Killed for wearing a dress

Clippings from news sources involving fashion freedom and other gender equality issues.
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moonshadow
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

Post by moonshadow »

crfriend wrote:
Sat Dec 26, 2020 1:51 am
There's a reason why there is no editorial stance here on how photographs are composed/framed/altered -- and that's to keep everyone's personal comfort-level where it needs to be. And I'm not about to change that stance, because I see no compelling need to. To each his own. Finis.

Personally, I like full-frame shots, but I can understand why some are reticent to post them. So things slide.
Please understand, I expressed a petpeeve, not to be taken as a suggestion for updating the rule book on allowable photos.

But I can't help it, whenever I see someone who's head is blurred out, I can't help but feel as though the person in question is guilty of something.

I mean, especially those who hide their faces online, yet still wear skirts openly in public. Odds are favorable the person has been photographed many times, and is likely been posted online anyway.

I suppose this sort of ties into the "mask thread" whereas people may find it easier to wear skirts in public while wearing a mask.

However, unlike BobM's implication, while wearing a mask for health related reasons isn't "living your life in fear", doing so to avoid detection, is.

Rosie the rivetor wasn't ashamed to live in a man's world. (yes I know she's a cartoon, but the women who followed in her footsteps weren't) Frankly my feminine side is a source of great pride for me, I can't imagine wanting to hide it...

Rosie-the-Riveter-We-Can-Do-It-poster-J-Howard-Miller-circa-1942-1943-World-War-II_resize_68.jpg
I honestly don't see how femininity got paired with weakness. Most women I know are tough as nails and sharp as a tack.
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Coder
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

Post by Coder »

The reason I chop my head off is I don’t want someone posting my photos over instagram or Pinterest. At least, it sort of disincentivizes reposting my photos. I’m also mostly interested in getting feedback on what works and what doesn’t, though early on when I was doing my own thing (Tom’s Cafe days) I was less cognizant of appearance and less neurotic about looking polished and never posted.

I also just don’t like posting my photo in general, though if I had true confidence I wouldn’t care.
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

Post by rode_kater »

moonshadow wrote:
Sun Dec 27, 2020 2:25 am
I mean, especially those who hide their faces online, yet still wear skirts openly in public. Odds are favorable the person has been photographed many times, and is likely been posted online anyway.
This is probably not the place to get into the differences between US and EU privacy law, but taking photos of other people and posting them publicly online without permission is a big no-no. Of course, I may just end up in the background of someone else's photo and that's no problem. But being to object of a photo, that's just not allowed. Enforcement is a completely different question of course, but people have mostly internalised the rules these days and it all works out ok. And even then, if you're referenced without a name, the risk is low.

Posting here you post under an identifier, together with the content of the posts adds up to quite a bit. So that's not a remotely comparable situation.

I did reflect on why I do it (I'm not an avid photo poster anyway) but like Coder I want feedback on what works and what doesn't, since I'm not likely to get that anywhere else. The question is: is your face relevant to the evaluation of how you look? Maybe it's very relevant, I'm not sure.

But as for the preferring no identifiable pictures online, maybe it's because I work in IT and have seen the dark side. People taking photo's of crossdressers and using them to make fake dating profiles to attract particular types of people, that actually happens. Sure, it's rare, but I think that's actually higher risk than getting accosted on the street.
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moonshadow
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

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rode_kater wrote:
Sun Dec 27, 2020 12:37 pm
People taking photo's of crossdressers and using them to make fake dating profiles to attract particular types of people, that actually happens
I don't think I have to worry about my face attracting anyone...! :lol: I've scrolled "men in skirts" tags on the internet long enough to know I'm not among the "popular ones"... :wink:

Anyway, apparently this is one area where I believe the U.S. actually got it right. Public photography should be allowed. If you're in the public square, you're fair game (common sense exceptions apply of course (e.g. no "upskirting", etc...))

I mean, I'd hate to think I wasn't allowed to photograph scenes like this, or this...
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

Post by rivegauche »

I do not post my pictures here, with or without my head. I find verbal communication perfectly adequate. It is not about fear of being exposed as a skirt wearer or crossdresser (I do both). I work in a very open minded place and I am confident that my friends are real friends. For me the real issue is that I have achieved something with my life and I want to be remembered for this. It is easier to retain the anonymity with a mask when out in public. I do not want to be reduced to "the guy in the dress". I get feedback on my outfits from women who see me in them and the reality is that women usually know more about style than men. I am on a style site on Facebook in my crossdressed form using a female name but am open about being male. The site is a closed one so only members see and even then the pictures are masked using Photoshop. The women on that site (I am the only male) are lovely and give me fantastic constructive feedback. There are also women on the site who insist on masking their faces and they do not get criticised for this. Wearing a mask or make-up and a wig protects your identity and wanting to remain anonymous does not equate to being ashamed of what you are wearing - it is merely a realistic approach to life. Having gone out many times as a man in a skirt and disguised as a woman, neither attracts a lot of attention, but the man in skirt attracts more. Also I have been recognised as a man in a skirt but when dressed as a woman I have even been introduced (using my woman's name) to someone I know who did not recognise me. So yes the mask does make it easier. It is nothing to do with fear or shame - I lost the fear of going out in public in these clothes long ago and I am not even slightly ashamed of it. Wearing a skirt or a dress is something I do but has nothing to do with identity, gender or otherwise. I will not allow this to intrude on what my life is really about. I have more important things to do with my life than be a standard-bearer for equal clothing rights. I will lead by example by exercising these rights but not by campaigning for them.
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

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Actually, I think I understand where you're coming from rivegauche .

I'm getting to that place these days, in fact I've even had conversations with the girls about how I don't really want my legacy to be just "that guy that wears dresses".

Like you, my choice of clothing is nothing I'm ashamed of, but also like you, there is a lot more to me than the clothes I wear. That's one of the reasons I re-worked my Flickr account to focus more of "photography quality" shots, and nixed the ones of not only myself wearing skirts, but pretty much all photos of a personal nature (family holidays, gatherings, etc). Unfortunately, when I did this, seems most people really lost interest in my feed... turns out people were really just there for the "novelty" of my crossdressing, so I lost interest and seldom post photos of any nature these days.

I don't mind a photo of me surfacing online, and God knows there's plenty out there to choose from. Every so often I post one here just for the heck of it, or to illustrate the post.

Frankly my thinking hair line and Buddha belly means I can never run with the 20 somethings that are all over sites like tick-tock, tumbler, etc... but it is what it is.

Anyway, I vex often of what defines the person I am... I DO NOT want to be defined by my occupation (day job). I enjoy dabbling in all things spiritual, but it's difficult to find kindred spirits in such matters here in Pentecostal Appalachia. I can do a lot of things, but I'm not really "good" at anything... though I do make a mean cheese cake. My kitchen abilities are slightly above average.

I suppose the thing I'm best as is just being me.

But yes, while my skirts are a part of me, they are just a few pages in a very big book that's still being written. Perhaps the meaning of my life isn't to leave a "legacy"... perhaps it's just to enjoy myself and get the most out of it... as for fame... or assault...come what may.
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Fred in Skirts
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

Post by Fred in Skirts »

Moon, While you may be a "Jack of all trades, but a master of none". You do excel at being a caring human being. And I rejoice in the fact that you are my friend.
I just wish my health was better so that we could get together (the three of us) again. We had such a great time wondering around the town and talking...
"It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you are not" Andre Gide: 1869 - 1951
Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind and the ones that mind don’t matter.
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moonshadow
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

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Fred in Skirts wrote:
Sun Dec 27, 2020 8:23 pm
Moon, While you may be a "Jack of all trades, but a master of none". You do excel at being a caring human being. And I rejoice in the fact that you are my friend.
I just wish my health was better so that we could get together (the three of us) again. We had such a great time wondering around the town and talking...
Thanks Fred,

Perhaps when this pandemic finally runs it's course, we can do just that!
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moonshadow
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

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On the matter of photographs being spread around the internet, I just happened to stumble on a few of mine that have apparently spread past my reach...

I saw a photo of a man in a skirt online, and followed the link to some crossdressing "petticoating" site (femininization).

The six page thread actually has some pretty sharp looking skirt wearing guys... yours truly made the cut twice... :mrgreen:

Technically this infringed on my copyright, but I can't help but be a little flattered that someone thought enough of my outfits to group me in with these stunning fellas... Hey, I'd rather see my face here rather than on some "people of Walmart" meme... :wink:

BTW... no, I'm not a member there, nor do I plan to be...

https://petticoated.com/forum/archive/i ... 209-1.html

You will find me on page two and three...

Nice looks in there if I do say so...
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

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by moonshadow » Sun Dec 27, 2020 6:25 pm

On the matter of photographs being spread around the internet, I just happened to stumble on a few of mine that have apparently spread past my reach...

I saw a photo of a man in a skirt online, and followed the link to some crossdressing "petticoating" site (femininization).

The six page thread actually has some pretty sharp looking skirt wearing guys... yours truly made the cut twice... :mrgreen:

Technically this infringed on my copyright, but I can't help but be a little flattered that someone thought enough of my outfits to group me in with these stunning fellas... Hey, I'd rather see my face here rather than on some "people of Walmart" meme... :wink:

BTW... no, I'm not a member there, nor do I plan to be...

https://petticoated.com/forum/archive/i ... 209-1.html
Hey, thanks Moon for posting this link -- indeed a number of these guys put a bunch of us to shame for the style with which they wear their skirts. It is nice to see more guys in them -- sometimes I feel we are such a measly number with a handful of oddballs here on SC, but though we may be few here, the skirted male is far more numerous about the globe.
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

Post by mishawakaskirt »

moonshadow wrote:
Mon Dec 28, 2020 12:25 am
On the matter of photographs being spread around the internet, I just happened to stumble on a few of mine that have apparently spread past my reach...

I saw a photo of a man in a skirt online, and followed the link to some crossdressing "petticoating" site (femininization).

The six page thread actually has some pretty sharp looking skirt wearing guys... yours truly made the cut twice... :mrgreen:

Technically this infringed on my copyright, but I can't help but be a little flattered that someone thought enough of my outfits to group me in with these stunning fellas... Hey, I'd rather see my face here rather than on some "people of Walmart" meme... :wink:

BTW... no, I'm not a member there, nor do I plan to be...

https://petticoated.com/forum/archive/i ... 209-1.html

You will find me on page two and three...

Nice looks in there if I do say so...

While I get the point of view and frustration of headless pictures or blurred ones. Moon's a prime example of what may happen with ones pictures when posted anywhere on the internet. They can end up literally any in the world, and on any site.
For now a fair amount of us want to protect our identities. While times are changing for both good and bad.
A skirt wearing male is still seen a little bit of a outcast.
While there are more laws to protect people from discrimination. It doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
Any employer or person can lie about anything.
I'm sure a employer could fire one for wearing a skirt. And give some other excuse falsely. I don't want to find out the hard way. Also my wife would have issues with it.

For right now I reserve the right to remain headless in photos.
Let's leave it at your choice.
To post headed or headless pictures.

When you can go out and see 5 to 10 percent of men and boys in skirts, in every day settings. ( Hardware store, restaurants, grocery stores) , then I will start posting pictures on this site. At that point I will publicly wear skirts anyway. It may be a few more years off. It seems men in skirts are in the news alot, even in my tiny corner of the world, I have seen atleast 3 other men in kilts. I think MIS will be more common place, once a few more get out there, being the first few is the hard part. The younger generation will probably probably see MIS as a non event. They are being taught gender is basically meaningless in school.
I just saw a junior highschool or highschool aged person, out shopping at Christmas time that I couldn't tell if they were male or female. Most of the physical cues suggested male. Flat chested, with short hair style that I have seen on boys and girls
But had on a feminine sweater, and red painted fingernails. I could not hear them talking to the family to get any voice cues.
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Avoid the middle man, wear a kilt or skirt.
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

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mishawakaskirt wrote:
Mon Jan 04, 2021 3:51 pm
The younger generation will probably probably see MIS as a non event.
I'm not so sure we can give the younger generation a pass on tolerance. Literally two thirds of the harassment I've received has been from people under 25. Nobody has EVER harassed me that looked to be above retirement age, at worst they may give a dirty look.

Intolerance knows no age limit, and it seems the more younger people are, the more obnoxious they behave when they see something they don't like.
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

Post by crfriend »

moonshadow wrote:
Mon Jan 04, 2021 4:20 pm
Intolerance knows no age limit, and it seems the more younger people are, the more obnoxious they behave when they see something they don't like.
Indeed, and as things continue to decay on the civility front we can only expect it to get worse. Adults generally know how to behave. The kiddies not so much.
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Fred in Skirts
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

Post by Fred in Skirts »

crfriend wrote:
Mon Jan 04, 2021 4:44 pm
moonshadow wrote:
Mon Jan 04, 2021 4:20 pm
Intolerance knows no age limit, and it seems the more younger people are, the more obnoxious they behave when they see something they don't like.
Indeed, and as things continue to decay on the civility front we can only expect it to get worse. Adults generally know how to behave. The kiddies not so much.
And why is this?

It is because the last generation has not taught the current generation how civilized people behave in public or anywhere else for that matter. The blame goes to the parents of the little bastids.

When I was a child I was spanked and placed in my room for infractions of the rules. My parents did not abuse me they did however correct me and taught me how to behave. When I brought my young up I did what my parents did and it worked for them as well.

Now days, if you spank your child they call it child abuse. It is not it is training them to be better adults.

And yes there is a difference between spanking and beating a child. Spanking uses the flat hand on the bottom only. Beating uses any thing else including closed fists, belts, and paddles.
And for you Catholics out there the Nuns rulers are considered abuse.
"It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you are not" Andre Gide: 1869 - 1951
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Re: Killed for wearing a dress

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I figure it has a lot to do with the younger a person is, the smaller the world seems to them, combined with the more they think they know about everything...

I know when I look back I'm practically embarrassed by the arrogant cockiness I displayed in my late teens and early twenties.

These days, I have resolved to hopefully age like a fine wine.... sophisticated and smooth...

... I have a long way to go... :lol: :wink:
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