Postive Wife Support

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.
Faldaguy
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 5:09 am

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by Faldaguy »

Despite my occasional rant about 'just get out there and wear 'em" some of you may recall my confession of not wearing skirts when flying due to fears of hassles from TSA and authoritarian types. Some you said, you have flown wearing your skirts/dresses with no more hassle than anywhere else -- i.e. no hassle at all. So, we got lucky and found a "repatriation" flight back to Costa Rica after being stuck for weeks on the Oregon coast! (Hardly a bad spot to be stuck, but not home.) Anyway, I 'manned up' and kept my daily wear (skirts) on and by-gosh we flew from PDX, to DEN, to IAH today without a blink -- well, no spoken ones anyway. And tomorrow, God willing, we will get the final leg from IAH to SJO -- and I plan to make it in skirts. This was pretty much the last 'hurdle' for me -- so thanks guy for sharing your experiences -- it works. For the curious, the skirt was not very daring at all -- just an almost ankle length black denim like cloth done in a bit of a cargo-skirt style matched with rod and stream all-weather shirt, and sandals -- geared for comfort foremost, and no shock value.)

Pura vida

User avatar
denimini
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1876
Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2015 2:50 am
Location: Outback Australia

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by denimini »

Sinned wrote:
Fri Apr 24, 2020 3:57 pm
Since furloughed in March I have worn a different skirt every day all day. MOH has said, and she is convinced, that I will continue to wear a skirt around the house when it all finishes. She has only winged once when I went out of the door to look at something. She may be right about me continuing to wear a skirt more often but I suppose I will have to wear shorts/trousers at home sometimes.
Exposure and de-sensitisation is a good strategy for overcoming a number of things, like arachnophobia and dislike of male partners wearing skirts.
Anthony, a denim miniskirt wearer in Outback Australia

pelmut
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1249
Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2014 10:36 am
Location: Somerset, England

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by pelmut »

denimini wrote:
Mon May 11, 2020 8:52 am
Exposure and de-sensitisation is a good strategy for overcoming a number of things, like arachnophobia and dislike of male partners wearing skirts.
...but fear of spiders has some sort of rationality about it ...
There is no such thing as a normal person, only someone you don't know very well yet.

geron
Distinguished Member
Posts: 123
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2017 12:31 pm
Location: Surrey

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by geron »

jamesy wrote:
Mon Apr 20, 2020 6:34 am
Yet another conversion with my wife about me in skirts.

Apparently she is ok with me wearing them providing I don't wear one she would wear? :o
My wife, unprompted, used exactly the same words to me yesterday. So perhaps this is a common reaction. (Unfortunately it was in relation to denim skirts, but at least it's useful information!)

User avatar
crfriend
Master Barista
Posts: 11449
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
Location: New England (U.S.)
Contact:

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by crfriend »

geron wrote:
Fri May 15, 2020 5:49 am
jamesy wrote:
Mon Apr 20, 2020 6:34 am
Apparently [my wife] is ok with me wearing them providing I don't wear one she would wear? :o
My wife, unprompted, used exactly the same words to me yesterday. So perhaps this is a common reaction. (Unfortunately it was in relation to denim skirts, but at least it's useful information!)
Might it be possible to ferret out whether there is a time-constraint involved? By this thinking, I'm trying to figure out whether the wife's statement is an absolute and permanent ban of styles she might wear (which could include anything) or whether it's a statement that she doesn't want you wearing something that'd match what she's wearing at the moment.

If it's the former, then it's effectively an outright and permanent ban on all skirts; if the latter, then that's something quite easy to work around with a bit of effort and diligence on everybody's part.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!

User avatar
beachlion
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1623
Joined: Wed Aug 14, 2013 3:15 am
Location: 65 year The Hague, The Netherlands, then Allentown, PA, USA

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by beachlion »

My wife is still way off when it comes to accepting my choise of clothing. Whit the temperature quite high today (at last), I started the day with a circle skirt of 360 degrees about 2 inches above the knee. So it has a lot of drape. According to her it moves too much in a girly way when I walk.

That started the discussion (again) and asked if anybody could like skirts on men. I showed her some comments on the Internet from people after I typed in the question on Quora. Most of them were quite positive or neutral but she was not impressed. So I'm back at square one, it is tolerated and nothing more. Her mindset is very rigid in this.
All progress takes place outside the comfort zone - M J Bobak

Happy-N-Skirts
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 402
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2016 5:39 pm

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by Happy-N-Skirts »

Try some "masculine" skirts such as kilts. They don't need to be authentic. There are a lot of plaid pleated skirts online and are inexpensive. Try camouflage skirts. Kohl's has some nice ones very cheap. Tarnista, Shein, are some others. Get a khaki skirt from Dickie's. I shortened mine above the knees. How about denim?

User avatar
beachlion
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1623
Joined: Wed Aug 14, 2013 3:15 am
Location: 65 year The Hague, The Netherlands, then Allentown, PA, USA

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by beachlion »

Happy-N-Skirts wrote:
Fri May 15, 2020 11:05 pm
Try some "masculine" skirts such as kilts. They don't need to be authentic. There are a lot of plaid pleated skirts online and are inexpensive. Try camouflage skirts. Kohl's has some nice ones very cheap. Tarnista, Shein, are some others. Get a khaki skirt from Dickie's. I shortened mine above the knees. How about denim?
With kilts no problem. It is the girly aspect of some skirts that is a problem for my wife. I have a lot of denim and as long as it is in the bracket of shorts, it is accepted without much comments.

I think I will plug her inbox with comments from other people about the concept of men in skirts. Maybe that will change her mindset a little.
All progress takes place outside the comfort zone - M J Bobak

nzfreestyler
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 497
Joined: Sat May 25, 2019 12:21 am

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by nzfreestyler »

I would try a leather skirt - above knee in a slight a-line cut - like a b-line skirt. Leather is not flowing - yet it is classical and will serve you well. An invest clothing piece. I have plenty of leather skirts and they are all worth the investment.

I think camouflage skirts are on trend at the moment so my gut feel is for a woman they might say 'summer, camouflage mini, sun tan, thin white t shirt, t-shirt bra, white sneakers or slingbacks' - which is their realm ... or what they perceive to be for them. They will be confusing things with current trends?

cheers
NZF

Faldaguy
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 5:09 am

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by Faldaguy »

Goes without saying, wives are important and many seem to want their guy to look like a guy -- so give her what she wants for now and see if you can't 'ease' her into it; any chances for public exposure, even guests, that give her a chance to learn few if any are concerned and some will compliment will probably do more than bombarding her with outside comments that may be taken as 'harassment or cajoling' instead of respect for her opinion. NZF & those pointing out the 'guy-like' or 'looks like shorts' -- big low cargo pockets, etc are on track in my view as there are plenty of items there that are quite comfortable even if not as dressy or glamorous.

Maybe save the 'girly' stuff for evenings at home so she can get use to them? Maybe hold off on the accessories, shoes, stockings, etc. until she starts to suggest them. Asking for her help/suggestions opinion may help her buy-in. "Sweetie, I know you prefer the kilt or pants, but if I'm since I am going to wear a skirt today, do you prefer the beige one or the denim with this shirt?" "What do you recommend with my green A line skirt--you know the comes a bit above the knee with drawstring waist." Let her know you are trying to please her, but at the same time being clear that you are choosing to wear skirts.

Good luck. Been there.

geron
Distinguished Member
Posts: 123
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2017 12:31 pm
Location: Surrey

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by geron »

crfriend wrote:
Fri May 15, 2020 12:26 pm
geron wrote:
Fri May 15, 2020 5:49 am
jamesy wrote:
Mon Apr 20, 2020 6:34 am
Apparently [my wife] is ok with me wearing them providing I don't wear one she would wear? :o
My wife, unprompted, used exactly the same words to me yesterday. So perhaps this is a common reaction. (Unfortunately it was in relation to denim skirts, but at least it's useful information!)
Might it be possible to ferret out whether there is a time-constraint involved? By this thinking, I'm trying to figure out whether the wife's statement is an absolute and permanent ban of styles she might wear (which could include anything) or whether it's a statement that she doesn't want you wearing something that'd match what she's wearing at the moment.

If it's the former, then it's effectively an outright and permanent ban on all skirts; if the latter, then that's something quite easy to work around with a bit of effort and diligence on everybody's part.
I think a whole web of considerations and cultural associations is in play, ranging from mere tastes in fashion to the fear that a skirt-wearing husband may be trying to work his way towards some more seriously marriage-threatening development.

However, I've been going out for a daily walk around town with my wife since late March, always skirted, and she has never objected. No doubt I'm benefiting from the habituation effect. At any rate, I'm under no general ban. And I'm gradually getting to understand the factors which are critical.

She tells me she is 100 per cent happy with kilts (presumably because they are indisputably masculine), yet I'm drawn increasingly to skirts because they are less bulky and heavy. The Elkline wrap skirt pictured earlier in this thread appears to count as an honorary kilt, as does this,
https://hiatus-shop.com/en/2010-hiatus- ... black.html
...which I've worn to parties a few times. It's really nice to wear, but is a kilt only in name. She has also given the nod to a hiking skirt or hiking kilt (really another wrap skirt) from Purple Rain Adventure Skirts.

I know she doesn't want to see me pencil skirts or in anything shorter than knee length -- and I'm willing to accept that my legs are nothing like as good as some in this parish. After that, it seems to be largely about avoiding styles or colours she would wear. For example, when I wanted to buy an Aqueous skirt from Skirtcraft.com, she disallowed the purple, even though I thought it looked quite discreet. But she let me have it in grey -- for her, a no-go area because her school uniform of long ago included a grey skirt.

NZF suggests trying a leather skirt, though unfortunately that won't work here. I do have a leather kilt, which my wife allows because, er, it's a kilt. I'd have no chance otherwise, because she has several leather miniskirts. Don't want to discourage her from wearing those! I do have a couple of faux-leather skirts, one of which I like a lot, but she hasn't seen them.

So in my case, it's a permanent ban on styles which she might wear and not just a matter of what she might be wearing on a particular day.

User avatar
hillaryskirt
Active Member
Posts: 71
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2019 4:55 pm

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by hillaryskirt »

Nice bit of compromise being big enough to let the wife have the skirt.
Truth is we may love skirts but women love them in a really intensive way - perhaps understandable to a trans woman but not always to a cis Male.
:ugeek: :shock:
"The past is never dead. It's not even past." - William Faulkner.

User avatar
beachlion
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1623
Joined: Wed Aug 14, 2013 3:15 am
Location: 65 year The Hague, The Netherlands, then Allentown, PA, USA

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by beachlion »

In the 6 years I'm into skirts, my wife has not changed her view. Between tolerating and accepting, she still is nearer tolerating than accepting. The flowy circle skirt I wore yesterday she hated just because she find it flaunting. I'm afraid we are stuck in our ways with no hope of improvement.
All progress takes place outside the comfort zone - M J Bobak

User avatar
beachlion
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1623
Joined: Wed Aug 14, 2013 3:15 am
Location: 65 year The Hague, The Netherlands, then Allentown, PA, USA

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by beachlion »

I still don't give up. I will start some wrap skirts that have some kilt-like properties. Maybe that will ease the situation.
All progress takes place outside the comfort zone - M J Bobak

Faldaguy
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 5:09 am

Re: Postive Wife Support

Post by Faldaguy »

Between tolerating and accepting, she still is nearer tolerating than accepting. BL
I suspect a LOT of guys in this forum would be tickled pink (or blue) to have a S.O. that tolerates. Accepting more oft seem to be friends; and the Endorsing woman is a rare wonder! Sounds like you've a pretty decent thing going and a good woman too.

Post Reply