skirtcafe.org

Hi. I’m one of those who have lurked here for some time before joining. Whilst agreeing with the principle of fashion freedom, I identify with those who are concerned about being busted. My senior position in my denomination means I have connections to a lot of networks. One photo on Facebook would be sufficient to potentially link to hundreds if people. And my wife (who is not yet on ide) would learn about it pretty quickly.

I’m currently sat in a relatively quiet Marks and Spencer café having enjoyed jacket potato with chilli. I’m wearing a black polo neck sweater with a an orange lambs wool v-neck on top. Below is an ankle length tan leather skirt, black socks and tanning shoes. Everything but the kirt is male.

The greenboots refers to a pit of Kickers I had when I met my wife. She described them as “jolly”, which I’m sure was euphemistic. I have always liked clothing that stood out a bit, usually in colour. She was delighted when the waist button finally popped on my bright es corduroy jeans. Sadly, it’s not easy to get such clothes now, unless you have £80-100 to spend in House of Bruar.

So my skirts are partly rebellion and partly comfort. I’ll tell you a bit more another time.

Welcome to the board, greenboots. It's always good to have new members.

Several things about your post are interesting. When you say, "My senior position in my denomination ," does that imply you hold a religious office of some kind?

Also, I can't believe that wearing a kilt (even if your preferences is some other kind of skirt) would raise eyebrows in Edinburgh. Have you ever done that as a way to get started?

And if you're that afraid of exposure, doesn't sitting in a public café carry some of the same risks?

Welcome!

Greenboots - I had a hairline like the one in you avatar picture in my late 20s. Discovered it in the three way mirror while being fitted for a suit.

If you ever want to post pictures of yourself make sure they are in the Pics and Looks section. It is blocked by being scanned by search engine bots.

Hi Caultron

Yes, I hold a “religious Office of some kind”

True a kilt would not attract attention. I bought a dress kilt second hand which gets outings two or three times a year for special occasions. My wife thinks it strange if I want to wear it at other times. I will probably get a plain coloured casual kilt for more general wear. Having said that, I find kilts fussy. I don’t generally do “detail” in clothing. Simple lines suit me better, hence plain skirts. Also, kilts don’t cater for covering up in winter. The skirt I wore yesterday was sorry leather with a polyester satin lining - a very nice feel on the legs and falls neatly when seated.

A public cafe is only risky at a time and place where you are likely to find people you know. This was in a mall on the edge of the city where (as far as I know) my associates are not likely to be found - though you can’t guarantee anything.

greenboots wrote:...True a kilt would not attract attention. I bought a dress kilt second hand which gets outings two or three times a year for special occasions. My wife thinks it strange if I want to wear it at other times. I will probably get a plain coloured casual kilt for more general wear. Having said that, I find kilts fussy. I don’t generally do “detail” in clothing. Simple lines suit me better, hence plain skirts. Also, kilts don’t cater for covering up in winter. The skirt I wore yesterday was sorry leather with a polyester satin lining - a very nice feel on the legs and falls neatly when seated...

Sometimes these things take time and patience. Even though your wife finds tartan kilts strange outside special occasions, if she at least tolerates them, you could gradually wear them more and more, and then start mixing in more casual kilts. I understand that's not your eventual goal but it could be progress.

As to kilts in the cold, there's always heavy socks or (particularly with non-tartan lilts) leggings or thigh-high socks.

I take it that a cassock or friar's robe is either out of the question or just doesn't seem like progress.

greenboots wrote:Hi Caultron

True a kilt would not attract attention. I bought a dress kilt second hand which gets outings two or three times a year for special occasions. My wife thinks it strange if I want to wear it at other times. I will probably get a plain coloured casual kilt for more general wear. Having said that, I find kilts fussy. I don’t generally do “detail” in clothing.

Utility type kilts have been described as the "blue jeans" of kilting. Intended to be informal, they aren't fussy. So such garments might be a good thing to try.

Grok wrote:Utility type kilts have been described as the "blue jeans" of kilting. Intended to be informal, they aren't fussy...

I guess it depends on each person's definition of, "fussy."

A kilt of any fabric inherently requires more arranging of pleats and tucking under than, say, a pencil skirt.

Hello and greenboots.

I agree with you about kilts, the pleats are a bit of a faff and I prefer skirts.

If you're trying not to get noticed, then an orange jumper is not the way to go about it! Sounds like a good outfit though.

You say your wife is not on side. Does that mean she doesn't know, or that she does know and she is against them?

Alastair,

I pick my time and place to avoid colleagues - though the risk that I might get it wrong can be either a thrill or a fright!

My wife tolerates my skirts at home. She has used phrases like "It freaks me out" or "It's embarrassing" at the thought of me wearing them in public. She knows of a few occasions in the past, but at the moment I say very little. Conversations on the subject don't go very far and usually end with silence from her. Occasionally in the street she or shops she has asked, "would you wear that?" and I answer honestly. She likes me in a kilt, but can't see that it's a skirt by another name (and I can't see real Highlanders in a pleated wrap number!)

Anyway, I live in hope of a change in the wind, but for now, I keep quiet.

Steven

Steven, I empathise as I am in a similar position. MOH tolerates skirts in the house and when others are not visiting but absolutely refuses to accompany me when I am skirted. Sad, I know but I do what I can and do wear skirts out of the house but I do it openly and if I meet people I know then I meet them with a smile and act naturally. I'm not worried about word getting back to MOH as she knows that I do it. I find that, like you, I keep quiet as too much conversation quickly deteriorates into a heated one-sided argument - she shouts and I try not to listen but say nowt.

With very few exceptions, my wife also refuses to be seen with me in public when I'm wearing a skirt.

But for several years now I've work a skirt all the rest of the time, and I've met lots of people that I and my wife both know, and I'm sure they've discussed what I wear. And my wife has never come home and torn into me because some store clerk or neighbor described me as perverted or ridiculous or shameful or whatever. So I presume they've just told my wife, "Oh, it's harmless," or, "Well, I guess that's just what he wants to wear," or even, "He does out together nice outfits, they're kind of fun sometimes." In short, I presume they've reported the same reactions to my wife as I get from them in person.

That's a lot of presumptions but they all fit the facts.

She not 100% happy about my skirts anytime, but she's become resigned to my wearing them when I'm at home or out without her. And she also accepts my skirts when visitors come to the house.

The rare times she will accept being out with me in a skirt are (1) my birthday and, (2) when we're buying something expensive. When it's time to go I just skip changing, we might exchange stares for half a second, and then everything goes perfectly normally.

To tell the truth, I think the whole thing is more of a control issue over something she really doesn't like than resistance to the thing itself.

Caultron wrote:With very few exceptions, my wife also refuses to be seen with me in public when I'm wearing a skirt. To tell the truth, I think the whole thing is more of a control issue over something she really doesn't like than resistance to the thing itself.

Well that is what all women try to do. Control the man and make sure he stays controlled, so that he won't embarrass you. My goodness what will the neighbors think of "ME" if they saw "YOU" in a skirt or dress.
Life has been like this for thousands of years. I know the women will have you think differently, but it really has.

Caultron, I agree with you on the control bit but you must admit the other party is not exactly receptive to discussion about it. Like you I try and ignore the issue whenever I can, go out in skirts when I want to when she isn't around and let MOH deal with it as she wants to.

Fred in Skirts wrote:My goodness what will the neighbors think of "ME" if they saw "YOU" in a skirt or dress.

Pushed about what her objections were, my wife said exactly that. The neighbours all found out because I made no effort to hide from them, and lo and behold they didn't care. To be fair to her, her objections have been lessening over the years.