Whither SkirtCafe?

Discuss recent changes, make suggestions, etc.
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ethelthefrog
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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by ethelthefrog »

I'll attempt to address several points in this post.

First off, in response to Carl's initial post (and Skip's first reply), I am a new member here, having bought my first skirt only a few months ago. I cannot emphasise enough how much of a help Skirt Cafe has been to me. I have been immensely heartened by the stories of "I wore a skirt today and nothing happened." My wife was much reassured by "However, this is NOT a transvestite or crossdresser forum", and that seems to have helped her get her head around the fact that her man wants to wear a skirt. But for Skirt Cafe, I'd have had nowhere to go, no success stories to be inspired by, and none of the "just do it" inspiration that is all over this site.

As far as cross-links to CD/TV sites go, I think that can only be a good thing. Like Milfmog, I found the cafe after much trawling through orthodox CD sites, all the while thinking that is all very well, but it's simply not me. Finding the cafe was like a breath of fresh air. Here is a community that I can embrace fully: I would not fit very well in a CD community and my wife would find it so disconcerting that our marriage would be put at risk. Having a link from CD communities to here would have made finding the cafe rather easier, and could have eased some of the tension in my household a few months back. Having links to CD communities from here shouldn't be a problem either, as long as we make it clear why those links are there.

In summary, keep the Cafe: it's brilliant. I don't see how reciprocal links with CD sites can be bad.

Thank you everyone for being awesome.

Paul

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ethelthefrog
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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by ethelthefrog »

Well, that killed the thread. :?

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Milfmog
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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by Milfmog »

ethelthefrog wrote:Well, that killed the thread. :?
Sure did!

Maybe no one else wants to think about what the café should be doing or how to make it more effective.

Have fun,


Ian (who's probably killed more threads than most people here).
Do not argue with idiots; they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum - Ambrose Bierce

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crfriend
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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by crfriend »

To Paul, and all the others who have commented on this thread, I'd like to say, "Thank you." The fact that the existence of this site has helped you gain confidence in your "fashion sense" is deeply gratifying, and really embodies what the site tries to do in an otherwise confusing world.

As I get time, I'll see what I can put into the site's metadata -- options that people rarely see, but that search engines catalogue very carefully. I owe the inspiration for that notion to Ian, and thanks go to him for it.
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Since1982
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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by Since1982 »

I think it takes a bit more to kill a thread than a few cross purposed responses. I think the thread is alive and well and will remain so. :D :D :D :D

Always remember that there are more skirt wearing men on this planet today than trouser wearing men. IE:I'd say between 75 and 80% of the world's men wear skirts, and skirts over trousers (aka Skirted garments) and think nothing of it, as it's the normal garment for their country. All Muslim countries, All of the Indian/Pakistani Indian Ocean bordering countries, all of the men in the largest (by square miles)country on the planet. In fact the only countries where trousers are the main men's wear are a few European countries, nearly all of the South and North American countries and Canada. That largest (by square miles) country on the planet is Polynesia which covers 3/4ths of the Pacific Ocean, all the countries bordering the Aegean, Sea of Arabia and Red seas, about half of the Mediterranean Sea and all the seas in the cold ends of the planet. Eskimos wear a type of leather kilt in the summer when it's not so cold. :D :D
I had to remove this signature as it was being used on Twitter. This is my OPINION, you NEEDN'T AGREE.

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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by mountain-mug »

While I don't post nearly as often as I should, I visit the forum almost daily. I would be interested in how many unique visitors we have, as compared to how many registered members. It could be a fair number of people visit the site, but for one reason or another don't register. If that is the case, our influence may be greater than would appear from just the number of posts. Any chance of analyzing the log files to gather the numbers?

Mountain-mug

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Skirt Chaser
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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by Skirt Chaser »

Like most things in life I think it is a combination of factors slowing the Cafe down. There is just less material to work with for skirts than hobbies or other interests. Other forums I am on also seem so be dwindling and I think Facebook may be a part of that as people move their friendly chatter there instead of checking in regularly on the forum to catch up. Maybe we would benefit from a Facebook group or cafe page that can show up in our "likes"to point the way here. I agree the Cafe is a valuable resource worth preserving as long as the people who run it wish to.

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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by Big and Bashful »

These days I do check out the cafe at least once a day, if there is a post or thread which I feel I have a contribution to make to, then I do. More often these days, I just have nothing really to say, so I don't.
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Since1982
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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by Since1982 »

Carl said:What we need to bear in mind is that "Orthodox Crossdressing" is about more than the clothes one wears: it's about altering one's mannerisms, voice, and outward appearance to "pass" as (some might less charitably call it "ape") a woman.
This description still fits within the site's "any potential choices" just the same as any other choices, doesn't it? :alien:
I had to remove this signature as it was being used on Twitter. This is my OPINION, you NEEDN'T AGREE.

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I've been skirted part time since 1972 and full time since 2005. http://skirts4men.myfreeforum.org/

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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by crfriend »

Since1982 wrote:
Carl said:What we need to bear in mind is that "Orthodox Crossdressing" is about more than the clothes one wears: it's about altering one's mannerisms, voice, and outward appearance to "pass" as (some might less charitably call it "ape") a woman.
This description still fits within the site's "any potential choices" just the same as any other choices, doesn't it? :alien:
If this horse was still alive I'd really feel for it, but here we go again (viz this post earlier in this thread or this astonishing bit which had to be gavelled down at the end).

It seems that this link on the masthead which leads the reader to a finer level of detail goes wanting for some folks. Specifically, in paragraph two, sentence three, one finds this: "However, this is NOT a transvestite or crossdresser forum. We are committed to a fundamentally masculine gender identity [...]". In my reading, and within the way I was trained to use the written English language, that pretty much rules out (1) fetish (also on "family-friendly" grounds), (2) not trying to remain recognisably male in local context, and (3) outright "trying to pass". The masthead is limited in space; compromises had to be made with it -- which is why the accompanying page was written and linked in.

In short, there comes a "tipping point" where the man is no longer readily recognisable as a man; the unfortunate problem is that "tipping point" is subjectively altered by the whims and life-experiences of the onlooker (and judge). That is why it was not explicitly set forth in black and white. It's grey by nature. If we want to discuss what the tipping-points of each of our members is, then a thread can be started on the matter. Hopefully it won't lead to a flame-war.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!

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jeanfor
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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by jeanfor »

I believe that we have to keep sharing stories and be encouraging to men who are discovering skirts and would like to wear skirts. Many of us may feel fine wearing skirts on a daily basis, but there are still plenty of men who have not tried and need some encouragement. Maybe the issue is to advertise the site better

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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by Liam »

jeanfor wrote:I believe that we have to keep sharing stories and be encouraging to men who are discovering skirts and would like to wear skirts. Many of us may feel fine wearing skirts on a daily basis, but there are still plenty of men who have not tried and need some encouragement.
I just got here, and only found the courage to wear a skirt out in public a few months ago - I hope this forum keeps going, because it has helped me immensely and every positive comment I've read here, is consistent with the experiences I've had out in public - either they don't notice, or don't care. Every comment I've gotten has been positive. I see a few odd expressions on people’s faces, but that's okay. You can't expect any response at all, that wouldn't be natural. :)

My point is just this - I really enjoy hearing the different opinions, and have posted a few queries to see what it would stir up, and got wonderful responses which validated my own feelings and experiences. I hope this forum stays available for years to come, because the younger guys will need some guidance and reassurance that it is much more natural for a man to wear a skirted garment, than restrictive trousers. And when they search (as I did) for information as to why they really dislike the clothes they are expected to wear, they have SkirtCafe to point out there are acceptable alternatives.

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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by Derek Plattis »

I'm afraid I can't agree with the premis of the post which suggests we have proved that men wearing skirts is o.k. and accepted. The last time I went public in a skirt was in the summer of 2009. After many years of apparently problem free skirting, in one day out I got so much ribbing and jeering that it put me right off the idea - or so I thought. I do not want to be a laughing stock, I want acceptance as a man in a skirt but I really don't think that is possible in England today. Most people who see a man in a skirt just laugh, usually silently, inwardly, and move on. Some actually jeer out loud. I was almost convinced that I would not skirt again but last week I discovered a beautiful long black and white skirt in a local charity shop. I just had to buy it. I could not stop myself. I've tried it on at home. It looks and feels marvelous and now I'm seeking the opportunity to wear it publicly - if I still have the nerve.

Keep skirtcafe going! many people like myself still need and value it even though we may not always post regularly

Skirtcafe - Live long and Prosper!

Derek Plattis

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Mugs-n-such
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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by Mugs-n-such »

My two cents worth, responsing to the previous post, for the most part I didn't encounter any negative experiences while publicly skirted, and many positive responses, especially from women (from whom one can also occasionally expect a negative response as well), but I did have one negative experience when I went into the nursing home to visit where I had been a patient: one patient (who was thankfully for me in a wheelchair...made it hard for him to harm me physically) went kinda ballistic when he saw me in a skirt and was yelling things like "get him out of here" etc. Some of the nurses started talking to him and got him settled down, sure wish I knew what they said to him. What surprised me, I was wearing a denim knee length skirt which I thought was similar to a kilt and after having read all the posts about "denim is the invisible fabric" and "they'll just think it's a pair of shorts", etc., I really wasn't expecting any negativity at all. Now I think I may restrict my "public skirt wearing" to genuine kilts, at least until this men's skirt thing catches on which I sure hope it does, and the sooner the better. The more I wear a skirt, the more pants seem boring. As an interesting (to me at least) sidelight, the tunic-wearing Romans thought trousers were barbaric...well I guess I've ranted enough. 'Nuff said! Ciao! (I guess this is more kind of a response to the comments given in the previous post than the general idea of this thread...I hope that's OK... :))

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Re: Whither SkirtCafe?

Post by Since1982 »

the tunic-wearing Romans thought trousers were barbaric.
Hear hear, as a Roman type, I'd make the slaves wear only trousers so they could do all the heavy jobs. :D :D
I had to remove this signature as it was being used on Twitter. This is my OPINION, you NEEDN'T AGREE.

Story of Life, Perspire, Expire, Funeral Pyre!
I've been skirted part time since 1972 and full time since 2005. http://skirts4men.myfreeforum.org/

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