Dark day at Skirtcafe

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Disaffected.citizen
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Dark day at Skirtcafe

Post by Disaffected.citizen »

Gentlemen,

I believe patrons of the cafe owe CRfriend, Uncle Al and Milfmog an apology. Over the past few months they have steered us through two controversial political debates, through theological exchanges, through topical issues such as gun control, etc. Through all, they have been able to keep steady hands on the tiller.

It is sad that a general discussion on temperature changes could degenerate to the point where the thread has had to be locked; the first thread in more than a year to suffer such an ignominious end.

So, as the season of hostility goodwill and peace arrives, I'd like to thank the moderators for their work here; for keeping the wheels oiled!

I also wish everybody a safe and peaceful festive period, however you may choose to celebrate (or not). Let's hope for a better 2017.
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Sinned
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Re: Dark day at Skirtcafe

Post by Sinned »

I, too, thank the moderators for their tolerance and skill in knowing when to stand back and when to wield the big stick. I am proud to be a member of such a diverse, intelligent, erudite and normally well-mannered group. A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all and may the coming year see skirting much more approved.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
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Pdxfashionpioneer
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Re: Dark day at Skirtcafe

Post by Pdxfashionpioneer »

Amen to all that. With one qualification.

I'm not sure an apology is in order.

When I dabbled in rock climbing I was told the only to know what your limits are is to exceed them. That's why we stressed safety so.

Of course, when you exceeded your limits, you probably learned something thereby stretching your limits that much further.

Going forward, let's self-censor name-calling, but accept that calling out dysfunctional behavior is how we learn what works and what doesn't.
David, the PDX Fashion Pioneer

Social norms aren't changed by Congress or Parliament; they're changed by a sufficient number of people ignoring the existing ones and publicly practicing new ones.
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Jim
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Re: Dark day at Skirtcafe

Post by Jim »

Just adding my agreement. Thanks to the moderators. You try hard.
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crfriend
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Re: Dark day at Skirtcafe

Post by crfriend »

Pdxfashionpioneer wrote:I'm not sure an apology is in order.
One is not necessary, although the sentiment is appreciated. We have fairly thick skins, and also understand that getting the occasional scratch is part and parcel of trying to herd cats.
When I dabbled in rock climbing I was told the only to know what your limits are is to exceed them. That's why we stressed safety so.

Of course, when you exceeded your limits, you probably learned something thereby stretching your limits that much further.
This is actually excellent advice, but safety (physical and emotional) needs to be paramount any time you're going to be pushing the envelope. By its very nature, you're extending into territory you're not familiar with and since you're not familiar with it, failures can be sudden, unexpected, and not immediately intuitive (other than falling off a rock, but that'll be the end result of something else). The trick is learning from the inevitable failures.

We learn vastly more from failure than we do from success, for if we do not dare to push boundaries we never advance
Going forward, let's self-censor name-calling, but accept that calling out dysfunctional behavior is how we learn what works and what doesn't.
Name-calling isn't something that's supposed to happen in polite society and really amounts to little more than bad behaviour. We do not need to agree on everything (or anything at all!), but when discussing things we really should have the common decency to remain respectful.

We can call out dysfunctional behaviours, but must beware that what's dysfunctional for one may be normal for another.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
dillon
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Re: Dark day at Skirtcafe

Post by dillon »

I will offer my apology, since my remarks were presumably the snowball that sparked the avalanche. It is perhaps a fault of mine that I relish debate. The limits of civility are in the eye of the beholder, but consider me having been "taken to the woodshed" over the matter. It was really a case of the old Will Rogers saying "Everyone complains about the weather but no one ever does anything about it."
As a matter of fact, the sun DOES shine out of my ...
Disaffected.citizen
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Re: Dark day at Skirtcafe

Post by Disaffected.citizen »

To all: I enjoy the debates here, even if I don't actively participate; it's merely in this case that when the moderators started to issue warnings, I think the participants in the debate ought to have paused and re-read their pending post before pressing the submit key.

Climate change is a valid "off topic" debate; 'tis a pity that thread was locked. Maybe it can be resurrected in the New Year.
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oldsalt1
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Re: Dark day at Skirtcafe

Post by oldsalt1 »

I want to add my apology also. The members of the cafe are caring self thinking individuals. at times we let our concern for something excite our reactions. The good part is that even tho we have these periodic battles we all forget the arguments and come back for more Happy Holidays.
dillon
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Re: Dark day at Skirtcafe

Post by dillon »

I accept your apology, Old salt...go forth and sin no more...
As a matter of fact, the sun DOES shine out of my ...
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Sinned
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Re: Dark day at Skirtcafe

Post by Sinned »

Oh spats happen from time to time even in the best families or social situations. It's how it is handled that matters and that those involved have the maturity to step back and thence go forward on a slightly different tack but not go off in a corner and sulk. This is one of the best groups I have been a member of and even though sometimes I am the brunt of the comments I accept that I am not right all the time and neither are you but we can agree to differ. So, yes, apologies if I have rubbed some up the wrong way as they have done me. Best seasons wishes and let's see what 2017 brings. Gulp. :D
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
Ralph
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Re: Dark day at Skirtcafe

Post by Ralph »

Pdxfashionpioneer wrote:I'm not sure an apology is in order.
That's exactly what Hitler would say, you monster!

I kid, I kid :-) I love this place and the fact that even people with eccentric taste in fashion can have wildly divergent philosophies.
Ralph!
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