BUYING A SKIRT

[jpf85653]

I am new to wearing skirts, I find them to be more comfortable than
shorts. I wear them around the house and in the yard most of the time.
my favorite skirts are jean miniskirts. I wear them with pantyhose as a
man. the reason for the pantyhose is leg problems I wish that it
would become mainstream and alright for men to wear skirts in public
and be excepted. My question is, has anyone of you ever gone
into a store like Walmart or K MART and bought a skirt for yourselves
I would like to try it sometime. but I am chicken. When buying
a skirt at the store how are you dressed, are you wearing a skirt? if you are wearing a skirt are you dressed as a man or a woman?

[alexthebird]

My question is, has anyone of you ever gone
into a store like Walmart or K MART and bought a skirt for yourselves

Well, not Walmart or K mart, but Macy's, Target, J Jill, Talbot's, Lord & Taylor, Chico's, street fairs, consignment shops, H&M, Zara's, Marshall's, etc.

There's nothing to be nervous about. Your Mastercard is every bit as good as anyone else's and that's all that matters.

[SkirtDude]

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[pepsie1]

I have purchased 5 skirts and two dresses at several Walmart stores this summer. I am still not very comfortable pawing around in the skirt racks as I am not very public or mainstream with my skirt wearing. But once I have made my selection it is very much a non event, the associates or cashiers efficiently get to the price tag, I swipe my card and am on my way. About the only conversation is the mandatory question, "Did you find everything ok?"

I have noticed that most Walmarts still have a pretty good selection of summer skirts in sizes up to 18 and some of their shirt dresses up to size 24. Prices for the skirts are about $8 and the dresses $12. I cut the dresses in half and make skirts from them as the tops never fit when the bottom is right. I just haven't figured what to do with tops yet. I really don't have a cropped top figure.

[AMM]

...I noticed that my local wally world had some nice "broomstick" type skirts in dark colors with bright stripes around the hem. Alas they didn't have pockets so I figured they could stay on the rack.

You can always add pockets, if there's a seam on one side or the other. I've done that for some skirts. It's also possible, but trickier, if the only seam(s) are on the front or back. Unfortunately, often they aren't full enough for my taste, even if the fabric is nice, and I don't have a good fix for that. (Sometimes shortening the skirt helps.)

I also usually add linings. My only problem is a shortage of "round tuits".

-- AMM

[SkirtDude]

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[Departed Member]

Hi jpf85653,

I have purchased skirts from many different venues, from leather fetish stores to thrift shops to mainstream department stores in big shopping malls. Sometimes I'm dressed femme, but more often I'm in normal guy mode. I know what you mean about being nervous, but I've gotten over most of that in the past few years.

The real issue at hand here is simply learning how to be confident and assertive with the store people. Most of them are more than happy to sell you a skirt, as it puts money in their pockets and food on their tables. With a mischieveous smile, I simply say that yes the skirt is for me, and yes, I would like to try it on, and by the way where is your three-way mirror? The more comfortable you feel about the situation, the more comfortable the store folks will be too.

I shave my legs and wear pantyhose almost all the time when I dress femme, as I enjoy the dressy tailored look it provides. They're also warmer in the winter. Occasionally I'll wear stockings and garters for a more racy, sensual appearance, but this is the exception rather than the rule. Whatever your reasons, ENJOY!

Cheers, John

[Emerald Witch]

I am new to wearing skirts...I wish it would become mainstream and alright for men to wear skirts in public ...and be excepted.

if you are wearing a skirt are you dressed as a man or a woman?

First off, if it isn't rude, may I please say "Hubba, Hubba! Nice legs!"

Second, I apologize I haven't figured out how to do the quote thing where you break up the quote boxes to answer them in bits... so that's why my reply looks a little dorky still. (Aside from the content, which is entirely my own fault.)

I fully agree that it's a shame folks don't feel comfortable yet with the idea of men in public in skirts. But there really is no way to conquer that barrier other than to meet it head-on. I wish I could support you and every man out there facing that challenge personally. I suggest you look to pioneers such as Eddie Izzard (check out his dvd "Unrepeatable" to get you started) for tips on how to meet the odd stares and comments you will recieve.

My answer to your final question is that if you're wearing a skirt you are dressed as yourself. Behave so. Always honor yourself, and never apologize.

[skirttron]

I have certainly bought skirts in places like Walmart. In fact I tried one of them on first. I do, however, do this in stores where no-one will know me. Supermarkets are the least-embarrassing places to buy skirts I find.

[Emerald Witch]

I have certainly bought skirts in places like Walmart. In fact I tried one of them on first. I do, however, do this in stores where no-one will know me. Supermarkets are the least-embarrassing places to buy skirts I find.

Maybe I sound dumb asking this question, but if you feel a little embarassed going alone, wouldn't it be easier to take along a girlfriend?

Forgive me if I sound insensitive. I'm new to all this, and I honestly don't understand all the prejudice you guys must obviously be facing. *I* don't feel prejudiced, and I think I live in a pretty groovy area where most folks are relatively tolerant, so maybe from time to time I'll suggest something which sounds obvious to me, but might seem foolishly obtuse to you.

[SkirtDude]

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[Bob]

Forgive me if I sound insensitive. I'm new to all this, and I honestly don't understand all the prejudice you guys must obviously be facing.

Miss Witch, the prejudice we face is as follows:

1. By far the biggest prejudice is internal, although we usually express it in terms of an external fear. We tend to beat ourselves up based on long-ingrained social habits and rationalize that "other" people won't accept us. This just needs to be faced head-on. Once we can get over the idea that wearing a skirt is somehow deviant, then we realize that for the most part, people on the street might be curious but overall they just don't care --- nor do sales clerks.

Again and again, guys on this forum have reported that experience. I've watched as dozens of guys come to this forum kind of in the closet, and then gradually realize the world won't end if they wear a skirt to the mall, and they don't have to do silly stuff like pretend to be a woman either.

2. The second-biggest problem (for some of us) is those we live with. Some (many) are totally cool. But at the same time, I've watched far too many marriages dissolve ostensibly over the man's desire to wear a skirt. And I've seen a number of other marriages in which the wife doesn't like it, but tolerates it to stay with a wonderful man. Some spouses change over time, some do not. Navigating betwen our own internal compass and the feelings of those dearest to us requires committment, communication, love and compassion on all sides.

3. For some, employers are a problem. But that is rare these days. Most employers don't really care what you do outside of work, and some have no problem with skirts at work as well.

4. And then there's the problem of becoming the target of random fruits and nuts --- sometimes from the very same places we consider most forward-thinking. For an an extreme example of this kind of hate, go to:

http://grevstad.org/cgi-bin/atrium.pl

and follow the link in the recent thread called "Is this for real? *LINK*".

What gets me is they've included links like "skirt wearing man flashes police" in the same category as links to VERY respectable boards like "X Marks the Scot", and listed it all as "Warning: The following links are not safe for viewing while at work or for viewing by anyone under the age of 21." Thankfully, these morons did not find our web site.

Probably these very same people were also instrumental in shutting down a maker of men's skirts near Seattle. They simply harassed him on-line until it was easier for him to shut it all down and move on.


But overall --- guys who like to wear skirts are not really an oppressed group, nor is it a "lifestyle." For example, the LGBT community has it much worse. One can make a convincing case that women in general are more oppressed as well (in spite of greater freedom of clothing choice). So I like to keep these things in perspective. For the most part, we really can wear what we want and get away with it, even if it's a bit eccentric.

[Bob]

if you are wearing a skirt are you dressed as a man or a woman?

Johnny... on this forum, in general, we are dressed as a man when wearing a skirt. We believe the world really is ready for men wearing skirts as men, without having to pretend to be someone who we are not.

[SkirtDude]

Bob - thanks for the excellent summery!

1. By far the biggest prejudice is internal ...

I'm tempted to quote the words of Roosevelt:

The only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself

I'm thinking back to the first time I went out "skirted" in a pseudo public setting. It was a Unitarian Universalist young adult (18-35 year olds) retreat in 1998 or 1999. I changed into my skirt in the men's room then stood there having tremors, cold sweats etc. I'm glad I got the guts to "come out" because the response was 100% positive and I had a wonderful time for the rest of the weekend.

Having thought of myself as transgendered and / or genderqueer for many years I'm also in pretty close touch with the GBLTQ community. Having to "come out to one's self" is often the biggest and hardest step in achieving an emotionally and physically comfortable life.

2. The second-biggest problem (for some of us) is those we live with.

I have the advantage of having discovered my love of skirts before I "discovered" that there were these people called women that it is fun to do things with . I've still lost at least two otherwise wonderful girlfriends over it. These days I'm completely open about it, even listing my belief in fashion freedom on my on line personnel ad - my attitude has become that if they can't deal with dating a guy in a skirt it is better off to get our incomparability out of the way immediately rather than have it come up after a few dates.

Most employers don't really care what you do outside of work, and some have no problem with skirts at work as well.

Mine is among the not caring outside of work employers. I wish I could wear a skirt to work as the weather here is miserably hot and humid this time of year.

As a side note one thing I have noticed about the trans community is that it can be VERY internally divisive. I went to a few meetings of a transsexual group where I used to live. The meeting often began with a 5-10 minute rant by the president on "how crossdressers hurt our cause" :hopeless: And then there was the trans sponsored party I went to where people kept asking me what my femme name is I'm not a "different person" simply because I decided to put on a pretty skirt that particular evening.

[Departed Member]

But overall --- guys who like to wear skirts are not really an oppressed group, nor is it a "lifestyle." For example, the LGBT community has it much worse. One can make a convincing case that women in general are more oppressed as well (in spite of greater freedom of clothing choice).

Well! Having agreed 100% with everything you've said up to this point (and very well put it was, I may say!), I seem to find myself 100% diametrically opposed to what you're saying here! I wonder whether it is peculiarly a "USA" viewpoint, compared to the UK, though? I've noticed that when someone on this forum takes it upon themselves to leap to the 'defence' of lesbian or homosexual lifestyles, it is invariably from a USA correspondent. If they were here in the UK, and did that in front of any of our 'l or h' chums, they'd be firmly 'slapped down', and no mistake! None of them appreciate being 'lumped in' with the TV crowd, either. If you want to see animosity (in the UK), just try a night out in Nottingham and it won't be long before you see a 'bust up'!