Why Most Men Still Don’t Casually Wear Dresses

Clippings from news sources involving fashion freedom and other gender equality issues.

Re: Why Most Men Still Don’t Casually Wear Dresses

Postby Ralph » Wed Dec 12, 2018 4:56 am

The greatest insult you can offer a man is to call him effeminate, but women esteem it a compliment to be told they have a boyish figure and that they have a masculine intellect.”

And here, 80 years later, this is still the crux of the matter. For all the advances in equality for women as they have spent a century fighting and clawing their way up just to where they can be treated as equals with men, society's dirty little secret is that we (not any of us, of course) see women attempting to be more masculine as improving their lot, whilst a man attempting to be more feminine is thought to be degrading himself.

Not one of our arguments explaining why men in skirts aren't gay, or trans, or sex predators, will matter until we can surmount that single biggest misconception about so-called gender equality.

I, too, have considered myself "gender-nonconforming" at times, but as I look at the short end of my time on this planet I'm done with labels. When I visit reddit discussions on gender fluid or nonbinary or whatever, it's all about (mostly) men wanting to present as (mostly) female, or at best ambiguous/asexual. That's not me either. I want to look like a man; I want to be treated as a man; I like being a man. I just hate the clothes that men are expected to wear, so I dress from the other side of the aisle. Apart from /r/menskirts/ there's nothing out there; that subreddit gets no more than one post every three to six months and it's mostly guys showing off their legs and trying to look cute.

And, of course, the occasional visit from someone demanding to know why men aren't allowed to wear skirts. Sound familiar? :D
Ralph!
Ralph
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 250
Joined: Wed Jun 26, 2013 9:07 pm

Re: Why Most Men Still Don’t Casually Wear Dresses

Postby WesleyN » Wed Dec 12, 2018 9:20 pm

I do not think it's important whether I am male or female. In my passport is written Male as gender, because I was born as a boy. I just choose myself. I choose what I think is important. And indeed we live too short to put myself aside. People who know me well and love me, accept me as I am. Those people are important to me. People always have an opinion about you. Why do you have to behave as people expect from you. Be who you are. They then get a fairer person in return.
User avatar
WesleyN
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 191
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2014 3:39 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Re: Why Most Men Still Don’t Casually Wear Dresses

Postby pelmut » Thu Dec 13, 2018 7:45 am

moonshadow wrote:The trans box is still a box. I like to think outside said box.

The problems are caused by people who can only think in terms of boxes and then try to impose their views on others.
There is no such thing as a normal person, only someone you don't know very well yet.
pelmut
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 800
Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2014 10:36 am
Location: Somerset, England

Re: Why Most Men Still Don’t Casually Wear Dresses

Postby lazerr » Thu Dec 13, 2018 7:52 pm

I think that boxes can be very convenient. If you can identify a box, and conform to it, it implies instant acceptance. Now, I believe, such acceptance is not real acceptance, but simply ignorance of who you really are. They don't know the real you, but, since you are appearing to be one of them, you are accepted to some degree. Real acceptance can only come if you are not simply imitating others and joining the box. That is what freedom is, the choice to be yourself, but that same freedom, to some, allows others to try and force compliance with the way they think you (and everyone else) should be.

I have been in a situation where my christian church professed unconditional love, but still required I conform, so that isn't unconditional. Shunning is a real thing, but I guess is better than imposition of belief through laws or other forms of force..
lazerr
Distinguished Member
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Tue Sep 25, 2018 3:40 pm
Location: Central Massachusetts

Re: Why Most Men Still Don’t Casually Wear Dresses

Postby WesleyN » Thu Dec 13, 2018 10:08 pm

People want confirmation. People want to belong to something, identify themselves with something. I also thought it was scary to be myself. I was also afraid to show who I am. I also had of what others will think of me. That doubt is still there. But now I have to be able to be myself. I'm not doing anything wrong.

I never wanted to belong to a group. Maybe because I felt that I did not belong anywhere. Probably I feel lonely sometimes, because I do not always feel understood. It is a lonely battle, even though I get a lot of understanding right and left. I can not always show: This is me. My best friends now know the real me.

Yet you sometimes feel doubt. Also because you hardly see anyone you feel connected to. And yet I do not need to go out in a group with men in skirts. I prefer to be in company with my friends, who really know me.

The fact whether or not I am a real man does not interest me. Whether I am accepted by everyone, is not that important to me either. And if I am not considered full, who determines that. People who do not accept me are not important to me.

I do not need confirmation for who I am. I know that very well. I do enough self-examination. Fortunately, I can now also talk about my own feelings and negative experiences that I have had. I want to be honest with myself and with others who deserve it. I do not feel the need to tell my story to anyone.

And @lazerr. I can totally agree with your words.
User avatar
WesleyN
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 191
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2014 3:39 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Re: Why Most Men Still Don’t Casually Wear Dresses

Postby skirtyscot » Sun Dec 16, 2018 1:11 am

pelmut wrote:
moonshadow wrote:The trans box is still a box. I like to think outside said box.

The problems are caused by people who can only think in terms of boxes and then try to impose their views on others.


The whole notion of transgender requires the boxes, and a movement from one to the other.
Keep on skirting,

Alastair
skirtyscot
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 2741
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:44 pm
Location: West Kilbride, Ayrshire, Scotland

Re: Why Most Men Still Don’t Casually Wear Dresses

Postby Gusto10 » Sat Dec 29, 2018 5:31 pm

The original story with which this thread commenced, reminded me of a smallish thing with my ex many years ago. She asked me if she could wear a pair of my socks. I answered with yes, and do you mind if I would wear a pair of your tights. No answer, she didn't touch my socks after that day.

Boxes; society can't do without in order to understand things. We have been tought to think in boxes. If it doesn't fit in a box it's not the problem of the one who created the box, but of the one who doesn't fit. The story of Oedipus and the Cyclops, one way or the other you were made to fit the bed.
Nowadays one can see such in daily life, at least here in the ld world where salaries are paid once a month around the 24th. Bills, automatic withdrawls are all focused on the day salaries are paid out, when you're self employed you do have a major problem.
Gusto10
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 378
Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2015 12:07 pm

Previous

Return to In the News / Advocacy

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest