my family knows. I work in a pretty progressive place, so I wasn't worried about HR, more so just colleague's questions. I've been into work quite a few times during the pandemic skirted - but have had little interaction with people since there are usually only about 10 people in the building at a time, if that. What interaction I have had has been... a non-issue. Either people don't notice, don't care, or whatever. I haven't talked with a close colleague yet, currently my biggest fear.

Greetings from the Shenandoah Valley! I started wearing kilts in my 20's and only recently added skirts to my wardrobe (I'm in my 40's now). You are right, your generation and younger will embrace men in skirts. My teenage daughters are my biggest supporters and even help me with my wardrobe choices!

I will echo the sentiment of many others on this forum: the best accessory to any skirt is confidence!

Welcome, Pete. I wish you well. Let us know how things go at work.

Welcome, and more power to you. Yes, glad for the greater acceptance from the 'younger' set. I'm a chess-nut as well as skirt-nut so I'm often about the schools as a volunteer chess instructor, and though the kids are more observant of a guy in a skirt -- not bashful about letting their reactions show--they too take it in stride; while the other staff, often your age range, more than not will tell me 'thank you'. So, not exactly the same as one's routine work-place where you are dependent upon relationships for your paycheck, but another example of how ready most people are to let your fashion choices by yours. Do wear them with confidence and even pride, and be prepared for a straightforward response to the inevitable colleague query-- "What's with the skirts", or "why" or other simple curiosities--they usually reflect a genuine interest and openness. (Comfort, fashion and expression options, getting away from conformity that confines....whatever, a non-defensive straightforward answer often opens the door to good things.)

The first few times will no doubt be a bit worrisome, but your forays into public venues is good 'training'! Enjoy your freedom. And though I don't think you 'need permission' from HR or anyone else, it was good on you to bring some of your staff on board with notice. Here, in Costa Rica, we say:

Pura Vida,

Hi and welcome!

I have been wearing skirts for years now, but there are still things I haven't had the courage to do, one of them is visiting my relatives in a skirt, or my mates in Sheffield, or go to work, although at work the team do know I wear skirts.

As I don't have a large circle of friends and one of my mates complained at me spending the week kilted on one canal trip, I don't want to test their friendship by indulging in skirtery. Before anyone says, yes they are good mates and have been for many years, I don't want to risk losing those friendships over an item of clothing, last time I visited them I travelled down skirted, made good use of a real ale pub on Platform 1, got changed into jeans and wobbled my way to the house I was staying in. Doing something very similar for the return journey, it was a few years ago now and I have a sort of faded memory of starting the return journey at my mate's house skirted, but not sure now.

Welcone in the SkirtCafé!

I'm happy for you that you are bringing the skirt in your daily life without big issue. Step by step, is the best way of doing and I hope it will continue to go that fine for you!
Looking forward for your first skirted day at work!

Good luck tomorrow. I'm sure you wont have any problems. I remember my first day skirted at work when I just turned up wearing it. No negative reaction at all - just a query "Special occasion?" To which I replied, "No, felt like a change" which was accepted all round.

Thanks for the replies with your experiences, kind words of encouragement everyone.

Here is my update.

First day in went really well. On my way in I bumped into a work colleague who I get on with really well. She was understandably a little confused at first and asked if there was a special occasion. So I explained and she was super supportive and positive, told me it looked great, which really gave me that boost I needed before walking in through the office doors. Once inside again it was a few confused looks but no negative comments. Whenever anyone asked I just explained about the variety of choices and how comfortable I was. I was wearing a pale blue formal work shirt with dark green, sort of on-knee length, A-line skirt and black socks to above the calves, so my knees were exposed but that’s all, and black oxfords.

After bumping into people in the kitchen/loos and fielding questions about my “kilt”, I guess the green is similar to a lot of tartans, and maybe it helps people rationalise it, so whatever. Only one much older guy was like WTH but even though he was trying not to be rude his reaction felt it had underlying rudeness to it. But I was able to just shrug it off and move on. Next I had to pop to HR to collect some things and the 2 HR ladies said something along the lines of, “oh cool, nice skirt” after the initial confused glance. I’ve worked with them for about 5 years and I’m very friendly with people around the office which I think really helped. Went to shoe shop to get new trainers in the lunch break and the young girl in the shop didn’t even double take, just took it as normal, hopefully that’s a sign of the future.

So that was day 1, I really felt super confident and just owned it the whole day. Was so buzzing by the time I got home from work. After work I had a meeting for a sports committee I am on and decided to wear knee length denim with T-shirt and hoodie and the above calf socks. One of the guys picks me up and all he said was, “dude it’s way to cold for a skirt tonight”.

Thursday, day 2 I decided to go with plain white shirt, brown plaid skirt and black tights with the oxfords. Just an aside, love how black tights make my legs look way slimmer! So today I was around different areas of the office again and as usual the first time people notice, there’s a few confused looks, but otherwise it was fine! Then later in the day I found out the receptionist from our other building, which I used to work in, was on our reception. I’ve worked with her for about 5 years and she is honestly the most lovely person I have ever worked with. So at around 17:00 when it was home time as I knew she would still be locking up I popped down for a chat. She was totally like “OMG I love your new look and your skirt is amazing!”. Then she told me about one of her male friends, not from here, who also wears skirts all the time! So yeah, I had a good chat with her, such a great end to the day! Again I went home feeling on top of the world.

So that brings us to now. I spent this evening trying to organise an outfit for tomorrow for casual Friday. Decided on: black A-line, about 3 inches above the knee, hope that work don’t consider that mini as that’s against dress code but like that’s still way longer than I’ve seen some ladies wear on business casual days so hope it’s ok. Anyway, paired that with white graphic T, tucked in and then casual large plaid shirt open on top. For the bottom half I didn’t want to go bare legs, so decided on burgundy tights with my white converse high-top shoes. I guess people call it like a casual skateboarder look idk.

Anyway, I’m excited to rock the outfit tomorrow. Slowly learning how to coordinate outfits so they don’t look to random or like weird body shape etc.

Anyway, that’s it for now. Thanks again for all the replies. I’ll see you all around the cafe.

Grand start! You've already mastered the difficult part -- the folks you know! As you saw in the shops, little attention is paid. Surprisingly it is family, and sometimes the work environment that are the most difficult to breach -- so you've got a great boost and start. Keep us posted, and keep the confidence. Thanks for the update.

Wow, this is a very great beginning at work! Sounds like you will have the opportunity to wear a skirt whenever you want!

Hello and welcome, Pete07. You're off to a flying start, and the reactions you have had are fantastic!

That seemed to be three skirted days in a row, are you ever going back to trousers?