A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.

Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby webboy42 » Tue Feb 20, 2018 4:17 am

Caultron wrote:
webboy42 wrote:...A polo shirt was the top I chose for my own first outing on the Sunday just gone. I don't know why, but for some reason, even before reading the guide, I just felt like when I went out in a skirt (especially the first time) I had to be wearing a polo shirt rather than a plain T-shirt.

For me it depends on the skirt, but don't let it give you an anxiety attack.

I think for me the polo shirt is like a safety blanket while I'm still feeling nervous. As my confidence grows, I will probably feel comfortable in any shirt I feel comfortable wearing with shorts.
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Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby Grok » Tue Feb 20, 2018 4:53 pm

Daryl wrote:One learns to sit with knees together eventually, driven by circumstances, but starting out with skirts that permit sitting with legs wide is much easier. Real kilts aren't very good for that, but lungi, thobe, Utilikilts, and really any fullsome skirt about knee length or longer will work. Newbies needn't be burdened with trying to learn everything right away. Also, knees together is something many men have never done so it's actually physically difficult at first. It took me two years riding transit before I was doing it effortlessly. Now I can sit with my knees together all day but at first even a few minutes was tiring on my muscles.

As I recall, Daryl, in your slideshow you appeared in a longer skirt. In your experience, could below-the-knee lengths be practical for a man?
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Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby Caultron » Wed Feb 21, 2018 3:41 am

webboy42 wrote:...I think for me the polo shirt is like a safety blanket while I'm still feeling nervous. As my confidence grows, I will probably feel comfortable in any shirt I feel comfortable wearing with shorts.

For sure, whatever gives you confidence now is what you ought to wear now.

Confidence is very, very important. If you can be confident and friendly, people will react to you positively no matter what you're wearing.

If you cower and shirk and act like a creep, they'll think you're a creep, again no matter what you're wearing.

As time passes you may start to find the polo shirts becoming mundane, and if that happens, you can always find something more exciting. But by all means go at your own speed.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

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Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby Daryl » Wed Feb 21, 2018 9:31 am

Grok wrote:
Daryl wrote:One learns to sit with knees together eventually, driven by circumstances, but starting out with skirts that permit sitting with legs wide is much easier. Real kilts aren't very good for that, but lungi, thobe, Utilikilts, and really any fullsome skirt about knee length or longer will work. Newbies needn't be burdened with trying to learn everything right away. Also, knees together is something many men have never done so it's actually physically difficult at first. It took me two years riding transit before I was doing it effortlessly. Now I can sit with my knees together all day but at first even a few minutes was tiring on my muscles.

As I recall, Daryl, in your slideshow you appeared in a longer skirt. In your experience, could below-the-knee lengths be practical for a man?


Very practical. I recall many men in lungi when in Varanasi -- just everyday wear there. Even the guy who rowed our boat on the Ganges wore one, and his legs splayed wide to let him row. But ultimately I think knee-length-ish skirts have sort-of won the contest for both men and women for a reason, or rather probably several reasons, so guys should definitely try to accomodate them eventually too. It's all experience and most importantly confidence-building. Long skirts at least allow one to get used to wearing a skirt in public with no worries about exposure...one step at a time and pretty soon you're there...
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Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby Grok » Wed Feb 21, 2018 4:25 pm

Daryl wrote:I think knee-length-ish skirts have sort-of won the contest for both men and women for a reason, or rather probably several reasons, so guys should definitely try to accomodate them eventually too.
I started with kilting; I now have a Macabi knee length.

When I was a boy I thought above the knee looked good (certainly on girls!), but at this point I would probably worry too much about exposure to wear a skirt so short.
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Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby Daryl » Wed Feb 21, 2018 6:38 pm

Grok wrote:
Daryl wrote:I think knee-length-ish skirts have sort-of won the contest for both men and women for a reason, or rather probably several reasons, so guys should definitely try to accomodate them eventually too.

I started with kilting; I now have a Macabi knee length.

When I was a boy I thought above the knee looked good (certainly on girls!), but at this point I would probably worry too much about exposure to wear a skirt so short.


I started with kilting too, mostly because it leveraged a cultural familiarity so was less of a shock on account of sexed norms. I rapidly discovered that it felt more like I was masquerading as something I wasn't claiming (my Scottish heritage exists but is very thin), even in Utilikilts. Once I started to allow a wider range into my thinking, my hemlines dropped. Kilts don't look "right" if they are too long, so other styles came to the fore for me, and I feel no urge at all to get hems above my knee.

As a boy I also found miniskirts on girls appealing but was always aware that it was the sexual allure factor not mere aesthetic appreciation. Of course, I'd tell the girls they looked "good", not that I liked how close they were to giving me the full tour, but I always figured they knew exactly what they were doing and we just spoke around it in euphemisms because that's the polite thing to do.
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Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby VoxClamantis » Sun Mar 11, 2018 7:05 pm

Yikes, guys. Apparently the cafe didn't notify me of so many latent posts. I'm going to have to go back and read the thread and comment as appropriate.
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Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby VoxClamantis » Sun Mar 11, 2018 8:26 pm

A lot of great points made and as an academic, I definitely appreciate the dialogued exchange of ideas. This sort of banter has certainly given opened my eyes to ways that I could refine my prose to make my points more transparent.

Indeed, a huge emphasis was placed on minimizing the noob's anxiety. I too have come to wear things that are more gender fluid but having accustomed and acclimated myself to wearing skirts I am able to project my persona in how I carry myself, but that is impossible to do if one is beset by anxiety. That's why I recommended polos and oxfords, but certainly as time progresses, one develops confidence in Tees as well. I made eschewing denim part of my practical advice because while denim jeans are pretty much the same (yes, even in wide leg and skinny jean), no two denim skirts are created equal and a noob is not going to understand that. So while it might be a natural go-to because of a man's experience with jeans, it's chicken and too easy to mess up a denim skirt. Moreover, grabbing a denim skirt that is wrong for his body or wrong for his image and then catching a glimpse of his awkwardness in a mirror is likely to elevate the noob's anxiety. Further still, getting a compliment on a smart ensemble is likely to do much more for the noob's confidence than anything else. Denim is slouchy. Denim isn't professional. That's where straight or a-line khakis and earth tones come in. Isn't it better for the noob to look smartly put together drawing compliments than to be unremarkable in something that's just "easy"? I have *some* denim, but I also know that the first two denims that I bought in my early days were all kinds of wrong. Likewise, until one graduates from noob to seasoned, going too short will be a disaster. Think about young girls learning to put on makeup. It takes time and experimentation to figure out how not to look garish (and some never get it). But some basic instruction and tips give the young ladies a leg up and the more they practice they more confidence they gain. Whether word ever reaches her or not, no girl wants to imagine that others are laughing behind her back. Same deal with denim and length. Those are learned styles. But these are nuances that I should absolutely endeavor to work into the blog post. So thank you all for helping me realize and articulate my intent.

Now to see if I can remember the other points made..... I think there was one about "(s)he" versus "they" and "one." Yes, I am a stickler for grammatical correctness and I despise the singular use of "they," but I chose "(s)he" for a reason to draw attention to the point that men and women should regard themselves as equals, not just anonymous parties. If it's wrong to slut-shame a female for dressing how she pleases, it's wrong to emasculate a male for dressing how he pleases. I think there was also something about my classification of anything above the knee as "mini." I read that definition somewhere, but I didn't know I wasn't going to need to cite the source. Anyhow, way, way back in the day...like the era of poodle skirts...no skirt was above the knee and that's how "miniskirt" came into usage as designating anything above the knee. Yeah, it's kind of dated, but historically accurate. The graphic, though, was very illustrative and would be helpful to a lot of men.
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Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby moonshadow » Sun Mar 11, 2018 9:05 pm

Well said V.C., and if I may say so, I'm glad you're becoming one of the regulars. I've enjoyed your contributions to the site!

We may differ personally on how we (as in, you and I) go out in public, but your advice for a "noob" is sound and certainly wouldn't steer one down the wrong path. I've worn some pretty femme stuff, and will continue to do so, but no, I wouldn't recommend it for a first timer. One must be reasonably accustomed to "holding his head up" when wearing flamboyant stuff.

Daryl wrote:I started with kilting too, mostly because it leveraged a cultural familiarity so was less of a shock on account of sexed norms. I rapidly discovered that it felt more like I was masquerading as something I wasn't claiming (my Scottish heritage exists but is very thin), even in Utilikilts. Once I started to allow a wider range into my thinking, my hemlines dropped. Kilts don't look "right" if they are too long, so other styles came to the fore for me, and I feel no urge at all to get hems above my knee.


I've never worn a kilt, ever. And I probably won't. I have no issue with others who do, it's just not my style. To my eye, I like the way I look with my current wardrobe. To me, wearing a kilt would be like me being someone I'm not.
Last edited by crfriend on Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Fixed attribution -- CRF
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Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby Sinned » Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:21 am

Sorry VC, I still disagree about the denim skirt issue. Denim skirts in whatever invocation or style are probably easier to wear than other skirts. Many times I have tried several skirts on ( I have over 100 so my choice is wide ) to go with a particular top before deciding on the one to wear but with a denim skirt ( as with denim jeans ) any of my denim skirts would do. I think we have to agree to disagree on this so I won't labour the point any more.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
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Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby crfriend » Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:26 am

VoxClamantis wrote:Yikes, guys. Apparently the cafe didn't notify me of so many latent posts. I'm going to have to go back and read the thread and comment as appropriate.

That's a common issue with Internet fora -- they require that one do a bit of reading before jumping to conclusions.

We've got quite the mix of characters here, and as in any situation it's reasonable to assume that one is not the most intelligent, the most credentialled, the largest, fastest, or strongest one in the pack. That's one of the sublime joys of this place. Moreover, the Skirt Cafe community spans the globe -- an empire where the sun never sets, as it were.

Personally, I appreciated the admonition to eschew denim at the outset, but I am an outlier in that opinion. I am also an outlier in preferred lengths and general styles. But that's just me. I also don't let it colour my administrative nor moderation behaviour, for to do so would cheapen the place.

There are true gems of wisdom to be found here; one just needs to look carefully -- not at all unlike in the physical world. And that's the way it should be. Nothing comes easily (save the "breeze between the knees" that only guys who wear skirts and kilts know about).
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
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Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby VoxClamantis » Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:50 am

crfriend wrote:Nothing comes easily (save the "breeze between the knees" that only guys who wear skirts and kilts know about).


LOVE THE LIMERICK.
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Re: A Guy's Guide to Getting Skirted

Postby webboy42 » Mon Mar 12, 2018 2:50 am

I think the value of the denim option might depend greatly on prior experience. For someone who has never worn denim jeans in their life (like myself), denim might not be the best option for a first skirt. For someone who has frequently worn denim jeans in the past, a denim skirt might be an excellent option, if not the perfect option.
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