Still have problems outside my own house

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.

Still have problems outside my own house

Postby hairy » Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:00 am

I'm STILL having problems going just outside my house while skirted. I might have said this before, I can be in crowds of people and happily walk around other towns while skirted without a care, but just outside my own house is a problem. I almost run to my house door which is just a few feet away when I jump out of the car. Most of the time I put my trousers on in the car as we get close to home. I know I should just hold my head up and be brave but its hard. I have some horrible neighbours who enjoy gossip usually aimed at me and I have some great friendly neighbours but they wouldn't understand my being skirted. One who see my nails painted many months ago was shocked but he's got over it and now I go out of my way to show and we have a bit of a laugh, but to let him know about skirts is so difficult.

A few times lately I've gone skirted in different places in my home town, and I've even pushed myself to carry cans to water plants just outside my garden but all the time hopeing and praying no one see's me. This really is the hardest par,t apart from letting my elderly father know that I have to face. I certainly won't want my father to know but how can I get over this neighbour problem? I know the just do it thing but I don't seem to be that brave. I wear skirts in my secluded garden, I answer door to postman skirted, but just being skirted beyond my gate is something else and its doing my head in, I just want to be free to be me, to walk around the corner to my garage would be great but I've only managed that a couple of times. I'm making slight progress but at this rate I'll be dead before I feel free to be me. I need to get over this as soon as possible because its causing me stress.
User avatar
hairy
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 273
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2015 2:22 pm
Location: UK

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby shadowfax » Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:52 am

May I offer a suggestion? Maybe have a word with your GP and see if they would refer you to a counselor for a chat about your concerns over your neighbours?
shadowfax
Distinguished Member
 
Posts: 124
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2013 9:05 am
Location: UK

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby FranTastic444 » Sat Jul 14, 2018 1:12 pm

My only wearing outside the house was a drunken rush to the postbox at something like 2.00am in the morning. Just taking a picture and posting it up on here (with head chopped) was a big deal for me - so I share your pain. When I first started wearing in the house I'd shut all the blinds so nobody could see into the house.

My wife is struggling to accept my new hobby and I don't think that wearing outside will be an option for me. If it were, I'd probably only do it away from home. I lived in a very working class (read racist, homophobic, redneck) town in the UK and there is no way I'd consider wearing anything non-conforming there. Where I now live in the US is much more progressive, but I'm still not sure I'd wear a skirt in the vicinity of my home (even if I did get a green light from the wife).

Anyhow, I'm rambling and not addressing your point. For what it's worth, if I were in your position I'd be happy with keeping the skirting for areas where you are not stressing - house, garden, away from home. Personally I'd just skip the wearing right by home because I don't think it would be worth giving problem neighbours any ammunition. I guess it boils down to how important this is for you - is it really worth the stress it is causing?
FranTastic444
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 203
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2018 1:47 am
Location: Boston, MA

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby oldsalt1 » Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:06 pm

You wear skirts because it feels good. So do what feels good . If you get too stressed out wearing close to home its simple Don't . It"s for sure that nobody on the café is going to criticize you for it.

Wear where you are happy and in time things around home will change .. You don't have to push it.

Fortunately I have accepting neighbors. One of them even invited me to go to a local winery for wine tasting. I asked him if it would bother him if I wore a skirt. He said it didn't matter what I wore.
User avatar
oldsalt1
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 1645
Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 8:25 pm
Location: Long Island, New York

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby Sinned » Sat Jul 14, 2018 6:19 pm

hairy, I do share your pain in this. I wore skirts out of the house for a while but I had a real anxiety concern about wearing a skirt to visit my local newsagent. Partly because just about everyone in the neighbourhood would visit the newsagent at some time or another and I think that I was afraid that I would be gossiped about. Then very early one Sunday morning while MOH was still asleep I plucked up the courage and went for a newspaper. Nothing was said. There were a couple of adolescent boys there making up the morning rounds and they completely accepted my attire. It took a lot of nerve to do it but afterward I just wondered what I was really worried about. I have been there several times since with the same acceptance. So yes I do know how you feel about locals. As for the gossips and vindictive ones, the only way to combat them is to face them down and go up to them and say that you are not going to let them spoil your enjoyment of wearing a skirt and am not going to put up with any vindictiveness from them. Explain that it takes a lot of kudos for you to do this and it's something that they just don't have an ounce of. You will probably find that if you call their bluff they'll back down. You can either do each neighbour one at a time or do them all at once, one after the other. As has been said many times the only thing to fear is fear itself. I don't have any sour neighbours so don't have the problem.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
User avatar
Sinned
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 3139
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2012 5:28 pm
Location: York, England

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby Fred in Skirts » Sat Jul 14, 2018 6:20 pm

Here's my two cents worth..... :roll:

If your are afraid of your neighbors gossip and if there is good reason to be just keep doing what you are doing now. Go skirted in your garden and in other places the you feel safe in doing it. JUST STOP WORRYING about it. Try to be happy with what you have and don't worry about what you don't have. Whats the old song say "Don't worry, Be happy!" If you want to wear skirts all of the time just try to do so when you can... :D
Fred :kiltdance:

:whistle: Hi I am Fred and I wear skirts all of the time. :hooray:
"It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you are not"
Andre Gide: 1869 - 1951
User avatar
Fred in Skirts
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 1668
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:48 pm
Location: Southeast Corner of Aiken County, SC USA

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby crfriend » Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:39 pm

I'm in Sinned's corner here. If you capitulate on this, you've lost. Full stop. You're not doing anything "wrong", much less illegal. If the busybodies have a problem with your outward behaviour it's their issue -- no matter how much they may try to reflect it onto you.

Research the issue, deal with the coppers formally by filing a harassment complaint if need be, and suggest that they have a chat with your accusers -- and ask for the names and addresses of your accusers. Don't accept a "no" from the plods, run it up the chain of command until you receive a satisfactory answer that meets the letter of the law.

As far as direct interaction with the naysayers goes, sometimes that's best if it's possible. Nothing defuses a situation like a decent polite discussion. But, if it's not, don't shirk from fighting back in any manner possible, including potential lawsuits for harassment.

Of course, if it's gotten that bad, it might simply be best to move.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
User avatar
crfriend
Master Barista
 
Posts: 9533
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
Location: New England (U.S.)

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby hairy » Sat Jul 14, 2018 11:22 pm

I'm not frightened of any neighbours I just don't want them gossiping about me. I think another concern I have is that I don't want the little kids in my road knowing. We all know what little cheeky kids can be like and they would start trying to look in my garden at me. EveryTHING taken into account and the fact that both me and wife have worries about our health at moment I've decided not to push it too much, we can do without any problems. If it happens then it happens. My wife is all for me being me and skirted, but I like to keep alow profile, after all its me they would talk about and they do that enough as it i. , I can't say what might be wrong with my wife but hospital consultant thinks I have early Parkinson's so really want to enjoy life while I can. I just hope consultant is wronge, but early days yet, I'm more worried about wife than myself.
User avatar
hairy
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 273
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2015 2:22 pm
Location: UK

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby moonshadow » Sun Jul 15, 2018 2:29 am

You made a comment about your elderly father finding out...

You know, I have to admit, I know I talk a mean talk about "just getting out there", and yet, it's easy for me to say that being hundreds of miles away from my nearest family. Unless I'm just outright involved in something "newsworthy" while out in a skirt, it's very unlikely that any local gossip will reach my father, at a 4 hour drive away, and considering he has never even been this far from his home.

I have no advice, because in all honesty I feel the same way, I'm just far from family and old friends. About a month ago when I was going around skirted in my hometown where I have loads of family members, and hundreds, if not thousands of people who "know each other" in the community, I have to admit, I did wear a skirt, but I had eyes in the back of my head, and I wore my black Macabi and a regular tee-shirt, NOTHING FEMME... not on that day! It's easy for a cell phone shot of a man in a skirt to make its way around the facebook circle and land on my aunts wall, or my cousins, etc... "hey... I know that guy!"

My neighbors in Lebanon seem cool with me. One even told me bluntly that "he doesn't have an issue with it", they all treat me like I wasn't wearing anything unusual. But then again, they've only known me as a guy who wears skirts.

I would imagine that some of us who live around old friends and family may have a problem going out skirted, and I can't honestly say I could do much better. Look at me, I still trouser up when visiting mom and dad.
"We all have the tendency to make simple things difficult, but the spirit that abides within us achieves its own ends by making all difficult things simple."
-Manly Palmer Hall
User avatar
moonshadow
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 3432
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:58 am
Location: Lebanon, Virginia

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby Sinned » Sun Jul 15, 2018 7:13 am

hairy, from what you write I get that you ARE frightened of your neighbours! The main thing that I get is that you are too concerned about what may or may not happen or be said and are like the timid little mouse. Sorry if I seem blunt and I don't wish to offend but that's how I see it. fear is the main thing that comes from your prose. If what you say is right then they will gossip about you whatever you do or say so I am still of the opinion of direct confrontation and a calm, meaningful discussion with them. At the very least it will show that you are not frightened of them and what they may say. As for little kids, well, kids can be cruel but they can be very accepting as well and I think that again you are putting to much emphasis on them and using them as an excuse not to wear a skirt out. I hope upon hope that your potential diagnosis of Parkinson's is wrong but either way stop worrying and enjoy what life you have left in front of you. You can't dictate the actions of others so stop being too concerned about what you can't control. Or as Carl said, it may be the time to move as your environment has become too toxic for both you and YOH.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
User avatar
Sinned
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 3139
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2012 5:28 pm
Location: York, England

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby hairy » Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:56 am

moonshadow, I don't want my 90 year old father finding out probably because He would likely remove me from his will. He used to live 5 minutes away but even now he's only 5 miles and its difficult for him to visit me now. Luckily I don't have any family in my town now.
Sinned, I'm not frightened of my neighbours but worried about what I might do if anyone starts talkng about me, I have a bit of a record for getting my own back and inclined to step outside of the law, at my age I don't want to get in more trouble with the law like I have in the past, Just imagine local
news headlines, Man in skirt arrested after assault
I'll NEVER have a discussion with some in my road as that has always led me into trouble. Certainly won't be moving unless I win lottery and buy a manion in the middle of no where. Anyway I only brought this house 2 months ago.
I don't want the kids peeking in my hedge trying to see me, I remember what I got up to when I their age, and as I sunbath as a naturist it would open up a very big can of worms
User avatar
hairy
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 273
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2015 2:22 pm
Location: UK

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby oldsalt1 » Sun Jul 15, 2018 12:54 pm

Do what makes you feel good move at the pace that is ok for yourself. and don't worry about your neighbors , They don't pay your mortgage I can understand your concern. You are always going to have neighbors that if you were superman they would gossip about your cape.

Some how they will eventually find out. Don't push the issue and try not to worry about
User avatar
oldsalt1
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 1645
Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 8:25 pm
Location: Long Island, New York

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby JoePublic » Sun Jul 15, 2018 3:03 pm

hairy wrote:moonshadow, I don't want my 90 year old father finding out probably because He would likely remove me from his will. He used to live 5 minutes away but even now he's only 5 miles and its difficult for him to visit me now. Luckily I don't have any family in my town now.
Sinned, I'm not frightened of my neighbours but worried about what I might do if anyone starts talkng about me, I have a bit of a record for getting my own back and inclined to step outside of the law, at my age I don't want to get in more trouble with the law like I have in the past, Just imagine local
news headlines, Man in skirt arrested after assault
I'll NEVER have a discussion with some in my road as that has always led me into trouble. Certainly won't be moving unless I win lottery and buy a manion in the middle of no where. Anyway I only brought this house 2 months ago.
I don't want the kids peeking in my hedge trying to see me, I remember what I got up to when I their age, and as I sunbath as a naturist it would open up a very big can of worms

I think the naturism may be more of an issue with kids than whatever you wear. After they've seen you skirted once they will lose interest. It is the creeping about at night that may cause issues with police... Kids may be more wrapped up in YouTube, games etc than looking out for a man in a skirt. You might do well to buy a denim skirt and just get out there. Try not to take law into your into your own hands though :shock:
JoePublic
Active Member
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Apr 05, 2017 9:21 pm

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby Caultron » Mon Jul 16, 2018 4:58 am

hairy wrote:I'm STILL having problems going just outside my house while skirted...

Well then, make this a long-term goal rather than short-term.

As you build confidence elsewhere, it'll eventually spill over to getting in your car, fetching the mail or the newspaper, or putting out the trash.
Last edited by Caultron on Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

caultron
User avatar
Caultron
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 3995
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:12 am
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby Happy-N-Skirts » Mon Jul 16, 2018 6:41 am

Try wearing a stealthy skirt such as above the knee denim, khaki, or camo, or some other subdued color. You will go very un noticed. I have been to stores, gas stations, Walmart, etc. wearing a skirt and no one noticed or cared. I also suggest going to a nature preserve or nature trail wearing a skirt and if anyone says anything, just say it allows unlimited stride and ventilation. If any of your neighbors say anything, just say you are an eccentric old man and you have a million dollars in the bank and now you can wear anything you want because you make the rules now. Then laugh. I am outside wearing skirts all the time, walking to the mail box, loading things in or out of my car, washing the windshield, etc. The people next door and the ones across the street hate each other and are always calling the cops on each other, getting restraining orders, going to court, etc. Each party thinks we are on the other's side. At least they aren't bothering me other than being unfriendly. Their squabbles are about loud music, parties, parking, etc. They do irritating things to each other while their lawyers are laughing about it.
Happy-N-Skirts
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 202
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2016 5:39 pm

Next

Return to Skirts and Kilts for Men

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 2 guests