Skirts, not clumps in Holland - Introducing Mr Oost

If you're new to the Cafe, please grab a seat by the potted palm, settle down with a nice big latte, and tell us a little bit about yourself. Please also look here for forum principles and rules.

Skirts, not clumps in Holland - Introducing Mr Oost

Postby Oost » Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:45 pm

Dear all,

Some weeks ago, Mr Oost decided it was enough.
I had been breaking my head for years over the question why I get instantly peace of mind when I put on a skirt.
Many books were read, many sites were visited, and I just couldn’t find the anwser.
Left me with only option: give back this question to society and start wearing skirts in public.

Well, a lot of water had passed under the bridge of Arnhem (you know, from The bridge too Far movie) and nothing really happened.
I did make some bike tours in a skirt, went into shops in a skirt, visited family in a skirt and put a number of pictures taken on Facebook.
A lot of positive reactions were the result.

All I wanted was to get back to society and join in, in stead of isolate myself with my Skirt Desire.
What I got is that I just blend in easily.
Yes, people notice, and that is all.
And yes, it is weird or aberrant.
But wearing holes in your trousers (Current fashion in Holland) is that as well.

A big win is that Mr Oost lost his shame and doesn’t has to hesitate anymore.
Mr Oost has won a world where he can join in, wearing trousers or a skirt.

Mr Oost got to this wisdom based on one book by Alfred Adler, named Menschenkenntnis. (Understanding Human Nature in english)
And of all other books read earlier, of course.
But in this book, everything came together in the chapter about Aggressive Character Traits of no aggressive nature.
Being indecisive or being shy: I never considered this as aggressiveness.

Boom: Adler showed me convincingly that I was pushing away people interested in me.
People who wanna become friends, I turned them down.
People in my club, I did not show up, as I had my Skirt stress once again.
There was some hostility in it indeed.
And he introduced the term Masculine Protest.
I regard this as the desire to be a little less masculine as the masses.
Again: the reason is unknown to me . . .

So this is Mr Oost, a man wearing skirts, pantyhoses and small earrings, in Holland.
I think Mr Oost is a happy men since he turned this corner.
And would have been much more worse of if he hadn’t .

Hope to speak to you soon.
User avatar
Oost
Junior Member
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2016 10:18 pm

Re: Skirts, not clumps in Holland - Introducing Mr Oost

Postby Caultron » Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:40 am

First of all, welcome to the board, Mr. Oost.

As to your dilemma, we've all been there. "I want to wear a skirt, but society says I can't. I'll be laughed at, looked down upon, or worse if I do." Yet, as reaction to your skirted bike tours, shipping, family visits, and Facebook posts prove, society actually doesn't stop you from wearing a skirt, and that they won't treat you badly.

And yet, you still feel you shouldn't.

As you point out, there are lots of people who wear unconventional clothes. Part of that's to get attention, part to be an early adopter of new styles, and some just preference. And society accepts all of those. And they'll accept a man in a skirt just the same way.

You've passed the first hurdle. Some of us have agonized for years before venturing out publicly in a skirt. So congratulations!

Now just keep it up and build your confidence. People will react far worse to cowering and cringing than they do to the actual skirt. Respond to eye contact with a smile. Be friendly. Wish people a good day. Show them you're just a nice person who has fun dressing your own way.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

caultron
User avatar
Caultron
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 4122
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:12 am
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Re: Skirts, not clumps in Holland - Introducing Mr Oost

Postby Oost » Mon Nov 28, 2016 9:39 pm

Thank you for your nice reply.

I just want to share with you as well that for years I shamed myself for having this desire, or even having any desire.
Suffering from indecision was inherent.
But after reading this book, I finally have an answer why I like to wear dresses:
I don't know why. But it just there. It calms me down.

And everytime when people ask me why, everytime I will reply: I don't know . . .
User avatar
Oost
Junior Member
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2016 10:18 pm

Re: Skirts, not clumps in Holland - Introducing Mr Oost

Postby Caultron » Tue Nov 29, 2016 2:02 am

If you can't be yourself, who else can you be?

Because you can never be happy trying to someone else.

And whether this book (or anything else) led you to that conclusion, it's priceless.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

caultron
User avatar
Caultron
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 4122
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:12 am
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Re: Skirts, not clumps in Holland - Introducing Mr Oost

Postby Pdxfashionpioneer » Tue Nov 29, 2016 5:12 am

Hello Mr. Oost,

Welcome to the SkirtCafe!

I second everything Caultron said and want to add one more idea, when people ask you why you wear skirts, just say, "Because I like the way they make me feel." Or "It makes me happy."
David, the PDX Fashion Pioneer

Social norms aren't changed by Congress or Parliament; they're changed by a sufficient number of people ignoring the existing ones and publicly practicing new ones.
User avatar
Pdxfashionpioneer
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 1007
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 6:39 am
Location: Portland, OR, USA

Re: Skirts, not clumps in Holland - Introducing Mr Oost

Postby Milfmog » Tue Nov 29, 2016 7:47 pm

Welcome to our corner of cyberspace Mr Oost.

You look comfortable in the picture and comfort is a great foundation for the confidence that leaves others admiring your look instead of ridiculing it.

Caultron wrote:If you can't be yourself, who else can you be?

Because you can never be happy trying to someone else.

I seem to remember a line in the Hans Christian Anderson tale of Tubby the Tuba which went "be yourself or else you'll always be a nobody". I guess I was about 7 last time I heard that, but I still regard it as good advice.

Have fun,


Ian
Do not argue with idiots; they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Cogito ergo sum - Descartes
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum - Ambrose Bierce
User avatar
Milfmog
Moderator
 
Posts: 2230
Joined: Tue Jul 18, 2006 7:30 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire, UK


Return to Introductions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 1 guest