Skirts, the wearing of.

[Barleymower]

This summer I was in London having a day out with my wife and children. leaving Tate Britain the doorman said to my wife "Is your husband Scottish?"
She said "No, he just likes wearing skirts."

I thought this comment was hilarious. I'm not Scottish, I was not wearing a kilt I was wearing a knee length blue and green stripped, full skirt. It was nothing like a kilt!

Don't take the comments people make to heart. They mostly have no idea. Any attention is good attention, it makes the day memorable.

[new2skirts]

This summer I was in London having a day out with my wife and children. leaving Tate Britain the doorman said to my wife "Is your husband Scottish?"
She said "No, he just likes wearing skirts."

I thought this comment was hilarious. I'm not Scottish, I was not wearing a kilt I was wearing a knee length blue and green stripped, full skirt. It was nothing like a kilt!

Don't take the comments people make to heart. They mostly have no idea. Any attention is good attention, it makes the day memorable.

Totally this. Though to most kilt=menswear, so it's just how their brains process it. As more celebs take up the skirt, (even if just on catwalks or movie premieres) more will adjust to other styles worn by men ie denim skirts etc. Most blurt out kilt in embarrassment

[STEVIE]

"Mum also told me that he had been asking to be allowed to wear a dress.
That random chat with a loving Mother gave me more hope for our future than all the b******t and hype that I have seen from any other source.
No theories, no pontification, just a Mum doing her very utmost for her child."

This I put at the very beginning of this thread and sadly, nothing has been written since which changes that opinion.
Anyone who says they feel frustrated by the lack of progress of men in skirts had better take a leaf out of Job's book.
That kid and others of his generation is the brightest hope we have.
It is for us, the men in skirts today to nurture that growth not the celebrities, influencers or fashion houses.
To echo, Uncle Al, if you aren't willing to make the effort, put up or shut up.
Before anyone shouts, "SNARKY", it is, and you are not the first to feel frustrated and probably not the last either!
I'd be very happy to hear if someone can add anything original or constructive though.
Steve.

[STEVIE]

This is not wisdom or advice, but honest illustrations of how I coped with the personal frustrations generated by being unable to wear my own choices.
Not so much beauty as a warts n' all display but if it helps anyone?
In order, the beach scene was created in April 2010, with a bit of cutn'paste. The more formal one is a selfie with a tripod and timer of the first skirt I wore, presenting as a guy. That was at a counselling session in July 2011. In October 2011, we had the first Scottish meet in Stirling. That was my first outing as a MIS. The third was my first proper local stroll through town. Then in June 2012, my first skirt at the office and the rest is history.
Nerve wracking does not come close but regrets never!

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How many others, have I inspired, no idea but a lady friend insists "many".
In the dark days, there was true despair and yes, I got help. However, in the final analysis, I crossed the boundary all alone.
Steve.

[Barleymower]

In the dark days, there was true despair and yes, I got help. However, in the final analysis, I crossed the boundary all alone.
Steve.

Sounds like you have had a tough time to get where you are today Steve.
I think it is easier for me in 2022 to open the book on this subject. I've said before, I was confronted by my nonbinary daughter who said I didn't understand her. I did understand and I have not looked back since.
I am now faced with a new problem. My OH wants me to get some counseling. She thinks it will be helpful to discuss this with a professional.
I'm not at ease with this course of action. I've been in counseling before, at 27 when I started getting severe panic attacks. My experience of councellors does not fill me with confidence. Why? Here goes:
1. I'm not mentally ill
1. This isn't going to go away
2. The wrong councellor could take me in the direction of their speciality.
4. I could spend time with a "poor' councellor (I'm thinking the psychiatrist (played by Paul Kaye) in after life.
Does 'help' help?

[Coder]

1. I'm not mentally ill

Not really the best or most sensitive way to think of it - sometimes an outside opinion can help get to the root of matters. It's not always about being "mentally ill" but rather having issues that are unresolved.

Does 'help' help?

Individually it can - it really depends on the issue. Obviously (if I'm reading into the situation correctly) she wants "skirts to go away" and thinks counseling will "fix" you. Throw in some unresolved gender issues and - well I really can't advise you there. I would caution you to be very careful in selecting a professional if you decide to go ahead - they can be very persuasive and may have an agenda in how they go about their practice.

Hopefully others here who are in a relationship can chime in on whether counseling actually helped or not. I know one person here had been told "you are perfectly fine, she is wrong" and the spouse ignored the advice, so don't expect it to change her mind.

[crfriend]

In the dark days, there was true despair and yes, I got help. However, in the final analysis, I crossed the boundary all alone.

Sounds like you have had a tough time to get where you are today Steve.
I think it is easier for me in 2022 to open the book on this subject. I've said before, I was confronted by my nonbinary daughter who said I didn't understand her. I did understand and I have not looked back since.
I am now faced with a new problem. My OH wants me to get some counseling. She thinks it will be helpful to discuss this with a professional.

Yes, Steve went through a really rough patch there for a bit, and he learned the hard way that no matter how much "counselling" one gets (be it from pals or professionals) you still have to make the trip very much alone, because you're the only one that can do it.

On "counselling", I've never been a big one for that route, especially after a really horrific bout that cost me my computer workstation collection because my late ex- "couldn't stand the clutter!" and he immediately took her side not being able to understand that technology has a history to it even if it still looks "new". That was blatantly unprofessional and I forever tainted my view of the profession. I'm also not a good candidate for professional "counselling" as that's mostly about coping with problems, not solving them. I am naturally an "active" personality and thus want to solve rather than simply tolerate problems. I've had pals compare my mental makeup to the Jedi of Star Wars fame. ("I'm not going to put up with this; I'm going to FIX IT!")

Never overlook friends as a source of helpful advice. They know you well, they know your foibles, and understand how you look at things; they may be able to offer some of their own wisdom. I routinely bounce things off pals looking for advice on something that's vexing me, and it's interesting to watch as ideas that I might not have thought of start to form a common theme from disparate sources.

[new2skirts]

In the dark days, there was true despair and yes, I got help. However, in the final analysis, I crossed the boundary all alone.
Steve.

Sounds like you have had a tough time to get where you are today Steve.
I think it is easier for me in 2022 to open the book on this subject. I've said before, I was confronted by my nonbinary daughter who said I didn't understand her. I did understand and I have not looked back since.
I am now faced with a new problem. My OH wants me to get some counseling. She thinks it will be helpful to discuss this with a professional.
I'm not at ease with this course of action. I've been in counseling before, at 27 when I started getting severe panic attacks. My experience of councellors does not fill me with confidence. Why? Here goes:
1. I'm not mentally ill
1. This isn't going to go away
2. The wrong councellor could take me in the direction of their speciality.
4. I could spend time with a "poor' councellor (I'm thinking the psychiatrist (played by Paul Kaye) in after life.
Does 'help' help?

Depends on what one hopes to achieve. Some therapists will keep you on their books forever, like an osteopath with never ending treatment, fixing a little at a time to keep the bucks rolling in.

What we see as a comfortable clothing choice (which causes anxiety as it's not what majority of society expect) might be dismissed as mental illness and the wearer must be trans and "had feelings since they were 5" etc

Your OH may want validation that this choice is either approved or discouraged by a second opinion, ie a so called professional. The usual "how far will this thing go / what's wrong with me" questions may go through your partner's mind. Show you are the same person regardless of what is worn on your lower half.

Skirtyscot seemed to have achieved this, and wears a number of professional outfits to work (even if some at work don't quite approve), and was pictured with his Mrs on holiday, the both of them skirted. We know the runaway successes of Mark as in Mark, Genderblender (Vlasta and his wife) who have thousands of followers on Instagram, and there are countless more skirted young men on such platforms, so it must be gathering pace if even Brad Pitt and others are joining the bandwagon. Even though prices are crazy, tons of skirted looks for guys feature on every catwalk, show your OH these images as well.

Pop to Tesco for the weekly shop in a skirt, I make an effort to buy some stockings each time or other items as it's perfectly normal for me to do so, and have had a laugh with girls on the checkout when I show them my skirt and say they're for me Do regular guy stuff, but in a denim skirt. Also, mix up your wardrobe, wear regular trousers / jeans from time to time, some go for complete skirt overkill which may frighten the horses.

I think therapy would be expensive and unnecessary, speak to good friends as well in meat space

[e2k2houck]

I just think that its great that the Mom is willing to let her son wear skirts. I have been wearing skirts for about 2 years, skirts not kilts. When it comes down to it it doesn't matter what you call them, they are too comfortable not to wear. I haven't had anyone say anything negative, in fact just the opposite. I have gotten plenty of complements on my skirts from both men and women. The only times I am not in one of my skirts is either when I'm at work, I need to wear a uniform I'm a transit bus mechanic, or when I'm riding my motorcycle. It does my heart good to see that things are starting to change and society is starting to accept men in skirts.

[ScotL]

I just think that its great that the Mom is willing to let her son wear skirts. I have been wearing skirts for about 2 years, skirts not kilts. When it comes down to it it doesn't matter what you call them, they are too comfortable not to wear. I haven't had anyone say anything negative, in fact just the opposite. I have gotten plenty of complements on my skirts from both men and women. The only times I am not in one of my skirts is either when I'm at work, I need to wear a uniform I'm a transit bus mechanic, or when I'm riding my motorcycle. It does my heart good to see that things are starting to change and society is starting to accept men in skirts.

They really are just too comfortable not to wear them. That’s the thing that’s getting me. If it was anything else, it’d be tied up in too much emotional baggage. But damn, they’re just so weirdly perfect as a bottom. I really hate pants. Like with a passion. Pants bunch and pinch and I never knew there was an alternative option until one night in covid isolation when I tried on my wife’s skirt after lounging around after a shower in a towel.

[STEVIE]

I just think that its great that the Mom is willing to let her son wear skirts.

Hi E2K2
Yeah, one might say that Mom is "one in a million" and right now she really is.
Maybe not unique, but a rare specimen none the less.
When, and if such parents become the rule not the exception, fashion freedom will have arrived and perhaps a happier world too.
Steve.

[rode_kater]

Yes, Steve went through a really rough patch there for a bit, and he learned the hard way that no matter how much "counselling" one gets (be it from pals or professionals) you still have to make the trip very much alone, because you're the only one that can do it.

A good friend of mine who has had a lot of therapy says that most people have the wrong view about it. They think they can go to a therapist like a doctor and have the therapist "fix" them. It doesn't work that way. At best the therapist/counsellor can hold up a mirror and give you some tips, but you have to do all the hard work yourself.

[STEVIE]

At best the therapist/counsellor can hold up a mirror and give you some tips, but you have to do all the hard work yourself.

Hi RK
I found that it led me to looking way down inside myself and all the way up again.
A lot of the "tips" were really the fruits of quite long conversations but not a "to-do" list.
It was some of the hardest work I have ever done in my whole damn life but also most rewarding too.
In a nutshell, the reward is in the third picture.
That is the amalgamation of the other two that allowed me to be the person I had wanted to be for too long.
Steve.

[Tazzmac]

Many years ago I recall a childrens TV show . I cannot recall the name of it but it was British , It featured a nanny who cared for a young boy and I sort of remember a phrase about him wearing a wool skirt or dress and she referred to him looking 'ducky' in it . Pretty sure this was an old complimentary term . I believe it was set in the 1920's or 30's .. Does anybody else recall it ?

Anyway for a long time boys were dressed in similar outfits to girls ,or indeed in kilts even when attending school sometimes until they were nearing a double figure age before breeching them . No-one thought much of it either . It was a normal thing for many decades .

First thing . I wonder how many blokes really wish to occasionally wear clothing devoid of a crotch if the truth be known. Over time it's just become generally accepted by western society especially that "normal "males don't wear uncrotched clothes . Funnily enough all the great empires like Babylon , Egyptians , Greeks , Romans and others were depicted in historical written and visual recordings with warriors and men in general in garments that modern times would refer to as skirts , tunics or dresses that are exactly that ..

Begs the question ..Why does what you wear have a bearing on how masculine or feminine the person is ? In reality it's just a body covering when it's all said and done . Sadly though the fear of being vilified for saying they wanted to wear a skirt or a dress will stop many completely normal blokes from taking steps to give them a try ..My point is the terms to describe the garment ie..skirt or dress might actually be a big part of why it's not widely accepted for normal blokes to try them . What would happen if a new name was used , would that make it more acceptable..Maybe not eh.. Who knows though ? To be perfectly honest , only the term kilt is what I personally use. However it's exactly what I wear in this regard but as I said before for those who use the term skirt or dress it's fine with me too ..Your choice always whatever is best for each person .

Second thing . Another indictment on society in this regard is someone suffering from incontinence . As a very young child or even as someone very elderly or severely disabled it's perfectly accepted for them to wear an item called a nappy or adult nappy to control mishaps . However an older child or someone as an adult suffering urinary or bowel incontinence use "undergarments" ," fitted briefs" , "slips or pads" and so on just to deter embarrassment even though those protective items are actually nappies for really young , incapacitated or old folk ..

Are we prisoners of normality ? I think so . I applaud all you guys who go forth and enjoy wearing what makes you happy and bugger societal normality . You have the strength of your convictions which I pay great respect to . I'll still use my kilts here and there for my bushwalking and such though so while not in your league I still find a pure joy wearing occasionally a kilt when I can ..

Cheers all..

[Sinned]

I don't remember the programme but the term "ducky" I remember as being a term of endearment similar to "love". To be "ducky" was to be charming, in a cute sort of way. To think of it as being feminine would be way too strong but maybe just a tad on the side of girly.

I remember having a discussion with my parents once when I was in Primary school about me coming out of shorts and wearing long trousers. I must have been about 7 or 8 years old.