Awful jokes................

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Re: Awful jokes................

Postby pelmut » Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:13 am

A man went into a bar with a frog growing from the top of his head.  "How did that happen?" asked the bartender.  "I don't know... " replied the frog, "...it started as a pimple on my bum".
There is no such thing as a normal person, only someone you don't know very well yet.
pelmut
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Re: Awful jokes................

Postby dillon » Tue Jan 15, 2019 2:53 am

I stopped at a crash on the highway just as the ambulance was arriving. I couldn’t see just what injury the driver received but as the police and paramedics left with the injured man, I noticed they left behind a small red cooler on the side of the road. I opened it and was horrified to find a human toe wrapped in gauze and packed in ice. I immediately called 911 and informed them of the appendage left behind since I knew the physician would need to try and reattach it. The dispatcher told me to wait there, assuring me they would send an emergency vehicle to recover the cooler. I expected another ambulance, or a police car, or a fire truck...but do you know what they sent? A tow truck!
As a matter of fact, the sun DOES shine out of my ...
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Re: Awful jokes................

Postby dillon » Tue Jan 15, 2019 3:30 am

The widow of legendary coach Paul “Bear” Bryant has decided to spend her golden years in a retirement home in Chapel Hill, NC. She said she wanted to get as far away from college football as possible.
As a matter of fact, the sun DOES shine out of my ...
dillon
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Re: Awful jokes................

Postby pelmut » Thu Jan 17, 2019 10:42 pm

A ballet dancer was very kind to animals and birds, so when her car broke down on the way to an important audition, all the pigeons in the area flew to her aid.  They brought lengths of string which she tied to the car, then all the pigeons pulled on the strings and dragged the car the whole way to the audition.  She arrived just in the nick of time, but they refused to audition her because they wouldn't employ pigeon-to(w)ed dancers.
There is no such thing as a normal person, only someone you don't know very well yet.
pelmut
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