skirtcafe.org

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyl ... asculinity

This was not the first time I’d found myself a little uncomfortable with the sight of Ian in women’s wear. It’s not an unusual sight to spot him sporting a skirt, dress, or sarong at a party, picnic, or trailhead. He uses his unconventional apparel as a display of his individuality and a reflection of his fondness for fun. I adore both of those qualities, but I was realizing I was less fond of seeing them exhibited through floral numbers or tight sequined garments or wedding dresses.

While it was attraction-at-first sight with Ian, his closet full of feminine gear put a tiny dent in his desirability from the very beginning of our relationship. Not enough to stop me from acting on my huge crush, but enough to notice there was an unexpected disconnect between what I thought I was OK with a man wearing, and what I actually found appealing on his body.

Think she's trying to be supportive bus still can't get her head round...well, I dunno, what male "masculinity" is (I suppose)?

Thoughts?

There seems to be a conflict that is ongoing in the minds of some women. The story reflects sentiments I have heard my entire life, and that is men should be more sensitive, etc. Yet, when presented with a man who is more sensitive, women seem to not be able to handle it.

Further, I resent the attitude of "we can wear what we please." However, men must wear what we want them to.
I am glad that she is accepting to some degree.

An excellent article and I assume reflects what MOH feels. She is supportive in some ways yet can utter some really hurtful remarks about my skirt wearing at a particularly vulnerable time. Food for thought.

Good article... food for thought.

The funny/sad/best part of this is that my first reaction upon clicking the article was, "I WANT THAT DRESS!"

It was a bit of zany fun and I am glad she saw it as such - or at least I think she did.

The writer didn't need to turn it into an ideological point and I hope that wasn't what she was hoping to achieve. I don't want to sound cynical, but I am always suspicious when The Guardian prints stuff like this as there is so often a subtext of man-hating feminism.

After reading the article I believe she is really trying to be honest and supportive of her boy friend and men. I really don't see anything of the toxic femininity in the article. She realizes that she is the problem, she is fighting her up bringing and previous brain washing and her newer ideals.

It is shocking when your boyfriend wants to wear a dress. It shouldn't be, but I have problem with me wearing dresses.

At the close of the article, it seems she's worked through her issues though. She had questioned why she had difficulty accepting it, which is fair enough, but has come to understand it, and get over it. Overall, a positive article.

Edit: Try thinking about it this way. I would like it if my GF had a nice figure, and dressed to show it off. But there is no way I'm going to try and insist on that if she is not of a mind to. My ex does have a nice figure and will occasionally dress up, but for the most part, dresses fairly simply, and not very revealing. If I had tried to tell her otherwise, we wouldn't have stayed together very long.

But I found myself unexpectedly uneasy with his new fondness for feminine frocks – a reaction that challenged the progressive ideals I’d prided myself on for decades. I’d long thought I was contributing to a progressive shift in how we define masculinity, finally allowing men to be emotional and vulnerable, or to ask for help, or to hug their male friends … or to wear dresses

Heheh.... yep... that's the difference between reading the manual and actually getting your hands in the machine!

Ahhh... progressive women... all fun and games until hubby comes home in a wedding dress!

Ehhhehehe....

moonshadow wrote: ↑Tue Feb 25, 2020 12:19 am

But I found myself unexpectedly uneasy with his new fondness for feminine frocks – a reaction that challenged the progressive ideals I’d prided myself on for decades. I’d long thought I was contributing to a progressive shift in how we define masculinity, finally allowing men to be emotional and vulnerable, or to ask for help, or to hug their male friends … or to wear dresses

Heheh.... yep... that's the difference between reading the manual and actually getting your hands in the machine!

Ahhh... progressive women... all fun and games until hubby comes home in a wedding dress!

Ehhhehehe....

I like your analogy Moon!

Freedomforall wrote: ↑Tue Feb 25, 2020 12:24 am

moonshadow wrote: ↑Tue Feb 25, 2020 12:19 am

But I found myself unexpectedly uneasy with his new fondness for feminine frocks – a reaction that challenged the progressive ideals I’d prided myself on for decades. I’d long thought I was contributing to a progressive shift in how we define masculinity, finally allowing men to be emotional and vulnerable, or to ask for help, or to hug their male friends … or to wear dresses

Heheh.... yep... that's the difference between reading the manual and actually getting your hands in the machine!

Ahhh... progressive women... all fun and games until hubby comes home in a wedding dress!

Ehhhehehe....

I like your analogy Moon!

Yeah... it does fit pretty good doesn't it?

"Ahh ghee, the Haynes manual made replacing this clutch seem so easy!"

Seriously though, my wife has shared similar feelings with me. She admits its not very attractive, but tries to be supportive nevertheless.

Stu wrote: ↑Mon Feb 24, 2020 7:20 pm It was a bit of zany fun and I am glad she saw it as such - or at least I think she did.

The writer didn't need to turn it into an ideological point and I hope that wasn't what she was hoping to achieve. I don't want to sound cynical, but I am always suspicious when The Guardian prints stuff like this as there is so often a subtext of man-hating feminism.

If it was a dress for the big day - I wouldn't want to steal attention from the bride... but if it was a bit of fun, then no harm done. She said she has been used to him wearing an array of skirts and dresses - though as the guy I'd mix it up even with regular bland mens wear. I wouldn't have skirts replace everything, but just as an option alongside trousers and shorts sometimes you do just feel like throwing a pair of jeans on Interesting that theres no comments section either

It's a curious custom that the bride is expected to receive all of the attention on a wedding day. And that it's considered "her day".

This is not a rant, just mentioning a curious custom...

Why is this?

moonshadow wrote: ↑Tue Feb 25, 2020 11:34 pm It's a curious custom that the bride is expected to receive all of the attention on a wedding day. And that it's considered "her day".

This is not a rant, just mentioning a curious custom...

Why is this?

Found this:

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-for ... 0842c.html

moonshadow wrote: ↑Tue Feb 25, 2020 11:34 pmWhy is this?

This is a likely hangover from the days when, once married, women entered a supporting role for their husbands who worked outside the home (the old "hunter" role) and brought home a salary that could support the entire family. However, that was a long time ago in a galaxy far far away

The ground truth of today is pretty much, "one salary, one adult" which means that both partners are working full time (or beyond) to make ends meet (or at least try to). Given the new paradigm, one would think that the old notions would fade away, but sometimes it's the simplest of things that are the most difficult to get rid of.

In the modern world, you'd think the linking of a partnership would be overtly celebrated by both, for the benefit of both -- because both are going to have to be equal players. If the partnership passes the decade mark -- because most won't -- it should be cause for an outright bash if finances allow. Ones that span 50+ years I rather suspect are an extinct species, or very nearly so; those are the ones to really cherish.

Children? Why on the gods' green Earth would any ethical feeling human being bring a child into today's world? That I cannot fathom.