Women@Church:"You're Confusing Children"

[W.M.]

I was walking into my new house when a good lady friend of mine of 25+ years approached me. She started a casual conversation asking me about how I like my new house and such things. Then she said (para.) "Some of the ladies from church wanted me to ask you about why you always wear skirts. Some of the children are confused."

I explained that it was a personal preference. Then she said "Is it part of your heritage?" to which I responded "no, I just like them. It hasn't been a major problem, has it?", to which she replied "Oh, no, they were just wondering if you could wear pants sometimes". Continuing I explained that I'm fine, to which she replied "Oh, I know that, and that's what I told them. And if you want to keep wearing your skirts, don't feel that you can't, and I don't want you to feel bad. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings." After thinking for a few seconds, I said "I'll keep wearing them" and she responded with "Okay, that's fine." then she explained that she had to go someplace with her small boy (who was standing next to her). "I'll see you later. Bye." I got the impression that she was put up to this.

After she left and I went inside I thought "Oh no you don't! This is going to end and end now. I want this settled, No way am I going to give up my Christain liberties." So I hopped in my car and headed off to church, where I knew the pastor would be because I saw in the bulletin that he was having his confirmation class.

While there I waited for the class to end and then I told the pastor what had transpired. He smiled as though he were expecting this topic to come up, and then explained to me "Well, Walter, where do you live?" At first I gave him my home address, then he said with a cheshire grin ever so broad "no Walter, where do you live?" and then it dawned on me: "A small, conservative town where everybody knows each other, the grapevine, ect." Then he talked about how being different raises eyebrows, makes people talk, and so forth. "But", he continued, "you have your Christain liberties. And while some people may say 'ugh, there's Walter in his kilt again', others will say 'there's that Walter, who took care of his Mom when she was sick all those years and who has been a regular church-goer for the past six month, and who's been very faithful.'" Then I started blushing. He continued "You keep wearing your kilts and doing just what you're doing, because you're doing very well here."

As we were departing, I told him that sometimes after church, when I go to Barnes & Noble, people ask me about my kilt suits and I tell them about going to church and that I talk up our's and he knodded and smiled approvingly.

Some thoughts here:

1) During our discussion, we both agreed that the lady that talked to me was doing the right thing and acted as a concerned friend. I have no problem with her.

2) It seems strange that I've been wearing my Sunday Finery to church for the past six months, and just NOW someone's bringing this up!?

3) When I joined, EVERYONE on the board of elders (not to mention everyone else) knew I wore skirts and yet I was instantly approved for membership AND welcomed back with open arms, with applause.

4) I can't wait until next Sunday when I have another chance to wear my Sunday Finery, not to mention the upcoming confirmation services and the installment of our new associate pastor service. I haven't even BEGUN to wear the pleats and the tartans!

5) I have been pressed into service at the spur of the moment doing certain ushering duties, and have been asked by the pastor to be an usher...all while skirted.

6) I would be more than willing to bet that these few women who don't like my skirts wear slacks every Sunday. (Any takers on this one...easy money here LOL). And yet, isn't it ironic that these same women don't have to explain to their 'confused children' about their slack wearing? Oh, what hypocrites!

7) Children should be taught about kilts, sarongs, and other mens' unbifurcated garments. A little early education would go a long way toward ending trouser tyranny.

Inseams divide us, skirts unite us!

[iain]

You know, that pastor is a guy who expresses himself very well. I think any church would be lucky to have him; I don't think anyone could put it any better than he did.

For sure, there will be people who see you for what you have done and not what you wear. good for you!

[Eagle 95]

they wait half a year to make it an issue? :sarcastic: and then they had to go and pin it on the children being confused. I figure the kids have seen you every sunday during that time, so they'd have gotten used to seeing you skirted by now.

yeah, I think I figured out who's confused here

heh, speakin of confusion, I always wondered why small towns are never anything but conservative? you never hear about small, progressive towns

[W.M.]

iain: You'd really like my pastor. We were talking about the fact that so many people think our church is conservative; but as he says, "We are conservative where we need to be conservative, and we are liberal where we can be liberal."

Eagle 95: To be honest, I have to give my small town a lot of credit. The people here have been pretty indifferent to my skirt wearing, and are, for the most part, very friendly towards me. Although the police do give me their share of long, hard stares :rotfl:

[deebee]

"Some of the children are confused."

I suspect only if they ask questions, and only then, after their parents have tried to interpret what you do/how you are in the light of their own prejudices.

By and large, children build their own view of the world, and happily accept that people are different and take them as they are. Until they are told differently, by parents and their peers.

David.

[cessna152towser]

Your pastor's views are very sensible. I don't see how children can be confused. In the 21st century, the majority of men and women wear trousers. Some women wear skirts and some men wear kilts/skirts. Certainly round here all the young ones wear black trousers to school whether they are male or female. I overhead a very small child of below school age ask his mum last week "Is that man wearing a kilt" to which I heard her reply in the affirmative, and I thought it was nice that such a very young child was already aware of the difference between a kilt and an ordinary skirt.

[W.M.]

...that if I don't wear a kilt to church this Sunday, I'll be giving the impression that what I do is wrong. I think if anyone wants to make a bigger issue out of it, I'll tell them to do research on skirts/kilts.

You'd think in this day and age of Google and libraries people could find out things before making hasty decisions about them. I'm amazed people don't think about these things on their own.

This shouldn't be rocket science:sarcastic:

[ChrisM]

Aww c'mon Walter, you've been around long enough to know that in general people don't think at all - let alone 'for themselves' or 'after research' or anything like that...<wry smile>

Chris - feeling just a bit jaded this morning.

[me012247]

I don't go to church, because they are intolerant to ANY kind of changes. Most conflicts in the world are caused by fanatics belonging to a >group< of believers and are so-called spokespersons of a faith. People are looking for answers and unfortunately, many are seeking those answers in churches. For those, the word of God (in that case the opinion of a priest, minister, you-name-it) is the only truth.
If churches would be open minded entities to many problems mankind is facing today, we would have a better world.

I was invited to speak to elementary school kids the other day about my heritage (which is not scotish). Among other things kids wanted to know why I wear skirt/kilts most of the time. I answered all questions they asked me openly and honestly, ranging from x-dressing to gender identity subjects. None of the kids was confused! I found more tolerance at that level then in a discussion group attended by teachers later that same day.
Adults believe in stereotypes communicated in Early Morning shows, magazines and ....last but not least...churches

[Charlie]

...that if I don't wear a kilt to church this Sunday, I'll be giving the impression that what I do is wrong.

Absolutely spot on. I've been going to a country dancing club for the past year. The only time they have seen me in trousers was the first time I went there, and discovered how hot I get while dancing in trousers. Since then I've worn a modern kilt or a sarong. At first there were comments like "Oooh, get you, Charlie", and "Come on dearie" (especially when the dance called for the men to hold hands) ... but now all those comments have dried up. I'm glad I stuck with it and beat them into submission

Charlie

[talon2mech]

"Some of the ladies from church wanted me to ask you about why you always wear skirts. Some of the children are confused."

If confronted with this, I may wear a sexy little black dress with heels and makeup. To further confuse the children, I would not shave for a week!

[binx]

I really don't believe it's been six months, more like she thought to bring it up since she was concerned, particularly since the elders knew right off the bat. Hey, the congregation is entitled to their individual thoughts. I often hear kids say to their parents "Why's that guy wearing a skirt?", and usually say it's a kilt. Doesn't mean all of them are hypocrites. I get the "dress, skirt" comments from time to time when kilted. One guy said "your dress" and I told him to ask his wife what a dress looks like. No more of those comments from him. People are set in their ways and beliefs.

binx

[W.M.]

Deeper and deeper we go
The wheel has made another turn
Some lessons we continue to learn

Tonight at church we had examination of the confirmands, and, at the spur of the moment I was asked to usher, And yes, I was dressed in my purple kilt, black white-trimmed knee-high soccer socks, white pleated shirt with a small strand of pre-attached pearls, new white sneakers, and black sport jacket. The pastor volunteered me (but he knew I was going to volunteer anyway) to usher and the head usher handed me a black and white tag with the words "USHER" on it, which went really well with my jacket btw :>). Then he asked another young person to usher, who was wearing below-the-knee shorts and a Tee-shirt. The young man's father jokingly said "Yea, he's all dressed up for it", and we all laughed. Then the head usher, wearing jeans and a plaid shirt said "Walter here's the dress-up man!"

Well, now every one there tonight saw me in my kilt. And some little kids (probably some of those "confused children") smiled at me and I smiled back at them and gave them a little wave. After the service I shook hands with our pastor and another pastor from a neighboring congregation. Then I asked our head usher to put me on an ushering list and he said he'd see that I got on one. While I was leaving I hollered back at the pastor and said "I got on the ushering list" and he hollered back "Oh good! Thank you!"

Although, I can't help thinking that out there lurking somewhere...

Am I becoming paranoid:shifty: ?

[Departed Member]

"Usher"? What does a (church) usher do? Do you allocate folks to seats, sell wares or administer discipline? this is not a fatuous question, just intrigued! is there usually a 'uniform' involved?

[W.M.]

An usher is one who helps to pass the collection plates around, takes the plates up to the front of the church to give to the pastor during the service, helps the people to leave in an orderly fashion at the service's end, passes out the bulletins (programs) to people coming to services, ect.

No uniforms are involved, but we have the option of wearing an "usher" badge if we wish to.