skirtcafe.org

re-introduce myself.

The last time I came on here, I was working in London, living in Berkshire, UK. I have since moved jobs and now based in Wiltshire. It is a rather rural area that I live in. Even though my job is no longer in London, I still do travel to London on work meetings.

So... I am still very keen to wear what I want. I told my "best friend" who is male, and a very close female friend. Both of them are cool with it, the female friend is even going to take me shopping!

I have spoken to my new management and the majority are cool with it, just my immediate line manager has tried to talk me out of it. There are a lot of people in the office know I want to dress in skirts and other "female" clothing, but I can see that I may have issues with certain other individuals in the office, and in the building in general.

I was hoping to start next week during half term when it will be a little quieter. But due to cronic pain issues and change in medication I have decided it may be better to leave it until it gets settled again. I am going to arrange a chat with my management, and one other colleague who I have told, the majority will be about another thing, but was going to raise that I want to wear "female clothing" at work and would like there support. Do any of you have any tips on what to say, especially to the line manager?

I should point out that I have shown my colleagues who know pictures of what I have, they say it should be OK. But would prefer something a little more suitable for an office environment.

It is worth pointing out that what's appropriate for office settings and for casual settings can be quite different depending on one's one "off-the-clock" sense of style. If one has an extremely casual off-the-clock style then a separate set of "on-the-clock" outfits will likely have to be procured; if one tends toward a more formal look in his off hours then there could be considerable crossover.

About the only stuff I have that I won't wear to work are my short skirts. They look fine, but I think they're just "too casual" for a professional setting.

It's a casual office, I tend to wear jeans in the Winter and Shorts in the summer. The skirts I have are pleated, one red, one pastel pink. Both are pretty long. I do have other skirts as well, but that is all they have seen so far.

Just a question as to how to discuss it and get the support of my line manager. Personally, I can't see why it's a problem.

A safe bet might be to judge your own attire based on what your colleagues are wearing.

The pastel pink might be a bit much, but you could likely tone that down with darker colours up top. Red is absolutely acceptable in an office setting; in fact my ex had a long pleated red skirt (part of a suite) that was truly exquisite.

Welcome back, squeak24!

Did you ever wear a skirt to your previous job in London? Reading your older posts I see that you were all geared up to do it, but then things went quiet.

Nice to see you back and I hope that the condition is resolved soon. Safe is plain block colour knee length, black, blue, beige or denim. The so-called masculines. Pink would be a bit too much. A lot will also depend on what the remainder of the ensemble would be. A skirt with a shirt and jumper say would be ok. Teamed up with a spaghetti strap low neck top would probably be too far out. Generally mixing men's tops with a skirt would be safe. Complementary colour matching top and bottom, of course. I mix and match all the time, some being acceptable to the Critic Indoors and some not. I could wear a skirt to work and there have been no management objections to it but with being in retail and bending down a lot or going up ladders means that a skirt is not really advisable for man or woman.

The mention of term and half-term implies some connection to education, not necessarily as a teacher but perhaps in administration.

squeak24 wrote:...I have spoken to my new management and the majority are cool with it, just my immediate line manager has tried to talk me out of it...

Perhaps I'm reading too much into your wording, but if your line manager is trying to talk you out of it, doesn't that imply that it's your decision, and that he can't stop you?

Perhaps it would help to just wear a conservative skirt outfit once a week for a while. Pick a different day each week, though, so you don't get locked in. Tell your line manager, "Let's just see how it goes."

If female employees ever come to work skirted, take a cue from their styles. Or just start with the current male "uniform" and then swap out the pants for a knee-length-or-longer skirt in the same fabric and color.

And it probably wouldn't to ramp up some friendship with the other managers who support you.

Thanks for all your replies.

skirtyscot wrote: Did you ever wear a skirt to your previous job in London? Reading your older posts I see that you were all geared up to do it, but then things went quiet.

The intentin was there, but then where I was working started going downhill, change in personell, eventually the department I was in was disbanded. We could see it coming and thought to myself if I needed the hassle for just a few weeks.

Sinned wrote:Nice to see you back and I hope that the condition is resolved soon. Safe is plain block colour knee length, black, blue, beige or denim. The so-called masculines. Pink would be a bit too much. A lot will also depend on what the remainder of the ensemble would be. A skirt with a shirt and jumper say would be ok. Teamed up with a spaghetti strap low neck top would probably be too far out. Generally mixing men's tops with a skirt would be safe. Complementary colour matching top and bottom, of course. I mix and match all the time, some being acceptable to the Critic Indoors and some not. I could wear a skirt to work and there have been no management objections to it but with being in retail and bending down a lot or going up ladders means that a skirt is not really advisable for man or woman.

The mention of term and half-term implies some connection to education, not necessarily as a teacher but perhaps in administration.

And Caultron, thanks for advice, I will certainly take that all on board and see what I can get. The women I work with tend to wear suites and pencil type skirts. There is one who wears A-line (my personal preferences).

I don't work in education, it's just that normally when teh schools are on holiday it is a little quieter in the office, hence it may be a little easier when not as many people are around.

Pardon me but I'm a little vexed about something, I have been under the assumption that those of you over U.K. way were over these silly little clothing hang ups. In fact, I though this type of sex discrimination is illegal over there. Am I wrong?

This type of discussion is common among us over here state side, but over yonder I'm not accustomed to hearing this sort of thing.

Welcome back by the way!

I'm Moon, currently in a waxing gibbous state of mind.

Welcome back, squeak24.

squeak24 wrote:It's a casual office, I tend to wear jeans in the Winter and Shorts in the summer. The skirts I have are pleated, one red, one pastel pink. Both are pretty long. I do have other skirts as well, but that is all they have seen so far.

Just a question as to how to discuss it and get the support of my line manager. Personally, I can't see why it's a problem.

I'm mostly retired/self-employed now, but back in the days when I worked for a (mainly) Government-funded research establishment based near Nottingham, I wore skirts to the office on many an occasion. Nothing negative was ever said to me and I never asked permission. I just turned up one hot summer's day wearing a long cotton wrap-style skirt. That was the start and I wore a variety of skirts, mostly long, over the next few years until I took voluntary redundancy*.

Just do it.

*The redundancy was part of a establishment-wide staff reduction exercise. Quite a few people were offered a good package, including myself. It was nothing to do with wearing a skirt to work.

Moon, enlightened and tolerant is probably how I would describe the situation here. All companies have to have statements about the equalities and gender is one of them. Most have a brief note about clothing and in particular uniforms. Sometimes skirts are listed under gender specific heading but others, like my company, just specify what colour and type of skirt but don't specify that they are a girls only garment. But even if the company rules allow men to wear skirts the local personnel can generate quite a toxic atmosphere about it and make it difficult to complain.

I'm not really asking for "permission", I just thought it would be a good idea to let people know so it wasn't a huge shock to them. I have worn skirts and dresses since I was able to dress myself. But growing up in the 80's I was always told it was "wrong". Hence I am a little wary over it.

Where I work there is no dress code, we can wear whatever we like. Most go the formal route suit and tie on the male side, women tend to be more casual.

Like I say I am just a little dubious, but I guess the first time will be the hardest. Just with what my LM said last week, I don't really care what he says, but would like him to support rather than be negative. My former manager was completely OK with it, but again, my former manager was in his thirties, where my new manager is in his 50's, just wondering if it may be a generational thing.

squeak24 wrote:Where I work there is no dress code, we can wear whatever we like. Most go the formal route suit and tie on the male side, women tend to be more casual.

That's usually the case, but take your lead from the men and lean towards business-formal, even if it is with a skirted rig.