Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
Hey Moon,
I appreciate your comments on the quirks of our community and the let boys be boys. The problem is, the physical abuse suffered in domestic abuse is usually men assaulting others. And multiple lines of evidence bear this out. The lack of numbers for emotional abuse is well noted but goes both ways. The emotional abuse data is not captured for either gender. You’re a more than reasonable man so please don’t take this as me attacking you in any way. I have the utmost respect for you.
I appreciate your comments on the quirks of our community and the let boys be boys. The problem is, the physical abuse suffered in domestic abuse is usually men assaulting others. And multiple lines of evidence bear this out. The lack of numbers for emotional abuse is well noted but goes both ways. The emotional abuse data is not captured for either gender. You’re a more than reasonable man so please don’t take this as me attacking you in any way. I have the utmost respect for you.
-
- Member Extraordinaire
- Posts: 2649
- Joined: Mon Dec 16, 2019 4:40 am
- Location: Southeast Michigan
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
This is my last and final point. When women pen an article saying "men should die" or other mean sentiments, the world politely turns their head. If the same article were written about women, the author would be attacked, driven out of their job, and possibly found guilty of some hate crime. Perhaps I'm overstating what would happen - but there's a sense that men are disposable/disgusting/yucky, and that has shaped my entire worldview since childhood. That pales in comparison to real, physical abuse - I get that. I'm perhaps a bit too sensitive - and I generally don't complain about my sorry lot in life (except here at times ). Heck, I have a ton of privilege and I'm grateful.
What I'd like to see is a "kindness project". One where we don't try to find a side to be on - gender/sex/politics/religion - but just be nice to one another. We advocate for no violence. No abuse. No name calling. Not asking for restrictions of speech - just asking others to choose their words and not use ones that would be hurtful*. No statistics - they can be twisted. The only "religious" aspect I'd interject is to turn the other cheek. We get into these tit for tat's and no one is "big enough" to pause, step away from the fray.
On the topic of fundraisers - I think "men wear a skirt" type fundraisers are quite rare. They usually get local news because they are so transgressive. There's that yearly baseball game I posted about that takes place in the US. But none of these things - while letting men "express themselves" change a thing. It's a one-off, perhaps a random guy will find that skirts are hella comfy, and continue to wear them. But in general I don't think these events move the needle much. If they did, you'd see guys starting to wear skirts after these events take place. I also bristle at the thought of using a fundraiser to promote MIS as it seems selfish.
What I'd like to see is a "kindness project". One where we don't try to find a side to be on - gender/sex/politics/religion - but just be nice to one another. We advocate for no violence. No abuse. No name calling. Not asking for restrictions of speech - just asking others to choose their words and not use ones that would be hurtful*. No statistics - they can be twisted. The only "religious" aspect I'd interject is to turn the other cheek. We get into these tit for tat's and no one is "big enough" to pause, step away from the fray.
On the topic of fundraisers - I think "men wear a skirt" type fundraisers are quite rare. They usually get local news because they are so transgressive. There's that yearly baseball game I posted about that takes place in the US. But none of these things - while letting men "express themselves" change a thing. It's a one-off, perhaps a random guy will find that skirts are hella comfy, and continue to wear them. But in general I don't think these events move the needle much. If they did, you'd see guys starting to wear skirts after these events take place. I also bristle at the thought of using a fundraiser to promote MIS as it seems selfish.
-
- Member Extraordinaire
- Posts: 1923
- Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2014 10:36 am
- Location: Somerset, England
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
To answer in reverse order:
No, I can't see why I need to raise funds or what I am supposed to be raising them for.
Today: Heavy denim work skirt because I may have to do some soldering and don't want to ruin delicate material.
Thursday evening: Black & red 'gipsy' skirt with formal black top for an evening event.
Thursday daytime: Grey 'A' line skirt.
Wednesday: Grey 'A' line skirt.
Tuesday: Denim work skirt (unblocking drains).
Monday: Grey 'A' line skirt with black & white cardigan.
Sunday: Burgundy knitted dress with 'Norwegian folk pattern' cardigan.
Saturday: Ill in bed all day (due to bad reaction to'flu injection).
Friday: Blue & white layered skirt with matching sparkly blue top.
Can't remember any further back than that...
There is no such thing as a normal person, only someone you don't know very well yet.
- crfriend
- Master Barista
- Posts: 14433
- Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
- Location: New England (U.S.)
- Contact:
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
This is great news, and the fact that it went over well for both the participants and the community is very encouraging. Bravo.
Many of us here are on the older side of things and tend to take wide contexts into consideration, and some of us have been dealt raw deals by the legal system. Hence our sometimes seeming to be a bit on the negative side. In the vast majority of places in the US women do not need the "help" they proclaim they do; they do just fine, and have a significant advantage over men in the legal system; the pendulum has swung too far already and shows no sign of slowing, either.Somehow all this got lost in the weeds based on most of the moments. That’s a bit disappointing as a new member here. Just saying
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
Hey CCNC,CCNC wrote: ↑Fri Nov 25, 2022 12:41 pm You know guys, I started this post because it was about guys wearing skirts…..in a smaller southern town in the the US. 20 plus guys participated in the event. Everyone that was involved simply wore a skirt. Not over the top, not drag, not in a parody. The overall reaction from people was really great. No negative crappy comments, no bad situations. And just about to a every guy that did it had a “hey, skirts are comfortable and kinda cool moment.”. Now, do I think they all will convert to skirts, no. But it did help the cause this forum supports. Somehow all this got lost in the weeds based on most of the moments. That’s a bit disappointing as a new member here. Just saying
I want to apologize to you about your thread veering off the topic of Men In Skirts (MIS). I think your original post is spot on for what I think this cafe is for. Discussing men wearing skirts and how to make it easier for others who are interested in wearing skirts, feel comfortable wearing a skirt publicly as a man.
In my job, I see the horrors of what we do to each other. It’s something I’m passionate about as I’ve unfortunately had to learn more than I ever wanted to about it from seeing it almost daily. So I apologize for any role I played in this.
But it’s not something that this cafe should talk about. There are many other forums where this should be discussed.
I’m gonna float an idea and it’s something I did here and think it could work. When we veer off on these tangents, specifically asking the poster who is veering “so what skirt did you most recently wear” could be a subtle hint to cease discussion of the off topic.
It won’t always work as I tried to bring the discussion back to your original post of fundraising in skirts but that wasn’t received in the manner it was intended.
So for this I appreciate Coder’s comments of how we should just be nicer to everyone. And if there is some nut job screaming to kill all (fill in the blank), wouldn’t it be funny if we just straight up asked them “what skirt did you recently wear?” To all those who already hit reply to lambaste me on the stupidity of the last part please realize this is intended to be poignant humor. Even though it would be awesome to do
Last edited by Uncle Al on Fri Nov 25, 2022 9:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Fixed quoting format error
Reason: Fixed quoting format error
-
- Active Member
- Posts: 73
- Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 5:04 pm
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
Coder wrote: ↑Fri Nov 25, 2022 1:52 pm
What I'd like to see is a "kindness project". One where we don't try to find a side to be on - gender/sex/politics/religion - but just be nice to one another. We advocate for no violence. No abuse. No name calling. Not asking for restrictions of speech - just asking others to choose their words and not use ones that would be hurtful*. No statistics - they can be twisted. The only "religious" aspect I'd interject is to turn the other cheek. We get into these tit for tat's and no one is "big enough" to pause, step away from the fray.
What coder said is a very valid point. My only suggestion would be to take a second to READ your response before you push the send button, and maybe just walking away and not making any argument as you smile at them, would probably be a better solution
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
Scott, your point about saying something to indicate that the conversation has got far off course and needs redirection brought back a memory. In my youth, in such a situation, I used to say, "I had a fried egg for breakfast." Code for, "Let's get back to the subject."
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
- moonshadow
- Member Extraordinaire
- Posts: 6994
- Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:58 am
- Location: Warm Beach, Washington
- Contact:
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
Wait a minute, kindness, killing people, eggs for breakfast...?
What are we talking about? I've lost something somewhere....
I think my brain might need a good defragmenting, and I've often suspected it's running on Windows.
What are we talking about? I've lost something somewhere....
I think my brain might need a good defragmenting, and I've often suspected it's running on Windows.
-Andrea
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
- crfriend
- Master Barista
- Posts: 14433
- Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
- Location: New England (U.S.)
- Contact:
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
Don't be afraid, be very afraid!moonshadow wrote: ↑Sat Nov 26, 2022 1:17 amI think my brain might need a good defragmenting, and I've often suspected it's running on Windows.
Mine? I run on whatever was in the DNA that was available in the spring of 1960... For all I know, there might be a little bit of Whirlwind in me. (It's a long story, but I once cracked at my father to the tune of, "Why in Hell couldn't you have kept it in your pants?!")
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
Moon, the idea is to get the thread back on track away from domestic violence issues.
So, "I had a fried egg for breakfast." Literally, the other day.
So, "I had a fried egg for breakfast." Literally, the other day.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
- moonshadow
- Member Extraordinaire
- Posts: 6994
- Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:58 am
- Location: Warm Beach, Washington
- Contact:
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
I had two fried eggs this morning, biscuits, homemade bacon gravy, bacon, and corned beef hash.
-Andrea
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
- crfriend
- Master Barista
- Posts: 14433
- Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
- Location: New England (U.S.)
- Contact:
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
Two cups of coffee.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
Oh, I do love a well developed sense of humour.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
Re: Guys in Skirts Fundraiser
All this fried egg eating is pointless unless you did it in a skirt at a fundraiser. And if we didn't want to focus on violence, we can have a fundraiser for raising awareness of guys being able to wear skirts whenever they want wherever they want.