- Member Extraordinaire
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I base that on my experience at the grand opening of the yoga studio where a friend of mine works. At one point I sat down on a bench to enjoy my beer and some snack food when a fellow sits down and starts chatting. The idea of these things is to mingle, so I chatted with him. All of a sudden I had this clear thought, "Is this guy trying to pick me up because he doesn't get that I'm hetero?" I didn't change the subject, I most certainly didn't address my concern directly, but somehow just having that thought changed something in my tone of voice, speech pattern or something that he heard loud and clear that he was barking up the wrong tree! He was gone in a flash!
I wasn't offended because I figured it was a harmless and understandable misunderstanding.
I share all this so that if any of you find yourself in a similar situation, you'll know it's nothing to get upset about. As I said, it's an understandable misunderstanding that's very easy to correct without any negative consequences.
Social norms aren't changed by Congress or Parliament; they're changed by a sufficient number of people ignoring the existing ones and publicly practicing new ones.
- Master Barista
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Indeed, and if it does happen it's quite easy to politely rebuff. There's no point whatsoever in getting offended by it, or even bothered by it.Pdxfashionpioneer wrote:Trust me Darryl, if some guy started to hit on you, you'd know!
In my case, that was not the situation and it was quite obviously an honest attempt to gather some intelligence regarding my choice, and my usual commentary of "Because I like the style"., "I'm comfortable wearing this.", and "There's no subtext." clinched the deal and that was that.
If worse comes to worst, in this oh-so-modern world you can use the defence of, "I'm married and faithful." argument which should put off most attempts and you don't have to reveal a thing.
For me the line is really about my preferences in fashion and not a defined line. But I have some limitations that I adhere to because they work for me.
1. I try to avoid overtly feminine skirts because my purpose is, in part, to make skirts acceptable to any men.
2. I avoid anything shorter than 55cm because it just doesn't work for me and because I am small it leans feminine very quickly if shorter.
3. I avoid feminine colors for same reasons as above. And I don't like much color in my fashion to start with.
4. I avoid very form fitting because I am not comfortable in tight skirts. Body conscious skirts are common with cross dressers in Japan so they are already covering that ground anyway.
5. I avoid shiny fabrics because I just don't like them.
So what is ok for me?
1. Kilts. Standard length (55 to 60cm and longer O'neil of Dublin 70-80cm which look great dressed up with a vintage vest and jacket.
2. I like pleated skirts very much. I have fashion and designer kilts and pleated skirts that have sharp knife cut pleats in black and grey. They dress up for an alternative and designer look that goes great with my other men's vests and jackets.
3. Simple straight skirts.
4. Skirt Pants
5. Long straight skirts, not too fitted. These can make a very artsy or even ethnic look.
So these are my parameters. They are just my personal preference.