Challenging the attitude.

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Challenging the attitude.

Post by STEVIE »

This could be classed as an out and about topic but maybe there is a wider question too.
I was in a bus queue yesterday and among the travellers was a trans girl who just happens to be a peer of my son.
There was a woman sitting next to me within the bus shelter itself. She wasted no time in drawing my attention to
the girl who was standing outside the shelter having a smoke.
The comments were not complimentary and I simply told her to mind her own business as it did not affect her own life.
She obviously had not clocked my attire at that point.
I did not cause any kind of fuss or scene, I doubt if anyone else heard the conversation and certainly not the girl.
When I related this at home I was told in no uncertain terms that I should have ignored the woman and said nothing.
I contend that if you say or do nothing there will never be change.
Perhaps some very bad things could have been avoided if behaviours and attitudes had been challenged in the past?
My only hope is that I gave the woman cause to re-think, she did give a nice smile and wished me well as I disembarked.
The worst part is that my own family does not fill me with optimism.

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Re: Challenging the attitude.

Post by oldsalt1 »

You did nothing wrong by answering her. She started the conversation.

Unfortunately nothing you said was going to have an effect on her.

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Re: Challenging the attitude.

Post by kingfish »

Good on telling her off.
Her making conversation with you invited your opinion, regardless of the tone. Keeping the opinions honest is always the right course.

Deriding the trans girl behind her back shows that our civilized society, below the surface, still has a way to go. In my experience, just telling her to mind her own business was probably counterproductive. If she was doing it as discreetly as you said, there's a safe bet she already heard that lesson and didn't take it to heart. That being said, she still needed a corrective lecture. I probably would have gone for undermining her bigoted opinions more directly, asking why she thought it was wrong and going from there.

I've heard of similar conversation(s) from my best friend involving someone else that I knew and (had until that point) respected.

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Re: Challenging the attitude.

Post by denimini »

I think you did the right thing. She stared the conversation and it would have been rude to ignore her. Perhaps it hasn't changed her thinking but it will certainly make her less likely to expose her bigotted ideas.
Anthony, a denim miniskirt wearer in Outback Australia

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