My First Time Out - LOL

[JRMILLER]

Dear Emerald,
I attached a pic of the denim skirt, it does have some "flounce" to it. I like it, but this probably why it is noticed.

I was walking out of Barnes & Noble last night and a couple were coming in. The gal caught my eye, then I saw her eye travel down my body and fix on the skirt. Her face sort of "contorted" when she saw it. I did get a chuckle out of it.

-john

[JRMILLER]

Dear Emerald,
Now, here is a skirt I love wearing around the house (I am presently in Florida), but I am not quite up for taking it out for a walk in the mall.

Would anyone be caught dead in this?

-john

[Bob]

I would personally go for the denim but not the floral. Everyone here is different, and that's cool.

[Peter v]

Thanks for the images, Jrmiller, the first one is a nice roomy denim, I like them myself, as they give a real free feeling, being wide at the hem.

Was thw girl looking that way because of seeing your skirt or your legs?

The second flowery one, well, actually why not? If you feel really good and natural in it, then why shouldn't you? That's what this whole new way of thinking is about. being able to shrug the old inhibitations off and discovering whole new ways of living, freedom.

If you wear it, then people may think either he's a loony, so it's all right, but don't go near him
Or he's so kool, self confident, that must be great feeling that way, "I wish I had that confidence, the balls to do that"

It's daring, but It should be possible.
It sure is not something you see every day. Maybe a little over the top.
Don't forget, YOU decide, not us, not public opinion.

"People can't fly" so we went against that and invented the aeroplane.
It's a good thing not everybody regards public opinion.
So do what YOU want. ( within reason, naturally)

I'm open minded, so if I see someone in a dress like that, I only think, that dress is nice and supple, flows nicely, must be comfortable. And I can see that the wearer has no displeasure in wearing it. Why think otherwise.

ps, life can be a drag, so a bit of floral brightness can help make the world a brighter place.

Peter v

[JRMILLER]

Thanks guys,
I can't tell you if she was looking at my hairy legs or the skirt, but I suspect the skirt. Who can really say.

I am looking for a denim in the same length as the floral with a similar hem, if I find it, I will take it out to the streets.

I feel in love with the floral as soon as I tried it on, but I have to grow the confidence a bit before I take that one out. It's easier to justify a denim in public than something "pretty". I have noticed, however, here in FL a lot of guys wear flowery shirts so the skirt has a chance.

-john

[iain]

Well, let me ask you this. If you knew your life would end tomorrow, or that society would come toa screeching halt and you with it -- would you like to go out in that floral skirt, take in the air, feel yourself for a change in front of everyone?

If the answer is yes, then you don't need approval from anyone else. I know we can't always live like tomorrow is our last day -- we'd be out of cash in no time for a start -- but there should be a day or two available to you every now and again for you to be yourself completely. To insist on this every day might not be realistic, but to set out your stall once in a while is surely going to be healthy.

Whatever happens, no matter what, people will have forgotten all about it in another few days or weeks. In the harsh reality of a day which seems like the be all and end all, as it is the only reality at that moment, it's tough to make these kinds of decisions, but the times I have done so have always made for interesting and memorable days. Good luck!

[JRMILLER]

Iain,
Very thoughtful reply and I have to agree that if this were my last day on the planet I would wear what I wanted and not be concerned about other people's opinions about it. That does help bolster my confidence, thanks!

It's also true that if this were my last day on the planet, I would probably be focused on other things and not so much concerned about what I was wearing!

-john

[iain]

Yes, I'm not sure how a skirt would fare in a nuclear explosion. I remember once I gave a seminar on data protection and I was going on about the building the data was stored in. "Is it floodproof?" I was asked. Yes, it is, I replied. "But is it bomb proof?" was the next question. Actually, yes, I again replied.

"Ah, but is it NUCLEAR bomb proof?" was his triumphant retort. There was an expectant pause in the audience and everyone went quiet.

"Let me put it this way," I ventured. "If nuclear bombs are going off in a place the size of the UK, I would say one of your less urgent worries would be whether your database is still intact or not."

[JRMILLER]

Iain,
LOL on the bomb, yes, much bigger fish to fry.

Just returned from Dress Barn, they had a 60% sale. Picked up two nice skirts, one solid brown, the other solid black. Fairly heavy material, not wool, but some sort of synthetic, perhaps polyester. In any case, the black one is mid ankle length, I want to try it with my black tux and bowtie. The brown, perhaps a tweed sports jacket -- I always pull out the tweed sports jackets in the Fall. The cost of these fine skirts, $12.00 US each! Incredible!

I return back to Ohio tomorrow morning, I am pondering your words and will very likely take the floral out for dinner tonight.

-john

[JRMILLER]

Just returned from my 4th trip (the third was uneventful). This trip was to the local grocery store. I walked out of an aisle and turned left into a large open area and heard some bloke behind me yell "SKIRT".

I didn't fall over dead or anything or run away, just kept walking like I knew what I was doing. The remainder of the visit was uneventful.

So, in answer to a question asked earlier, do they react to my legs or my skirt, it would seem to be the skirt. While my legs are hairy and my calves are big, I have never had a comment while showing them off in shorts.

I know that the bloke that yelled out SKIRT was reacting to some level of insecurity in his own attitudes. Perhaps deep down inside, he wishes he had the balls to wear one too!

[Peter v]

Thanks guys,
I can't tell you if she was looking at my hairy legs or the skirt, but I suspect the skirt. Who can really say.

I am looking for a denim in the same length as the floral with a similar hem, if I find it, I will take it out to the streets.

I feel in love with the floral as soon as I tried it on, but I have to grow the confidence a bit before I take that one out. It's easier to justify a denim in public than something "pretty". I have noticed, however, here in FL a lot of guys wear flowery shirts so the skirt has a chance.

-john

I think: Nearly all of us feel somewhat insecure at the beginning, it's unknown territory, but that is quickly overcome. Being yourself is maybe the most important thing you can do. And is possibly sometimes the most difficult. Wear what you want, do it because YOU want to, not because somebody else may or may not want you to.
Who dares to show himself to the world? As he really is, without armour plating. That is a show of character, and at the same time placing yourself in a "vulnerable" situation. I don't particularly mean fysicaly vulnerable. But it's living! How strong is our character? If the floral thing is really you, go for it. Be yourself for a change, that's what this is really all about, everyone in his own way. I like floral skirts myself. And have a silk skirt, gray and black, with a floral pattern. (gray and black are very in now over here, in the winter. ) I've only been wearing skirts since 3 August this year. But do it daily.

Do what you feel is right. Only you yourself know what that is.
Learning to listen to ourselves and not what we think others expect of us takes time.

Peter v.

[Pleats]

My ventures out in a skirt (denim mini) have been mostly a non event. The other night I was grocery shopping and the only reaction was a smile from a lady as she talked with her gentleman friend. Both were looking my way. That is a typical reaction I would expect.

The only incident I had was in this same grocery store a couple of years ago. It was late, maybe around 10pm, when I moved from a side isle to the main isle. I turned into a group of teenage girls. I was pushing a shopping cart so I thought the cart would block the view of the skirt. It was a hot summer night so shorts would have been the norm. Well one of them spotted the skirt. They started a commotion and became quite loud. This late at night there were only a few customers in the store so the noise level in the place increased many fold. They were with whom I would assume to be their mother. The girls started to follow me. They were making so much noise I thought it would attract the manager so I cut my shopping short and headed for check out. Two of them followed me to checkout but stood back. By this time they had quieted down. The cashier made no comment.

I have also had some very positive experiences. I was shopping one afternoon and was not sure where the items I wanted were located. Two young sales girls came over to help. Once I found the items one of them took me to a side register and got me checked out. Had I gone to the front I would have been in a long line. Now maybe they were doing this just to hurry me out of the store but the end result was I got what I needed and was able to avoid a long line at the cash register. Works for me! Not a word said about the skirt. Had I not been in the skirt I don't think I would have received the attention. I have not in the past when in pants in this same store.

I have found most of my fears about wearing the skirt have been self generated.

Happy skirting!

[JeffB1959]

Just returned from my 4th trip (the third was uneventful). This trip was to the local grocery store. I walked out of an aisle and turned left into a large open area and heard some bloke behind me yell "SKIRT".

Here's something to consider. If something like that were to happen again while on an outing, turn around with a look of surprise on your face and yell back, "WHERE?" That should calm things down. Heh!

But seriously, congrats on your forays in a skirt. You certainly show a goodly amount of courage to go wherever you want, dressed in the way you want, not how society demands. Good for you!

[Milfmog]

Being yourself is maybe the most important thing you can do.

As a very small child my mother used to play me a record (remember those?) of Hans Christian Anderson stories set to music. I don't remember very much about them, well it was a long time ago, but one line that has always stuck with me came from a song called Tubby the Tuba. The line went:

"Be yourself, or else you'll always be a nobody".

It's a constant source of surprise to me how often simple childhood truths turn into lessons for the real world.

Have fun,


Ian.

[iain]

Is it just me, or do I sense a growing mass of energy relating to our cause? It does seem to me that things are changing.

I was watching a TV cartoon called the Avatar with my kids the other day and there was actually some worthwhile wisdom in it. At one point the guru character warns the young seeker: "you can only bring balance to the world when you have balance within yourself."

I think one of the great treasures we find on life's journey, usually after some big hassles, is returning to our own self after a fruitless or disastrous search for meaning in the external world. You can see media darlings come across this problem as they reach success materially; some of them return to themselves and make it in the end, some don't, and collapse.

It's that great rush of enthusiasm after getting over a breakup, for example, of finding that life and enthusiasm and joy really came from inside ourselves after all, and was nothing to do with the person who we were grieving for, for what seemed like forever. The ancient Indian legends tell of the musk deer, which runs all over the forest to find the cause of an immensely attractive scent, and eventually collapses in exhaustion, never realising that the scent actually emanates from its own body.

Long live originality, and this excitement and freedom that grows from within our own selves, and which is often expressed on this site. I'm really happy to be a part of it.