Road to what?

Non-fashion, non-skirt, non-gender discussions. If your post is related to fashion, skirts or gender, please choose one of the forums above for it.
Bob
Barista Emeritus
Posts: 587
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2003 9:31 pm
Location: New England

Post by Bob »

Two questions here:

1. Is this board about skirts & kilts, or about something more general, i.e. fashion freedom?

2. Are tights/painted nails/[your thing here] more femme than skirts?

I'll tackle #2 first. No, I don't believe they are. Skirts cover a wide range of territory, some of which most of us seem to think are pretty masculine, and some of which are so feminine they've never been discussed here. Same with just about any other "fashion freedom" item you might think of. Is nail polish REALLY more femme than that floral print tiered ruffle skirt?

As for #1. It's true, the mission statement doesn't exclude any particular fashion freedom choice. But consultation with the membership and past experience indicated that the skirt is special --- more special, more symbolic, and more interesting than, say, nail polish. Skirts get at the crux of the gender and fashion freedom issues; more than anything else, they're seen as a definingly feminine garment. When women in the military want to show they've maintained their feminine side, they talk about wearing a skirt. If you can conquer the skirt, you've conquered the whole ball of wax.

Also, there are other websites out there for fans of just about every bit of clothing you might be interested in --- knee socks, stockings, curly hair, and surely just about everything else. And while most of them consist mostly of women, they're generally accepting of men. Why no websites for skirts? Maybe because the skirt is such a gigantic and assumed topic, like air, no one quite notices it (with women). It would be like making a website about shirts.

Therefore, I decided that this website should focus on skirts and kilts for men, just as it says in the masthead, but not try to stamp out other discussion. I see it like a planetary system. Skirts are at the center, and related subjects revolve around it. The skirt feeds the other subjects. But in the end we come back to our core topics. And if our center is strong, we won't drift aimlessly.

There was definitely a drift toward the femme after Tom died. There was also concern that with our new name "Skirt Cafe" that the drift would accelerate. Many people, myself included, expressed concern about that. I have taken a number of steps to GENTLY move us back toward the masculine end of things, and I believe that has been working. Especially since putting up the mission statement, I've noticed a significant drop-off in people registering with femme names, while "regular guys" keep joining. Removal of the phrase "men in skirts" also helped. I'm happy for now with the gender direction our community is taking, and I believe that SOME of the men who left for X-marks might be pleasantly surprised if they were to stop back here.
bcmtnbka
Active Member
Posts: 47
Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2003 10:21 am
Location: Burnaby, BC, Canada

Post by bcmtnbka »

Fashion freedom means different thing to different people. We think fashion freedom in terms of wearing skirts or kilts. While some men may feel that their fashion freedom is to wear women's clothing. I think our cafe is trying to narrow it down to something that we can focus on. I have no problem with other men talking about what to be worn under their kilts/skirts, whether it be tights, knee socks or stockings. As long as we use it to define masculinity.

As for make up, I have used and worn make up when I was heavily into the goth scene. It is not a secret at all that I use to wear eye liner, lip stick amd nail polish. I wasn't trying to look fem at all, but trying to define masculinity my way. I don't consider wearing make up as a way for me to look like a girl. I rather, I was trying to attract girls. I was successful in doing that.

As far as I know, this cafe's purpose is to help its partons to be comfortable about who they are. If people on xmarks can talk about what kilt hose or sporran to wear with their kilts, why can't people talk about what knee socks to buy or what bag goes best with his skirts. There is more than just wearing a skirt. It is about how to accessorise it.
Raphael

Chinese Blood, Kilted Heart, One United!

Join my Yahoo Kilts Night Group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/KiltsNight/

My Photo ALbum: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fangfamily

My Blog: http://xingtheline.blogspot.com/
Bravehearts.us
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 177
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2003 9:12 pm

Post by Bravehearts.us »

The only reason things belong to one gender is because of association; the greater the number, the more powerful the association. So, when someone of one gender borrows something from the other questions arise and usually they are about the sexuality of that person, especially when it comes to men. How many male movie stars wear their makeup when they are not in front of the camera? Close to none! How many rock stars wear their makeup when they’re off the stage? Plenty. BUT, it still is so few when it comes to the male population that eye make up still gets associated with females because almost all of them wear it every day. If I wear eye liner on the street, eyebrows are raised. If Johnny Depp, Keith Richards and a bunch of others do, it’s written off as part of their profession and it would be ok for them to be “a little strange”. If every man in the US started wearing bright red shoes, not only would we all go blind (LOL) but it would get boring and uninteresting real fast. If a bunch started wearing them, people would think it is some new fad. Things are only strange to the stranger and familiarity changes perception.
taosit
Member
Posts: 16
Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2006 3:02 am
Location: Texas

Post by taosit »

crfriend wrote: Some will shriek in horror and run for the door at the merest mention that their man might want to dispose of the inseam.
Now that got a needed belly laugh out of me!
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