First forays out in public

[simonr]

After a few years of wearing dresses and skirts at home, I finally mustered enough courage to step out of my home in a dress a couple of weeks ago.

My first ventures outside were quick errands at night, like taking out garbage or checking the mail box. I took great pains no to be seen on these trips, but I still bumped into a couple of neighbors. None seemed to notice or care what I wore. This indifference gave me some reassurance, so I decided to take longer trips.

On my first "longer" trip, I went to the neighboring block to buy a drink at the vending machine. While crossing the road via the overhead bridge, I ran into a passer-by heading towards the opposite direction. On the narrow bridge, we practically brushed shoulders. I was petrified. To my surprise, the man went straight past me without taking notice at all (at least he didn't seem to).

This experience made me even bolder, so tonight I took it one step further and went to the ATM machine at the nearby gas station to draw some cash. On the way, I ran into a few passers-by, but I just took a deep breath and went straight past them. None seemed to notice or care.

The highlight of the night came while I was entering my PIN at the ATM machine. An elderly gentleman came out of nowhere and queued up behind me. Via the mirror on the ATM machine, I saw him taking a quick up-and-down look at me. That made me very uncomfortable. My hands were literally trembling when I took the cash from the machine. I had to take a deep breath to calm myself down, and then turned and walked away.

Now sitting comfortably at home, I feel glad that this has happened. Hopefully with a few more encounters like this, I will become accustomed to the occasional stares that are more or less inevitable.

[Martin]

Hello Simonr,

glad things went better than you expected. I am certain that future forays will give you more confidence.

Keep us posted! Regards,

Martin

[Fred in Skirts]

Hi Simonr,

Welcome to the SkirtCafe. When I first started to wear my skirts and dresses out and about I too was worried about what would happen. And nothing happened.
Today most people do not have time to worry about what you are wearing nor do they care. I now wear my skirts all of the time and have not worn pants or shorts for over a year now. I have found that I am more relaxed than I have ever been. So just put on your skirts and go forth and enjoy the feeling of freedom!

[crfriend]

That's excellent new, Simonr, and congratulations for gathering the courage to "take it outside" for the first few times as those are, by far and away, the hardest. It gets easier.

Really, the most important facets are being at ease with who you are and what you're wearing; if that shows though (and it's hard to hide) everything else gets very easy. However, only first-hand experience can sometimes get one there.

[Sinned]

Simonr, welcome, it's a hurdle that we all have to get over. My first couple of ventures were almost terrifying so I can empathise with how you were feeling. In my case I was wearing the safest of skirts - a knee-length denim skirt. Just take it easy and gradual, as if wearing a dress/skirt outside can ever be done gradually, and you will build up the confidence and the experience to realise that people don't care and the stress is all in your own mind. How do those close to you react to your different apparel?

[denimini]

Welome simonr and congratulations on the crucial first steps. It is great to get past the feeling of "Oh well, here goes".

[simonr]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement!

Like you all said, the first steps are definitely the hardest. I knew all about the theories and ideas (men should be allowed to choose what we wear) before I ventured out for the first time, but when it comes to the moment of facing the (possible) stares and disapproval, I still feel the chill down my spine. I guess there is no way around this. I'll just have to venture out more and get my confidence up.

Living in Singapore, with a sizable Muslim population, does give me the advantage of adopting one of their long tunics / caftans. Unfortunately, very few Singaporean men actually wear caftans these days, so seeing one on the street does raise some eyebrows. Nonetheless, I guess the mere existence of caftans make people somewhat more accepting of a man in a dress-like apparel

My next goal: going into a 24-hour convenience store and buying something. This should be a pretty big step, because now I'll have to deal with someone face-to-face.

[simonr]

How do those close to you react to your different apparel?

At the moment, only my girlfriend knows about my preference for skirts and dresses (I live far from my parents), and she is pretty accepting of this. She even offered to go dress shopping with me, so I wouldn't feel too awkward (though I'm already past the stage of feeling awkward in a dress shop). I'm very lucky in this aspect I guess.

Thanks to her acceptance, I have been wearing dresses and skirts at home for a couple of years, so I'm quite used to moving around in an unbifurcated garment.

[Mike]

Way to go! Soon you'll realize that nobody is going to call the news helicopters just because you're dressed the way you feel comfortable. Good luck, and keep on taking those baby steps!

[hairy]

Well done. You will get used to those up and down looks and eventually take no notice of them.

[Sinned]

You should be pleased with your progress but you'll know when you have made it when you can go shopping for a dress/skirt whilst wearing a dress/skirt, whether your girlfriend is with you or not, and not feel any embarrassment about it. I have done so whilst skirted and I must admit that my next hurdle is to wear a dress out in the wilds. I have three dresses that would come into the LBD category but may be a bit dark for summer so I am on the lookout for something in white or pastel colours. I do peruse the dress advertisements but not seen anything I like in anything like a reasonable price. You should know that all women's clothing prices are works of fiction. All dresses above the knee at the moment, of course.

[simonr]

You should be pleased with your progress but you'll know when you have made it when you can go shopping for a dress/skirt whilst wearing a dress/skirt, whether your girlfriend is with you or not, and not feel any embarrassment about it.

I'm afraid that I still have a long long way to go before I can do that. Currently I pretend to be shopping for my girlfriend at dress shops.

I do peruse the dress advertisements but not seen anything I like in anything like a reasonable price. You should know that all women's clothing prices are works of fiction. All dresses above the knee at the moment, of course.

Oh, definitely, the price for women's fashion is simply crazy.

For me, I'm mostly interested in ankle-length dresses and skirts in satin. I just love the way they move and shimmer. Most ankle-length dresses in the tropical Singapore are evening gowns, which cost an arm and are generally too girly for my taste, so I usually go for long Muslim caftans. I managed to grab a few of them at a reasonable price during the sale period following the Muslim holy month.

[simonr]

Since I took a pretty significant step last night, I decided to go with the flow and achieve the next goal tonight: going into a 24-hour convenience store and buy something.

Admittedly I almost backed out when I first approached the store. I had to circle the shop a couple of times before finally entering. However, once I was in the shop, I became surprisingly calm. I picked a snack, went over to the counter and looked the shop keeper straight in the eyes while paying for the item. I was calm enough to smile and say a "thank you" before leaving.

The shop keeper pretended not to notice my long dress. However, when I turned to leave, I saw, via the reflection in the glass door, that he gave me a good long stare. Unlike last night, the stare didn't bother me much. Guess I'm already getting used to it

[partlyscot]

How do those close to you react to your different apparel?

At the moment, only my girlfriend knows about my preference for skirts and dresses (I live far from my parents), and she is pretty accepting of this. She even offered to go dress shopping with me, so I wouldn't feel too awkward (though I'm already past the stage of feeling awkward in a dress shop). I'm very lucky in this aspect I guess.

Thanks to her acceptance, I have been wearing dresses and skirts at home for a couple of years, so I'm quite used to moving around in an unbifurcated garment.

That's a big thing, having your SO's support.

I still get times when I have to screw up my courage to take a new step, and sometimes still back out, but it's never as bad as I fear. As you are finding, it's important to be as relaxed and as friendly as you can. Fake it till you make it.

[oldsalt1]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement!

Like you all said, the first steps are definitely the hardest. I knew all about the theories and ideas (men should be allowed to choose what we wear) before I ventured out for the first time, but when it comes to the moment of facing the (possible) stares and disapproval, I still feel the chill down my spine. I guess there is no way around this. I'll just have to venture out more and get my confidence up.


My next goal: going into a 24-hour convenience store and buying something. This should be a pretty big step, because now I'll have to deal with someone face-to-face.

Don't let any body kid you it takes time and you have to go at your own pace. Plan your moves and its ok to take a dry run before you try it in a skirt. My first time for having to deal with someone face to face was a burger king . I did it at six am and believe me I tried it out in pants 3 times before I wore my skirt. .

About a year ago I was in the same place you are now. With a lot of help and encouragement from the members of the cafe I was able to make great advances. About 2 weeks age i reached what I considered the high point of my skirt wearing. I wore a kilt to a major league baseball game. Roaming around the stadium with about 20,000 other people.( If you want to see a picture of my outfit go on Take me out to the ball game. )

again welcome to the cafe join in all the conversations and post a few pictures of your outfits