Breaking the Gender Binary with Rob Smith | Rob Smith | TEDxCMU

Clippings from news sources involving fashion freedom and other gender equality issues.
Faldaguy
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Re: Breaking the Gender Binary with Rob Smith | Rob Smith | TEDxCMU

Post by Faldaguy »

by moonshadow » Wed Oct 13, 2021 6:35 pm
rode_kater wrote: ↑Tue Oct 12, 2021 11:26 am
My SO gave me a handbag a couple of years ago. It's black square thing with a strap over the shoulder strap so doesn't appear feminine in any way.
What's wrong with feminine?
I know this may have been directed at rode kater...but it could apply to a bunch of us.

I think feminine may just be less familiar to men -- at least when enacted or worn by them. I find I sometimes 'go feminine' just to be a prickly sort and rub it into the men, and some women, shocked to see something on a man that has a feminine appearance.

At times the item may not "feel like me". However, I think that is mostly a matter of feminine things just being foreign to most of my experience for so long.

That same notion, any new clothing article may not feel quite 'right, or me' at first. But, if I wear it for a day or two, even about the house, my comfort level grows and I can head out the door with more confidence, and I usually find I come to quite enjoy the feminine aspect as well.

So guys:
What's wrong with feminine?
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Re: Breaking the Gender Binary with Rob Smith | Rob Smith | TEDxCMU

Post by rode_kater »

moonshadow wrote:
Thu Oct 14, 2021 12:35 am
rode_kater wrote:
Tue Oct 12, 2021 5:26 pm
My SO gave me a handbag a couple of years ago. It's black square thing with a strap over the shoulder strap so doesn't appear feminine in any way.
What's wrong with feminine?
For me, not so much. For my SO, yes. It's useful so I don't really care how it looks. I'm a function-over-form kind of person.
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Re: Breaking the Gender Binary with Rob Smith | Rob Smith | TEDxCMU

Post by moonshadow »

rode_kater wrote:
Thu Oct 14, 2021 7:29 am
moonshadow wrote:
Thu Oct 14, 2021 12:35 am
rode_kater wrote:
Tue Oct 12, 2021 5:26 pm
My SO gave me a handbag a couple of years ago. It's black square thing with a strap over the shoulder strap so doesn't appear feminine in any way.
What's wrong with feminine?
For me, not so much. For my SO, yes. It's useful so I don't really care how it looks. I'm a function-over-form kind of person.
Well, if the wife is complaining about it then I can certainly understand your comment. Perhaps you should ask her "what's wrong with feminine?"
Faldaguy wrote:
Thu Oct 14, 2021 4:46 am
know this may have been directed at rode kater...but it could apply to a bunch of us.
Yeah I think so. As I've often stated here (and elsewhere) I take no issue in being called feminine. During my younger years I was rather neutral about it, but lately I practically wear it [femininity] as a badge of pride.

In fact I recall a few years ago when a coworker of mine remarked that the fact I openly and proudly wear feminine clothes made me seem masculine, I was almost offended! :lol:

I'm just starting on a book called "Whipping Girl", as I'm just beginning it, I'm not prepared to offer a full review, but so far this woman is speaking my language. It's nice to hear someone finally stand up for "feminine".

Full disclosure, many here probably wouldn't like it, it's definitely written from the trans perspective, and I already know how many here feel about that. But I'm just saying... she's making some good points about femininity and its role in society.

And she's already called out the double standard about how men get ostracized for wearing women's clothes. Much of what I've read thus far could have been quoted right off this site from many of our non-trans members....
"The price of freedom of religion or of speech or of the press is that we must put up with, and even pay for, a good deal of rubbish."

Justice Robert H. Jackson
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Re: Breaking the Gender Binary with Rob Smith | Rob Smith | TEDxCMU

Post by rode_kater »

moonshadow wrote:
Thu Oct 14, 2021 10:47 am
rode_kater wrote:
Thu Oct 14, 2021 7:29 am
moonshadow wrote:
Thu Oct 14, 2021 12:35 am
What's wrong with feminine?
For me, not so much. For my SO, yes. It's useful so I don't really care how it looks. I'm a function-over-form kind of person.
Well, if the wife is complaining about it then I can certainly understand your comment. Perhaps you should ask her "what's wrong with feminine?"
I've asked not quite that question, but a similar one. The answer was: because she was afraid I'd be beaten up by youths.

Now, this is something way outside my experience. We live in a decent country in a decent area. Although I wouldn't say it never happens, it's not common. Certainly I've never felt afraid as such and it's not a possibility that crossed my mind. But it's something from her lived experience which makes her afraid for me.

So that makes it a bit tricky. I don't want to invalidate her feelings but I don't want to be run by them either. My idea is the only way to prove it is safe is to keep doing it. I do think that if more men wore skirts then it'd worry her less, since I wouldn't be the only one she knew.
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Re: Breaking the Gender Binary with Rob Smith | Rob Smith | TEDxCMU

Post by JeffB1959 »

moonshadow wrote:
Thu Oct 14, 2021 10:47 am
rode_kater wrote:
Thu Oct 14, 2021 7:29 am
moonshadow wrote:
Thu Oct 14, 2021 12:35 am


What's wrong with feminine?
For me, not so much. For my SO, yes. It's useful so I don't really care how it looks. I'm a function-over-form kind of person.
Well, if the wife is complaining about it then I can certainly understand your comment. Perhaps you should ask her "what's wrong with feminine?"
Faldaguy wrote:
Thu Oct 14, 2021 4:46 am
know this may have been directed at rode kater...but it could apply to a bunch of us.
Yeah I think so. As I've often stated here (and elsewhere) I take no issue in being called feminine. During my younger years I was rather neutral about it, but lately I practically wear it [femininity] as a badge of pride.

In fact I recall a few years ago when a coworker of mine remarked that the fact I openly and proudly wear feminine clothes made me seem masculine, I was almost offended! :lol:

I'm just starting on a book called "Whipping Girl", as I'm just beginning it, I'm not prepared to offer a full review, but so far this woman is speaking my language. It's nice to hear someone finally stand up for "feminine".

Full disclosure, many here probably wouldn't like it, it's definitely written from the trans perspective, and I already know how many here feel about that. But I'm just saying... she's making some good points about femininity and its role in society.

And she's already called out the double standard about how men get ostracized for wearing women's clothes. Much of what I've read thus far could have been quoted right off this site from many of our non-trans members....
Funny, I've never been ostracized or treated badly for wearing women's clothing, heck, I get complimented for my sense of style, and, on more than one occasion or two, I've had women tell me I look better in skirts and dresses than their girlfriends, or say I wear high heels better than they do. Perhaps I travel in more enlightened circles, who knows.
I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman.
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Re: Breaking the Gender Binary with Rob Smith | Rob Smith | TEDxCMU

Post by moonshadow »

That's 'cause you live and breathe that Philadelphia Freedom Jeff. :wink:
"The price of freedom of religion or of speech or of the press is that we must put up with, and even pay for, a good deal of rubbish."

Justice Robert H. Jackson
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JeffB1959
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Re: Breaking the Gender Binary with Rob Smith | Rob Smith | TEDxCMU

Post by JeffB1959 »

moonshadow wrote:
Fri Oct 15, 2021 4:11 pm
That's 'cause you live and breathe that Philadelphia Freedom Jeff. :wink:
HAHAHA! Absolutely! That's my secret! :lol:
I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman.
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Re: Breaking the Gender Binary with Rob Smith | Rob Smith | TEDxCMU

Post by familyman34 »

re. carrying a bag

I use one all the time - I have to replace them about every 5 years as they wear out with so much use.

The one I've been using for the last 3 years is this one from Decathlon:
https://www.decathlon.co.uk/p/trek-trav ... mc=8492583

The amount of stuff I carry surprises even me:

In the main compariment:
a fairly big wallet (containing coins and two supermarket trolley tokens, banknotes, important receipts, the receipts I get when using an ATM to withdraw cash, my prescription renewal card, some postage stamps, the tool for removing the SIM card from an iPhone and perhaps some other useful stuff)
a smaller folder with 4 credit/debit cards, 6 library cards, a military ID card, my old-person's bus pass, various other membership cards
my mobile phone
2 cloth COVID masks
a sun-hat to protect my balding head (in the summer)
my car and house keys
an internal zipped compartment where I put my driving licence, my cheque-book and, if abroad, my passport

In the smaller compartment at the front:
a swiss army knife, a teaspoon, a small set of nail-clippers (I've got very soft nails and frequently split them), several pencils, an Oyster card (for travel on the tube in London, a screw-driver (flat and Pozidrive), a 2-metre metal measuring tape (essential for checking the sizes of clothes), some cable-ties, an iPod mini, a lip-salve dispenser, some elastic bands

In the small compartment on the left (barely visible in the Decathlon picture):
some plastic carrier bags (ready for any fruit, fungi, etc that I may want to take home when foraging)

In the full-width pocket that runs across the back of the whole bag:
a pair of secateurs (for cutting back nettles, thistles, brambles, branches etc that I find blocking the public footpaths when I'm out walking skirted - see my avatar - I haven't worn a pair of trousers for over three years)

With the weight of all this, the original waist strap was too soft to remain flat, so I replaced it with a much more robust one from an old ruck-sack.
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Re: Breaking the Gender Binary with Rob Smith | Rob Smith | TEDxCMU

Post by Kirbstone »

An impressive list, Fm34. In the old days of course a Gentleman on safari or serious hike would have a team of native bearers carrying all that clobber, leaving one free to wear just a Solar Topee, light safari-suit, a pair of binos, notebook and a stout walking stick.

Tom
Carpe Diem......Seize the Day !
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Re: Breaking the Gender Binary with Rob Smith | Rob Smith | TEDxCMU

Post by Sinned »

r_k, I've never felt unsafe on any of my skirting excursions either, apart from any reaction from my wife should I return and she was at home as opposed to me expecting her to still be out. Of course York is not known for any reactionary or violent incidents. Quite a placid place really. Small too both in terms of geographical size and population for a city.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
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