Killed for wearing a dress
Killed for wearing a dress
Occasionally when I post photos of what I'm wearing, I'll get comments about the fact that I replace my face with a cartoony caricature. This is why. Of course this is a welcoming, understanding community but nothing you post on the internet ever remains private. I live in an extremely conservative, rural part of the midwest where this kind of thing is commonplace. If I ever make even the most obscure connection between my "Ralph" persona and my real identity, it's just my luck that some redneck searching for targets would find my picture, recognize my face, and that's the end of having a comfortable, peaceful life minding my own business.
There are folks willing to take the chance, stand up to the ignorant ogres, and educate the world about what we are (and are not), and you have my eternal admiration. I'm not one of those people: I back down from any emotionally charged confronation, and I run in terror from physical violence.
https://www.newsweek.com/murder-non-bin ... DlinVp5CA0
There are folks willing to take the chance, stand up to the ignorant ogres, and educate the world about what we are (and are not), and you have my eternal admiration. I'm not one of those people: I back down from any emotionally charged confronation, and I run in terror from physical violence.
https://www.newsweek.com/murder-non-bin ... DlinVp5CA0
Ralph!
- moonshadow
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress
What kind of party was he at where everyone just carried on while he laid there and bled to death?
I don't understand, I've been doing this openly for over five years now in some pretty red places, including Alabama... nobody has bothered me as of yet.
Nevertheless, I refuse to live in fear. I'd rather die free than live as a slave. I occasionally get those really bad looks from local "good old boys", I just raise my chin and give them that little obnoxious "Trump grin" as I walk by.
I don't owe them people jack sh!t, and I'm not going to let a bunch of soulless heathens run my life!
I don't understand, I've been doing this openly for over five years now in some pretty red places, including Alabama... nobody has bothered me as of yet.
Nevertheless, I refuse to live in fear. I'd rather die free than live as a slave. I occasionally get those really bad looks from local "good old boys", I just raise my chin and give them that little obnoxious "Trump grin" as I walk by.
I don't owe them people jack sh!t, and I'm not going to let a bunch of soulless heathens run my life!
-Andrea
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
Re: Killed for wearing a dress
Moon's right, you can't just cower in fear of some nutcase. The article didn't make it clear to me that it was because he was wearing a dress. The overheard comment was just one person's opinion. We all die and I would rather die quickly from something like a gunshot than slowly from a cancer or similar. The chances of it happening, even in America, to anyone are still vanishingly small. Having said that - it's your environment and your choice but it's a shame that you feel you have to react in such a way. I live in an environment where gun ownership is low and violence rare so I don't have any fear when I go out in a skirt.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress
I think Moon is right here too.
I feel empowered being out an open in a dress or a skirt or a playsuit etc - whatever takes my fancy and it is liberating.
I have worn womens wear for a decade - and pretty much all the time for the last 5 to 7 years. I've gone as far as wearing high heels almost exclusively for the last 2 to 3 years.
I don't get any troubles and it is all self confidence based.
We can't live in fear of the minority of people with real issues - its the likes of those who are 'rednecks' that have the problem ... we don't have the problem. (and we do have rednecks and outback areas here in NZ where I do raise eyebrows etc.... but I have not had any real issues)
Cheers
NZF
I feel empowered being out an open in a dress or a skirt or a playsuit etc - whatever takes my fancy and it is liberating.
I have worn womens wear for a decade - and pretty much all the time for the last 5 to 7 years. I've gone as far as wearing high heels almost exclusively for the last 2 to 3 years.
I don't get any troubles and it is all self confidence based.
We can't live in fear of the minority of people with real issues - its the likes of those who are 'rednecks' that have the problem ... we don't have the problem. (and we do have rednecks and outback areas here in NZ where I do raise eyebrows etc.... but I have not had any real issues)
Cheers
NZF
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress
I'm with Moon on this one as well. If we passively allow others to rule us we willingly give up basic human rights, and folks have given their lives in the past that we might have those rights today.
I am not saying, "Throw caution to the wind", but rather to use prudence and to choose one's battles wisely and with forethought.
Don't let the idiots win without a fight.
I am not saying, "Throw caution to the wind", but rather to use prudence and to choose one's battles wisely and with forethought.
Don't let the idiots win without a fight.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress
Moon, Carl and the others- you've all made good points about not living in fear and giving in to ignorant people. But let's respect Ralph's right to feel the way he does, and his right to do, or not do, what he feels is right in a given situation. That's his right. Ralph says he'd rather back down from a confrontation and I respect him and support him.
- Fred in Skirts
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress
Yes Brad we must take into consideration Ralph's right to feel that way. I on the other hand am like Carl, Moon and others here, I have been very open with my skirt and dress wearing. In fact it has been well over 7 years since I have worn anything from the male side of the aisle. I do not worry about the red necks or any of the other groups that get news paper and TV coverage. I live in the bible and gun belts and in all of this time I have never had a problem.Brad wrote: ↑Thu Dec 24, 2020 11:35 pm Moon, Carl and the others- you've all made good points about not living in fear and giving in to ignorant people. But let's respect Ralph's right to feel the way he does, and his right to do, or not do, what he feels is right in a given situation. That's his right. Ralph says he'd rather back down from a confrontation and I respect him and support him.
We are supposed to live in the land of the free, so I will live free and dress the way I want..
"It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you are not" Andre Gide: 1869 - 1951
Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind and the ones that mind don’t matter.
Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind and the ones that mind don’t matter.
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress
I feel this thread got a little side-tracked from the original point about not posting identifiable pictures of yourself online. I find it a little scary going outside in a skirt/dress, but at no point do I feel unsafe (note: not US). That however doesn't mean I feel comfortable posting pictures of me online. There aren't many identifiable pictures of me at all online and I wasn't about to change that here. No offence intended.
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress
There are a few things going on here.
The first is really that it is not for anyone to pass judgement on how anyone else feels about "going public".
Secondly, we in the UK are used to a highly tolerant society where open hostility to a man in a skirt is rare so we have little concept of the dangers faced elsewhere. What is more, any detractors that we face are unlikely to be carrying a firearm.
In saying that, face the fear down as long as you are able to but stay safe.
Martyrs we do not need.
Steve
The first is really that it is not for anyone to pass judgement on how anyone else feels about "going public".
Secondly, we in the UK are used to a highly tolerant society where open hostility to a man in a skirt is rare so we have little concept of the dangers faced elsewhere. What is more, any detractors that we face are unlikely to be carrying a firearm.
In saying that, face the fear down as long as you are able to but stay safe.
Martyrs we do not need.
Steve
Re: Killed for wearing a dress
In my reply I did recognise that Ralph is in his environment and is best to judge his safety in that. I just posited that it was a shame that he had to feel that way. Yes, I live in a very low crime area and did feel vulnerable at first until I had overcome that initial stage but now feel no threat in going out in a skirt so am not in a good position to judge. As to showing head shots, well, not bothered about that either as the chances of someone I would be concerned about seeing them is small. Anyway I have been open about skirt wearing so can hardly have it held against me for any reason.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
- moonshadow
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress
To be clear, my only intent was to explain how I personally handle these emotions of fear (yes I have them). I force my way through them.
Yes Ralph has every right to expand his skirt wearing as he sees fit, and he has every right to choose to not post face pictures online.
Ralph may not be afraid of heights... I myself am terrified of them. Occasionally I have to work on roofs, high roofs like on grocery stores, Walmarts and Sam's Club (Sam's Club are the highest I usually deal with)
Sometimes when I stand on those top ladder rungs and hoist my tools up the hatch, I can feel my legs get shaky.... and everything just looks so small and far away from up there... but I've got a job to do.. so I push on..
That being said, I'd never be the window washer of a skyscraper, but there was a time when I plumb froze up at the thought of climbing on top of a box store roof. We must push ourselves if we wish to overcome to fear.
We are not required to push ourself, but if we don't, nothing will ever change and we will remain trapped in our own mental prison.
I remember well the feeling of fear and dread standing at my front door, wearing a grey macabi and tee-shirt, summer 2015... but I pushed on anyway.
People get murdered every day, 99.99999% of the victims were not dress wearing men. You can get murdered for just about anything, so what do we do... do we never leave the house?
Yes Ralph has every right to expand his skirt wearing as he sees fit, and he has every right to choose to not post face pictures online.
Ralph may not be afraid of heights... I myself am terrified of them. Occasionally I have to work on roofs, high roofs like on grocery stores, Walmarts and Sam's Club (Sam's Club are the highest I usually deal with)
Sometimes when I stand on those top ladder rungs and hoist my tools up the hatch, I can feel my legs get shaky.... and everything just looks so small and far away from up there... but I've got a job to do.. so I push on..
That being said, I'd never be the window washer of a skyscraper, but there was a time when I plumb froze up at the thought of climbing on top of a box store roof. We must push ourselves if we wish to overcome to fear.
We are not required to push ourself, but if we don't, nothing will ever change and we will remain trapped in our own mental prison.
I remember well the feeling of fear and dread standing at my front door, wearing a grey macabi and tee-shirt, summer 2015... but I pushed on anyway.
People get murdered every day, 99.99999% of the victims were not dress wearing men. You can get murdered for just about anything, so what do we do... do we never leave the house?
-Andrea
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
- moonshadow
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress
My biggest gripe with people cutting off their heads, blocking them, blurring them, etc is I feel it gives skirt wearing men a "pervy" vibe, as though this is something to be ashamed of.
It's not.
Honestly if someone is going to be that timid, then I'd just assume they not post a photo at all.
-Andrea
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress
There's a reason why there is no editorial stance here on how photographs are composed/framed/altered -- and that's to keep everyone's personal comfort-level where it needs to be. And I'm not about to change that stance, because I see no compelling need to. To each his own. Finis.
Personally, I like full-frame shots, but I can understand why some are reticent to post them. So things slide.
Personally, I like full-frame shots, but I can understand why some are reticent to post them. So things slide.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress
Good point. Time to re-evaluate why I feel the need to post pictures at all...moonshadow wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 8:31 pm Honestly if someone is going to be that timid, then I'd just assume they not post a photo at all.
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress
Well, don't stop on account of what I said. There's a lot of things people do that I don't care for, but headless skirt photos are pretty harmless, and by God, it's a free country. Do whatcha want!rode_kater wrote: ↑Sat Dec 26, 2020 10:46 pmGood point. Time to re-evaluate why I feel the need to post pictures at all...moonshadow wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 8:31 pm Honestly if someone is going to be that timid, then I'd just assume they not post a photo at all.
I don't care to wear pencil skirts or kilts either, but that doesn't mean I believe nobody else should....
-Andrea
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.