Guy from Texas

[dillon]

IMHO, as I mount my soapbox, offering apology in advance, the revival of social conservatism is our country's greatest illness, and culturally embodies the pettiness that lies to some extent in us all. The need to look down one's nose at another is part of the nature of human insecurity. It is the forces that exploit our insecurities, and the consequences of that power, that vary between the rural "heartland" and the metropolitan parts of this country. And while I would love to believe that it is a last death rattle of the old guard in America, it sure doesn't look like it from the POV of a rural southerner.

The rural south has had for ages the same mental disease that now infects the US Congress, i.e. the need to be "holier than thou" for the pompous Evangelicals, and "more conservative than thou" for the politicians. The disease is malignant and progressive. The single enduring accomplishment of the Tea Party, like a flag atop a mountain of failure, is making a large segment of Americans comfortable with their prejudices. Despite its claims about concern over big government and personal freedom, the heart of their social agenda is promoting an unstated theocracy. This happens by legislation where they are able, but more often simply by screaming louder and more fervently that those of us who once believed that society would gravitate toward reason and compassion.

Theocracy in the south is often legislated, but more often simply an unspoken and unwritten poison; it seeped into the fabric of our society long ago. When neighbor fears neighbor, when rational men suppress their natural callings, then theocracy has prevailed. It may come by hook or by crook, by legislation or by collective social pressure, but the effects are the same.

With ordinary politics, of course, there is always that margin of doubt, the space for compromise and for seeing another point of view. But in a society steeped in insidious and invisible theocracy, all decisions take on the essence of infallibility, as the self-righteous proclaim their deeds and beliefs as steered by the hand of the Almighty. It doesn't take much to understand that any extent of censorship, ostracism, and oppression then becomes justifiable and conceivable. And of course, there are always vultures waiting in the form of spineless politicians quick to exploit ideology that is being spoon-fed over the right-wing airways to those for whom reasoning is simply too much effort, those who crave constant reinforcement of belief, lest a shade of gray slip into the black and white reality they prefer. When unquestioned belief consistently triumphs over reason, have we cause to hope?

That sums up the society we face in this half of the country...one that has become even more vicious in just the years that I have corresponded here. But I digress.

The basic reason we don't skirt aggressively in small-town America is much deeper, and emotionally complicated. In a small town, there are long established family legacies. People have to deal with each other. People have to do business. And the expectations of behavior and decorum, no matter how hurtful and repressive we find them, color the fabric of the society. So for us, it becomes a matter of whether we behave in a way that may negatively affect those we love, respect, and care about...and who may not understand our longings any more than the others, or whether we put ourselves first and alienate many whom we dearly value. It is not an easy or clear cut matter, but part of our socialization is self-sacrifice for the sake of others. And for us, that means being careful what we wear, say or do, and where we do it, or in extremes, even closeted about it.

While those of you from more progressive and tolerant worlds may assert that we need to stand up and be the leaders in the region, and crusade for equality and tolerance, it simply points up the fact that you just don't know the people we are dealing with, or understand the impact of our choices on our lives and our own emotional constitution. So, before castigating us for our reluctance to be public with our desires, please remember: even the Great Crusades ultimately failed...

[skirtyscot]

Hey, guys, I wasn't planning to emigrate to rural USA, so there's no need to try to put me off!

Small town Scotland really doesn't seem to mind my skirts. The biggest worry was that my children might bear the brunt of people's negativity, but that has hardly happened at all. And I don't have wider family to bother about here.

Maybe you should move to somewhere a little more tolerant. Social change rarely starts out in the sticks. You could try Scotland, if you have a decent waterproof!

[crfriend]

Theocracy in the south is often legislated, but more often simply an unspoken and unwritten poison; it seeped into the fabric of our society long ago. When neighbor fears neighbor, when rational men suppress their natural callings, then theocracy has prevailed. It may come by hook or by crook, by legislation or by collective social pressure, but the effects are the same.

Dang! Send this man to Washington (DC (District of Columbia, not "Direct Current")); the US needs more minds like this.

I'm well known for having a nasty tongue, and an even nastier pen, but Dillon's piece nails the treatise to the door more forcefully than Martin Luther ever could have.

The basic reason we don't skirt aggressively in small-town America is much deeper, and emotionally complicated. In a small town, there are long established family legacies. People have to deal with each other. People have to do business. And the expectations of behavior and decorum, no matter how hurtful and repressive we find them, color the fabric of the society.

Much of this is dependent, and necessarily so, on the culture of the region in question. I live in a small town in New England with about 6,000 citizens. I wear my skirts proudly and am well known and somewhat respected in the community (and certainly recognized). So, it's not a question of the population of the town, it's more down to the size of the minds therein.

While those of you from more progressive and tolerant worlds may assert that we need to stand up and be the leaders in the region, and crusade for equality and tolerance, it simply points up the fact that you just don't know the people we are dealing with, or understand the impact of our choices on our lives and our own emotional constitution. So, before castigating us for our reluctance to be public with our desires, please remember: even the Great Crusades ultimately failed...

I rather suspect that even the densest of us here {waves!} "get that", but without pioneers at the vanguard nothing will ever happen. I'm not saying, "take a bullet for the team!" -- quite the opposite, actually, as there are ways to broaden minds besides an "in your face" display. Would even "small-town" "deep South" folks be overtly opposed to an outright kilt for instance?

[Wesley]

... The need to look down one's nose at another is part of the nature of human insecurity.
... I would love to believe that it is a last death rattle of the old guard in America...
...we need to stand up and be the leaders in the region, and crusade for equality and tolerance...
...you just don't know the people we are dealing with, or understand the impact of our choices on our lives and our own

While the membership of this forum may be overwhelmingly liberal, I'm just not comfortable with this sort of post that looks down its nose in such an intolerant fashion expressing a death wish for people at whom, I would expect, most people on this forum don't deal with or understand.

Just saying.

[skirtyscot]

I see no death wish. Rather, a hope that certain attitudes are dying out.

[crfriend]

I didn't read any "death wish" into the post, either, and if I had I would likely have stepped on it or issued some stern commentary. What came through, to this reader, in the post was a rather fervent hope -- an optimism even -- that old thinking will be slowly left behind and the actual decrease in intolerance that will happen with that change.

[dillon]

I will try to stay off my soapbox in the future, and I didn't really want to imply that typical southerners are all hateful and petty. They are in general wonderful and generous people. But there is a very evangelical culture here, and just enough people ready to exploit differences in pious condemnation. It is not easy to be a boat rocker in this environment. Still, I regard the south as home, and the place I belong.

[Wesley]

I will try to stay off my soapbox in the future, and I didn't really want to imply that typical southerners are all hateful and petty. They are in general wonderful and generous people. But there is a very evangelical culture here, and just enough people ready to exploit differences in pious condemnation. It is not easy to be a boat rocker in this environment. Still, I regard the south as home, and the place I belong.

In all sincerity, was what you said from your soapbox any less "pious" or even intolerant than the what evangelical say from their pulpits?

I used to go to a church where one brother would often remind me to heed the three fingers pointing back at myself whenever I pointed my finger at someone else.

That's all.

[crfriend]

In all sincerity, was what you said from your soapbox any less "pious" or even intolerant than the what evangelical say from their pulpits?

There's a subtle difference between making an observation and a damnation, and I believe that Dillon's commentary was more of the former than the latter -- especially as he admits that he's at home in, and belongs in, the Southern (US) culture.

I used to go to a church where one brother would often remind me to heed the three fingers pointing back at myself whenever I pointed my finger at someone else.

Those are, indeed, wise words to heed, and should serve to mould the form of opinions that one expresses.

I am certainly not in a position, either of power or "moral stature" to judge others on their behaviours or beliefs; however, when those self-same individuals attempt to use (or succeed in using!) the power and majesty of the State to further their own ends to compel others to adhere to their will it crosses a boundary that should not be crossed. At that point, righteous indignation is not only warranted, but demanded! That's the basis of freedom, after all.

I have commented more than once that the only difference between the American Taleban and those in the various "*stans" around the world is that ours wear neckties. This is not about "religious righteousness", whatever that might be -- it's all about power and control. Compelling those who do not think the same way to think the same way, or be eliminated. If there is even the slightest shred of evidence that the Southern Baptist Conference (to pick on just one) isn't trying to achieve absolute dominion (and, yes, I picked that word carefully) over the United States of America (and the world) I'd like to see it. Observed behaviours are vastly more compelling than rhetoric, and the behaviours of certain groups speak volumes.

[Milfmog]

I will try to stay off my soapbox in the future, and I didn't really want to imply that typical southerners are all hateful and petty. They are in general wonderful and generous people. But there is a very evangelical culture here, and just enough people ready to exploit differences in pious condemnation. It is not easy to be a boat rocker in this environment. Still, I regard the south as home, and the place I belong.

In all sincerity, was what you said from your soapbox any less "pious" or even intolerant than the what evangelical say from their pulpits?

In all honesty, Wesley, I feel that Dhillons words are a firmly held opinion and are presented as such. They are not presented as "fact" or (worse) as "unassailable truth". From my perspective, that difference means that Dhillon's post is a world away from the pious or intolerant rantings we hear from politicians and leaders of many persuasions.

Have fun,


Ian.

[Grok]

So, in some areas-in effect-Trousers Tyranny is even more rigid?

[crfriend]

So, in some areas-in effect-Trousers Tyranny is even more rigid?

Indeed it is, but the issue is broader that simply that, it's a problem where there is little tolerance for anything that is even perceived as being different from the local "world view".

[Grok]

"...little tolerance for anything..." I see that as being the plight of males in general. We are expected to conform to a very rigid sex role.

[crfriend]

"...little tolerance for anything..." I see that as being the plight of males in general. We are expected to conform to a very rigid sex role.

Well, we only have ourselves to blame for that. However, the core issue addressed by Dillon above is one of amazing generality and encompasses not just men, but women too -- and the way that the entire local culture is expected to operate, and the consequences from straying off the prescribed path whether those consequences be written or unwritten, spoken or unspoken. The net result is very little latitude for an individual to express any individuality.