advice

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.

advice

Postby eightofnine » Mon Aug 06, 2018 12:55 pm

Next may i will be going on a cruise with my friend Lee from work .So mum spoke to me she thinks i should ask lee if he's ok with me wearing a skirt while traveling with him . what do you think ? I want to be able to wear what i like, I've been out with him a few times but i don't think he;s really noticed .What if he says he doesn't like me wearing a skirt i don't see why i should have to change .
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Re: advice

Postby oldsalt1 » Mon Aug 06, 2018 2:03 pm

wearing what you want is a great idea but If two men go on a trip that's ok if one of them is wearing skirts you become a very nice gay couple with a man and a women.

This could be very unpleasant for him and even both of you.

I am going on a cruise next march its with a very good friend of mine who knows I wear skirts. While he is not completely opposed to my skirts I can sense hesitation in his voice over the issue.

While I am not overly concerned what opinion strangers have about myself. We are going to be doing things together eating sightseeing etc. And be honest if you see two men together and one is in a skirt. what would you think and is it fair to put him in that situation.

And from the crude side of the isle. The idea and hope is to be able to hook up with some nice ladies who are out for some fun . I would think that being part of that " gay couple" is going to reduce your chances.
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Re: advice

Postby Jim » Mon Aug 06, 2018 3:11 pm

Does Lee ask your approval about what he wears?
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Re: advice

Postby Caultron » Mon Aug 06, 2018 5:12 pm

eightofnine wrote:Next may i will be going on a cruise with my friend Lee from work .So mum spoke to me she thinks i should ask lee if he's ok with me wearing a skirt while traveling with him . what do you think ? I want to be able to wear what i like, I've been out with him a few times but i don't think he;s really noticed .What if he says he doesn't like me wearing a skirt i don't see why i should have to change .

It's usually best not to ask if you might not like the answer.

If your friend is OK being with you wearing a skirt around town, I wouldn't think being on a cruise would be any different. Just let him see you always wearing a skirt in the meantime.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

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Re: advice

Postby oldsalt1 » Mon Aug 06, 2018 5:44 pm

Sorry if I am being argumentative . You say don't bring up the question. This isn't a casual trip to the diner or a movie. This is a cruise with a number of days and nights spent sharing a cabin etc. I am sure this trip is costing a nice piece of change. . How your bunkmate is going to be dressed is not something you can just forget about until the last minute.

Its the same as if you went on a trip with someone and they intended to dress in I think it is "Goth" you would want to know about it.

Call me homophobic if you want. But I am the one who wears the skirts. and I am aware that being in close quarters with someone dressed the way I do is going to result in a definite perception of our relationship. And if he objected to that the time to find out is now not as we are getting on the cruise ship..

And please don't go under the misconception that just because he hasn't said anything he doesn't notice your skirts. Again is it a trip to the bar or a movie. its a number of days sharing a room

Look I hope that he is ok with it and that you are able to wear what ever you want , But your mother is right the time to find out is now

.
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Re: advice

Postby weeladdie18 » Mon Aug 06, 2018 6:42 pm

Our friends have posted in the past regarding the problems with going skirted on a cruise.......you have to share a room with a friend........
there is also the broader issue of other parties on the ship ,who you may meet at regular intervals every day of your voyage.........
If there is a problem with their attitude ,you cannot walk away from it and go home........you are stuck on a ship.......there are many issues
which may or may not occur.....you have to dress your best when stuck with your company for a number of days....It is perhaps not a matter of
being dressed for the occasion ,but knowing from experience ; how to dress for the occasion. ................best of luck.....weeladdie
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Re: advice

Postby kilty » Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:50 pm

Deleted the last lot of advice... pack some comfy skirts, and some dressy ones for dinner! If possible a pencil dress (midi) in black will suffice for dinner, with light denier tights and a pair of flat shoes :) You have plenty of time to decide your wardrobe, I'm sure it will go well :wink:
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Re: advice

Postby SkirtsDad » Mon Aug 06, 2018 10:14 pm

eightofnine wrote:Next may i will be going on a cruise with my friend Lee from work .So mum spoke to me she thinks i should ask lee if he's ok with me wearing a skirt while traveling with him . what do you think ? I want to be able to wear what i like, I've been out with him a few times but i don't think he;s really noticed .What if he says he doesn't like me wearing a skirt i don't see why i should have to change .


eightofnine, you don't really explain what you mean by "i don't think he's really noticed", and that may have a bearing on people's advice. However, as some have pointed out, you will be on a boat with no easy exit for either you or your friend, therefore, do you think it is a good time to test your friendship with surprises? What if he's not wearing what you expect? Could be as innocent as lederhosen and feather hat, but could be far worse. How would you cope?

oldsalt1 wrote:wearing what you want is a great idea but If two men go on a trip that's ok if one of them is wearing skirts you become a very nice gay couple with a man and a women.

Not that it's any of our business what eightofnine's sexual preference is but what if he doesn't wear a skirt and people think they are a gay couple, is that a problem OS?

Surely we are about breaking down the stereotype of attaching clothing to sexual orientation. Whether his friend is comfortable with him wearing a skirt is one thing....worrying about what others think is surely another altogether. Out of all the gay male couples I know, and have known in the past, I have come across absolutely ZERO gay male couples where anyone wears a skirt. I do know one that wears a sarong though!
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Re: advice

Postby crfriend » Mon Aug 06, 2018 11:08 pm

As far as the interpersonal dynamics go, it's going to be fairly obvious to observers whether they're looking at "a couple" or simple friends. That's an almost trivial observation as the behaviours are vastly different.

My approach in this instance would be to pack mainly skirts, but also a trousered rig or two "just in case". As far as the skirts themselves go, be yourself and everything should go well. There's at least one guy here who's gone a cruise with his wife -- and I believe he wore a skirt to the Captain's Table and had a formal shot of the couple taken whilst wearing the skirt. No problems were reported. The couple looked lovely.

With pants in the arsenal, any objection can be overcome by simply complying with "Western Norms"; if there's no opposition that cannot be overcome, then you have an "out".
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
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Re: advice

Postby r.m.anderson » Tue Aug 07, 2018 12:58 am

Factors yet to be addressed - going and returning on the cruise - by air TSA security checks - - -
What cruise line are you taking ?
I would think that NCL*** with its FreeStyle cruising would be the most forgiving in clothing dress code - - -
Travel to northern hemisphere ports (Canada Mexico Caribbean) OK and those of the northern European countries - - -
Eastern Mediterranean countries (ports) questionable ???

*** I am a frequent cruiser on NCL and wear my kilts exclusively throughout the voyage even going and coming by air.
The hem length dictates the occasion - 14-16 (mini-kilt) inch everyday wear and 19-21 inch for dining in the better restaurants.
Short sox during the day and kilt sox (over the calf) with flashes for the posh better restaurant.
Top it off with a poet peasant (pirate) blousy shirt and pass the maite' d muster check - on one trip the MD brought a bottle
of wine to my table - never seen a kilt in his restaurant before made for great conversation.

My first cruise on Princess for the formal dress night I wore the full Prince Charlie regalia and egads everywhere I went
where is the bride ?
what is the occasion ?
Photo crew were knocking themselves out wanting to take pictures - yea ! No charge ! ***
*** wanting PR advertising photos of their work got a few complimentary.

One cruise on Holland American pretty much the same as Princess - a formal night or two
Had three trips on Carnival if you want to dine formally no jeans - kilts ok

The Alaskan cruises throw the dress code rule book away - jeans lumber jack plaid shirt logging boots and that is First Class attire !
The Caribbean and Mediterranean cruises - Smart Casual is the rule most often observed.

The only real problem wearing short Mini-Kilts on a ship is the glass elevators in the Atrium or climbing the ladderwells (staircases)
the usual precautions and protocol apply and be careful around the theatre you might be confused with one of the stage acts and
Shanghaied to a performance !

How skirts will be taken is something unknown - sort of like uncharted waters although I am sure that the icebergs have already been encountered and conquered !
Acceptance by all on board is an uncertain element - yada yada yada

So Good Luck don't sink the ship bringing the house down !
"Kilt-On" -or- as the case may be "Skirt-On" !
WHY ?
Isn't wearing a kilt enough?
Well a skirt will do in a pinch!
Make mine short and don't you dare think of pinching there !
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Re: advice

Postby Fred in Skirts » Tue Aug 07, 2018 3:50 am

eightofnine wrote:Next may i will be going on a cruise with my friend Lee from work .So mum spoke to me she thinks i should ask lee if he's ok with me wearing a skirt while traveling with him . what do you think ? I want to be able to wear what i like, I've been out with him a few times but i don't think he;s really noticed .What if he says he doesn't like me wearing a skirt i don't see why i should have to change .

Well I'm going to chime in here with my advice (might as well since it seems everyone else has)......
Have a good trip and enjoy yourself!! :D
Fred :kiltdance:

:whistle: Hi I am Fred and I wear skirts all of the time. :hooray:
"It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you are not"
Andre Gide: 1869 - 1951
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Re: advice

Postby oldsalt1 » Tue Aug 07, 2018 7:53 am

Everybody is rendering pleasant stories about their experiences while wearing kilts and skirts on a cruise. I think you are all missing the point of the question.

Eightofnine asked the question should he make sure his traveling partner is "on board" with the idea of him wearing skirts.

so the question is should he bring up the subject of his wardrobe with his traveling partner before the cruise. yes or no I say yes.
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Re: advice

Postby denimini » Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:51 am

I don't think I have asked anyone but I have worn pants to meet a friend at the Library achives, knowing him well enough to reckon he would be a bit uncomfortabe but not say anything out of respect for me. Also I expected to climbing ladders to access high shelves ....... which didn't happen. After my submarine experience it pays to be cautious.
I think your mum is right, you should ask. Your friend might say he would be uncomfortable, and you should be happy to wear pants out of respect. He might say it is OK and still feel uncomfortable, but that is his call and would be out of respect for you.
It is all about consideration and respect for others. If the answer is not favourable, then you should be pleased that you are thoughtful and unselfish enough to give up something for the sake of a friend.
Anthony, a denim miniskirt wearer in Outback Australia
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Re: advice

Postby eightofnine » Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:53 am

we will be going on a royal Caribbean cruise rhapsody of the seas from Venice next May goes Croatia ,Montenegro and a few Greek Islands .I am don't care what other passengers think of me i just worry how it will affect him .I want him to have a good time and not be embarrassed to be around me .
When i have been out with him in town wearing a skirt i had a sweater around my waist so i am not sure he noticed , when i was buying a skirt in work the other day he seamed surprised i was buying one and asked if was for my mother and when i told him it was for me he said ok .he wants to go see a movie so i think i will wear a skirt but without a sweater and see what he thinks then have a talk with him .
As for the gay couple we are probably going to get that anyway it doesn't bother me ,in work i have already had some comments made to me by fellow colleges .I do tease him a lot i tell people that when we go to town to see a movie that we go on a " mandate" and bout our cruise i say we are going on a " mancation"
.I have worse skirts on a cruise but only by myself i was on Brilliance in May and it was great .Although there was this Mexican lady she wanted her photo taken with me because she thought i was wearing something traditional from my home county she was wearing a home made traditional Mexican dress she had a crew member take photos of us all around the ship .we did exchange information but she has yet to email me the photos .
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Re: advice

Postby Gusto10 » Tue Aug 07, 2018 9:08 am

Do check out the website of the company as to what the dresscode is. Otherwise send them an e-mail. Having had a quick look at the website and the area you are going visit, casual during daytime, smart (jacket and tie) at diner.
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