Newbie here

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Newbie here

Postby steamman » Sun Feb 05, 2017 7:26 pm

Hi everyone,

Been looking at this site on/off for a few years now, hell even registered a few years ago, but never posted anything.

I live in England and I've been curious about wearing skirts for sometime now, and read up a lot about it. I had a similar revelation with footwear many, many years ago, i.e. I'd been curious about wearing high heels, and I finally took the plunge and have worn high heeled boots on and off (as a man) over the last 16 years, in full public view and never had any issues whatsoever with it. Despite these experiences, i'd never considered extending that to other items normally associated with females, i.e. skirts until recently. I am not sure why, but the only thing I can point to is that i'd become increasingly bored with only wearing trousers! So, finally, last week, I gave in to curiousity and bought a skirt from eBay. I don't fancy the look of shorter skirts, and showing my legs, so I decided to got for full length maxi skirt. Yesterday, a stunning blue, straight denim maxi skirt arrived. My wife (she doesn't know anything about this yet) and kids were out for the day, so I had all day to take in the experience. I tried the skirt on, and immediately it was an epiphany moment, it felt incredible and looking in the mirror at myself, it looked sensational! I've never worn anything before that feels so comfortable or makes me feel so good. I spent most of the day wearing it, and in truth, I didn't want to take it off, I just loved the way the skirt moved and the feel of the material around my legs. Now, I just need to take the first trip out in public. Not sure what to do about shoes, but I was thinking that (flat) knee high boots (another passion of mine) might work.
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Re: Newbie here

Postby skirtyscot » Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:00 pm

Hello Steamman, and :welcome: !

Great that you've finally broken cover here, and please try to up your rate of posting above the psychologically important once a year mark! :lol:

Skirts feel great, don't they? A long one is a good place to start, just like jeans but more comfortable. I confidently predict that the world at large will accept your skirts with the same nonchalant shrug as your boots, so get out there!

As for your nearest and dearest, their initial reaction to your boots may be the best indicator of how they will react to your skirt, but there's really only one way to find out ... Best of luck!
Keep on skirting,

Alastair
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Re: Newbie here

Postby moonshadow » Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:31 pm

Welcome steamman! Your membership here is older than mine, yet you have much catching up to do! :D

Regarding the wife, I'd get that out asap. Don't want a secret like that festering for too long. Unfortunately, you've taken a bite of the forbidden apple and now you are exiled from the garden of Eden better known as "normal marriages"....

There's nothing you can do but learn to live with it. Nip it in the bud now, rally your support, and remember, your ace in the hole is chances are the wife wears trousers! Use that to your advantage.

Godspeed sir! Hit this issue with full steam.. man! :P
"Our task is not to destroy but to build; not to hate but to find a place of yielding; not to polarize but to discover the points of commonality so that we can work together. Learn this lesson, dear friends, it will serve you well"
-Rebbe Zalman
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Re: Newbie here

Postby Grok » Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:37 pm

Good luck with your choice, steam man. :)

The superior comfort has been noted by a number of men who have tried skirts.
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Re: Newbie here

Postby mishawakaskirt » Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:58 pm

Welcome to the cafe!

Two things
Kilts also are a great option also. I mistakenly went through 20 years of confusion, trying skirts only I got confused and struggled with bouts of gender identity. Its not the fact its a female garment that makes it feel great its the fact that its a unbifiricated garment that is what makes it great.
Waiting 20 years to try a kilt was a mistake on my part.
I own a multitude of skirts, three kilts, and hopefully soon a friend is bringing me a couple of Longyis back from Myamar.

Second point, and there is no easy way to do this, you will have to tell your wife. Carefully, carefully carefully! I told my wife partial truth long before we got married, that I had a thing for skirts. After 13 years we still have "issues" pertaining to skirts and kilts. I don't know how many times I have had to tell her I don't want to be a woman, skirt does not equal transgender.
There is no book answer on this, but somehow it must be done, sooner than
later.

You have come to the right place! SC is full of men and and even a few ladies that are full of advice tips and support to help you along the way.
Best wishes, Mishawaka
Mishawakaskirt @2wayskirt on Twitter

Avoid the middle man, wear a kilt or skirt.
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Re: Newbie here

Postby steamman » Thu Mar 02, 2017 7:33 pm

Thanks for the advice from everybody, and my apologies for the delay in responding.

I agree that I need to have the conversation with my wife, however, now is not the right time for a number of reasons. That said, I think she will be receptive to it.

Last few weeks, i've been getting used to the denim maxi skirt at home, in terms of how it moves, given that it is very long. Tonight, I needed to go shopping at the supermarket for a few items and I made the decision that I would wear the skirt as I thought, why wait any longer, seize the moment. So, combined with a normal shirt, fleece and a pair of flat knee high boots, off I went. I have to say that getting out of the car was the hardest part, I was very apprehensive. However, when I did climb out, my fear immediately melted away, I actually felt amazing! Walking around the shop in a skirt was completely liberating, it was almost as if a part of my life that had missing for so long fell into place. The other thing was that nobody seemed to bother, or was indifferent to it. But then why should they when you think about it logically? It's a one legged pair of jeans after all! The conclusion I came to is that anything goes nowadays, and the fear is in our heads only. So to all men out there that are fearful of trying a skirt in public: just go for it.

So, i've done it :D , broken the mould so to speak. Now is the hard part: telling my wife.
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Re: Newbie here

Postby moonshadow » Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:55 pm

Your story takes me back to the first time I ventured out. Oh, I've been so pushy on my last several threads here as it's become so second nature to me I've forgotten that first feeling. Like so many other first, first kiss, first love, first job, first day of school, ahh but it's those feelings that give life it's spice isn't it?

I contemplate my business next week and how it may lead to my "first" time living in another state, far from "home", and that old nervous feeling of butterflies returns. I couldn't sleep a wink last night.... I love it! But anyway, I digress....

I've heard of little reaction in the public of those who live where you live. I'd say you're better off than I am on that one. Interestingly, virtually everyone of the regular members of the cafe who lives in the U.K. who is married seems to have an unsupportive wife. I find this odd. With the more progressive nature of European countries you'd think it would be the other way around, and yet on this one subject, the women over there seem quite contrary.

It's like this buddy, she'll either accept it or she wont. If she does, great. Don't take some resistance as a bad thing, my wife wasn't for it all the way when I told her. I still recall the "well....... okay, but no red ones!" comment. I now have several red ones. It just takes time. But if she just goes bat sh!t crazy right off, then you may have an issue. Then it comes down to three choices: 1) Stand your ground and hopefully she'll come around eventually, but you risk divorce. 2) Hide it like too many men here do. [0] 3) Don't wear skirts.

[0] This was not meant as a jab at men who have to hide their clothing choices from their wife, but rather a calling out of the nasty double standard that each and every one of you have wives that enjoy their choice of skirts or trousers.... use that argument to your advantage steamman! - What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
"Our task is not to destroy but to build; not to hate but to find a place of yielding; not to polarize but to discover the points of commonality so that we can work together. Learn this lesson, dear friends, it will serve you well"
-Rebbe Zalman
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Re: Newbie here

Postby Disaffected.citizen » Sat Mar 04, 2017 11:46 pm

First of all, :welcome: Steamman.

You are no doubt aware that there are many members here scattered across England, Wales and Scotland so you are probably not too far from a like minded individual. Well done on getting out there.

moonshadow wrote:.....
I've heard of little reaction in the public of those who live where you live. I'd say you're better off than I am on that one.
People are people the world over, Moonshadow. I think it depends where and when you go as to the reactions, both here in the UK and over there in the USA.

moonshadow wrote:Interestingly, virtually everyone of the regular members of the cafe who lives in the U.K. who is married seems to have an unsupportive wife. I find this odd. With the more progressive nature of European countries you'd think it would be the other way around, and yet on this one subject, the women over there seem quite contrary.
See above! In the UK we have our middle England "conservatives" who you'd think would have a problem, yet they don't; and our progressive "liberals" who profess tolerance, but actually object to our lifestyle choices. Go figure...

Parts of Europe are very cosmopolitan, other parts you'd be best advised not to draw attention to yourself - and in this context a man in a skirt would be very noticeable!

As for partners/wives, again their levels of tolerance vary. You are one very lucky man there, Moonshadow; Jen is a gem!
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