Why Men Stopped Wearing Skirts

[Coder]

The problem with the above exchange is that it shows what the dynamic is when one is using rational thought and the other is using emotion. Progress is impossible. He's worried about equal rights and what's right and wrong from an ethical angle. She's worried about whether "Her Man" is going to continue to provide for Her and pay proper attention to Her. It becomes a matter that delves into the Hierarchy of Needs at that point and she gets frightened.

I noticed that too - how does one bridge the communication gap then? If logical argument's don't work, what kind of emotional arguments will? If someone is emotionally set on "you will change and leave me", how does one reassure them? I don't think simply wearing a skirt as a "normal" bloke is enough. Talk is necessary, but it isn't action. What kind of actions can be taken to prove you are the same person?

[crfriend]

[... H]ow does one bridge the communication gap then? If logical argument's don't work, what kind of emotional arguments will? If someone is emotionally set on "you will change and leave me", how does one reassure them?

Well, I'm going to attempt an experiment with my lady-friend from "Down South" this evening if all goes well -- in an emotional discussion where I'm going to put rational thought aside. We shall see how it goes. It'll be a first for me because usually rational thought and logic prevail in my world.

[Barleymower]

What you are seeing is your wife attempts to explain that in the society in which we live it is not accepted for men to wear skirts.

Also for her at least, the wearing of the garment bears no great relevance.

Essentially she is being selfish. Your happiness is less important to her than how she is perceived at your side and the embarrassment she will feel if she is with you, you in a skirt.

Her argument is more effectively defeated by not entering into a tit for tat exchange. Instead I would argue that women have taken by force the right to dress as they choose. You and other men are fighting for the same right. In the same way that noone can pass comment on her womanhood, your manhood is yours and yours alone. It is not up discussion, for others to decide.

Agreed it us not acceptable for men to wear skirts in our society. So what!

Here are a few thought processes between me and my wife.
Me: men wear skirts in other parts of the world.
Wife: we do not live in the other parts of the world

Me: there's kilts
Wife: this isn't Scotland, you're not Scottish enough

Me: men wore skirt like garments in the past history.
Wife: this isn't the past. And we are not historians.

Me: skirts are comfortable, I like wearing them
Wife: skirts are uncomfortable, I only wear them if I want or the occasion calls for it.

Me: showed her the Brad Pitt pictures
Wife: that's Hollywood, we know that they are doing it for shock, likes, tweets, out of touch with the real world.

[Coder]

Agreed it us not acceptable for men to wear skirts in our society. So what!

Although I have a lot of fears, we should try to "rewrite" our brains based on the lack of negative public reaction, as well as knowing in our hearts "clothes are just clothes". It is acceptable - just not common in the west.

[crfriend]

Although I have a lot of fears, we should try to "rewrite" our brains based on the lack of negative public reaction, as well as knowing in our hearts "clothes are just clothes". It is acceptable - just not common in the west.

Doing this will be quite a bit more difficult than you might at first imagine. Recall that men have emotional responses, too, and to overlook that facet is somewhat perilous.

[Jim]

Although I have a lot of fears, we should try to "rewrite" our brains based on the lack of negative public reaction, as well as knowing in our hearts "clothes are just clothes". It is acceptable - just not common in the west.

Doing this will be quite a bit more difficult than you might at first imagine. Recall that men have emotional responses, too, and to overlook that facet is somewhat perilous.

I don't think it would be all that difficult for many. I didn't worry about it for long after seeing no reaction. A parallel situation arises for those who try nudism. People are afraid and worried about reactions for a few minutes but it very quickly becomes normal. It is often surprisingly quick to rewrite our brain's emotional reactions.

[Ozdelights]

Yes we all can rewrite the brain. Every step, every experience, every day makes you feel more comfortable but emotion comes to the fore when you get a negative reaction. Learning to get over that and keep moving on is the aim. I still have a long way to go but every day, every step feels right.

[STEVIE]

Agreed it us not acceptable for men to wear skirts in our society. So what!

So that is the reason that most men won't even try wearing a skirt or a dress.
In a discussion on the subject, I was having with a young male colleague he told me something interesting.
He reckons that his girlfriend would actually approve which is quite something.
However, the very idea of other reactions still prevent him taking that step.
This coming from highly articulate and intelligent young man.
Fear, no matter how groundless, is a very powerful emotion!
Steve.

[Barleymower]

Although I have a lot of fears, we should try to "rewrite" our brains based on the lack of negative public reaction, as well as knowing in our hearts "clothes are just clothes". It is acceptable - just not common in the west.

Doing this will be quite a bit more difficult than you might at first imagine. Recall that men have emotional responses, too, and to overlook that facet is somewhat perilous.

I don't think it would be all that difficult for many. I didn't worry about it for long after seeing no reaction. A parallel situation arises for those who try nudism. People are afraid and worried about reactions for a few minutes but it very quickly becomes normal. It is often surprisingly quick to rewrite our brain's emotional reactions.

Have we then established that this is an emotional issue for men? Honestly, I'm prepared to stand up and say it is a an emotional issue. Again so what? My Dad is enormous and on the quiet he cries sometimes, not afraid to show his emotions to the family. Me too. Emotions are not only for the little people.

I think it is also agreed, if generalising is permitted; women are not going to help. Perhaps centuries of oppression has made them bitter?

We are going to have to go out there for ourselves and do it. Do it in a way that promotes the wearing of skirts. I think the fashion industry has the direction here. Bland, manly utility skirts and check/tarten fabrics. These are near enough acceptable for the majority.

As such I'm going into the playground today in my tarten skirt, it's not a Kilt but for most it is close enough and if it gets the job done I'll do it.

Tomorrow is a different matter, I'm going to Brighton with my daughter and we are going as ourselves!

[ScotL]

I don’t believe it is an “is against the world” thing. Suggesting women won’t help us erroneous and proven wrong by several of the wives/SOs here that have helped their respective MIS.

I think one of the biggest hurdles is that most people just do not think about it. We do because we have more than a vested interest in it. But for most people, the first time it gets brought up that men may want to wear a skirt is the first time they have seriously contemplated it.

And trying to change a person’s mind when they haven’t even contemplated something is impossible.

I know some disagree vehemently with it but I find the worth of celebrities wearing a skirt to be the ticket that forces people to even contemplate it.

Another factor is the emotional attachment of dressing “as a girl” and transvestism. Concerns for being mislabeled as gay or trans. The former is a silly association. But these association exist because I feel that for the majority, the list of why a man would wear a skirt is limited to 1) transvestite 2) gay 3) trans.

To add the fourth reason, 4) they’re comfortable takes time and effort and efforts done at the wearers own speed. Jump in too fast risks a negative experience that prevents them or delays them from trying again.

I think we need to be inclusive and non-judgmental. If a trans woman states how much more comfortable a skirt is, we should agree. If a woman states how much more comfortable a skirt is, we should agree. If a gay man states how much more comfortable a skirt is, we should agree. If a Kilted man states how much more comfortable a skirt is, we should agree and not break down into silly arguments about how a kilt isn’t a skirt despite being an unbifurcated garment worn as a bottom. If they want to use the word kilt, great! If you want to call your pants, trousers, great!

It sort of reminds me of sleep. The harder you try to sleep, the harder it is to fall asleep. The harder we try to force someone to verbalize their acceptance of a man wearing a skirt for comfort, the harder it will be. If you wear one and say nothing unless asked and then reply “because it’s more comfortable than pants”, that’s a win. I know many will want to debate endlessly the benefits with the casual observer but we have to remember our interest in it far exceeds theirs. And undue pressure on them that they must accept it will be perceived negatively. As in “what’s wrong with that guy”

Thinking to Coder’s Chronicles, I love how he has done it. No big reveal party to “come out of the closet”. No big discussions warning everyone on campus. Just slow and steady at his pace. One of his encounters he even thought about talking more but felt bad he didn’t. I thought that was brilliant. Conversation came up about him in a skirt, he acknowledged, his friend liked it and the convo moved on. Just like it should be when skirts on guys ain’t a big deal

[Barleymower]

I don’t believe it is an “is against the world” thing. Suggesting women won’t help us erroneous and proven wrong by several of the wives/SOs here that have helped their respective MIS.

I think one of the biggest hurdles is that most people just do not think about it. We do because we have more than a vested interest in it. But for most people, the first time it gets brought up that men may want to wear a skirt is the first time they have seriously contemplated it.

And trying to change a person’s mind when they haven’t even contemplated something is impossible.

I know some disagree vehemently with it but I find the worth of celebrities wearing a skirt to be the ticket that forces people to even contemplate it.

Another factor is the emotional attachment of dressing “as a girl” and transvestism. Concerns for being mislabeled as gay or trans. The former is a silly association. But these association exist because I feel that for the majority, the list of why a man would wear a skirt is limited to 1) transvestite 2) gay 3) trans.

To add the fourth reason, 4) they’re comfortable takes time and effort and efforts done at the wearers own speed. Jump in too fast risks a negative experience that prevents them or delays them from trying again.

I think we need to be inclusive and non-judgmental. If a trans woman states how much more comfortable a skirt is, we should agree. If a woman states how much more comfortable a skirt is, we should agree. If a gay man states how much more comfortable a skirt is, we should agree. If a Kilted man states how much more comfortable a skirt is, we should agree and not break down into silly arguments about how a kilt isn’t a skirt despite being an unbifurcated garment worn as a bottom. If they want to use the word kilt, great! If you want to call your pants, trousers, great!

It sort of reminds me of sleep. The harder you try to sleep, the harder it is to fall asleep. The harder we try to force someone to verbalize their acceptance of a man wearing a skirt for comfort, the harder it will be. If you wear one and say nothing unless asked and then reply “because it’s more comfortable than pants”, that’s a win. I know many will want to debate endlessly the benefits with the casual observer but we have to remember our interest in it far exceeds theirs. And undue pressure on them that they must accept it will be perceived negatively. As in “what’s wrong with that guy”

Thinking to Coder’s Chronicles, I love how he has done it. No big reveal party to “come out of the closet”. No big discussions warning everyone on campus. Just slow and steady at his pace. One of his encounters he even thought about talking more but felt bad he didn’t. I thought that was brilliant. Conversation came up about him in a skirt, he acknowledged, his friend liked it and the convo moved on. Just like it should be when skirts on guys ain’t a big deal

In general we are pulling in the same direction.

I am one of the lucky ones who's wife supports him, my daughter is a rock and could not be more supportive. The same is not true for many others. I feel for them I really do.

Coder's softy softy approach is the way to go. I agree.

My points were:
1. Where adverse conditions exist and you still want to wear a skirt then it is best to dress in a traditional manner for men in skirts.
2. Don't expect others to lay a path for you. You are going to have to forge ahead on your own.

With regard to wearing what is seen as womens clothes:
Transvestites: by definition they are fully immersed in the female role.
Gay men: Gay men don't wear skirts. My understanding of gay culture is it is all about the masculine. The Greeks had sex with other men. It was a manly thing to do.
Trans: like Transvestites, trans men are fully immersed in the female role in preparation for becoming a woman.

Lounging around in a comfy skirt is none of those things. It's comfy, it's airy, it's fun, it's exhilarating and very hard to stop once you have tried it.

People forget that men like beautiful things and beautiful people. All straight men go weak at the sight of a pretty girl. Surely it is natural for them to want a little of that for themselves?

[Myopic Bookworm]

My points were:
1. Where adverse conditions exist and you still want to wear a skirt then it is best to dress in a traditional manner for men in skirts.

I certainly agree with that. It took me several decades of kilt-wearing to become (socially) comfortable enough to move to other forms of skirt; and I still won't go further than a kilt with my parents and other extended family.

With regard to wearing what is seen as womens clothes:
Transvestites: by definition they are fully immersed in the female role.
Gay men: Gay men don't wear skirts. My understanding of gay culture is it is all about the masculine. The Greeks had sex with other men. It was a manly thing to do.
Trans: like Transvestites, trans men are fully immersed in the female role in preparation for becoming a woman.

As I am sure you appreciate, it can be more complicated than that, and this forum is a demonstration of the complexity (and the danger of forcing people into pigeonholes). "Transvestite" is not a tightly-defined term, but it includes people who present entirely as male and wear only invisible female clothing, as well as those who cross-dress completely in what is sometimes called "fempersonation", and a range of free-dressing and gender-ambiguous options in between; the term has become unfortunately associated with negative reactions to fetishism. Gay culture includes drag culture, which is not about the masculine but the theatrically hyperfeminine. However, gay culture tends to sideline bisexuality, and I suspect some men who wear skirts are bisexual, whether openly or not. "Trans" is a deceptive term, as it covers not only what was traditionally called transsexual (transition from one binary sex-identity to the other) but, with the more widespread decoupling of sex and gender, encompasses also a range of transgender identities. I understand that some members of this forum are biological males who sometimes present in what you call the "female role" by cross-dressing completely. Others cross-dress to a considerable degree without making any attempt to present as female, either remaining determinedly male (and so having to negotiate being thought eccentric) or presenting as androgynous or non-binary (transgender). And some are just men in skirts.

[Grok]

1. Tranny

2. Trans

3. Gay

Bear in mind that it is inconceivable that a Cis-/Hetero- male would be interested in trying a skirt. Grown men show no interest in the forbidden, therefore they obviously aren't interested.

[Barleymower]

1. Tranny

2. Trans

3. Gay

Bear in mind that it is inconceivable that a Cis-/Hetero- male would be interested in trying a skirt. Grown men show no interest in the forbidden, therefore they obviously aren't interested.

I take it your words are a little "tongue in cheek"?

[ScotL]

Words meanings often get twisted. In terms of a medical definition transvestites:

Psychiatry. a person, especially someone assigned male at birth, who assumes the dress and manner usually associated with a different sex for psychological or sexual gratification.

To differentiate from a cross dresser who dresses like the opposite gender but not for psychological/sexual Fetisch reasons. In other words, the drag queens.

I actually think MIS is a completely different definition. A man interested in wearing one item of clothing traditionally associated with women for comfort reasons.