- Member Extraordinaire
- Posts: 1426
- Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 6:39 am
- Location: Portland, OR, USA
But we should be prepared for that rare individual who doesn't quite know what to make of your presentation and has even less idea how to broach the subject. I think your instinct to try to make the other person comfortable is spot-on. Perhaps you could say, "You look kind of uncomfortable, what's troubling you?"
The other person will probably say, "Oh ... nothing."
To which you could reply, "I'm surprised, because you certainly looked uncomfortable. I hope it's not the way, I'm dressed because (and fill in with why you love your outfit, such as: "It's new," "really comfortable," "colorful," whatever). Be prepared for, "So why do you dress that way," or a confession that "Well, yes seeing you in dress threw me off." Own that it is unconventional and quickly move along to what you're there for.
Thankfully, you'll probably find those occasions to be few and far between.
Social norms aren't changed by Congress or Parliament; they're changed by a sufficient number of people ignoring the existing ones and publicly practicing new ones.
One case in particular, two years ago, I went to Sears for an eye exam wearing boring men's clothes, last year, I went back to the same store for an exam dressed in a low cut camisole, a mid length floral skirt and four inch heeled wedge sandals and didn't get anything in the way of a reaction from either the doctor of her staff. An inportant thing is to dress appropriately for the environment you're in and behave normally as if what you're wearing is no bid deal, because....IT ISN'T. It's just clothes, nothing more, nothing less.
- Member Extraordinaire
- Posts: 2007
- Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2015 2:50 am
- Location: Outback Australia
I have never thought of myself like that.
I wouldn't mind having that aura when confronted by some intractable bureaucrat.
I think that is quite common and seems to be the only way some people's brain can process the visual input.
Most time i wear long skirt but there times when i have short one on.
- Master Barista
- Posts: 11643
- Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
- Location: New England (U.S.)
That's my approach as well, and it's only very seldom failed. Just make it look natural and correct and folks will regard things as pretty close to normal. If somebody does quiz you, just be honest about your motives.
- Active Member
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- Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2007 11:30 am
- Location: London, England
I wore a just over the knee black linen skirt to an appointment for an ultrasound exam of my kidneys and surrounds and the operator referred to my shorts, which I didn’t correct but he can’t have not noticed, I figured it was just how he decided to deal with it.
Having resolved not to wear trousers to work again this year (not that I’ll be in the office that often) there are a couple of people I’m slightly nervous about meeting not because I think they’ll react negatively but it’ll still be a big thing for me. But I’m going to do it anyway because having decided to be more my authentic self at work, it wouldn’t be right not to.
Not sure where I got it from, somewhere in Reddit I think:
Most people won't notice
Most people who notice won't care.
Most people who care won't say anything
The number of people who will actually say anything is vanishingly small in my experience.