Hello from London

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squeak24
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Hello from London

Post by squeak24 »

Hi, I stumbled across this website last week when I was looking for some advice. Not 100% certain if this is even the right forum.

I have worn skirts and dresses from a very young age. In fact I can't remember a time when I haven't. I was always told when I was younger "boys don't wear skirts". But it is just me. My family seem to be more accepting now, I think when I was younger they thought it was a phase.

I am not a cross dresser, I am just a bloke who prefers "female clothing" whether skirts, trouser tops, blouses or dresses. It is not necessarily skirts alone, I just prefer female clothes. I have worn skirts in public in the past, but on my own. I have also gone round to friends in skirts, blouses and dresses in the past. Until recently only one person outside family knew, although I think some of my other friends know, just don't say anything. I think I actually have more female clothing in my wardrobe than male. I like A-Line skirts, but can never seem to find any when I go shopping. Most of my clothes are long ankle length straight skirts. I do have a few knee length ones as well as well as trousers and shorts.

In the past twelve months I have told several of my colleagues. They have surprisingly supported this aspect of my life. I would like to start wearing female clothing to work, I get so frustrated when I see women wearing clothes I want to wear. I have discussed with my boss and explained what I want to do, he is happy with how I wish to dress, but suggested easing into it. One of my colleagues has basically told me just to do it and go from there. But I am a little dubious about it. I really want to, but I work in a large organization with probably about a hundred people in my office alone. I am just cautious about what people may think. I guess we are all professionals, very few drunken youths. It's just that first time. I think the biggest fear is getting to work in a skirt or a dress.
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crfriend
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Re: Hello from London

Post by crfriend »

squeak24 wrote:Hi, I stumbled across this website last week when I was looking for some advice. Not 100% certain if this is even the right forum.
Greetings, Squeak, and welcome. The best way to discover if you're a good fit for the forum is to participate. We're a pretty laid-back bunch, and personal tastes wander all over the place, which in my opinion is actually rather healthy.

It sounds like you have some of the big stumbling-blocks out of the way already. Family -- especially wives and significant others ("SO") -- are usually the highest hurdle to vault; good personal friends are second to that; then co-workers; and, lastly, the general public. This is down to those who are closest to you caring enough to worry about the matter, and the intelligent ones who "get it" adapt quite quickly. (You didn't mention whether you were in a relationship or not.)

As far as getting hassled in any major city in the developed world for wearing a skirt that's actually rather unlikely. What you're more likely to get is attention from the act, and that's usually quite pleasant and complimentary, but can be difficult if you're not used to that sort of thing. (Most guys aren't, as it's beaten into us from youth that we need to blend in and be invisible.)

A-line skirts are available, but you may have to look on-line for them as they don't seem to be "in style" at the moment. Give it a while; they'll come back in again as "fashion" is very cyclic. Since they're currently "out", try looking in consignment or thrift shops for second-hand ones that are in decent shape. If you find one that turns out to be unexpectedly ratty but which you like anyway -- and have some skill at sewing -- gently disassemble it and use it as a pattern for a new build.

From the sound of it, work is likely to be a slam-dunk, and, in London, I can't imagine really picking up all that much grief even if you're on the Underground (unless you work in one of the less salubrious quarters, that is -- all cities have them).
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Caultron
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Re: Hello from London

Post by Caultron »

squeak24 wrote:...I have discussed with my boss and explained what I want to do, he is happy with how I wish to dress, but suggested easing into it...
The challenge, then, lies in figuring out what, "easing into it," means.

Like, would that be a skirt, a blouse, shoes, jewelry, or all those, or what? And does it mean (1) all day at work then eight or ten days back to normal, or (2) on a casual day (if the company has those), or (3) traveling to and from work in a skirt, letting people see you as you come and go, but dressing normally during work hours, or (4) something else?

Because once you take the first step, it'll be much easier to decide what to do next, based on what happens.

It it helps, bring some male clothes in your briefcase or backpack, just in case.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

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squeak24
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Re: Hello from London

Post by squeak24 »

Thank you for your speedy responses
crfriend wrote: (You didn't mention whether you were in a relationship or not.)
I'm not in a relationship. I am also disabled which doesn't help matters with that, I have an implanted prosthetic leg. So it looks like I have two legs and the skin and muscle are mine, but the bone is artificial. This makes me feel a little vulnerable. Not from others, it has taken me a few years to come to terms with it.

I work between Central London (Soho - basically the best area to be in) and Bristol. I live just outside the M25 in a small village near Heathrow. It is more the villagers I am concerned about.
crfriend wrote: A-line skirts are available, but you may have to look on-line for them as they don't seem to be "in style" at the moment. Give it a while; they'll come back in again as "fashion" is very cyclic. Since they're currently "out", try looking in consignment or thrift shops for second-hand ones that are in decent shape. If you find one that turns out to be unexpectedly ratty but which you like anyway -- and have some skill at sewing -- gently disassemble it and use it as a pattern for a new build.
I have looked on Amazon, but didn't really think about second hand ones. I am not so good with sewing, when I have needed sewing in the past either my Mum or Sister has done it for me which is a great help.
Caultron wrote: The challenge, then, lies in figuring out what, "easing into it," means.
Where I work at, there is no dress code. Unless your at a meeting with external people, I tend to wear jeans and T-shirts in the Winter and Shorts and T-shirts in the summer. Everyday.

What he suggested was to wear a blouse and slacks initially. But even then, trousers i can do. But the blouse may be more difficult. I rarely wear shirts so it will stand out. The best solution would be a top of some description. Just trying to find something that is suitable.

I have to admit, my boss is largely clueless. It may even be better to discuss it with our HR girl, see what she suggests.

It is getting to the point where I don't really want to wear boring clothes anymore and just want to do it!
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Re: Hello from London

Post by Grok »

Hello, Squeak 24. :D With the description that you provided, I believe that you are a "free styler".
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Caultron
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Re: Hello from London

Post by Caultron »

squeak24 wrote:...What he suggested was to wear a blouse and slacks initially. But even then, trousers i can do. But the blouse may be more difficult. I rarely wear shirts so it will stand out. The best solution would be a top of some description. Just trying to find something that is suitable...
You're going to stand out no matter what you do, the only questions are how much and when.

I'm don't know what kind of blouse you ha e in mind, but with the right style the shock wouldn't be much different than showing up in a men's collared shirt.

Skorts or culottes might be an option, at least initially. Or you could start with shorts over opaque tights, which seems to be an emerging microtrend. Shorts over tights, then skorts over tights, then an actual skirt over tights...

Women's slacks are often quite fitted in the crotch, and might present a problem unless your wear a gaffe. Not sure how you feel about that...

No matter what, I'm sure the first day will be the hardest. It might be easier if you, "warn," a few close associates first -- just tell them it's a flexibility you enjoy or whatever -- but that's obviously up to you. Whatever works.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

caultron
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Re: Hello from London

Post by skirtyscot »

Hello and welcome, squeak24. As you present yourself as a man, rather than trying to pass as a woman, this forum should be the place for you. Looking forward to hearing about how you get on with skirts at work!
Keep on skirting,

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crfriend
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Re: Hello from London

Post by crfriend »

squeak24 wrote:It is more the villagers I am concerned about.
I dwell in what might be construed in the modern world as a village -- a small New England town of about 7,000 inhabitants (I'm not sure where the influx came from, as we used to be about 6,500) -- and I am quite well known about town from wearing my skirts to open Town Meeting from time to time. Villagers can be open to new things if you approach them correctly. Gauge according to what you feel the general "threat level" is, but I believe for most of the civilized world now the threat level to a bloke in a skirt is pretty small.
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Milfmog
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Re: Hello from London

Post by Milfmog »

squeak24 wrote:I live just outside the M25 in a small village near Heathrow. It is more the villagers I am concerned about.
I'm not far from you, currently resident in Bourne End but I used to live on the edge of Colnbrook and have frequently walked, visited pubs and shopped in the area with no particularly remarkable reactions. Folks in this corner of our once green and pleasant land are far too wrapped up in themselves to worry about what others are wearing.

Work may be a very different thing from just being out and about. None of us really know anything about your work environment or colleagues, so it is difficult to offer advice beyond the general statement that being confident in yourself will go a long way towards overcoming any uncertainty in others.

Welcome to our corner of the web and good luck on your journey.

Have fun,


Ian.
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squeak24
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Re: Hello from London

Post by squeak24 »

Thanks for all the kind words of support and advice.

I'm hoping to have a chat with a close friend in the next few days. She doesn't know yet, I have been trying to tell her for a few months now, but whenever we get chance to talk either others are there or it isn't a good time. Maybe see if she wants to go shopping at some point!

My boss took me to one side today to discuss it. He has changed his mind about the "easing" in part of things. He took some advice from HR.

I don't think there will be much of an issue, it is just the worrying about doing it for the first time I guess. Normally when I have gone out in the past it has been when I have been either away on business and no one knows me (although last time I was in York for a meeting, got back to the hotel and I spotted one of my colleagues from a different part of the country at the bar, I did go up to my room to get changed before heading back down, which I wish I hadn't know).

My confidant at work is off sick at the moment. Not sure how long she is due to be off for, but I think I would prefer to wait at the moment until she is back. I know that might sound a little selfish, but I would like to have someone to talk to if needed.

Regarding my work environment, it is a male heavy environment, I am an engineer. Would prefer not to say who I work for.
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Re: Hello from London

Post by Big and Bashful »

Hi,
For A-line skirts and others, I have used denimskirts.com, they have a good choice of skirts, all very well made and the skirts with a front zip zip from the "correct" male side, The only drawback is that the skirts come from the US of A and you tend to get hammered by the taxman as the skirts are imported to this septic isle.
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squeak24
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Re: Hello from London

Post by squeak24 »

I've seen some in John Lewis in the sale. At least I can try them on before buying.

This morning I went out wearing a Jersey Dress, I wore it over a pair of jeans, just around the the high street. Got a few looks, but nothing like what I was expecting. I think I will just try and get comfortable first doing what I want to do and go from there.

:D
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Caultron
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Re: Hello from London

Post by Caultron »

squeak24 wrote:?..Got a few looks, but nothing like what I was expecting. I think I will just try and get comfortable first doing what I want to do and go from there...
Congratulations and you're right: that's exactly what it takes.

People are numbed by constantly-shifting fashions and really don't care much what you wear.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

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Re: Hello from London

Post by TheSkirtedMan »

Hello Squeak24. Welcome to the forum. From the posts above I don't see why you are not suitable for the forum. Crfriend summed it up well in his 1st post to you 14th Jan.

I too prefer to wear what society insists on labeling as womens wear. I prefer it to the drab and dull menswear that is stereotypical labelled by society. I firmly believe that clothing does not define gender, and freedom of choice/expression is open to all not just one specific gender. Especially in this modern era of gender equality. I do not believe in 'cherry picking' for some and denial for others.

I go out and about in clothing as depicted on my web site www.theskirtedman.eu on a regular basis, only work for practical reasons and fell walking. Yes I get a small minority of negativity but never directly at me. The vast majority pass by, and just as many engage in conversation with me as I did when I wore purely societies mens clothes. I get compliments. I didn't in 'mens clothes'.

I live in a rural location, only villages and hamlets. I don't have trouble but I don't doubt many privately question what I do but then don't we all on others.

I'm, sure you will get a lot of support from this forum and I wish you all the best.

Remember, be you. Isn't that what everybody else does!
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squeak24
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Re: Hello from London

Post by squeak24 »

Thank you for your replies, and sorry for the delay in responding. I had some surgery last week so have been out of action a bit.

Well, a major break through came yesterday. Needed to go into Reading (pron Redding for our none English friends) for some shopping. Decided, what the hell, I decided to wear a dress. A little more comfortable, especially at the moment than pants. When I have been at home over the past few days I have solely been wearing skirts.

Went round doing my shopping, no one even noticed. Even kids were walking by without taking a second glance. Parents weren't turning there childs heads. I was a little nervous at first, but I grew in confidence.

I also had some recycling to do, so went up to the recycling area. Saw this rather butch guy up there, I just thought "hmmm, this is going to be fun, I'll wait until he goes" but I never, got out of the car, again, he didn't take a second look. A few others came up whilst I was there, again, nothing.

So on the whole a good day. I just need to get the confidence to do it locally a little more. I am thinking of moving soon.

I have worn skirts in public before where I have been driving and gone from the car to the toilet and back again, this is the first time on day to day stuff that I have been out dressed like that for a prolonged period of time. I have been to gay bars (I am bi, but prefer woman to men) and what have you dressed as a woman, but even that, I don't want to look like a woman, I just want to wear "there" clothes.
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