--That is what I figured. In a previous post I mentioned that she wasn't thrilled when she caught me with one of her skirts on. If I remember it right, she tolerated me wearing one for a while though not sure for how long. I don't remember what happened that caused me to stop. That was in the mid 1990s. I will have to come up with a way to bring it up. A Halloween costume would be one way.Sinned wrote: I have found MOH to be my biggest obstacle so you need to tackle your OH first as if she is on your side then most of your troubles are over.
Passing cars turned out to be nothing. There is a park across the street from a high school that has a trail running through it. I walked that trail a couple of days ago at around 4:00 pm or so. There were a few people on bicycles, a jogger and as I was rounding a corner--several high school kids running towards me. I was on the trail and they were on the gravel road that runs along it. I don't know if any of them saw me the first time but I'm sure they did later. I continued walking anyway. Then they all stopped at a point ahead of me along the trail. I stopped at a point too not too far from them--too nervous to continue. I had my cell phone with me and kept playing with it--just to keep my head down--(no confidence there!). I was wearing a hat and sun glasses so they couldn't see my face. I decided to turn around and head back. Then the coach told them to circle around the area I was walking. The roads running through the park split off into several different directions. So the kids had ample chances to see me and say something. I think one girl did say something--"Hi guy"--I'm sure it was directed to me but I was too nervous too respond. Nothing else was said. This is one time I wasn't being very confident. Being confident will certainly come. Probably because I wasn't expecting a whole bunch of kids. But then again, I should expect anything.skirtingtoday wrote:Good stuff! - I bet your heart rate went up when the first car passed! Now that the initial hurdle is over, it really does become easier! Hope the longer trail walk goes well.dpinNE wrote:I did it! I went for a walk on our county highway and didn't hide. I walked about 1/2 mile from home and only three vehicles drove by. I think one of them slowed down or maybe wasn't driving fast in the first place. Anyway I kept on walking. Maybe next time I can go farther (didn't have enough time) or go on one of the trails around this area. A stretch of one of the trails runs parallel to another highway--just about ten feet from it. If I can walk that one then I'm definitely over the being seen part. It also get a fair number of walkers, runners and bicyclists too.
The part that sucked was having to take the skirt off to go get my kids from school.
I always regret having to take off the skirt as well.
Then today I went on the same trail but went farther. I encountered only two people--a jogger and a walker--a lady and a gent. She didn't say anything and he said "How you doing?" to which I responded "Hi". No comments about the skirt yet. Of course it's only a few people.
dpinNE wrote:[...] today I went on the same trail but went farther. I encountered only two people--a jogger and a walker--a lady and a gent. She didn't say anything and he said "How you doing?" to which I responded "Hi". No comments about the skirt yet. Of course it's only a few people.
Good for you and keep at it!
I'm sure your own trepidation is much greater than any negative reaction, if any, you'll receive.
- Member Extraordinaire
- Posts: 2716
- Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2013 8:12 pm
- Location: southeast NC coast
- Member Extraordinaire
- Posts: 3242
- Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:44 pm
- Location: West Kilbride, Ayrshire, Scotland
- Member Extraordinaire
- Posts: 1476
- Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 1:28 pm
- Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
The same will apply to school kids - they are more concerned with their own friends - though I do believe that they are the more likely group to make comment(s) Normally that is confined to just a second look but I have never had any problems or negativity with them. Quite a few will simply smile and give a cheery wave.
Keep up the good work - small steps will become larger ones and all will become easier in due course.
"If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it" - Joseph Goebbels
A few walks ago I wore sunglasses and a hat. The hat was to sort of hide my face if I met anyone as they got closer. The last two times I decided not to wear the hat. The first time I met no one on the trail. The second time was today. So I am starting to get to the point where I don't care if people see my face.
Although, a neighbors kid might have driven by me as I walked yesterday. It was a vehicle like theirs but not for sure. I slowed down has they rounded the corner and came back toward me. There was a tree between us so I'm not sure if they saw me. So I'm not to the point of having my neighbors kids see me yet (if that is who it was). They could see me if I wear one around my acreage.
I play with my cell phone a lot when I see someone coming. I suppose to avoid them until the last minute when I look up to see who they are.
I know a lot of this will disappear when my confidence grows. So far I have mostly only walked on trails and not on busier trails (the one next to a highway) and in the town where I live. Doing that will certainly show that I have gotten over being seen by a lot more people. I'm not there yet. As long as the temperature stays somewhat nice I will continue going out with the skirt on. It will suck when the temperature drops as it will in a few weeks. It would be kind of hard to be seen wearing a skirt when it's much cooler outside. Especially short ones.
I still have to tell MOH. I will probably just tell her when I feel the time is right--when I have confidence that's greater than what I have now.
- Master Barista
- Posts: 11655
- Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
- Location: New England (U.S.)
Offhand, I'd involve her right from the get-go. That's what I did with mine, and it's worked out quite well. If she's going to be non-supportive, or even outright hostile, it's better to get that out into the open early on.dpinNE wrote:I still have to tell MOH. I will probably just tell her when I feel the time is right--when I have confidence that's greater than what I have now.
I am with Carl on this. If you appear to be keeping it secret and she finds out it will look as though you believe it is something to hide and then you have a negative impression to overcome. Far better to be honest, at least about your interest and motivations, from the start.crfriend wrote:Offhand, I'd involve her right from the get-go. That's what I did with mine, and it's worked out quite well. If she's going to be non-supportive, or even outright hostile, it's better to get that out into the open early on.dpinNE wrote:I still have to tell MOH. I will probably just tell her when I feel the time is right--when I have confidence that's greater than what I have now.
Consider the position your other half would be in should a neighbour see you and then say something to her. "Was that your husband I saw wearing a skirt the other day?" could be a bombshell that neither of you need if is a surprise, but if the answer goes back along the lines of "Could have been, he prefers to wear a skirt sometimes, for the sheer comfort" the whole feel of the situation changes instantly.
It may be a cliché, but honesty really is the best policy (most of the time).
Cogito ergo sum - Descartes
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum - Ambrose Bierce
Like I have stated in a previous post, MOH does know I have worn skirts. She found a box of skirts that I had stashed away that I have never found. That has been within the last year so she knows about it but not about my recent skirt wearing. Now I just have to figure out how and when to bring it up.
as far as bringing it out in open. i dont know. it may be best to just be straight up and talk about it. would be better than them finding out by other means. i give you many props for venturing out in public though.i sure want to.
A lot of people would think of the way I'm headed as wanting to be more "feminine" but I don't accept that. I am trying, in my own little corner of the world, to redefine what it means to be masculine or feminine.
dpniNE, I hope you come back on here and tell us how it is going with your wife. My opinion on it, is you should raise the subject directly. It doesn't sit well with me to be indirect like this. The idea that she found your stash and just "disappeared" it, that doesn't sound like a healthy way for things to work. Whether you should be up front, and potentially cause a break up? You know her better than we, but it sounds like you are risking a blow up any way. Better to be up front about it I think. At least that way you can hold your head up high and say you weren't trying to deceive her or keep something hidden. If you are not going that route, I suggest you stop with the outside expeditions. At some point that will come back to her.