Skirting in Seattle

[skirtingseattle]

My name is C-r-s and I will be 49 by the end of the year (2010). I am an American of mixed northern European stock (English, Irish, Danish, and German), but spent many of my formative years living overseas in both Southeast Asia and Southern Europe. I am not religious or provincial as my early experiences with different cultures have made me quite cosmopolitan and socially and politically liberal. With my wife of 20 years, we have lived in Asia and Africa and have traveled extensively in many countries, and I am quite aware of the fact that over 1 billion men worldwide wear skirts and dresses. In my many travels I have worn the lungi in Bangladesh and the dhoti in India (the Mundu in southern India), the sarong in Sri Lanka and Indonesia, and the yukata in Japan. At the time for me it was experiencing foreign cultures and they were novel experiences.

At university I studied Anthropology at the graduate level as I had always been a student of human behavior. I had always prided myself on a dispassionate analysis of the human condition in my pursuit of understanding cultural variability. I have always known about variety in biological forms and behavior and I accepted it as a truism to be understood and accounted for in any comprehensive understanding of humanity. A scientific investigator understands normative behavior but he or she must also understand the variability and range of variants of the behavior under investigation. My intellectual and academic preparation to understand the behavior of others in the aggregate, however, was insufficient in helping me to understand my own non-normative behavior in wearing women's skirts.

In 2007 in Seattle, a number of local companies were very successful in creating non-tartan kilts for everyday use and it was not unusual to see a man wearing one of these every few weeks downtown (this is still true in 2010). I even knew two people who bought and wore these utilitarian kilts about town, mostly for leisure and not work. At the time, I had only a passing interest in wearing a kilt, but I did have an interest in something else. I found myself perusing the women's section of various clothing stores one day in the summer of 2007 looking for mini-skirts, picking up what I thought were about the right sizes for me off the rack, and heading for the changing rooms to see how I looked. At the time, there was no cognitive dissonance in what I saw in the mirror. It was a few months later that I bought my first mini-skirt.

Prior to this, I had two experiences wearing women's clothing in my teens. The nature of the first experience was one of curiosity, and the second was one of daring. Over 25 years separated these earlier cases and the events of 2007. That year and the next were ones in which I did question my self identity, my gender orientation, and my sexual orientation trying to be as open and as honest with myself and my wife. Although I did not then, and still have not now, come up with all the final answers to the questions that my wife and I had, I can say that having gone through that process of self-discovery I am sure that I am not gay and that I don't want to be a woman. I know that I am a heterosexual male that loves his wife and who also likes to wear skirts.

During that period of self-discovery before my wife found out, for a few weeks I had gone through the whole gamut of full women's clothes from head-to-toe including shoes, but nothing synched. I never had a desire for makeup or a wig or any kind of prosthetic device. Looking at myself in the mirror produced a reaction of non-recognition. Then one night, when my wife was out of town, I bought my first mini-skirt (navy blue denim) at one of the discount clothes stores for $5.00 and took it home. It was the fall but still warm outside, and I had gone out shopping in a pair of shorts, tee shirt, running shoes, and a windbreaker jacket. When I returned, I simply took off my shorts and put on the mini-skirt and looked in the mirror. I liked what I saw but wanted to make a few changes; a different and sportier jacket, a newer pair of running shoes, and new white sports socks. When I was satisfied with this look (like I was ready for the tennis court), I jumped into the car with no hesitation and went back out for three hours of shopping. It seemed just so natural and right, and I only felt self-conscious the first 5 minutes. I saw hundreds of people at the time in the various establishments, but honestly I don't think many even took notice of me.

I went out again a half dozen times over the next 2 months before my wife discovered the skirt I had placed in one of my dresser drawers for her to find. After that first night, I knew that this issue was something that I would have to discuss with her, but never got the courage up to talk to her about it. I just didn't know how she would react. The day she found out I didn't know if she was going to just walk out of the relationship. Things were rough and a little tense for a few months as I understood that this change in me had caused a shift in her self-identity that threaten how she saw herself. This realization of what she was going through helped me to help both of us through a rocky period to one of greater understanding.

It's been almost 3 years that my wife and I have been working on our relationship and in a way the skirt has renewed our sense of connectedness and love for each other because we are closer. We no longer take our relationship for granted, and we work on it more than we ever have. I do wear a mini-skirt once or twice a week around the house, but I haven't worn a skirt outside since the revelation to my wife. I am hoping one day to be able to enjoy that privilege away from the possible censure of friends, co-workers, or neighbors, but that time isn't just yet.

I am comfortable with who I am and the fact that I am a male who likes to wear skirts.

C-

[ethelthefrog]

Welcome aboard. I think we've all gone through something similar in terms of accepting ourselves in skirts and, most of us at least, have had some interesting times with our loved ones too. Glad to hear that the outcome was quite so positive.

Paul.

[Kilted_John]

Welcome to the forum from another Seattle area member. With respect to Utilikilts, the company was actually started in 2000. Worked for them in the summer of 2005.

-J

[Uncle Al]

Uncle Al