Mexican Men's skirt brand - Baron

[Uncle Al]

Scott,<snip>I fear you hammer on the theme of doubt, fear, and what others may think to the exclusion of just doing what you want to do. There is no short cut, no changing everyone else, no magic potion that is going to allow you to wear a skirt with instant comfort -- the only way it will happen is to get out there and do it -- regardless of what you think others may think. It is up to you to act on your own behalf. It is that act of courage to be yourself that will help win others over as well. It is the difference between the arm-chair coach and being on the field.

Aunty Acid - Life is too short JPG 2022-10-05.jpg

Uncle Al

[ScotL]

Scott, my point was there are exceptions -- don't draw absolutes from generalities (your math teacher will flunk you! )

I fear you hammer on the theme of doubt, fear, and what others may think to the exclusion of just doing what you want to do. There is no short cut, no changing everyone else, no magic potion that is going to allow you to wear a skirt with instant comfort -- the only way it will happen is to get out there and do it -- regardless of what you think others may think. It is up to you to act on your own behalf. It is that act of courage to be yourself that will help win others over as well. It is the difference between the arm-chair coach and being on the field.

Not sure where I am drawing absolutes from generalities. Not following you there.

But more importantly, doesn’t this entire cafe hammer on themes of doubting others will accept you, fear of the reprisals when wearing and worrying about what others are secretly thinking about us? Because that’s basically my take on this cafe from participating.

Yes, this gets better by doing it. I’ve never said otherwise. But to not acknowledge that a newbie will doubt, fear and worry is unhelpful. Telling someone “don’t worry just do it” is encouraging but doesn’t manage expectations. I think it’s important to acknowledge that you will feel nervous with a heart beating out of your chest. This is what has happened to me every time so far. If I didn’t know to expect that, I wouldn’t have done it.

I don’t know how long you’ve been openly skirting but did you not go through the doubt, fear and worry when you stepped out the first time? Please tell me your experience from your first several encounters.

Personally, I think the greatest benefit of this cafe is the ability to swap stories that help the newbie manage expectations when they first go out. And to keep encouraging them by showing that the sky didn’t fall when they did so.

Because we are of the same mindset regardless of what you believe my mindset is. This does get better when more people do it. I feel we need to be open and honest about managing the doubts, fears and worries of people to encourage more to do so. In other words, to use your analogy, it’s nice for either the field coach or the armchair coach to say “go win the game” but the players need a strategy to do so.

[crfriend]

I don’t know how long you’ve been openly skirting but did you not go through the doubt, fear and worry when you stepped out the first time? Please tell me your experience from your first several encounters.

There are dozens of such stories here at the Cafe. One just needs to read some of the old posts and the history. It's all laid out. "It's all on the Yellow Record", as was used in the Buckaroo Banzai movie from a few years back.

Are "you" going to be nervous when you first step out? If you're not, you're not fully human. Were you nervous the first time you got behind the wheel of a motorcar? Nervous the first weekend you spent away from home and parents? Nervous the first time stepping aboard an aeroplane and going a long distance? If you weren't, I'd posit you're not fully human.

Nervous in a skirt initially? Certainly. It was also a "rush". Both dissipate in time as your strength and confidence grows. This is normal and human.

[ScotL]

I don’t know how long you’ve been openly skirting but did you not go through the doubt, fear and worry when you stepped out the first time? Please tell me your experience from your first several encounters.

There are dozens of such stories here at the Cafe. One just needs to read some of the old posts and the history. It's all laid out. "It's all on the Yellow Record", as was used in the Buckaroo Banzai movie from a few years back.

Are "you" going to be nervous when you first step out? If you're not, you're not fully human. Were you nervous the first time you got behind the wheel of a motorcar? Nervous the first weekend you spent away from home and parents? Nervous the first time stepping aboard an aeroplane and going a long distance? If you weren't, I'd posit you're not fully human.

Nervous in a skirt initially? Certainly. It was also a "rush". Both dissipate in time as your strength and confidence grows. This is normal and human.

Well, that was my premise that we all were nervous but Faldaguy was asking why I kept hammering on the self doubt and nervousness. So I was wondering if he didnt experience them.

[crfriend]

Nervous in a skirt initially? Certainly. It was also a "rush". Both dissipate in time as your strength and confidence grows. This is normal and human.

Well, that was my premise that we all were nervous but Faldaguy was asking why I kept hammering on the self doubt and nervousness. So I was wondering if he didnt experience them.

At issue is that you were hammering at it to the point where few suspected that you might actually have ever worn a skirt out in front of other people in public. That you have, makes a good point, and your admission of nervousness and, indeed, moments of fright are instructive and -- perfectly normal.

The main point is that the simple act of a guy wearing a skirt is not going to cause the sky to fall. Armageddon is not around the corner for the daring. Dare.

[ScotL]

Nervous in a skirt initially? Certainly. It was also a "rush". Both dissipate in time as your strength and confidence grows. This is normal and human.

Well, that was my premise that we all were nervous but Faldaguy was asking why I kept hammering on the self doubt and nervousness. So I was wondering if he didnt experience them.

At issue is that you were hammering at it to the point where few suspected that you might actually have ever worn a skirt out in front of other people in public. That you have, makes a good point, and your admission of nervousness and, indeed, moments of fright are instructive and -- perfectly normal.

The main point is that the simple act of a guy wearing a skirt is not going to cause the sky to fall. Armageddon is not around the corner for the daring. Dare.

Hmmm, so many talk about the doubts and fears and I am the one hammering. And despite detailing an adventure under personal stories, I am not believed. Well, ok. Color me disappointed.

[Faldaguy]

by ScotL » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:16 pm

crfriend wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 5:15 pm
ScotL wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 5:09 pm
crfriend wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 6:09 am
Nervous in a skirt initially? Certainly. It was also a "rush". Both dissipate in time as your strength and confidence grows. This is normal and human.
Well, that was my premise that we all were nervous but Faldaguy was asking why I kept hammering on the self doubt and nervousness. So I was wondering if he didnt experience them.
At issue is that you were hammering at it to the point where few suspected that you might actually have ever worn a skirt out in front of other people in public. That you have, makes a good point, and your admission of nervousness and, indeed, moments of fright are instructive and -- perfectly normal.

The main point is that the simple act of a guy wearing a skirt is not going to cause the sky to fall. Armageddon is not around the corner for the daring. Dare.
Hmmm, so many talk about the doubts and fears and I am the one hammering. And despite detailing an adventure under personal stories, I am not believed. Well, ok. Color me disappointed.

The short personal answer, is yes --like all the others who have posted here -- nervous the first few times; probably the first time we added a new element --location we thought might be less receptive (car repair; shooting range; court house/police station; --wherever your internal doubts lie). The first few times we changed our hem length, color pattern, or meeting with family and old acquaintances. The stores abound. But to harp on the fears repeatedly does nothing to help guys tackle them -- it only tends to make newbies think that horrid things may happen 'out there' -- rather than seeing the also consistent stories of -- "wow, I went out in public, and the sky did not fall."

I did see your story of a day in public -- and if I recall, I commended you upon it. But remember only "members" see the personal stories section and a lot of folk on this site are lurking. So we need to try to keep a balance to create support and 'hand-holding' newbies into the realm of the public.

Nobody is arguing with your contentions about fears, and how few men, or women, have had enough exposure to the idea or sight of men in skirts for it to be a 'breeze' to commence buying or wearing them -- in private or public. What, we?, at least I am saying, is that harping on the doubts and worries we all do/did face is not conducive to getting more men into skirts. What I, and other will relish hearing from you is of those times you conquered your fears, headed out the door and had a grand time. Tell us more of the pragmatic stories, not the imaginary ones!

I 'feared' TSA and airport, border, immigration security types for many years after I was wearing skirts in most other public places. I think I expressed that herein, and some other members told me of their experiences in similar venues -- as with all the other places, no "slashback" (Paul Levine --old Lassiter novel) came of their trips through airports security -- nor did the sky fall when I left my skirt on for my next border travels. Was I a tad nervous -- yes, despite having been dang near everywhere in a skirt, but the telling of "real" experiences on this site rather than re-hashing the worries that keep so many from ever trying, is the real utility and heart of Skirtcafe. You write well, now go have some fun and tell us about that!

[ScotL]

So we need to try to keep a balance to create support and 'hand-holding' newbies into the realm of the public.

Nobody is arguing with your contentions about fears, and how few men, or women, have had enough exposure to the idea or sight of men in skirts for it to be a 'breeze' to commence buying or wearing them -- in private or public. What, we?, at least I am saying, is that harping on the doubts and worries we all do/did face is not conducive to getting more men into skirts. What I, and other will relish hearing from you is of those times you conquered your fears, headed out the door and had a grand time. Tell us more of the pragmatic stories, not the imaginary ones!

I 'feared' TSA and airport, border, immigration security types for many years after I was wearing skirts in most other public places. I think I expressed that herein, and some other members told me of their experiences in similar venues -- as with all the other places, no "slashback" (Paul Levine --old Lassiter novel) came of their trips through airports security -- nor did the sky fall when I left my skirt on for my next border travels. Was I a tad nervous -- yes, despite having been dang near everywhere in a skirt, but the telling of "real" experiences on this site rather than re-hashing the worries that keep so many from ever trying, is the real utility and heart of Skirtcafe. You write well, now go have some fun and tell us about that!

I agree wholeheartedly with the first line I quoted but disagree with you on the rest.

That balance comes from welcoming all opinions regardless of where they are in their skirt wearing journey. Newbies speak of the nerves and old timers tell them it gets better. That’s good. But telling me to shut up about my opinions is downright offensive.

I agree, I need to post more of my skirted outings, they’ve just not really occurred much. My job is 80+ hours a week and its been particularly busy of late. I wear a skirt for two hours at most a night in my house eating dinner and unwinding.

But can you define what you mean by “imaginary” stories? Seems like a disingenuous comment but I’ll wait to hear what you meant by that.

When I read “coders outfits” in the personal section, I thought it was brilliant. He went through his trials and tribulations with multiple stories of him “chickening out.” These stories of honesty helped me more than the old timers who quote the Nike slogan of “just do it.”

Telling me there are a few nerves that you get over but dont worry about them didnt help me. I was worried about everything and still worry. Realizing other people felt the same level of anxiety is what allows me to wear a skirt publicly.

Reading Coders Chronicles in a few days that encompassed his struggle over several years was like a primer on how to do it. Being told “just do it” is like being told to build a car without instructions. I want to do it but dont know the steps.

I agree we need to strike a balance that details everything from the nerves to the skirted trips that had no reaction to the skirted trips that led to a good or bad reaction. And honesty rules here. My opinion only, but I think we should welcome all opinions and not attempt to squash them. Because when other newbies go to try, the “truth will out.” And if they havent been given some semblance of how to manage the nerves, they’re not gonna do it.

Are we really worried that the nerves they feel when they first step out of the house in a skirt are because I wrote about them? My first trip skirted was at least a year before I found this site. From my experience, those nerves were there before I ever read about them.