Is this just a southern mannerism?

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Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Freedomforall » Thu Mar 21, 2019 1:43 am

I was talking to my neighbor today who is a female. She is a few years older than me and has never been married. She has the stereotypical southern dialect. She has seen me wearing kilts and skirts with never a mention. Today she was relating a story to me about a relative of hers who had asked his wife for a particular brand of cologne. My neighbor literally stated this, "If a man around me ever wore cologne I would have to think he was gay."
I almost fell over when she said this. I wondered for a few seconds what her thoughts on me wearing skirts were. I still had my work uniform on at the time and it was not an issue at the moment. I am always amazed at the narrow minded beliefs people here have.

So, my question to members is this. Is this just a southern thing, or does it happen every where? I am speaking specifically on the seeming narrow minded beliefs that many in the south seem to have.
Last edited by Freedomforall on Thu Mar 21, 2019 4:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby denimini » Thu Mar 21, 2019 3:49 am

Conservatism exists everywhere.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Freedomforall » Thu Mar 21, 2019 4:05 am

denimini wrote:Conservatism exists everywhere.


No kidding! Thank you, although I am not sure I would call this a conservative issue. One could argue that scents for men have been around since the beginning of time. Personally I think "conservatism" is often sheer ignorance.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Freedomforall » Thu Mar 21, 2019 4:08 am

denimini wrote:Conservatism exists everywhere.



I was specifically speaking on the narrow minded beliefs that many seem to hold in the south. I am fairly confident this exists everywhere. It just seems rampant in the south. It is no wonder southerners are the cusp of jokes.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby denimini » Thu Mar 21, 2019 4:56 am

Freedomforall wrote:
denimini wrote:Conservatism exists everywhere.



I was specifically speaking on the narrow minded beliefs that many seem to hold in the south. I am fairly confident this exists everywhere. It just seems rampant in the south. It is no wonder southerners are the cusp of jokes.

I know what you mean. In Australia it seems to be in the north. Some towns are worse that others. At one such country town, renowned for it's conservatism, I stopped with trepidation to do some shopping (in a mini skirt) but had no bad reactions, so I thought if I can wear a skirt there I can wear one anywhere.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Gusto10 » Thu Mar 21, 2019 6:58 am

Various possibilities:
- Maybe an expression of her total attitude which is the reason for being unmarried,
- An indirect stab at you.

I guess you are the judge as you might know how open she is on more general subjects.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Sinned » Thu Mar 21, 2019 12:14 pm

Bigotry or narrow-mindedness exists everywhere. I had a customer a couple of days ago say that my wearing a skirt disgusted her. MOH has a negative issue with my skirts which permeates most of the rest of my family to an extent. I don't think that they would be as opposed, if at all, if MOH was more accepting. I think that they agree with her to keep the peace and because it's what they are expected to think.

As to wearing cologne or even a woman's perfume, I wouldn't dismiss it if I liked the smell enough. I have worn a dab or two of some of MOH's milder scents without her knowing. She once said that she liked the after-shave I was wearing not knowing and asked what it was. I just said that I couldn't remember. Could have been a sticky moment.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Fred in Skirts » Thu Mar 21, 2019 6:53 pm

I do believe she has shown the reason she never married, as far as she is concerned any man who wears an after shave scent or even a cologne is gay. And with that attitude of course she never married. The narrow mindedness is world wide not just in the south. But it is easier to point it out as most southerners I know usually just speak their minds or what little minds they have left after all of the lead loaded moonshine they drink. Bless their hearts!! :lol: :lol:
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Freedomforall » Thu Mar 21, 2019 10:38 pm

Sinned wrote:Bigotry or narrow-mindedness exists everywhere. I had a customer a couple of days ago say that my wearing a skirt disgusted her. MOH has a negative issue with my skirts which permeates most of the rest of my family to an extent. I don't think that they would be as opposed, if at all, if MOH was more accepting. I think that they agree with her to keep the peace and because it's what they are expected to think.

As to wearing cologne or even a woman's perfume, I wouldn't dismiss it if I liked the smell enough. I have worn a dab or two of some of MOH's milder scents without her knowing. She once said that she liked the after-shave I was wearing not knowing and asked what it was. I just said that I couldn't remember. Could have been a sticky moment.


Dennis I enjoyed the bit of humor in your story. Oh the irony of smelling her own cologne and not even recognizing it. That says so much. Thank you for sharing. You insightful thoughts are always joyfully appreciated.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Freedomforall » Thu Mar 21, 2019 10:42 pm

Fred in Skirts wrote:I do believe she has shown the reason she never married, as far as she is concerned any man who wears an after shave scent or even a cologne is gay. And with that attitude of course she never married. The narrow mindedness is world wide not just in the south. But it is easier to point it out as most southerners I know usually just speak their minds or what little minds they have left after all of the lead loaded moonshine they drink. Bless their hearts!! :lol: :lol:


I agree bigotry seems so much more recognizable in the south. We went to Seattle for Christmas to visit relatives. I received many compliments on my skirts. One lady was shocked when she found out where I was from. She expressed concern for my safety wearing them in such a "backwards" state. I am so ready to start a skirt island. We can all go live there and feel freedom at it's finest.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby Taj » Thu Mar 21, 2019 10:53 pm

The contemporary term is toxic masculinity. It doesn't seem limited to region, or gender for that matter. You can find "good ol' boys" and their counterparts everywhere. I'd wager that it's more visible in deep backwater cultures, but just as present in boardrooms.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby crfriend » Thu Mar 21, 2019 11:32 pm

Taj wrote:The contemporary term is toxic masculinity. It doesn't seem limited to region, or gender for that matter.

"Toxic Masculinity" gets a lot of press in the #metoo age but its a double-edged sword as your original comment suggests. Women are just as capable of it as men, and perhaps even more guilty of the notion because women tend to be more "catty" (libel on cats, there) than guys are. With a man, one generally has a pretty good idea where one stands; with women, that's frequently not the case and -- unlike most men -- women can "turn on a dime" and completely change their minds. Given the level of power-asymmetry these days the outcome for an unsuspecting guy can be bad indeed.

"Backwater cultures" are likely about the same in distribution of unpleasant traits between the sexes but perhaps higher in total observable unpleasant traits. And, yes, it is present everywhere unless folks are trying diligently to suppress those traits.

Unfortunately, calling it out when one witnesses it in action can cause unacceptable fallout as well -- especially if one is calling it out on a woman. It's usually easier -- and safer -- to stay quiet.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby moonshadow » Fri Mar 22, 2019 3:15 am

Freedomforall wrote:"If a man around me ever wore cologne I would have to think he was gay."


Uh.... what planet is she from? Cologne has been long accepted as a mens fragrance for ages. I mean... has she even been down the Old Spice aisle in the store?

Jesus... Since when is hygiene or taking care of ones appearance a sign of homosexuality... Has she ever been in a church on Sunday?

If I run a comb through my hair, does that make me homosexual?

I'm missing a molar tooth, I guess that puts me on the "straight" side, as only homosexuals would have all their teeth in the south.

I was pretty sure being sexually attracted to other men would have been the defining characteristic of homosexuality... but I suppose I was mistaken.

denimini wrote:Conservatism exists everywhere.


I don't think it's really a liberal/conservative issue. In my experience, while some conservatives may strongly disagree with what we do, most all at least respect our right to do it. Granted, we won't get invited to their cookout, but such is their right. It seems to me it's normally the libs that are always putting their hands over someone's mouth or trying to ban something "offensive". I mean, you can be a liberal virtually anywhere and nobody will bother you. But there are just some places you don't wear a MAGA hat if you want to get out alive. Don't get me wrong, I loathe the Republican party, but even I have to admit... that ain't right.

But it would seem that in my region, the majority of people seem to hold somewhat "libertarian" ideals. Neither conservative nor liberal. "I may not agree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it" kind of stuff....

I mean lets face it... these red necks know what side their bread is buttered on. They may talk a cool talk about "a country boy will survive", but them trailer park boys still got that EBT card in their back pocket.... :wink:

Aside from all of that, my visits to the Nashville area skirted were quite pleasant. I think this woman is in the minority.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby STEVIE » Fri Mar 22, 2019 8:02 am

"He can't be a man because he don't smoke the same kind of cigarette as me"
This is a very old quote which is still relevant and the attitude is certainly not confined to the Southern States.
One of my most vocal supporters was a girl who was several years my junior. She had an absolute blind spot when it came to males and alcohol consumption.
In her view, only females and gay males could possibly consume certain types of libation.
Being a pipe smoking, Guinness and whisky swiller back then she regarded me as unquestionably hetero.
We had a protracted discussion about it. She admitted that it was quite illogical but still found the idea difficult to resolve in her head,.
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Re: Is this just a southern mannerism?

Postby denimini » Fri Mar 22, 2019 10:29 am

moonshadow wrote:
denimini wrote:Conservatism exists everywhere.


I don't think it's really a liberal/conservative issue.


Sorry, I forgot about your political parties there. I should have used the term reactionary or narrow-minded people.
Perhaps an OK person but has been a bit sheltered, so I wanted to use a gentle term.
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