Comfort zone - I spent every year since graduation and until the past 5 years or so nowhere near a comfort zone. Working in IT Development and Support as Carl and a few others will know means that everything you do is new and you are applying technology and software that didn't exist even two years prior. And support is more than stressful. The system goes down and it's a race against the machines, software, the team's experience, knowledge and logic to figure out what's gone wrong, how to fix it and to put in place the patch and restore the database and system. Especially when the employer is a 24x7 bank and people's money and deadlines are on the line. Pressure! That's pressure.
You mention zen and this brought to mind a book I read recently called "The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff. A lot of wisdom in such a short book written in a child-like style. I had to look up the difference between Tao and Zen  and this will prompt me to a bit more study.
As for only considering what you can change, I am reminded of The Serenity Prayer. "Lord grant me the serenity to accept those things I cannot change, the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
 Tao is a religion and philosophy whilst Zen is a Buddhist method to attain enlightenment.
I'm really impressed your wife was open to the arguments of equality in fashion after a very staunch objection. That's a great conversion. Thanks for leading by example. Best wishes!jamodu wrote: .... When I suggested wearing her Tights she freaked out big time. We didn't speak of it again for many, many years.
.... I confessed to my Wife on wearing her Skirt. I complained about the double-standards on Women being able to wear trousers/pants, and got her to read Vernon Coleman's website on why Men wear Women's clothes. She accepted the arguments outlined there.....
I whole heartily agree!
Merry Christmas Everyone!
and has a " sharper " outlook when on the street.....
I have never been into drugs but it is strange how wearing these garments changes ones survival skills...
Recently I have had many meetings so I have not regularly worn skirts.....If I do not have to explain why I am wearing a skirt
I feel I can get a one to one level conversation with a man who is normally and traditionally dressed in trousers.
If wearing a skirt is brought into a complicated discussion it can be used to throw a train of thought...
I do feel that the idea of wearing a skirt is an ego trip , but when I get through that phase in a day, I feel comfortable in my skirt
and have a relaxed and successful day...
A complicated bit of male / female psycology I recently had was a lady who asked me why I was wearing trousers ....the following day
I was wearing trousers again and asked her if she was going to give me a dressing down for not wearing a skirt.....
" No " she replied "It is just laugh....." Some of these ladies can look straight faced and have a go at the male . They then hide with
their female working team and all laugh at the way they just " Take the piss " out of a male collegue....
There again sometimes work becomes so stressfull that anything is good for a laugh.....
The male may enjoy the joke , but he may become unnerved if he is persistently the butt of female humour....
There are no goal posts...the man in skirt learns to live on his whits....Perhaps this is what gives him his "High "
What can really hurt folks is when they ask ....." Are you taking the mikey out of me ? " and the response is given
" No, I am not insulting you . ....You are not worth insulting..." .......
Try and get street wise and work out what is going on when you are wearing girls clothes...............................
The tounge is deadlier than the sword.....................
- Distinguished Member
- Posts: 106
- Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 4:00 am
- Location: Perth, Australia
Very true! I ran a school bus service for a while, always skirted. One day, before I moved out of the area, my path crossed that of one of the mothers. Skirts were inappropriate for what I was doing so I was in trousers. She commented that she didn't recognise me at first because I wasn't wearing a skirt.Caultron wrote:For sure, once someone knows you as, "that guy who always shows up in a skirt," they'll see you wearing pants as unusual.
There you are. Enjoy!skirts4me wrote:Very true! I ran a school bus service for a while, always skirted. One day, before I moved out of the area, my path crossed that of one of the mothers. Skirts were inappropriate for what I was doing so I was in trousers. She commented that she didn't recognise me at first because I wasn't wearing a skirt.
That is a very interesting point.....skirts4me wrote:Very true! I ran a school bus service for a while, always skirted. One day, before I moved out of the area, my path crossed that of one of the mothers. Skirts were inappropriate for what I was doing so I was in trousers. She commented that she didn't recognise me at first because I wasn't wearing a skirt.Caultron wrote:For sure, once someone knows you as, "that guy who always shows up in a skirt," they'll see you wearing pants as unusual.
I have to use my brain to work out what the circumstances are where a piece of equipment may fail and I may die..........
Perhaps I overthink the problems of skirt wearing and the risk involved....
This is a true story and a matter of survival of the fittest....I was stopped in a country lane waiting to go to a funeral ;
or " Festival of Life " ......as we call it. There is a simple way to change from a sarong into a pair of formal trousers....
A long haired drug crazed lunatic parked his four track in the middle of the road and blocked me in. ... He claimed I was parked
on his fathers land ...Then he saw my sarong and went Apes* * *.....This was my first encounter with this clown.
He told me he had two young daughters and did not want the likes of me on his patch... His fourtrack had blocked me in.....
Please gentlemen , how was I to survive this encounter ?
Don't we all, at least when starting out?weeladdie18 wrote:...Perhaps I overthink the problems of skirt wearing and the risk involved...
It appears you have.weeladdie18 wrote:...Please gentlemen , how was I to survive this encounter ?
But in a less ephemeral sense, just tell the whacko, "I'm sorry but I need to be somewhere. Have a nice day," and then amble away.
Perhaps it something about the difference between being a Macho Warrior , or just a " Big Girl ".....Without taking this statementweeladdie18 wrote:Caultron wrote:In my case, at least, wearing a skirt in public is much more daring than wearing a kilt. I wore only utility kilts in public for about two years before I dared venture forth in a skirt. So how do you find wearing a kilt as gutsier than wearing a skirt?Happy-N-Skirts wrote:...I wear my "masculine" skirts in public quite a bit and am rarely noticed...Over the years I have met a few men wearing kilts and wished I had their guts and envied them...I wish it would be socially acceptable for men and boys to wear skirts.
I think it's already socially acceptable for men and boys to wear skirts in public. The fact that you're only rarely noticed attests to that. But it would be less edgy if more men and boys did it.
too personally , or too literally, ..............Is the " Man in a Skirt " , or Kilt , trying to be a warrior in his dashing uniform ,
or is he searching for the deeper experience required by the female of the species in her high level of concentration and planning
to care for her husband and her children and the family home ?
Many say they become calmer and reflect more on their life style when the male spends his time as a " Man In a Skirt ".
We turn to the alleged simple life of the female free life of the Monks in the Monastary.; A life of prayer and commune life style
in their simple robes....the communial growing of crops...........
My friends and myself have had recent problems with sewerage drains , failure of diesel injectors ,Lights , central heating computers.
changing and upgrading imperial assemblies with metric assemblies......Life could be simpler.
There was an interesting photo in the Times Newspaper Saturday 29 December......The Fishermen of Molacca ? in Yemmen were
banned from going to sea as they were fishing in the area of an international port in the local international conflict.
They were shown in a photo with a style of fishing net , which is common all over the world , .......
In the photo they were shown wearing their yellow oilskin jackets with their traditional calf length sarong or possibly tunic......
This does reflect on the classical biblical style of male attire.....Recently I saw a symbol of the Male Angel ? ....all part of the
Schoolboys costume in the nativity play.......This popular style of male attire does push us towards the " Men in Skirts "
Whose style of Middle Eastern Dress Is brought to our attention at this time of year.
- Member Extraordinaire
- Posts: 2713
- Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2013 8:12 pm
- Location: southeast NC coast
- Member Extraordinaire
- Posts: 2252
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 8:25 pm
- Location: Long Island, New York
But what made it start in the first place? I have tried to really recall, what else might have played a role, even if for years practically forgotten. Could I after all somehow have been predisposed to wearing skirts?
There are indicators and I apologize for writing that much.
1. Since my early childhood I never felt comfortable with something covering my knees. I so much preferred wearing shorts.
2. I have a faint memory of, when about seven or eight, sometimes on hot summer days envying the girls their dresses and skirts. Not that I ever wanted to be a girl. But a skirt or dress must be even more comfortable to wear than shorts, I would think. A boy in skirts and dresses, if possible. But that it was not.
3. When still 12 I have seen a boy dressed as a girl from top to toe. I met him on a camp ground in Germany. He was 13 and his name was Thomas. He, his parents and his two years younger brother, Peter had their tent next to ours. He had developed into a bully, his parents said, and therefore they had decided that he must go dressed as a girl in chool summer holidays. When I saw him he had three weeks experience behind him and four weeks more to go. At that time children were pretty lawless. As long as their parents didn’t kill them or caused physical permanent ill-effects on them they had practically free reign. His parents were very nice people, however, and for the next two days the two families made excursions together, Thomas of course in girl’s clothes. It made me think of how it should feel like must I, like him, every morning, day after day, week after week dress in girl’s clothes. How scaring, embarrassing and humiliating, but somehow also exiting.
When having said good-bye to them and we were sitting in the car my mother, without turning her head said that maybe it after all wasn’t a bad idea to have me dress as a girl, if I didn’t behave. From the backseat I couldn’t see, if she was serious or not. 90% of me dreaded by the very thought, but curiously 10% might have liked it.
A couple of times my parents actually threatened me. “Should you like to be seven weeks in girl’s clothes next summer like Thomas? Otherwise you better behave.” Or “Shall we go out and buy you a dress right now, so you can start wearing it today, shall we?”
But it never came real. What had happened, had I pushed things a little? Only I didn’t dare. The minority of me told me I was a coward, and that the majority was throwing away the only possible chance in life to be able to actually wear a dress or a skirt, even if punishment. I had no sisters.
4. As a teenager I one day saw two or three Scottish scouts in kilts crossing a street. I wondered how it should feel like. Had I just been Scottish?
5. On a business trip to London in the late seventies with my boss and two colleagues, one of them asked my boss if he knew whether it should be possible to buy a kilt in London. The reason was that his wife had forbidden him to wear shorts. As kind of revenge he planned to start wearing kilts, he said. My boss answered that it might be possible, but that he thought it was a bad idea. Too unusual. There it stopped. I never asked him if in fact he had bought that kilt or not. Maybe he was a pioneer? He was in his early sixties and a couple of years later he retired. I again wondered how it should feel like, but no. Too unusual. And no Scottish roots.
6. I never liked to just follow mainstream. Even as an adult I would for years in my spare-time wear shorts whenever possible, meaning April through October, and the shorts always being shorter than average, like some Levi Strauss denim shorts I would wear during most of the eighties. They were men’s shorts but shorter than most.
The eighties, short Levi Strauss denim shorts.
2014 Levi Strauss shorts still fitting.
Made for women was no big problem, however. I remember some blue velvet women’s hot pants. My wife had bought them for me to wear and despite they closed to the “wrong” side, had no side pockets, were very short, and extremely tight I liked them very much.
Also I had orange velvet jeans and pink shirts.
1980 Blue velvet hot pants and white knee socks. Pretty girly, in fact, but I would wear them through most of the century.
But still a man couldn’t possible wear a skirt or a dress. Neither could he wear a kilt, without being a Scotsman, so I forgot about it - until I tried on that kilt in Edinburgh almost 20 years later and, having the following year got access to the new internet, found out that I could. That men did it, wore kilts and skirts. I started out with a kilt, which I would only wear when far from home, however.
About two years later, in 2000 during our summer holidays, I, after having been inspired by the messages in the forums, bought me three short skirts at a time and started wearing them – far from home and inside home, but as time went on coming closer and closer to my own environment.
Summer holidays 2000 Grey wrap mini-skirt.
Summer holidays 2000 Olive denim mini-skirt.
Summer holidays 2000 Black wrap mini-skirt.
After some years mainly in skirts I went back to the kilt. Comfort is not just something physical, it is also about how you feel. And I do feel more comfortable in a kilt, even if being per se less comfortable than a mini-skirt.
Since 2005 I will practically every day when out and about wear a kilt, which my wife accepts. Sometimes utility kilts and from time to time you can also see me in a regular skirt which my wife finds less appropriate, however.
June 2018 Traditional kilt, Holyrood tartan.
November 2018 Olive Amerikilt worn with tights.
September 2018 Black skirt
Nevertheless, depending from where I start counting, it took me between 41 and 48 years to fulfill a secret dream of wearing skirted garments. Just because I was a man and not Scottish.
There ARE viable alternatives to trousers.