De-lurk!

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MrSoapsud
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De-lurk!

Post by MrSoapsud »

Hi,
I've been lurking here for a while. I've realised I'm missing out on some topics because I haven't posted anything, so I'm trying to address that and investigating moving on in the process. I've had an inkling about wearing clothes that aren't associated with chaps since I was a kid, but didn't do anything about it until a few years ago when I mysteriously plucked up the courage to buy a dress. I'm fortunate in that a number of my wife's skirts fit me, but most of the time she doesn't understand why I might want to wear them. As a girl she fought against having to wear skirts to school especially when she rode a boy's bicycle! She rarely wears skirts or dresses these days apart from when she feels like "dressing up". I try to suggest that her preferring me not to wear skirts would be like me preferring her not to wear trousers but don't get far. Occasionally she will tolerate it (we went out for a meal on my birthday with me wearing a skirt and boots) but mostly I'm limited to when she isn't at home. We're both in our 50's and have been married 26 years.
I'm interested in the opinions of @satseq and other women on here who don't mind or even encourage their chaps and whether they understand why some women don't approve?
Thanks
M

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crfriend
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by crfriend »

Welcome aboard, Sir!

One of the things that has been noted hereon is that family members -- especially wives -- are the hardest nuts to crack of all. It's the very lucky bloke indeed whose wife tolerates, much less embraces, his "alternate sartorial style". The sad thing about this observation is that it seems to be the biggest hill of all to take. We may be able to overcome our own hesitancy, but getting our partners to sometimes seems insurmountable.

Moreover, welcome to a wider, more diverse, and, I'd posit, a richer world.
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skirtyscot
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by skirtyscot »

Welcome, MrSoapsud!

As you've been lurking awhile, you may already know that you are more fortunate then many of the guys here. Your wife sometimes puts up with your skirts. Keep pushing gently, you may end up in a good position, with a fair amount of freedom.

Do you go out skirted when your Mrs is not around? Or even when she is around but you're going out without her? What does she say about that?
Keep on skirting,

Alastair

MrSoapsud
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by MrSoapsud »

skirtyscot wrote:
> Welcome, MrSoapsud!

Why thank you Skirty!

> As you've been lurking awhile, you may already know that you are more
> fortunate then many of the guys here. Your wife sometimes puts up with your
> skirts. Keep pushing gently, you may end up in a good position, with a fair
> amount of freedom.

That's partly why I'm curious about the thought processes of the ladies who support/encourage their chaps and the different thought processes in those who don't. That insight might help with the pushing...

> Do you go out skirted when your Mrs is not around? Or even when she is
> around but you're going out without her? What does she say about that?

I've only been out skirted twice, both times with my good lady when she was being tolerant.
I'm really trying to get my head around how, as a girl she was determined that she wouldn't have to wear skirts, but that in disliking me doing so, she's being a tad hypocritical?
Ho-hum...
M

MrSoapsud
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by MrSoapsud »

crfriend wrote:
> Welcome aboard, Sir!
>
> One of the things that has been noted hereon is that family members --
> especially wives -- are the hardest nuts to crack of all. It's the very
> lucky bloke indeed whose wife tolerates, much less embraces, his
> "alternate sartorial style". The sad thing about this
> observation is that it seems to be the biggest hill of all to take. We may
> be able to overcome our own hesitancy, but getting our partners to
> sometimes seems insurmountable.
>
> Moreover, welcome to a wider, more diverse, and, I'd posit, a richer world.

Thank you for your welcome Master Barista!
M

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Sinned
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by Sinned »

Welcome Mr Soapsud. MOH is tolerant of my skirt wearing around the house but not when guests are present. She is also against me wearing a skirt out of the house when she is with me. She knows that I sometimes wear a skirt outside when she isn't around but seems to ignore the fact. When I have pressed her as to her reason why she is against my skirts she says that when she looks at me all she can see is me as a woman. I don't wear a skirt to look like a woman but for other reasons so I can't understand, but accept, her reasoning and it's not a viewpoint that I can really do much to change. Does that help?
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.

MrSoapsud
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by MrSoapsud »

Sinned wrote:
Tue Jan 21, 2020 11:05 am
Welcome Mr Soapsud. MOH is tolerant of my skirt wearing around the house but not when guests are present. She is also against me wearing a skirt out of the house when she is with me. She knows that I sometimes wear a skirt outside when she isn't around but seems to ignore the fact. When I have pressed her as to her reason why she is against my skirts she says that when she looks at me all she can see is me as a woman. I don't wear a skirt to look like a woman but for other reasons so I can't understand, but accept, her reasoning and it's not a viewpoint that I can really do much to change. Does that help?
Thanks for the welcome and yes, any insight in to how women think about men in skirts is welcome.

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crfriend
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by crfriend »

MrSoapsud wrote:
Tue Jan 21, 2020 11:37 am
[... A]ny insight in to how women think about men in skirts is welcome.
The conventional wisdom seems to be that women are accepting of skirts and the like on guys -- so long as it's not on their guy. Then they start getting testy.

In my experience, both within and without a relationship, the above isn't necessarily always true as when I was married my wife was entirely accepting of my sartorial style. However, it looks like that's the unusual case. Now that I'm no longer married I have no problems striking up friendships with women, but cannot seem to get one actually "interested" in me (if you catch the drift), so the first paragraph may be operative after all. Confounding the above matter even more is the scarcity of unattached women in my age-bracket who are actually interesting enough to be of interest to me; as the old saw goes, "All the good ones are taken."
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!

geron
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by geron »

My wife says she's happy with me in kilts (utility kilts) but says she doesn't like me in skirts. But then she's not a great skirt-wearer herself, except for special occasions. She has unhappy memories of chilly bus journeys to school, in uniform skirt and stockings, when she had to wait for ever on a windy river bridge to change buses. So she is a reluctant stocking wearer too :-( But, surprisingly, she seems to regard my Skirtcraft skirts, my Hiatus maleskirt [sic] and my North Face hiking skirt as honorary kilts. And that's a compromise I can live with.

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Jim
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by Jim »

My wife doesn't do computers much, but I'll say how things are with her. I started wearing skirts for comfort when I had some skin irritation around the groin. She was supportive of wearing the skirts, but not in public at first, because they were for women. After we talked about how she wore many items of menswear, it seemed only fair that I could wear a skirt. She now sometimes encourages it. I think it helps that I have a full beard, so don't look at all feminine nor could anyone think I was trying to look like a woman.
Last edited by Jim on Tue Jan 21, 2020 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hope
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by Hope »

crfriend wrote:
Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:43 pm

One of the things that has been noted hereon is that family members -- especially wives -- are the hardest nuts to crack of all.
Sooooo true! 😭

MrSoapsud
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by MrSoapsud »

Thanks geron and Jim for those comments. I have a beard too so maybe there's hope!

geron
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by geron »

I have a beard too, though not an especially luxuriant one....

skirtyscot
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by skirtyscot »

MrSoapsud wrote:
Mon Jan 20, 2020 8:01 pm
I'm really trying to get my head around how, as a girl she was determined that she wouldn't have to wear skirts, but that in disliking me doing so, she's being a tad hypocritical?
Ho-hum...
M

My wife fully accepted that from the start, and her defence was that women in trousers are normal, but men in skirts are not. (Which of course is true.) So she was embarrassed to be seen with me in a skirt, or at the thought of people we know seeing me in a skirt. (Which to be fair to her, is rational.) But I didn't give up,and after a while, once everyone had seen me in a skirt, and I was clearly quite content about it, she began to relent. Now she frequently goes out with me in a skirt, though she does like me to wear trousers some of the time. All of which is no guarantee that your wife will ever get to where mine is. :roll:
Keep on skirting,

Alastair

MrSoapsud
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Re: De-lurk!

Post by MrSoapsud »

skirtyscot wrote:
Wed Jan 22, 2020 9:38 pm
My wife fully accepted that from the start, and her defence was that women in trousers are normal, but men in skirts are not. (Which of course is true.) So she was embarrassed to be seen with me in a skirt, or at the thought of people we know seeing me in a skirt. (Which to be fair to her, is rational.) But I didn't give up,and after a while, once everyone had seen me in a skirt, and I was clearly quite content about it, she began to relent. Now she frequently goes out with me in a skirt, though she does like me to wear trousers some of the time. All of which is no guarantee that your wife will ever get to where mine is. :roll:
Thanks for the encouragement. I've pointed out that "women in trousers are normal" now but wind the clock back to the 50's and (from what I've seen and heard) a woman in trousers would be much like a man in a skirt now.

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