parents

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.
Kilty
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 956
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 7:47 pm

Re: parents

Post by Kilty »

Love the look eightofnine! It will be warmer this weekend too. Invest in some tights too! Dark ones prevent and accidental knicker flashes whikst cycling :oops: :wink:
eightofnine
Active Member
Posts: 91
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2017 5:48 pm
Location: liverpool

Re: parents

Post by eightofnine »

Things just got worse ,we were going to see a movie so I decided to wear a skirt . Mum took one look at me told me to change I said no so she said she didn't want to go out with me wearing a skirt.So I said that I wasn't going .When they got home mum came and had a talk with me . She said that people would notice e and talk and point and laugh they wouldn't understand . I told her I'd been out before and people don't notice .So she said that I was blind and that wearing a skirt could have consiquwnces for the family .
Kilty
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 956
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 7:47 pm

Re: parents

Post by Kilty »

Sorry to hear this, mate... sounds like an empty threat to keep you in your lane. I liked your very first picture
P1070696.jpg
Which is a decent length skirt, I always go for knee length or just below the knee. You could also accessorize a bit with some tights and boots, like Feeling Fashion has with his picture
SC7.jpg
and I think looks smart. Saves tanning your legs and for me personally helps with modesty. I own a nice crimson pencil from Jigsaw that I wear with tan tights and colour blocked it with a red top
red-blue.jpg
but that's the boldest I have gone.

I guess your mum is worried about any teasing or worse, but you will find as the cliche goes, denim skirts are invisible :lol: Anyone who asks, just say it feels more comfortable than jeans :wink:
User avatar
Caultron
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 4122
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:12 am
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Re: parents

Post by Caultron »

eightofnine wrote:Things just got worse ,we were going to see a movie so I decided to wear a skirt . Mum took one look at me told me to change I said no so she said she didn't want to go out with me wearing a skirt.So I said that I wasn't going .When they got home mum came and had a talk with me . She said that people would notice e and talk and point and laugh they wouldn't understand . I told her I'd been out before and people don't notice .So she said that I was blind and that wearing a skirt could have consiquwnces for the family .
For five years now I've been wearing skirts and utility kilts almost full time. My wife grudgingly tolerates it anytime/anywhere except when we're out together. On those occasions she demands something two-legged. Skinny jeans, jeggings, and yoga pants are all OK, but nothing single-leghole. So I get to be skirts 98-99% of the time. Not perfect but not bad either.

So if you can't negotiate tolerance for wearing skirts all the time, keep up a gentle (non-confrontational) pressure, don't give up easily, see what you can negotiate, and then work from there.

And never, never ask permission. That cues the opponent that you're willing to concede. Instead, state your position and defend it.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

caultron
User avatar
hairy
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 277
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2015 2:22 pm
Location: UK

Re: parents

Post by hairy »

I think the first pic shows skirt a bit too short as I already said, but the second pic looks fine and that one is about the length I often wear. Your mother is more concerned about family issues rather than your happiness. You can say let people point and laugh becouse that wont bother you, which so e fools will, but your mum is more concerned about the family. Maybe you can take it but for some reason your parents cant copre with it. How about getting something a little longer for being seen out when your with parents.
Im old but for some daft reason I dont feel able to let my 90year old father know about ANY of my skirts, perhaps I just dont want to be cut out of his will.
eightofnine
Active Member
Posts: 91
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2017 5:48 pm
Location: liverpool

Re: parents

Post by eightofnine »

hairy wrote:I think the first pic shows skirt a bit too short as I already said, but the second pic looks fine and that one is about the length I often wear. Your mother is more concerned about family issues rather than your happiness. You can say let people point and laugh becouse that wont bother you, which so e fools will, but your mum is more concerned about the family. Maybe you can take it but for some reason your parents cant copre with it. How about getting something a little longer for being seen out when your with parents.
Im old but for some daft reason I dont feel able to let my 90year old father know about ANY of my skirts, perhaps I just dont want to be cut out of his will.

I was wearing a knee length skirt at the time we were going to see a movie .It's not the length its the fact that its a skirt,she said to me I don't wear men's clothes .She seams to think that bad things are going to happen she mentioned that one of the neighbors had their windows bricked in because their son was a pedophile .So she must think that will happen to us .I told her that i had been out many times and people don't notice or they don't care. She said that i was blind that her and friend would notice and talk about it .
webboy42
Active Member
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Jul 18, 2017 1:19 am
Location: Australia

Re: parents

Post by webboy42 »

eightofnine wrote:... She seams to think that bad things are going to happen she mentioned that one of the neighbors had their windows bricked in because their son was a pedophile. So she must think that will happen to us.
There's a world of difference between a skirt wearing man and a pedophile, and you may want to calmly point that out if you didn't already. Unless you start wearing the same robe as worn by catholic preasts, no one is likely to think you're a pedophile while wearing a skirt or dress.
eightofnine wrote:I told her that i had been out many times and people don't notice or they don't care. She said that i was blind that her and friend would notice and talk about it .
Talking isn't a bad thing. If that's the worst that happens, she should be grateful. Have you considered compromising with a kilt? You could wear a kilt out with your mum and your other skirts when you're not with her.
Kilty
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 956
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 7:47 pm

Re: parents

Post by Kilty »

I can understand her fears, she probably wants the best for you and doesn't want any harm to come to you, but in your 30s I'm sure you told her that her fears are unfounded. Watch how women casually dress and take some cues, I liked the Star Wars T shirt, but perhaps a pair of DMs and some tights would help the look? Be you, the world will adjust. :wink:

I doubt anyone will brick your windows for your sartorial choice. Why not just go shopping whilst skirted? I have bought some decent enough denim skirts from Asda, if any friends ask why the skirt, just say it is more comfortable than jeans and you like it :)
User avatar
crfriend
Master Barista
Posts: 14431
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
Location: New England (U.S.)
Contact:

Re: parents

Post by crfriend »

eightofnine wrote:I told her I'd been out before and people don't notice .So she said that I was blind and that wearing a skirt could have consiquwnces for the family .
This points up probably errant, and even perhaps borderline paranoid thinking.

I've been wearing skirts far more often than not for well over a decade now and have never had a lick of trouble from it -- although my locale is different from yours.

Sure, I get the occasional quizzical question of, "Why?", but I handily defuse that with an response of, "Don't worry about asking, it's not a problem -- in fact the question of, "Why?" is perhaps the most basic one of human existence. So, "Why?" Well, that's down to the fact that I find skirts much more comfortable than trousers and they also let me have a lot more fun with my wardrobe than would otherwise be the case. That's it." Sadly, they usually clam up after that, but I will occasionally persist and snap them out of it. Really, they were just curious, and the way the curious find satisfaction is frequently to ask -- and usually it takes the form of, "Why?" Why should we shut down this most basic desire for knowledge?

If your mother is seriously worried about "consequences for the family" then I'd be open and ask her why she thinks that way. It's not like unruly mobs bearing pitchforks and torches are going to descend upon your residence one night for the simple reason that a man was spotted wearing one tube instead of two. If it's purely a status thing, then it needs to be her cross to bear, not yours.

That, or get yourself a place to live where you don't need to deal with the matter.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
User avatar
moonshadow
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 6994
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:58 am
Location: Warm Beach, Washington
Contact:

Re: parents

Post by moonshadow »

eightofnine wrote:Things just got worse ,we were going to see a movie so I decided to wear a skirt . Mum took one look at me told me to change I said no so she said she didn't want to go out with me wearing a skirt.So I said that I wasn't going .When they got home mum came and had a talk with me . She said that people would notice e and talk and point and laugh they wouldn't understand . I told her I'd been out before and people don't notice .So she said that I was blind and that wearing a skirt could have consiquwnces for the family .
Parents:

Though it is widely known in this site that Jenn (my wife) and my daughter are highly accepting. This is not the case with my mother, who sounds a lot like yours. At the age of 37, and having lived on my own since 19, it's safe to say I'm my own man. Therefore my mother knows she can't stop me. The fact that there is about 115 miles between us now helps. We can discuss it mildly. However she will not tolerate it in her house, and she doesn't want me discussing it around others in the family. Back when I had an active facebook account she even refused to add me because she has others in her family and she was worried I'd post a picture of myself wearing a skirt.

Likewise, since I have refused to yield in my own house (that I pay for), she has basically avoided visiting all together. We get along okay via the telephone. We talk about once every two months for a few minutes. However I haven't seen her in almost two years now. It seems the skirt has completely came in between us. Some say, "why not just wear pants when she comes around", well, that logic works both ways. Why can't she just get over herself?

I look at it this way, I am the one suffering from prejudice here, thus I feel it's my prerogative to stay the course. It's complete bullsh!t, and a reminder of how ridiculous people can be over something so insignificant as a skirt. For God's sake... Oh well, I've been ditched by loved ones before, and those incidents were long before the skirts came along. Just like with Food City (my previous employer), I don't think it's so much the skirts that were the source problem, rather these people use the skirts as an excuse to not be a part of my life. F--k it... I'm done, I don't really care anymore. I've got my wife, my daughter, my cats... I'm good. Some people may disagree with this notion, but you know what, it's my life and I'm done kissing asses.

It really bugs me that I have to tolerate SO MUCH from my family. I have to tolerate my sisters shiftyness, her coming home drunk, smoking pot, always bouncing from place to place, I have to tolerate my mothers "holier than thou" constant preaching, I have to tolerate her now husband who I personally don't have a problem with, but seems to be hell bent on keeping mom all to himself, I have to tolerate dad's constant political rants, I have to tolerate, my grandmothers snide remarks about virtually everything "because she's a northerner and that's just how they are", I have to tolerate this also from my aunt on moms side, I have to tolerate, tolerate, tolerate, tolerate, tolerate, tolerate, tolerate, tolerate. All my life I always was EXACTLY the grand "average" of what everyone wanted me to be. I was the "Andrew" that make people feel comfortable. And the ONE DAY I decide I want to do something for myself, something that makes me happy... I'm ditched? NO! I'm done. I have asked for NOTHING. My mother raised me to the age of 11 when she ran off for a few years, then I lived with my father until I got out school at the age of 19. I worked from the age of 17 "on the books" and helped dad pay the bills. Prior to that I worked "off the books" on the landlords farm from about 14 to have money knocked off the rent to help dad while he was sick. I took care of him while when he lost his toes. I helped my grandma maintain her house, self taught how to fix electrical problems, roof leaks, patch holes in the ceiling, all during my teenage years. Never sassed off to any elders, never got involved in the party scene, drinking, gambling, hell I don't even smoke cigarettes, never knocked a girl up, went to church (back in the day), never go involved with drugs, no criminal record, not even a parking ticket.

And I lost everybody over a G-d damned skirt. Well kiss my ass then. :cussing:

Sorry... don't know where all that bubbled up from.... :?: Yes I too can get my "redneck" on once in a while...
It's not the length its the fact that its a skirt,she said to me I don't wear men's clothes
Maybe not, but I bet her mother did! Besides, the point is irrelevant! SHE IS NOT YOU. If she doesn't want to wear "mens" clothes that's her business. If you're of legal age what you do and wear is yours. Granted, she has domain over her own place of residence, but you always have the right to live somewhere else in such case.

I've seen it so many times on this site, and I myself have been guilty of it. We try to justify our skirt wearing by "men in history wearing skirts", or "women wearings pants", etc etc. That's all fine and good, but really, we don't need this type of reinforcement. Even if men never wore skirts in history and women still strictly wore only skirts, it doesn't matter. We still have the right to wear what we want, we require NO further justification!
She seams to think that bad things are going to happen she mentioned that one of the neighbors had their windows bricked in because their son was a pedophile .
"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." -Benjamin Franklin

If your neighborhood is that bad... all the more reason to move. I live in redneckville U.S.A. and I get some odd looks, snickers, and some obnoxious behavior once in a while, but I've never had my tires slashed, my house vandalized, or physically bothered in any way! Hell, I've traveled across Tennessee and into Ala-by-God-bama in a short brown skirt with purple top! Ate at a southern mom and pop BBQ joint, and walked around a few town squares. I lived to tell the tale! Nobody cares dude!

I believe you have a greater chance of being killed in a car crash than even the smallest incident while wearing a skirt!
-Andrea
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
User avatar
Sinned
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 5804
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2012 5:28 pm
Location: York, England

Re: parents

Post by Sinned »

Wow, where did that come from? Come on now Moon, now tell us how you really feel!!!! I must admit that I feel like ranting at MOH in such a fashion but diplomacy ( or is it cowardice? ) tells me to bit my tongue.

BTW, and just a teensy weensy little point on grammar - don't forget the possessive apostrophe. "I have to tolerate my sisters shiftyness," should be "I have to tolerate my sister's shiftyness,". You get the idea as you missed this several times in your rant. Just trying to be helpful.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
User avatar
crfriend
Master Barista
Posts: 14431
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
Location: New England (U.S.)
Contact:

Re: parents

Post by crfriend »

Well, that was a rant-an-a-half wasn't it. Sad reading, to be sure, and indicative of a lot of pent up hurt.

I can see the basis for it, though, and I suspect that it's down to men being expected to "put up and shut up" in the face of adversity. To be rocks, as it were. It doesn't matter how unfair the world is to men (for the world is inherently an unfair place), it matters not how much frustration a man may be experiencing at the moment, nor how much pain he may be in; he is expected to "man up and shut up". And what that tinderbox goes up, it can do so with the built-up pressure of a lifetime of silence and putting up with others and not being able to express emotions on his own. It's no wonder that rants happen. What's surprising is that it doesn't happen more often and with more violent results.

We're lucky when the result is "merely" a rant jotted down -- and especially so if the rant was cathartic for the writer. We're not so lucky when it results in suicide or violent acts towards others. And it's got precious little to do with skirts; the skirt may not even be the trigger that sets the thing in motion. Help for men is also difficult to find, and even when it is found it may wind up being bad advice, or, worse, instruction to "put up and shut up".

I hope Moon feels better for it. He should also know that he is not alone. Dysfunctional families are likely more common than fully-functional ones
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
User avatar
moonshadow
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 6994
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:58 am
Location: Warm Beach, Washington
Contact:

Re: parents

Post by moonshadow »

*chuckles*
So I'm picturing all of us in a room. Moon is ranting, throwing things, pacing the floor, shaking his fist, raising his blood pressure. He shouts "I ain't done nothing to deserve this!"

Dennis walks up gives Moon a hug and says "Let it out, let it out my friend but remember... it's "I haven't done anything to deserve this""

:lol:

All jokes aside, I do feel better. It helps to blow off a little steam from time to time.
-Andrea
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
User avatar
Fred in Skirts
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 3988
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:48 pm
Location: Southeast Corner of Aiken County, SC USA

Re: parents

Post by Fred in Skirts »

Moon,
We all need to blow off steam. :soapbox:
But it is how we do it that makes it work, for us to feel better. It seems you have done that. Your attitude after the blow off is what counts. :hooray: :hooray:
"It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you are not" Andre Gide: 1869 - 1951
Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind and the ones that mind don’t matter.
User avatar
Sinned
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 5804
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2012 5:28 pm
Location: York, England

Re: parents

Post by Sinned »

Moon, I hope the day comes when I can give you a big hug but the distances make that difficult. I think that we have more similarities than differences. Still I can give you a spiritual and virtual one. I understand the rant and hope that you feel better for it. I feel more or less the same way but MOH is the one that I would find it most difficult to rant against. [0}

In terms of lots of areas - grammar, science, religion, to name a few we are individually ignorant and anything we can do to educate ourselves is a bonus without being confrontational about it. I am reading a book called "The End of Men and the Rise of Women" by Hannah Rosin and it's a bit depressing for men but I think the summary is that men are the losers but women aren't necessarily the winners. The examples are based in America but I can see the parallels over here and especially in what has happened when steelworks and mines have closed. "The Full Monty" can be viewed in a different light and as an example. What's happening with men's fashion and men's inability to change and adapt to wearing garments that aren't ( according to our social rules ) normally worn by men is just symptomatic of their inability to adapt to change period. Women have embraced social change, the change in employment patterns ( i.e. the transferal of manufacturing abroad ) and the expansion of educational opportunities. So men are stuck with the trousers whilst women have availability of all fashion outlets. Now I'm not talking about individuals but men in general. When I think about it the members of this site goes in part to proving this. We tend to be better and more widely educated, at higher income levels ( I know that income has nothing to do with intelligence ) [1], have wider interests ( I have learned lots about subjects that I thought that I was well-versed in and others that I knew ignorance ) and hence we are able to see fashion for what it is and garments for what they are and make our choices according to our tastes. We don't agree on what type of garments are best or what is suitable for when. Some of what you wear goes too far in my mind but then I have come far and it's just my social conditioning that I have to overcome. So as a group we are more flexible and able to change as circumstances demand and I think that this is just due to men's inertia where change is involved.

[0] Because of the D.I.V.O.R.C.E. I have too much to lose, both emotionally and financially. I'm not sure that it would come to that but why make an otherwise good and long-lasting relationship more difficult and, why gamble?
[1] I am now on a relatively low wage but have once been on the £45000 + bonuses + share options bracket but suffered due to stress and realised that money ain't everything. It has set me up for hopefully a good retirement but the cost has been high. But at my stage in life, close to retirement, I am in a job that I enjoy, meeting people instead of concentrating on a problem on my lonesome. I miss the problem solving but not the loneliness of the pattern that computer programming and service delivery involves. Especially in a 24x7 banking environment where availability is everything.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
Post Reply