Is this just a southern mannerism?

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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby dillon » Tue Mar 26, 2019 2:34 am

The problem with stereotyping people, especially North/South, Rural/Urban, is that you are basing your belief on a snapshot, without really knowing someone’s heart and mind. Sometimes people falter for words, sometimes what comes out an insult was merely an inarticulate attempt to connect by someone who lacks the vocabulary of sensitivity. We would behoove civility and community by taking a breath and reading intent. I fear we have become a hypersensitive country now, and we cannot hope to exist as a society that scrutinizes every uttered word or remark. Be sensitive to others, encourage sensitivity in others, but understand humans have foibles...and above all, forgive.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby moonshadow » Tue Mar 26, 2019 2:43 am

Golden comment dillon!

dillon wrote: I fear we have become a hypersensitive country now, and we cannot hope to exist as a society that scrutinizes every uttered word or remark.


I don't think it's near as bad in meat space as it is on the internet. To echo a similar statement Carl has mentioned in the past, if I took to heart everything I read online about the nature of my region.... good God I'd never leave the house with a skirt on!
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Dust » Wed Mar 27, 2019 12:27 pm

crfriend wrote:
Dust wrote:Many people seem to want to think of themselves as moderate. I've heard both sides say that their current positions were considered moderate until recently, but society has shifted the other way. I'm sure you can "prove" this either way if you cherry pick the right issues and the right point in history to go back to.

It's not a question of "cherry-picking" at all. In the late '70s I was widely regarded as being "slightly right of centre". With the arrival of the neo-con in 1980 all of a sudden I found myself judged as "leftist" -- through no change in my own personal opinions. I remain a hard-nosed pragmatist, but with the transformation of what was my country from a republic to an oligarchy those same views are now seen as radically leftist. Sometimes the ground under one's feet does shift without the individual lifting a foot.

Study history, for those who do not are doomed to repeat it -- and the worst of it at that.

Perhaps "cherry-picking" was the wrong turn off phrase.

I have no reason to doubt that your positions on the issues that matter to you, you have gone from being considered right of center to being thought of as leftist in the transition from the 70's to the 80's.

My point is that there are so many issues, and the supposed "center" for each of them is constantly shifting, and shifting somewhat independently of the "center" for other issues. So depending on which issues you look at, you could validly argue that society has moved both left and right at the same time.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Dust » Wed Mar 27, 2019 1:08 pm

moonshadow wrote:Golden comment dillon!

dillon wrote: I fear we have become a hypersensitive country now, and we cannot hope to exist as a society that scrutinizes every uttered word or remark.


I don't think it's near as bad in meat space as it is on the internet. To echo a similar statement Carl has mentioned in the past, if I took to heart everything I read online about the nature of my region.... good God I'd never leave the house with a skirt on!

Right, Moon. People aren't near as bad face-to-face.

Part of it is misunderstandings. A lot of things that affect how we interpret words are lost as text. Voice inflection, cadence, tone of voice, body language, and more can all play a part in our understanding of another person's words. Sarcasm gets lost, jokes misconstrued, and everyone gets offended in cyberspace. The closer we are to a real face-to-face conversation, the better we can understand each other. I always try to have my most important conversations that way, or as close as I can to it.

Anonymity also seems to give people license to be jerks, and not seeing someone's face tends to make them easier to dehumanize. The old "come here and say that to my face" is for this very reason. Saying terrible things about someone is harder when you need to look at them, and be seen by them doing it.

And actually getting to know people and where they are coming from makes a huge difference in how we view them. Talking to someone makes them a person instead of a stereotype. And positions you disagree with can make a lot more sense once you know why someone holds them.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Fred in Skirts » Wed Mar 27, 2019 8:08 pm

Everyone has a right to take offense at something!

And these days everyone does! So no matter what you say or how you say it someone is going to get their "widdle feelwings" hurt! :lol: :lol:

I have been told that I am a very mean SOB, Why because I call a spade a spade and let the chips fall as they might. I try to be as honest as I can when making comments even on the Cafe. Sometimes that can cause hurt feelings even if not intended. As has been said I could say the same thing to your face and it not be thought of as being mean. When we put something down in written form no one can hear what you are saying so has to take it at what looks like face value.

Which is why I like the "SMILIES" and tend to try to use them to express the mood of what I am saying. It does help!!

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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Dust » Wed Mar 27, 2019 11:05 pm

Yeah, Fred, smilies do help. People can be offended all they want, just don't go claiming a right not to be offended, and try to shut the rest of us up with it. No such right exists.

I read somewhere though, that the original :) was supposed to signify sarcasm at first... That didn't work.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby STEVIE » Thu Mar 28, 2019 5:14 pm

Dust wrote:Yeah, Fred, smilies do help. People can be offended all they want, just don't go claiming a right not to be offended, and try to shut the rest of us up with it. No such right exists.

Hi Dust,
I'm not trying to be pedantic or deliberately obtuse but I read this as a licence to be deliberately offensive.
Please feel free to correct me.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby moonshadow » Thu Mar 28, 2019 7:29 pm

I dont know about others but I've been known to offend a few people in my life. Very few things truly offend me personally. Sure I'm offended by the state of the world and how ridiculous things are getting, but that's nothing I'm taking personally.

People can say whatever they want about me.

It doesn't bother me because there quite literally is very little in humanity that I actually take seriously.

Some laugh at me when I wear skirts.... hell, I've been laughing at the world for a lot longer than that. It's like when a retarded person calls you "stupid".... you're not offended because you know they're retarded. :wink:
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby crfriend » Thu Mar 28, 2019 10:53 pm

moonshadow wrote:Some laugh at me when I wear skirts.... hell, I've been laughing at the world for a lot longer than that. It's like when a retarded person calls you "stupid".... you're not offended because you know they're retarded. :wink:

This is best summed up with the observation of, "You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same."
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby moonshadow » Fri Mar 29, 2019 12:20 am

crfriend wrote:
moonshadow wrote:Some laugh at me when I wear skirts.... hell, I've been laughing at the world for a lot longer than that. It's like when a retarded person calls you "stupid".... you're not offended because you know they're retarded. :wink:

This is best summed up with the observation of, "You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same."


Yeah, pretty much.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby lazerr » Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:01 am

WOW. What about old spice. That can't be gay??? can it? :lol:
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Dust » Sun Mar 31, 2019 3:12 am

STEVIE wrote:
Dust wrote:Yeah, Fred, smilies do help. People can be offended all they want, just don't go claiming a right not to be offended, and try to shut the rest of us up with it. No such right exists.

Hi Dust,
I'm not trying to be pedantic or deliberately obtuse but I read this as a licence to be deliberately offensive.
Please feel free to correct me.
Steve.

Yes, it is. That said, if you choose to go down that path, there will likely be consequences.

People have the right to be offensive, and I have the right to not associate with them. But I don't have the right to shut them up. It's the old: "I don't agree with what you are saying, but I'll defend your right to say it."

If we can't let people say what we disagree with, we can't debate them. If we have reason behind our positions, we should be able to defend them. Ideas that are just forbidden to discuss will not get disproven, and people will believe them as a result, since they will find them and not see counter-arguments. Only by discussing and disproving them will we stop them from spreading. But that takes a lot more work than simply forbidding discussion, which is why it doesn't happen enough.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby STEVIE » Sun Mar 31, 2019 5:33 am

Hi Dust and thanks, the explanation reads a whole lot better to me anyway.
I know full well that I "offend" some folks on a daily basis.
Family and certain colleagues have gone as far as to spell out exactly how much.
I don't see that as being "deliberately offensive" though and I just feel that the problem belongs to them and not me.
On the odd occasion, I may also have opened up some closed minds by quiet force too.
An old saying springs to mind, "you cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs" and on that note I am just going to rustle up some breakfast, fried eggs in a bagel perhaps.
Then it's up and out for Sunday morning coffee.
Steve,
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby mishawakaskirt » Tue Apr 02, 2019 2:12 pm

Wow, I have heard alot of "they must be gay" things including hair styles, earrings, dapper clothing, just to name a few. But Cologne? Then most everyone here was gay and didn't know it.

I wonder how she would react to a comment such as "dem women that wear those blue jeans, theys surely gots to be one of those lesbian folk"

It's amazing in a bad way what people come up with to label other people.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Freedomforall » Tue Apr 02, 2019 8:23 pm

mishawakaskirt wrote:Wow, I have heard alot of "they must be gay" things including hair styles, earrings, dapper clothing, just to name a few. But Cologne? Then most everyone here was gay and didn't know it.

I wonder how she would react to a comment such as "dem women that wear those blue jeans, theys surely gots to be one of those lesbian folk"

It's amazing in a bad way what people come up with to label other people.



Oh my!!! That is absolutely hilarious!!
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