A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby crfriend » Sun Jun 09, 2019 1:46 am

oldsalt1 wrote:If you want to ban me from posting fine . But I find Dillions last flurry of comments extremely insulting and are a direct personal attack on members of the café who have a different point of view.

I'm not planning on banning anybody at the moment. What I'm hoping for is a cessation of posting of obviously incendiary bits and also a cessation of the passive-aggressive whinging about taking offence. Both are egregious in nature. Please stop.

I nuked the image in question -- and I take responsibility for that -- not because I was offended by it, but rather because it served no practical purpose other than to stoke hostility. I do not like doing this simply because it smacks of authoritarianism. However, I feel the need to attempt to keep things civil here, even if it seems from time to time that that's a rear-guard action.

The world is a messy place. Grow a thicker skin or forever feel the thousand cuts of a typical day -- and it's only going to get worse. Please, let's not pollute this space.
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby moonshadow » Sun Jun 09, 2019 3:50 am

Come on guys, lets cool it. Things were getting a little heated and sometimes when a pot is boiling over you have to kill the heat for a while.

Listen, I realize I'm just as guilty as the next guy, but I have to admit, when I am not thinking about the state of the world and the people who are currently running it, I do seem to be more at peace with myself and I seem to enjoy life more.

Man these political discussions, they are basically useless. I mean think about it, do you honestly think the powers that be give a damn what we think?

No. So let it rest.

I have no issue playing by the rules. Lets leave politics to Facebook and YouTube where it belongs....
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby JennC03 » Sun Jun 09, 2019 3:59 am

I'll give my input.When we discuss things on the internet we all must first respect each other.Understand that the way you view something is completely different in how others view it.There's many that reside in different states and countries.Just because you're not dealing with hatred when you're out and about in skirts doesn't mean that the person you're replying to isn't catching hell in their area or state.Therefore you can't relate to what they're dealing with unless you're from the same area.

The reason why people are feuding on the forums and can't be civil when regarding to Politics is because people are too opinionated. No one gets we all were born with opinions.Instead everyone wants the last word.Everyone wants everyone to agree with them.When you don't people let what others say get the best of them which ruins it for everyone. If you're going to talk about Politics, Religion, etc you must respect that everyone will have a different view. After all we have different political views as well as religion.Learn to agree to disagree and not let you get so wrapped up in your own views that you can't explore and understand others. We are all adults and should be able to have pleasant discussions about anything rather than keeping the Moderators on limbo and waiting to lock threads. Not everyone likes the President. Sorry not aiming to offend but it's our choice not to just as much as it's yours to support him. Stop trying to force your ways on others. Everyone is different. I personally think if people followed what I've written things would run smoothly. It's not that people don't want to hear about Politics it's the complaining and fights that put people off from wanting to waste time reading a thread. This will also turn people away from engaging in skirting threads too. Just my thoughts on the matter.
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby oldsalt1 » Sun Jun 09, 2019 11:04 am

My final, final ,final, final comments My original points were that this forum was not the place for political discussion and finally you can disagree without the disrespect
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby Sinned » Sun Jun 09, 2019 11:45 am

I agree with others that the Brexit thread should be unlocked. It was nowhere near getting to that state of uncivility ( incivility, discivility? ) that it warranted locking. True I am for the exit party but I also appreciate that half of our real are not and we are all entitled to our opinion. You over int eh US cannot appreciate what a divisive issue Europe is at the moment and, I suspect, that whatever the outcome over the next few months some may want to have a "worms-eye view" of the events without media bias.
No, I don't enjoy it when things get personal and agree that at that point the hammer should be brought down but things were nowhere near that. Debate is challenging, enjoyable and stimulating. I do like hearing of each others' exploits with dresses and skirt, the pictures of the ensembles and so on but would tire of a site offering just that. I have learnt a lot about what life is like in other climes, particularly our former colony and much more about the political shenanigans that are NOT in the media over here. Your talk about the exploits of particular aspects of your constitution and politicians have piqued my interest and I have done further reading to understand your perspectives. Something that would not have happened had it not been for the to-fro posts.

To be honest, what I consider to be bits of a draconian measures such as this would diminish my interest in this site. So moderate away to your hear's content but you will certainly lose the interest of this one member and my visits would become less frequent.
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby dillon » Sun Jun 09, 2019 1:07 pm

"Since my president is the chief target of Dillions political views , I guess my retorts to his insidious remarks makes me the other half of the offending duo.

If you want to ban me from posting fine . But I find Dillions last flurry of comments extremely insulting and are a direct personal attack on members of the café who have a different point of view.

My question to the moderators is when does he stop"

"My final, final ,final, final comments My original points were that this forum was not the place for political discussion and finally you can disagree without the disrespect"


As I said in a previous post, I don't get to make policy here, so I now stand duly silenced on the matter of politics.

However, I do not believe I should be silenced when I feel I am being misrepresented. I think any member has a natural right to stand in his own defense.

I believe I posted political opinions in the political threads that existed, and in non-fashion fora. The member quoted above has stated that it is his view that politics have no place in these fora. My question for the member is this: Do you mean ALL politics? Or only MY politics? Because I do not recall observing similar admonitions of "not the place for politics" issued to those whose political comments favored the member's apparent POV. Forgive me if I inadvertently overlooked them.

As for taking comments as "personal attacks," if I called this member, or any other, out by name then I do owe a significant apology. I do not recall doing so. But if the member means that he takes ANY criticism of the "politics du jour" as a personal attack or disrespect, well, I'm afraid that is an entirely different problem.

I suppose that I hoped, in futility, that men with points of view different from my own would articulate those views, defend those beliefs, address the criticisms. So far, that defense has taken the form of gagging others. Forgive my bluntness, but if a man has nothing to say, why must he object to other men who do?

I think there is enough else to read in the Cafe that one could, if he wished, simply skip posts that he feels may be upsetting, especially when he holds the posting member in low regard, as the quoted member seems to for "yours truly." I take no offense at being ignored.
Last edited by dillon on Sun Jun 09, 2019 1:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby crfriend » Sun Jun 09, 2019 1:15 pm

Moon called it here, we need to shut the heat off for a bit.

Let's give it a week or so. We've had better luck with the Brexit thread than we did for the various US-based ones, and this may be down to the civility that seems inherent to the inhabitants of the Old World versus the New. In a week or so, I'll unlock the Brexit thread with the stipulation that there should be no trans-oceanic contamination.

Patience.
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby denimini » Sun Jun 09, 2019 1:34 pm

I don't believe the problem is subject matter; it is about maintaining respect for others.
Usually one interest in common is sufficient motivation for people to have respect for each other, which I think is generally the case here.

There is always the scenario of someone having a bad day, typing madly and pressing submit. We all have the option of not reacting.
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby crfriend » Sun Jun 09, 2019 2:05 pm

denimini wrote:I don't believe the problem is subject matter; it is about maintaining respect for others.

In this specific case it's a combination of the two. Due to the current political climate in the USA virtually everyone is offended in one way or another, and with everybody ready to go off half-cocked over anything they even perceive to be offensive, it's gone entirely toxic. This makes rational discourse impossible because virtually anything can be considered inflammatory or downright incendiary; otherwise-rational people react from the gut rather than the mind and it spirals down the tubes. That latter part is where politics starts taking on the trappings of religion.

There are valid reasons why politics and religion have long been held as incompatible with civil discussion.
Usually one interest in common is sufficient motivation for people to have respect for each other, which I think is generally the case here.

There is always the scenario of someone having a bad day, typing madly and pressing submit. We all have the option of not reacting.

Indeed, and that usually works -- up until it doesn't. Hence my repeated pleas for rational discourse and behaviour, which has had all the effect of me howling in the wilderness.
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby JennC03 » Sun Jun 09, 2019 2:43 pm

Well guys I'm going to take a break off the Cafe for awhile.Get ahold of Moon if you want my skirting input. I wish you well but can't deal with the drama of these forums.Take care.
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby moonshadow » Sun Jun 09, 2019 2:50 pm

Well, as was indicated earlier, it's not going to get any better elsewhere on the internet. The whole world wide web as turned into a mental sewer. The only thing I do online is keep up with my banking, visit this website, and occasionally research something. I do sometimes watch videos of subjects that interest me. I try to avoid the politically polarizing content though. It annoys me because YouTube is always trying to bait me into watching some far right or far left video. Pinterest was bad for this too... I "pin" one photo of the "right wing and the left wing being part of the same bird", and suddenly the site thinks I'm a flat Earther (no really...) and starts suggesting some of the most ridiculous stuff I've ever seen.

I take some of the responsibility for planting the "political seed" here on this website and I regret it. I live in an area that is so red you can strike a fire off it, and about as religiously tolerant as the middle east, and is has made my practice of skirt wearing an interesting challenge to put it mildly.. Thus I would come on here and rant and rave about this or that, one things leads to another, and here we sit. Carl and Uncle Al would have been in their right to call me down a long time ago, but they didn't. Maybe they should have. To this day they still haven't directly done so to me personally, so I'm just going to have to take the initiative myself and be a part of the solution instead of the problem.

I know in the past I've said some things that likely offended some members, but they remained quiet. I've always had a "love-hate" relationship with the Christian religion as a whole, and I've expressed both sides of this here from time to time. I realize many members here are of the Christian faith, and I don't think I've ever been called down by any of them, in fact, they usually just let me be to get it out of my system and once I'm finished, they still seem to be polite and respectful towards me. Very Christ like indeed. In fact, many of the Christian members here have kept me from going on somewhat of an "anti-religious war path" many times, and in fact has lightened my heart in many ways.

So before THIS thread gets locked too... let me say that I appreciate those who turned the other cheek when I might have said offensive things over the years, and if I did offend, know that it was not my intention, and I do offer a complete apology. If a local flat out hits me over the head with a bible for my skirt wearing, I'll probably mention it, but I'll try to just keep it the facts of the matter.

As for politics, who the hell knows. Maybe we'll still be free tomorrow, maybe we wont. Doesn't really matter either way, it is what it is. But I'm going to enjoy as much of my life as I can, because liberty may never expire, but one thing is for certain, I certainly will, and I want to live as much as I can before I kick the bucket.
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby Kirbstone » Sun Jun 09, 2019 11:13 pm

Ah yes, Brexit!
Got down to our Kerry bolthole a day ahead of the Posse and the place looked like it had been abandoned. Serious grass cutting ahead and the wet didn't help, but what a joy for me to tuck into the illustrated, which required almost no preparation, which is how I like it.

Coffee & brown soda bread, two soft-boiled eggs and an avocado with king prawns & a dash of mayo.

Brought two unbifurcated items down, both with nice deep pockets, a brown cord mini and a 'golfing' skort, which is a demure-length mini which happens to have hidden short shorts beneath. Very comfy.

Tom
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby moonshadow » Sun Jun 09, 2019 11:21 pm

Looking at the view won't get rid of those weeds on the drive and wilderness elsewhere.


Indeed, looking at grass won't get it to cut itself.... I should know, I've tried it... :alien:
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby Brad » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:34 am

I remember when our flame wars were over topics like braveheart vs freestyles. Or if a kilt is a type of skirt. And I have battle scars from those flame wars. How times have changed.
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Re: A warning to the Cafe' members - Please Read

Postby Gusto10 » Tue Jun 11, 2019 6:21 am

Seeing that the Brexit thread was locked and seemingly also having missed the remark which let the hamer fall, all I would like to bring forward without getting into retrospect, that I found the discussion quit interesting as the forum gives the possibility of Global input. Thus the information provided by the media can be supplemented by information of those nearer to the sources of the "problem". There is a very thin line between the objective and subjective point of view, and what one might consider just as horsing around ( E.g. May falls in June this year) may be considered by another as stepping on toes.
One of the biggest problems with a virtual Cafe is that one can't see the facial expressions, hence misinterpretation can be done (to) swiftly. Simple things like the pronunciation of e.g. potato may lead to misunderstanding. Not withstanding the grasp of the English language of whom it's not the native language.
If my remarks have contributed also to the hamer movement, I do apologise. May I suggest that the moderators inform in the future the potential "culprit" on a 1:1 basis of their intention prior to action?
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