Male vs. Female Thinking

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crfriend
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Male vs. Female Thinking

Post by crfriend »

I just got my arse schooled this evening during a conversation about the current situation with power and road access to our neighbourhood. By a housemate.

Set the stage: I was coming home from my local where I'd had a delightful outdoor meal watching clouds, feeling breezes, and just generally being outside -- whilst studying some things related to computer history (specifically, MASSBUS timings and handshaking). I paused in the driveway to chat with a housemate who asked for the latest details on the situation with power and road access. I filled in the picture with what I had in my memory down to details -- and got castigated for it. All she was interested in was, "Can I get down the hill tomorrow?" and then went into a rant about my explanation which explained precisely what all the delays and current status was pertaining to returning everything to full function. I was informed that I "insulted her" by not understanding her not needing to know details. In other words, to her if the magic works it's good enough and she doesn't need to know how the magic works. (This amidst of being admonished that she was reading about vaccination protocols in dogs and the negative consequences, whilst not being vaccinated against SARS-CoV-2 herself. Q-Anon anybody?)

This harks back to my first romantic entanglement in the late '70s and early '80s who was the same way. If the magic works, it's fine and I don't need to know any more.

I suspect this impinges directly on our problems with partners as the partners are content with the magic as they've always known it, and now that it's breaking down cannot deal with it rationally.

"Can I get down the hill tomorrow?". Yes. Don't try too hard to get back up. (I happened to help pull a few obstructions from the power-feed conduit free when the little backhoe that was supplying "tractor service" needed to reposition and I noticed that the slack was coming out of the conduit in a way that could be manually hauled upon by a sailor and made to move. Didn't matter a whit.)

You can't fix stupid. If all you wanted to know is "Can I get down the hill tomorrow" why did you ask for details? (And then accost me when I provided detail.)

Men are expected to be able to act cogently in times of adversity to reduce risk or otherwise better things. And then to give up their spots on the lifeboats if it all goes to Hell. I am not amused.
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

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I run into this with my sister from time to time. She'll ask me "why" and when I go into lengthy explanations I'll be told, "Well, the reason I asked was ______. I don't really need to know why.". And then I'm dumbfounded and left there feeling like an idiot. Not always, but often enough I'm hesitant to explain things unless I'm really pressed for details.

My tactic now with her - I'll give her a stupid simple answer, "Because" or "Yes" and if that elicits further questions I'll answer them - but I'll make her drive my conversation by asking questions before I offer much else.

And a former coworker - she'll occasionally ask me one question - "Why does a computer do ________?" and when I start explaining it I get a "No, I just wanted to know if I should change a setting". Yeah.

Since I work with engineers/programmers/etc... they rarely shut detailed explanations down... male and female alike... and I think I communicate with just three people frequently (very small social circle) outside of work, so I'm hesitant to draw conclusions yet :D but I sense a trend.
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

Post by moonshadow »

Curious, what was the age of the woman?

I've noticed that many in the younger generation ( under 30) seem to have very short attention spans, nor are the interested in "the magic" by any measurable account.

I miss having the long talks with older men. Seems some of the best ones have started to die off. :blue: And I've even carried on a few deep conversations whist skirted, though it's been a while.
crfriend wrote:
Thu Jun 24, 2021 10:50 pm
Men are expected to be able to act cogently in times of adversity to reduce risk or otherwise better things. And then to give up their spots on the lifeboats if it all goes to Hell. I am not amused.
If I've done my job well, I wouldn't find myself of a sinking ship to begin with.

Anyway, if I had a nickel for every time someone walked off on me or picked up their phone and started thubbing it while I was talking, I could have retired a wealthy man ten years ago.
"The price of freedom of religion or of speech or of the press is that we must put up with, and even pay for, a good deal of rubbish."

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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

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Coder wrote:
Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:28 pm
My tactic now with her - I'll give her a stupid simple answer, "Because" or "Yes" and if that elicits further questions I'll answer them - but I'll make her drive my conversation by asking questions before I offer much else.
Yeah, give her the "stupid answer" and you're insulting her intelligence and being condescending... of you give her the "intelligent answer" then you're "man-splaining"


Can't win fer losin' :roll:
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

Post by Coder »

moonshadow wrote:
Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:39 pm
Coder wrote:
Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:28 pm
My tactic now with her - I'll give her a stupid simple answer, "Because" or "Yes" and if that elicits further questions I'll answer them - but I'll make her drive my conversation by asking questions before I offer much else.
Yeah, give her the "stupid answer" and you're insulting her intelligence and being condescending... of you give her the "intelligent answer" then you're "man-splaining"


Can't win fer losin' :roll:
LOL! Thankfully she's not THAT bad - she'd never accuse me of mansplaining - but at work I'm deathly afraid of saying the wrong thing - makes my life miserable sometimes and frankly tones down my creativity a bit - but has kept me free of any negative coworker experiences.
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

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moonshadow wrote:
Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:35 pm
Curious, what was the age of the woman?
She's a few weeks older than I am -- so close as to be indistinguishable.
I've noticed that many in the younger generation ( under 30) seem to have very short attention spans, nor are the interested in "the magic" by any measurable account.
I suspect it's more pervasive than you might think. Note the derogatory term "mansplaining".
I miss having the long talks with older men. Seems some of the best ones have started to die off. :blue: And I've even carried on a few deep conversations whist skirted, though it's been a while.
I'm good pals with a few guys my senior, but they are dwindling in number -- for the same reason that I will "fall off the edge" as well. I truly wish I'd cultivated those sorts of relationships when I was in my 20s and some of the really interesting types were still alive. I routinely kick myself for that error in judgement.
If I've done my job well, I wouldn't find myself of a sinking ship to begin with.
It's usually not sinking when it leaves harbour. It's misfortune following that.... The point is is that one never knows when the **it is going to hit the fan, and then it's up to everybody to do their level best to get out of it alive.
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

Post by Kirbstone »

A disturbing read, Carl. How well did/do you know this woman? Frankly anyone who chooses to be unpleasant to you quite obviously has other personal issues smouldering not far beneath the surface.

My tuppence worth would be to studiously avoid that individual for the foreseeable. We could all do without that sort of thing.

Tom
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

Post by Freedomforall »

I find this very interesting because in my relationship with my wife I am like the woman and she is like you Carl. I often ask questions and my wife goes into long detailed explanations which sometimes lead into other tangents. We and others have both often noted that I am like the woman and she is like the man in this relationship.
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

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Kirbstone wrote:
Fri Jun 25, 2021 4:39 am
A disturbing read, Carl. How well did/do you know this woman? Frankly anyone who chooses to be unpleasant to you quite obviously has other personal issues smouldering not far beneath the surface.
We live under the same roof, and I occasionally look after her ageing cat when she's away.

I just cannot understand people who are not innately curious about the world around them and who strive to understand it. I guess that for some, if the magic works that's all that's required. {sigh}

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDCxwP3V10I
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

Post by denimini »

I am not sure where the male versus female comes from. Yes, certainly in this case it was a female with an disinterest in logic and reasoning but there are plenty of males out there with a similar disinterest. Many are nice people, some are artists whom I admire their work and I help them out with solving practical problems and using technology (making the magic work). I often wonder it that lack of logical thinking (and perhaps it's distractions) that enable and enhance their creative ability. Conversley I have known a few female scientists and engineers who I struggled with keeping up with their sharp analytical thinking.

As an architect I try and get both hemispheres involved and working together.

Rudeness afflicts many regardless of gender and there seems no upside to that.
Anthony, a denim miniskirt wearer in Outback Australia
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

Post by moonshadow »

It's kinda funny you mentioned that Anthony...

I just finished setting up some kind of label printer with one of our customers, and this was the first time we've ever dealt with one of these units.

There was myself (the tech), a younger woman (early 20s) am older woman (about to retire) and a mid aged (50s) man.

As I installed the unit, little issues arose (as they always tend to do), the younger woman was like a dog with a bone, she was a BIG help, the older woman was not eager to engage the unit, but she did at least pay attention and ask questions.

The older man wouldn't do a thing, he didn't even want to know how to load labels into the thing....

Incidentally, once we figured the unit out, the older woman seemed like she couldn't get enough of it...

The older man still has yet to touch it.

Guess it's not a gender thing, or even an age thing...

I guess some people are just like that...

My branch manager is a female, and I know she'll tackle any problem.
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

Post by pelmut »

moonshadow wrote:
Fri Jun 25, 2021 3:15 pm
The older man still has yet to touch it.
He probably thinks it is beneath him and the two women will do it for him, thus demonstrating how important he is.
There is no such thing as a normal person, only someone you don't know very well yet.
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

Post by Ralph »

denimini wrote:
Fri Jun 25, 2021 12:36 pm
I am not sure where the male versus female comes from. Yes, certainly in this case it was a female with an disinterest in logic and reasoning but there are plenty of males out there with a similar disinterest.
That's exactly what I came here to write. Be very careful going down the road (see what I did there?) of assuming the behaviour of one specific case sets an example for a large population who all share that one person's characteristics (race, sex, nationality, etc.) That way lies bigotry.

Has she established a pattern demonstrating that she always responds that way? She may have just been over the brink of frustration and you happened to be the nearest target when she finally couldn't hold it in. I've blown up inappropriately a few times at some innocent bystander.

Or perhaps she really is just a twit :wink:
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

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Ralph wrote:
Fri Jun 25, 2021 4:33 pm
Has she established a pattern demonstrating that she always responds that way? She may have just been over the brink of frustration and you happened to be the nearest target when she finally couldn't hold it in. I've blown up inappropriately a few times at some innocent bystander.
I actually suspect it's a blend of the two. There are distinct hints that she has a disdain for technological detail and just wants the magic to work, but it was the vehemence of the comeback yesterday that caught me off guard. I was just trying to be helpful -- she did ask what new news there was -- and then WHAM! I'm hit by fury when I tried filling her in on the details and future timings.

Ignorance is trivially cured, but when it's wilful ... well, ya can't fix stupid.
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Re: Male vs. Female Thinking

Post by Fred in Skirts »

I think these show the way of the woman's mind vs the man's mind quite clearly.
minds.jpg
mind 2.jpg
mind 3.jpg
Ducking and running away.......... :lol: :lol: :lol:
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