Guy from Texas

[jonkara]

Hi there, I've been lurking about these forums for a while. I wear a skirt around the house sometimes and have been looking into getting a few to wear out. It's a little daunting living in one of the more conservative parts of the country. More often than not, I'm embarrassed by the social face of my state. I'm 23, male, but consider myself agendered. I welcome open-minded questions and discussion. This seems like a good community. Thanks for having me.

[crfriend]

It's a little daunting living in one of the more conservative parts of the country. More often than not, I'm embarrassed by the social face of my state.

Much of this may center around where in the state you live. I hear that Austin is fairly open-minded, but that's typical for university/college towns. Texas does, though, tend to get a bad rap in that regard. However, we do have several folks from Texas here, one of whom is a longtime and highly trusted moderator/administrator, so it's not entirely a wasteland.

[Caultron]

It's a little daunting living in one of the more conservative parts of the country. More often than not, I'm embarrassed by the social face of my state.

Your own trepidation is probably a lot stronger than any actual rejection you're likely to experience. Call it self-confidence, call it chutzpah, call it swagger, but that's really the main requirement.

Most people are shell-shocked by all the fashions that've already come and gone, and by what they see in the streets everyday. They really don't care what you wear.

If it helps, go somewhere far from home, where nobody knows you.

If you 're afraid to be seen in a crowd, start out with limited adventures like convenience stores and gas stations.

If you prefer the anonymity of a crowd, consider shopping malls or open air markets.

Consider counter-cultural settings like art districts, comic cons, Renaissance fairs, and tattoo shows.

Don't go anywhere you'd be afraid to go in pants.

[Sarongman]

Welcome to this corner of the cyberspace world. We are a mixed bunch here with one common aim, and that is, to see unbifurcated clothing accepted without a murmur by all. I also live in a conservative corner of Australia and regularly go out skirted---the sky hasn't fallen yet. The best bit of advice is Caultron's

Don't go anywhere you'd be afraid to go in pants.

[skirtyscot]

Hello and welcome, Jonkara!

Your worries are quite normal. Most of us had similar thoughts before we first stepped outside in a skirt. If you've been reading how other guys felt and what they did, hopefully you'll have seen that it gets easier.

What styles of skirts do you wear? Pick a very plain one, one that looks as much as possible like a pair of men's shorts.

If any friends know that you are agender, have you spoken to them about wearing a skirt. Chances are they will be very supportive, and with a bit of luck will be happy to keep you company on a trip to a shopping mall. Having someone with you is great for taking your mind off your skirt. And in a shop, the staff are duty- bound to be pleasant to you!

And remember, 99% of people really don't care what you wear. You're just not that important to them.

Keep on skirting,

Alastair

[Uncle Al]

Hi jonkara and

Yes, it's hard to do - at first, but each time you're out skirted it just
keeps getting better and better and.........

I started out in Kilts - I made my 1st two kilts then purchased a Utilikilt.
Then I found www.stillwaterkilts.com. Their pricing and service is
extremely fantastic. I have been skirted and/or kilted 98% of the time
this summer. Winter is when I do put on the tr**sers

In what part of Texas are you located
I'm in the DFW area

Glad to have you aboard

Uncle Al

[jonkara]

Thanks for the warm welcomes! Right now I only have a long soft cotton pale yellow skirt that I lounge around the house in, which technically belongs to my girlfriend, but I stole it. We're about the same size. Currently, she lives in Austin, and I'm in Houston. I've thought about wearing a skirt out while visiting her there. I'm fortunate in that she's very open-minded and supportive of just about anything I do (so far, anyway ).

My biggest anxiety, I suppose, is trying to explain it to my two closest guy friends, which is probably dumb since one of them I know wears women's clothing sometimes, but that's mostly for his band, I think. I don't even suspect an awkward outcome, but talking about it seems hard. :/

[skirtingtoday]

Hi Jonkara from the other side of the pond!

Good to hear your girlfriend is supportive - many wives of forum members have problems with their other halfs and that includes myself.

There is a thread on here about the "First Time" out in a skirt (I have posted there as well) and you will very quickly realise that the main problem is in your own head as there is negligible reaction from the general public. Most of them are too concerned about their own lives that a man in a skirt is worth no more than a second glance or double-take before it is forgotten in their lives. My own first time was in a place I hardly ever go to (so nobody would know me) and for a short time - it was at a petrol (ie gas) station on a motorway (a road similar to US freeways) It will be nervy that first time but it gets easier the more you wear a skirt outdoors.

Find a skirt that is a neutral shade such as denim, black or khaki and from a distance, it will be very similar to shorts (ie meaning short trousers or as you say pants)

[phathack]

Hi Jonkara,
I live on the other side of the DFW metro area from Uncle Al.
I wear skirts around the house all the time. I have a couple of knee lenght tennis skirts that I have worn on vacation.
My first big outing in a skirt was to Galveston where I meet up with a friend and she showed me around town. We had lunch and stopped in at a local bar for a few drinks. Then I checked into my hotel and went out for a bit to eat. I never heard anyone say anything about my skirt thought I did get a strange look from a casher at the conenicne store while P ipcke up some beer to drink in my hotel room. I spent the whole week traveling texas wearing knee length skirts and no one sad a word about it.

I always attend the local Irish and Scottish festivals wearing a kilt, at those events men in kilts are the norm.

There are a couple of Irish pubs in the area and its not unusual to see men in kilts at these pubs on a Friday or Saturday night.
One last tip, If you own a kilt and wear it to the Tilted Kilt restaurant you first beer is on the house. Free beer and a place that welcomes men in kilts, whats not to like about that.

[dillon]

I live in a place equally as conservative; I choose carefully where I go skirted. Outdoors stuff, park events, the beach, and certain festivals, to which I am naturally inclined anyway, seem the easiest, even when lots of folks are around. Certain evening events where you might expect a more tolerant crowd to attend have also been okay. A few stares; a volunteer ticket taker at Thalian Hall once even told me "I need a skirt like yours"; no biggies so far. Kids are the most likely to say things like "that man is wearing a dress!" (meaning skirt; I have no dresses) but I generally just smile and wave when I hear it.

[Caultron]

dillon, you're off to a great start. Keep it up and keep skirting!

[Ralph]

If you're in Houston you should at least feel safe in Montrose

I'm also in a rural conservative area (after spending most of my life in Houston) and I wouldn't dare show my skirted legs outside my house. Actually I do, but only after dark when the nearest neighbors (1/4 mile away) can't see me carrying the trash out to the dumpster.

[Caultron]

Why? What do you think is going to happen?

I take it you publicly wore skirts in Houston; is that right? And if so, how was that different?

[skirtyscot]

What is it about conservative little towns that makes guys think that something bad will happen to them if the go out in a skirt? Dillon is far from the first to express this worry. Surely in a conservative place you are most likely to get a conservative response, like nothing at all or looking away.

Once word gets round - as it surely will if you are the most interesting thing to happen in 5 years - then nobody will be surprised by your skirts. Then the battle is won!

[crfriend]

What is it about conservative little towns that makes guys think that something bad will happen to them if the go out in a skirt?

What we have here is perhaps a misunderstanding of what the word "conservative" has come to mean in the modern US of A.

In the elder context, the term "conservative" used to imply a natural tendency to avoid change where change was not clearly required, and this view encompassed pretty much the spectrum of life. Someone with a conservative bent might look askance at something dramatically new (e.g. men no longer wearing hats out of doors) but would not usually cause a problem. However, such a type might well recognize a social injustice, or an obsolete holdover, and accept -- or even push for -- change.

In the new context, "conservative" has taken on a much more virulent aspect and can be considered more "reactionary" than anything else. The "modern conservative" (some call the movement "neo-conservatism") is much more vocal, and, sadly, sometimes violent than the classical type. The "new" version rejects out-of-hand anything that is outside the narrow mind-view that the individual in question holds, and this is what makes them sometimes dangerous. The modern "conservative" is as likely to either issue a physical "smack-down" to individuals whose behavior does not emulate his own, or to legislate means to suppress those behaviors.

Dillon is far from the first to express this worry. Surely in a conservative place you are most likely to get a conservative response, like nothing at all or looking away.

It depends in what type of "conservative" place you're in -- and, more importantly, how intrinsically violent the place is. If Dillon is in a "classically" conservative part of the world, then his example might shine a light on things and get the classically-minded conservatives to change their minds; however, if he's in an ideologically-driven "neo-conservative" environment there's not a shred of hope for that -- those folks' minds are already made up, and they're not about the change their minds.

Once word gets round - as it surely will if you are the most interesting thing to happen in 5 years - then nobody will be surprised by your skirts. Then the battle is won!

In an ideal world, yes, that would be the case. Sadly, much of the world is not ideal.