the letter I just sent to Glen Poole

[paulchiuk]

By way of introduction, here is the letter I just sent to Glen Poole, who works on behalf of MEN AND BOYS.
helpingmenblog.blogspot.co.uk I hope to have a happy time here. Thanks.

Dear Glen

Purely by chance, I discovered you on Linkedin. I saw that you were a professional in the field of helping men and boys, and I was intrigued as to what that meant. That led me to view your blog site and TED talk, and to admire your work and mission.

The expression 'gender inequality' initially caught my eye and prompted me to remember that there was a very specific issue that had long troubled me; vexed me; perplexed me, and that I had invented a means of addressing it; responding to it.

In about 1997 I discovered that wearing long dresses made me feel more relaxed and in tune with myself, whatever that means. I'm a musician, and the metaphor of 'in tune' is very apt for me. From then on I often presented the Healthy Concerts in an attire more traditionally associated with elderly women.

So I was happy, but what did it mean? Did it mean I was Gay? No. Did it mean, as one councillor simply presumed, that I was a woman born in a man's body? No. Did it mean I was mentally ill or had a personality disorder? No, I really don't think so. If a woman wears jeans and a T-shirt does it mean that she has a personality disorder?

When I walk down the street in a frock I imagine that female onlookers are putting two and two together and thinking "Well if I can do that, why not him?", because the reaction is pleasant or even warm. Its the blokes that are more likely to mock, snigger or look puzzled. It seems that the disadvantages and problems men face may be due to their own self limiting concepts.

Of all the conditions of equality and human rights one could think of campaigning for, dressing and fashion freedom for men would seem to be based on a cast iron case of fair play, and certain to result in victory. The clothes needn't be feminine or frock like; sarong, macaawiis, gho, pocket sulu, kimono, kilt, various gowns, and so on, can be gender neutral. Years ago I started a Trouser-Free Concerts group on Yahoo

TROUSER-FREE Concerts Forum - Yahoo Groups
https://groups.yahoo.com/group/trouserfree/

The first subscriber was a high profile Canadian lawyer who identified as a transgendered person (maybe even transexual, I can't remember). In recent years the group is all but dormant. Most contributors have indicated sexual interests and the site is preyed upon by porn merchants. I just press member delete and request subscribers stay on topic, but these aren't 'ordinary' men who understand and relate to what I've actually written.

It would be great if Brighton hosted an annual trouser-free street parade, to be enjoyed by both men and women of all sexual orientations. We need to highlight the impoverishment experienced in a society that reinforces redundant stereotypes and unfairly discriminates against men in the expression of their identity, AND WALK THE TALK; bring the changes in, however many years it takes.

What do you think about this Glen? I'd like your thoughts. Perhaps you'd like to ask me some difficult questions - I'm ready for them.

Yours, with seasonal greetings and good wishes,

Paul Chi

Founder of CreationLace and Healthy Concerts
Currently working in the Creativity in Dementia field.

creationlace.wordpress.com

[neiljerram]

Hi Paul,

I just wanted to respond to your intro by saying hello. I read a lot of your home concerts material and found it interesting, as I'm also an occasional amateur musician, and that's an area of my life where I haven't really yet gone skirted.... I did once wear a skirt to my clarinet and sax group (with no problem at all, except that moisture from the end of the clarinet may fall on the skirt, instead of between the trouser legs as it usually does ), but haven't yet gone anywhere near there with my choir.

Anything - thanks for your intro, and welcome.

[skirtyscot]

Hi Paul,

I'd love to perform in a skirt at one of my choir's concerts, but the forces of trouser tyranny conspire against me. I did manage to do one in a black kilt, but that was a very informal affair and our normal conductor was not waving the baton that day. Still managed to draw some disapproving looks from fellow choristers. (Also one other time, but under robes so not visible to the audience, so it doesn't really count.)

So I'm all in favour of your concept if a trouserless concert. Do let everyone here know when they are on, as you may sell a few more tickets! However as I am 500 miles away, I doubt I'll be going, more's the pity.

Neil, it sounds like you need to stand up to play the clarinet! As for your choir, just turn up at a rehearsal in a skirt, and after a few times nobody will think anything of it. (Well, a few might, but stuff 'em!)