A Weight Off My Shoulders

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.
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Kieran
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A Weight Off My Shoulders

Post by Kieran »

Despite wearing skirts for a number of years now i have never actually told my Mom why i wear them, until today.
I started off by stating the following points:

1. Wearing skirts does not mean that i an gay.

2. Wearing skirts does not mean that i wish to transition into a women.

I then went on to say that i just see skirts as an alternative to shorts and that i find them comfortable to wear.
Overall i think it went well. There's a number of misconceptions that people may have about men that wear skirts, including points one and two above but i think ultimately the message that I'm the same as I've always been but just like to have skirts as an alternative option in my wardrobe came as a relief to her.

We then went on to discuss the skirts that i wear. For instance, she feels that the denim skirt i wear is alright but isn't too sure about the more "flowy" skirts that i have e.g. skater skirts (see my most recent post on my pics & looks thread for examples).
While i have leaned towards the more flowy skirts due to their ease of movement, i can see where she's coming from here and might see if there are denim skirts available that include a combination of the two. As people have noted in other threads, denim skirts are quite a good option for men and help you blend in quite well when you're out and about. I also explained that i have wore skirts while on holiday and received no adverse comments / reactions from other people, other than the odd double take the vast majority of people didn't notice. She has been reluctant in the past to got out with me while i'm wearing a skirt, perhaps things will change now but might be something to take slowly.

A thank you was received from her after i finished explaining things, i suspect that it's something that she's been worrying about but talking things through with her put her at ease about it.

From my perspective talking things through with her took a bit of weight off my shoulder. Was difficult to pluck up the courage to do it but it felt good to clear up any misconceptions she may have had and talk through exactly why i wear skirts.
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beachlion
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Re: A Weight Off My Shoulders

Post by beachlion »

That is the way to go. Keeping secrets will make things worse when they come to light.

Now you can build up some "getting used to" with different styles. Those skirts should represent you in the end.
All progress takes place outside the comfort zone - M J Bobak
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denimini
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Re: A Weight Off My Shoulders

Post by denimini »

That is great. There are denim skirts with a pleated/ruffled hem (as in my avatar) that might make a good transition to the more flowy (and comfortable) style. One big advantage with flowy skirts, particularly when they are short, is that they drape well when seated which lets you relax a bit more about posture ......... perhaps you could explain that aspect to your Mum.
Anthony, a denim miniskirt wearer in Outback Australia
Faldaguy
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Re: A Weight Off My Shoulders

Post by Faldaguy »

Given she is familiar with you in skirts, but reluctant to go out in public with you; what if you had some friends over from time to time while skirted so she will discover it is not such as a big deal.

Hey, Skirt Cafe members: Maybe we need some declarative document, or a sub-section to Introductions:

"I'm a man who wear skirts at home and in public. In 10 years I've never had anyone express concern. I live in the Springfield, IL" etc.

A couple hundred such endorsement/reviews that newbies could hand their parents or S.O? Would it help break the logjams?

Of course, you could have them read SC posts with you, but some of us might be a bit hard to take! :P
nzfreestyler
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Re: A Weight Off My Shoulders

Post by nzfreestyler »

Hi Kieran,

I had a similar situation a few years back that came to a head at a family get together over the new year period. My wider family were obviously aware of my breast development from many years prior, but my fashion choices had always been a bit of a struggle for my mother in particular, and some of the wider family. My sister has been great support for me as she has no issues with how I dress and what I wear.

Things came to a bit of head over my lingerie in the washing, but that brought everything to the table in a way and the situation became more of an opportunity to talk about it, and with my sisters support too - it resolved well and I think made some sense to the family, even if some of my choices are perceived too feminine, and for women only to wear....they do understand that If I like how the clothes look, and I feel good wearing them, then why can't I wear them. I need to wear something, so why couldn't I choose something that I think I look good in?

Anyhow that's a few years ago and it really did help to have that discussion, and I was surprised that talking about it, other family members had my back. Now when we get together I wear whatever I feel like, which is great, although I doubt we'll have much going on this year!!

cheers
NZF
new2skirts
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Re: A Weight Off My Shoulders

Post by new2skirts »

nzfreestyler wrote:
Sun Apr 26, 2020 3:32 am
Hi Kieran,

I had a similar situation a few years back that came to a head at a family get together over the new year period. My wider family were obviously aware of my breast development from many years prior, but my fashion choices had always been a bit of a struggle for my mother in particular, and some of the wider family. My sister has been great support for me as she has no issues with how I dress and what I wear.

Things came to a bit of head over my lingerie in the washing, but that brought everything to the table in a way and the situation became more of an opportunity to talk about it, and with my sisters support too - it resolved well and I think made some sense to the family, even if some of my choices are perceived too feminine, and for women only to wear....they do understand that If I like how the clothes look, and I feel good wearing them, then why can't I wear them. I need to wear something, so why couldn't I choose something that I think I look good in?

Anyhow that's a few years ago and it really did help to have that discussion, and I was surprised that talking about it, other family members had my back. Now when we get together I wear whatever I feel like, which is great, although I doubt we'll have much going on this year!!

cheers
NZF
I think items like lingerie are for the wearer to consider and choose. If you feel good in such, wear it! As you already have breasts, I would see no problem in any such lingerie set, for me, it's panties as there's no boobs (yet) , but that would be my own choice. I had a similar conversation with my parents, whilst in a smart M&S skirt, blouse, cardigan and boots and said this is the way I wish to be known now. It didn't require feminine names or personas, just acceptance for who I was. If I did choose to transition later on, it is no longer a big shock. But as living as gender fluid, it's been easier now I have said my piece. Glad I did it before this lockdown nonsense. Now if I wore my lovely skirt suit to dinner with them, it is a lot easier. Not all will appreciate the news, some will feel discomfort.
Formerly Kilty / Joe Public etc...
KiltedintheValley
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Re: A Weight Off My Shoulders

Post by KiltedintheValley »

I am happy for you Kieran. I hope someday to reveal my skirt wearing to my broader family (they currently still only tolerate my kilts!). You are an inspiration!
"Never take counsel of your fears." - Stonewall Jackson
"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not." - Andre Gide
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Epiceneguy
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Re: A Weight Off My Shoulders

Post by Epiceneguy »

Nice one Kieran, good to hear about good things happening, great pictures too mate.
When life gives you lemons, slice them and put them into your G&T!
Happy-N-Skirts
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Interesting Day

Post by Happy-N-Skirts »

I have been thinking up interesting things to do while being locked up. I have a certain amount of antique guns and decided to go out and shoot one or two and went to a local gun store for some supplies: Gun cleaning patches, bullet lubrication, percussion caps, cleaning brush, etc. I didn't bother getting dressed in pants and went to a gun store wearing a skirt. It was a running kilt (Runningkilt.com). NO ONE NOTICED. The store was pretty full of people buying guns, ammunition, accessories, etc. I think my running kilt looks a lot like shorts and I know I was the most comfortable male there.
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Fred in Skirts
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Re: A Weight Off My Shoulders

Post by Fred in Skirts »

The last time my daughter and son in law where down he built a fine shooting range on the property and I have been making good use of it during look down. I usually put up targets of some bad people and use that to shoot away my frustrations. It is very relaxing!! :lol: :lol:
Fred :kiltdance:

"The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle."


"It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you are not" Andre Gide: 1869 - 1951
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Sinned
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Re: A Weight Off My Shoulders

Post by Sinned »

When I told my mum she was fine with it. I explained the reasons and she agreed with me whioleheartedly. I've since been to see her several times while skirted and she dislikes leggings/trousers. She's only worn dresses or skirts for all the time I've known her. It's MOH that has a problem although since being fuloughed I've worn a skirt all day every day and she's only winged once.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
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crfriend
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Re: A Weight Off My Shoulders

Post by crfriend »

My late ex- was fine with it pretty much since I first floated the idea about 12 years into our relationship. She spent a few moments fretting over what "It Might Mean" and eventually came to the conclusion of, "There's fifteen seconds I'm never getting back." and that, as they say, was that. In return for getting a man who wore skirts she also got one who started taking an interest in how he looked which thrilled her no end and which made her an eager participant in the new regime. She got a great deal in that.
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