Introduction from a newbie

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EddieJ
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Introduction from a newbie

Post by EddieJ »

A brief introduction. I am a UK university student. 18 years old. Studying mathematics. I’ve long had an interest in wearing skirts, but felt rather embarrassed and guilty about it. A few months ago I stumbled on some of the men-in-skirts forums online. This gave me some extra confidence, and started to reevaluate my feelings -- it’s not wrong for me to want to wear skirts, just unusual. A member here suggested I join and introduce myself.

I’m having a great struggle getting over a the hump of actually putting on a skirt in public. I can see, from reports here, that some guys do get out and about wearing skirts, It can be done successfully. However, I struggle to get over the fear that the world will end if someone sees me wearing a skirt. I realize this is wrong, and irrational, but I am yet to get past this fear.

I suspect that once I’ve done it a few times, it will not seem like a big deal.

Can anyone give me some hints or tips to get over this fear. Or do I just have to brass it out?

Eddie.
Last edited by EddieJ on Wed Feb 24, 2010 8:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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crfriend
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Re: Introducton from a newbie

Post by crfriend »

Welcome aboard, Eddie! Here you'll find a rather eclectic crowd bound together by a desire to buck the trend of "men can only wear trousers". I think this is a good thing.

> I suspect that once I’ve done it a few times, it will not seem like a big deal.
>
> Can anyone give me some hints or tips to get over this fear. Or do I just have to brass it out?

"Brassing it out" is, from my experience, the best way to conquer the (as you point out, irrational) initial fear that shoving on a skirt might cause. It's a "trial by fire" exercise. Fortunately, unless you live in a really tough or backward area, it's not one that's likely to get one injured.

Before sallying forth unto the world, though, I'd advise developing a reasonably clear picture in your mind of the look you want to portray to others and how you want to execute it; that notion will help you with your confidence in your chosen look, and it's your confidence that will show through and deflect possible detractors.

Good luck with your choices, and, again, welcome!
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Uncle Al
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Re: Introducton from a newbie

Post by Uncle Al »

:welcome:

Yes, it's hard to do the first time.
:? You want to put on a skirt in public :?: :?
I prefer to put one on in private, then go out into the public :lol:

Since you're a university student, and not sure how the others
on campus will react to your choice of attire, you may want to
go to another location - such as a shopping mall. Then go into
the bathroom, change into your skirt, and walk about proud as
a peacock. Forget the other people around you. Look for something
at one of the stores, or just window shop. Who cares! This way
will help you to 'get over the hump' so to speak. Then try this
on campus at an 'event'(you choose the event). The people
there will be interested in what is going on at the event and not
what you're wearing.

You will find that your 'skirting' is a non-event. You may get a
few of the ladies interested in you as well. :D

Just a suggestion, but it works quite well 99.44% of the time :mrgreen:

Good Luck :!:

Uncle Al
:mrgreen: 8) :mrgreen:
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Grand Musician of the Grand Lodge, I.O.O.F. of Texas 2008-2009, 2015-2016,
2018-202 ? (and the beat goes on ;) )
When asked 'Why the Kilt?'
I respond-The why is F.T.H.O.I. (For The H--- Of It)
ChrisM
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Re: Introduction from a newbie

Post by ChrisM »

Welcome Eddie.

Well, let's put it this way: I am a University Professor and I have worn skirts to lecture in. (I am a lecturer in Engineering.)

Yes, you get odd looks. If you're lucky, you'll get intelligent questions. But you won't get kicked out of school (or in my case fired.)

You might like to search this forum for various chaps' stories of their skirted outings. Search on my posts, for example, and you will find several.

Welcome aboard.
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RichardA
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Re: Introduction from a newbie

Post by RichardA »

Hi & :welcome: I think it all depends on where you are and which city/towns you visit, I live in a small village and some of the kids have taken the piss out of me when I'm wearing a tartan kilt, yet I can go shopping in a supermarket and no one even takes notice what your wearing and I think this would be the same in a large city.
Today 99% of people are too wrapped up in themselves to notice what your wearing and it would help if your friends were with you to give you support. All the best for the future
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Re: Introduction from a newbie

Post by Since1982 »

:welcome: :welcome:
I had to remove this signature as it was being used on Twitter. This is my OPINION, you NEEDN'T AGREE.

Story of Life, Perspire, Expire, Funeral Pyre!
I've been skirted part time since 1972 and full time since 2005. http://skirts4men.myfreeforum.org/
EddieJ
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Re: Introduction from a newbie

Post by EddieJ »

Thank you all for your warm welcome, and taking the time to give me your suggestions.
EddieJ
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Re: Introducton from a newbie

Post by EddieJ »

Thank you for your comments, crfriend.
crfriend wrote:Fortunately, unless you live in a really tough or backward area, it's not one that's likely to get one injured.
I've no fear about getting injured. I feel pretty safe at university.
crfriend wrote:Before sallying forth unto the world, though, I'd advise developing a reasonably clear picture in your mind of the look you want to portray to others and how you want to execute it; that notion will help you with your confidence in your chosen look, and it's your confidence that will show through and deflect possible detractors.
An interesting recommendation. I think I understand what you are saying, but am not sure what the answer is precisely. Some things are easy to say --- I don't want to look like a drag queen. But, other decisions are hard -- I don't know what looks will look good on me, nor what will feel comfortable. I don't have a lot of experience to base this on. It is easy to fall back to tartan kilts, but I am not sure that is quite the look I prefer.

I tend to feel I might need to experiment a bit, make a few mistakes, before I know the precise answer to that.

Ed
EddieJ
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Re: Introducton from a newbie

Post by EddieJ »

Uncle Al wrote:Since you're a university student, and not sure how the others on campus will react to your choice of attire, you may want to go to another location - such as a shopping mall.
Thank you for your welcome, Uncle Al.

I feel comfortable on campus, so it never really occurred to me to go off-campus to have a trial run. That's an interesting idea.

Campus life is, perhaps, a little special in that students are expected to get up to antics. And get teased for it. I'm not sure I'd ever have enough confidence to deflect the playful teasing I'll get. That will only change once I wear enough that people get bored at teasing me, and notice that I don't react to it.

Ed
EddieJ
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Re: Introduction from a newbie

Post by EddieJ »

ChrisM wrote:Well, let's put it this way: I am a University Professor and I have worn skirts to lecture in. (I am a lecturer in Engineering.)

Yes, you get odd looks. If you're lucky, you'll get intelligent questions. But you won't get kicked out of school (or in my case fired.).
Thanks for the information. This certainly gives me a confidence boost.

I know I won't get kicked out. I know I won't get beaten up. I'll get teased, but know it'll be playful, and friendly. I know the world won't end, but fear can be irrational!

I'll get there. Just need to kick myself into action.

Ed
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crfriend
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Re: Introducton from a newbie

Post by crfriend »

EddieJ wrote:I think I understand what you are saying, but am not sure what the answer is precisely.
As always, the Devil is in the details. Of course you don't want to look like a drag queen, but the "drag queen look" is usually forced -- in an obvious way -- and is clearly costume, so it should be easy enough to avoid if one naturally eschews costume.

From personal experience, I have found that the looks that seem to work best are functional ones that are close to what your own personal sense of style -- your aesthetic -- is and one that you are comfortable in, both physically and psychologically. This has led me down a path with will highly likely be different from yours, which is a good thing.

At the moment, all we have as reference points for skirts on guys is what shows up on assorted runways and the styles that are accepted in the parts of the world where skirted garments on men are already accepted. Personally, I find most of the runway looks positively ghastly -- at least in the context of my own sense of style -- and I tend to find many of the "other-culture" looks either boring or slightly dowdy. I'll take the time to state, again, that that is my personal opinion and you are absolutely free to disagree with that: there are no "right answers" here.
EddieJ wrote: [... O]ther decisions are hard -- I don't know what looks will look good on me, nor what will feel comfortable. I don't have a lot of experience to base this on. It is easy to fall back to tartan kilts, but I am not sure that is quite the look I prefer.
It seems that you already have a decent understanding of how to go about the process of experimentation because you already have a "fallback" position in mind! I suspect the first area to explore is what sorts of looks you already cultivate when wearing trousers. If you already have a well-developed personal style, then finding kilts or skirts to fit that will be comparatively easy. You'll also be likely to find that as you close in on some elements that those will tend to "drive" others.

As a data-point, my personal aesthetic is one of subdued semi-formality and I seem to gravitate toward looks that reflect that. I make extensive use of waistcoats, both when wearing trousers and skirts, dress shirts -- preferably with full sleeves (I am contemplating getting some custom-done), and dress shoes. The above tends to drive my selection of skirt styles, and for the most part they're on the long and full size. Miniskirts just look wrong with such other elements (they make me look top-heavy).
I tend to feel I might need to experiment a bit, make a few mistakes, before I know the precise answer to that.
If you don't already have a true sense of your own "style" then experimentation is definitely required, but be prepared to fail now and then. Heaven knows that I've done that more than a few times! But take the failures as object lessons as to what elements to not combine well rather than tossing the notion of skirts altogether. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, "Skirts work on guys, and they work well." The only caveat to that is that the guy who's wearing them cannot be uncomfortable in his rig because that discomfort will come across as a lack of confidence. It's really the confidence that's the key to pulling such "an odd look" off in public; if you do not show that you're apprehensive about wearing a skirt, you will project that to onlookers.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
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Uncle Al
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Re: Introduction from a newbie

Post by Uncle Al »

A personal experience - - - - - -

The first time I wore a kilt, I was emotionally higher than a kite :!:
I kept wondering 'what other folks would say'.....Then we went to
a large shopping mall. It was really crowded that day. Soon I was
worrying about getting through the crowd, staying with my wife,
and looking for the specific shops we wanted to get too.
I completely forgot about the kilt. Then, in one of the shops, a lady
said that she was Scottish and she enjoyed seeing a man wearing a
kilt. (My confidence factor just went up.) We had a good talk and
moved on to the next shop. By the time we were ready to leave, I
probably had 25-30 compliments on my kilt. Mostly from the ladies,
but I'd say about 30% were from the men.

On another trip to our local Wal-Mart, a group of High School to
Jr College kids all gave me the 'Thumbs-Up' and one of the girls
said - loud enough for her friends to hear - 'Cool Kilt' :!:

These experiences really 'made-my-day' :mrgreen:

As you can tell from my experiences, you will soon forget you're
wearing a kilt/skirt because you're going about your normal business.
Your mind is on your 'project or goal' not on what others think/say.
Therefore you're actions depict a confident person and not a
'Wall Flower' 8)

Enjoy your day :!:

Uncle Al
:mrgreen: 8) :mrgreen:
Kilted Organist/Musician
Grand Musician of the Grand Lodge, I.O.O.F. of Texas 2008-2009, 2015-2016,
2018-202 ? (and the beat goes on ;) )
When asked 'Why the Kilt?'
I respond-The why is F.T.H.O.I. (For The H--- Of It)
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rick401r
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Re: Introduction from a newbie

Post by rick401r »

In warmer weather I am almost always wearing a tee shirt, cargo shorts, and sandals. I've found substituting a kilt or or a denim skirt for the shorts draws little, if any attention. In fact, the denim skirt was less noticable than a kilt.
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nicothoe
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Re: Introduction from a newbie

Post by nicothoe »

My first public appearances in a skirt were in the company of my girlfriend, who wasn't just supportive, but down right encouraging. For me, that made a huge difference - having someone by my side to give me the confidence in myself. What was harder was running out on errands all by myself.

The first thing everyone has to do is feel right in a skirt - to see yourself in a mirror and immediately think, "damn, I look pretty good." Initially, I would wear a skirts around the house, and occasionally keep it on when driving to my girlfriend's place. Yes, no one was going to see me in a car, but it was a start. Sometimes I would need to fill up the tank, and that would mean stepping out of the car. Eventually I moved up to popping in to the grocery store to pick up a few items.

Now I actually enjoy wearing a skirt. Last month, the wife and I went to a taping of the radio "Wait Wait Don't tell me" in downtown Chicago, and it was fun having my long skirt blow about in the wind.
Be Bold. Be Skirted.
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