A change of heart? Maybe.

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.
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mugman
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A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by mugman »

I live in a fair sized village. The main town is about two miles away and is a typically compact English country town full of typically local folk. An old lady in a house across the road, who must be in her late 80's, was born in that house and has never lived anywhere else. That's how settled in their ways many of these inhabitants are. They treat change with suspicion.

I tend to end up in town about three times a week, and at the local supermarket on the outskirts every morning for a very civilised toast and coffee to start my day.
About 80% of the time I'm kilted, depending upon the prevailing weather (and wind).

The kilt, as we know, is ultimately masculine in image. It's because I've been following the above pattern of behaviour for about ten years now, and with seemingly no other kilted person within miles (the last I spotted was about two years ago) I've more than likely become regarded as a local 'character'. That's no problem.

The real problem I'm faced with is that to wear a skirt now would be such a contrast to the cameo I've created...that being an 'elderly gent who for some reason always wears a kilt, when trousers are obviously more appropriate'. Who knows, or cares, what they think? But I would perfectly understand their logic of thought. This is, after all, not Scotland, and is almost as far away from Scotland as it could be...Lands End is just a casual morning's drive away. And 99.9999% of men here wear trousers or shorts. I don't think I've ever seen any man in a skirt. It just isn't done.

Therefore, I feel that to turn up for coffee and toast in a skirt, in this seriously macho farmhand populated county, would scupper all conclusions of me being just a harmless old bloke with a fetish for kilts. It would be interesting to see how the initial greetings at places I frequent would unfold. Would the usual 'Hi again!' from the women and men running the supermarket cafeteria become just an awkwardly embarrassed nod? I can picture it. Out the back in the kitchen they'll be quickly spreading the news around the whole store (which is massive) - "...you won't believe it Joe, the guy who's always in a kilt is now wearing a skirt! Pass it on." I would hate to lose the friendliness and respect I've slowly gained. Or maybe they don't care either, but I wouldn't find that out without testing the water by doing it.

How do you seamlessly make a complete change in people's views of you without undoing all that's gone before?

If I was to one day wear, let's say, a knee length skirt - more than likely denim as it's virtually invisible except to the really observant - it would be a one way trip. No going back. To be honest I don't think I could take that step now. Other things: I have closely cut hair and my head gets cold this time of year so I often wear a very blokish flatcap...do I still wear one with a skirt? In the winter I always wear woolly knee length socks with kilts, so do I still do that with a skirt? Incidentally, I don't wear tights, and never will. I wear chunky clodhopper shoes with a kilt. What with a skirt? I hate ankle length skirts and really prefer minis, but they're out for senior dignity reasons. It's a minefield.

I used to wear skirts out and about in the summer some years ago, when both skirts and kilts were my thing at the time. It made little difference as I hadn't yet become part of the town scene. Had I stuck with that from the outset there would of course be absolutely no cause for concern. I would then always just be the bloke who doesn't always wear trousers. Now I only wear skirts at home when I feel like it and there's no-one around to prevent me enjoying the totally impractical mini.

But at least I've retained, and established, the kilts which I've become to feel so comfortable with in virtually any situation.

It's just gone 7am now and in two hours time I shall be off to the cafe once more for coffee, toast and marmalade. A 70 year old interloper from the home counties trying to enjoy retirement.

I don't know exactly why I'm sharing this sweet and sour story with you. Possibly because there might be some who are walking a similar path. If so, then you're not alone.

Pete

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Disaffected.citizen
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by Disaffected.citizen »

Perhaps you might clarify the style of kilts you wear. Are they traditional "Scots" kilts or a mix of traditional and utility styles; plus the leather one :D

I'd say that a knee length denim skirt, if chosen carefully, would likely go unnoticed or unremarked upon. Maybe try to find a skirt or two that closely resemble the kilts everybody's become accustomed to seeing you wearing and slowly introduce a change. It's always easier to be an outsider being eccentric, rather than an established member of the community making a change.

As regards the "mini" although there's nothing wrong with any of the garments in your picture, the proportions seem "out of kilter" (a wonderful expression with the perfect pun here).
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by renesm1 »

I would start with a knee-length skirt if I was you. The mini might provoke too much comment.
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by Kirbstone »

Hi Pete,
I enjoyed your story and know your area well.

OFLU (Old fxrts like us) might get away with a kilt or knee-length non-flashy skirt, but any mini is a total no-no. Fine perhaps, like Denimini in scorching climates or on the beach.

Knee-high socks & normal shoes are never wrong.

What did you eventually wear for your stage gig?

Tom
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mugman
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by mugman »

OK, misinterpretation here I think. No chance of me going out in a mini - that's just me bumming around at home. Not a pretty sight, and only reserved for the fish in the aquarium - they're not fussy it seems and are only interested in feeding time.

The last skirt I wore outside of the premises was a knee length denim (photo h/w). That was my usual look. It was summer.

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My kilts are mainly traditional, but not the pukka multi-£ made to measure affairs. Utility kilts are not easy with me as the set for all time popper button measurements are too restrictive at my age. You need to be younger and leaner for that stuff to work I feel. They used to!

The jury is still out on the gig outfit - I have a month to sort that out, and after all is said and done it's not globally important anyway.

Pete
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by Disaffected.citizen »

Kirbstone wrote:...... but any mini is a total no-no.
Knee-high socks & normal shoes are never wrong.
I disagree, Kirbstone; there are no absolutes. Social conditioning plays a big part in perceptions.

The mini does work; not on everybody, mind. Age really doesn't come into it, and nor should gender. (N.b. these statements are made by somebody not in their 8th decade, but neither you nor Mugman look like you've entered your 7th decades, let alone your 8th). I actually think the mini on Mugman looked OK; maybe a little short. The proportions in the picture didn't quite work, though; nothing a little fettling wouldn't likely sort out.

Similarly, the knee socks and normal shoes likely would not sit well with a mini; we return to the "schoolgirl" conundrum! The key is to experiment (behind closed doors, where necessary) before presenting yourself for scrutiny from the cafe membership or the world at large.

The above said, the biggest factor in "getting away with it" is to be comfortable in yourself :D

Turning to Mugman's additional photograph, the only question I have is: "Why not?" It looks eminently presentable. I'd go as far as to say it's a denim, non-traditional, kilt; accessorised by an equally non-traditional sporran! :D
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by oldsalt1 »

Mugman maybe because I am 72 my self I don't see you as a 70 year old. in all honesty the last pic with the denim skirt looks normal What I mean is I would say 99% of the people who see you would not even realize you are wearing a skirt.

I am not familiar with kilts I have never owned a one . I would think that they would draw more attention because of the pleats and the mass of the garment.

I think the micro that a little too short for a mini looks good and has got to be comfortable
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mugman
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by mugman »

I'm actually 70 in 38 days time. I hope not to age accordingly in the meantime (particularly in a mental way).

Is it a micro? I don't know. It was on ebay and going cheap. It is comfortable as all minis usually are, because there's no hindrance of material to them. I can't agree much though on public use - obviously not of that length anyway :shock: To me, minis are really ignoring the line that not everyone wants to cross. If you do then I take my hat off. Obviously far more guts than I have. Whereabouts above the knee, in any case, does a mini start? Even a couple of inches above my knee would feel like exposure, but then I'm used to kilt measurements.

Pete
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by crfriend »

mugman wrote:Whereabouts above the knee, in any case, does a mini start?
If memory serves, the "old school" separator between a miniskirt and a plain short skirt is whether your fingers can touch bare leg with the arms relaxed. It's a fairly fine line, and it varies by individual.

In any event, some have the proportions to pull miniskirts off with aplomb and some don't -- and it's mostly down to what each of us is comfortable with. It's also not an age thing, although many try to make it out to be; I've seen 20-somethings who look dreadful in them and I've seen 70-somethings who rock the universe in them.
Even a couple of inches above my knee would feel like exposure, but then I'm used to kilt measurements.
Short does take some getting used to.

That sounds like quite a nice part of the world you reside in, save for that tragic number of folks who solely wear trousers.
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by renesm1 »

The second picture looks fantastic. I can't see any problem with you going about your business dressed like that!

Well done
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by pelmut »

I live in the West Country and will send you my contact details in a p.m. If it turns out that I live reasonably near you, I don't mind going into your local supermarket in a knee-length denim skirt (or possibly ankle-length while the weather is cold). That way, you won't be the first man-in-a-skirt they have ever seen.
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by denimini »

I know the small town road. I think you will be doing it in a less dramatic way by having been seen in a kilt first. The second pic has a similar length to a kilt and denim is unremarkable in a positive way.
In a small town there is always gossip but the positive is it becomes old news fast and people adapt and accept quickly. In my little town, where there are no strangers, except for tourists, no-one looks twice at me now in a mini, similar to your first pic. I think you could wear that mini in public, in warm weather, as it looks like denim shorts and if people do notice it is just a second glance to confirm it is a skirt, not to wonder what is wrong with you.
crfriend wrote: In any event, some have the proportions to pull miniskirts off with aplomb and some don't -- and it's mostly down to what each of us is comfortable with. It's also not an age thing, although many try to make it out to be; I've seen 20-somethings who look dreadful in them and I've seen 70-somethings who rock the universe in them.
Which sums it up well.
Just let a few close friends know what and why, so others will have someone to ask as most will be reluctant to broach the subject with you. I never mention it unless someone does first. My friend and neighbour told me that a lot of people asked her why I wore a skirt and she just said that is was that I discovered how cool and comforatble they were, some she told the funny story of how I first tried one.
crfriend wrote:Short does take some getting used to.
But "Oh what a feeling" as the Toyota ad goes.
Looking at your pics; the outfits look so credible as menswear that I doubt that it would upset anyone you know.
Anthony, a denim miniskirt wearer in Outback Australia
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by Sinned »

Hi Pete, you've fallen into the trap of anticipating or assuming what others will think based on your perceptions. As you admitted you won't really know until you have tested the waters. Virtually every one of us has had to take a deep breath, step out to find that the reaction of the great unwashed is, frankly, zero. My immediate neighbourhood is like a large village - we have lived in our house since December 1982 and our grandchildren are now going to the same school that our children went to. MOH is probably better known as she has been the children's mother and she works in two places where she meets a lot of the local folk. But we are both part of the social scene and all that I have spoken to just don't care that I wear a skirt. The only one that does is MOH. Please don't assume that you know what they will think or whether they will care - you don't. I agree with the others that a knee-length denim is the best to test the waters with. A mini CAN be worn by us older gents. I'm 62 going on 50 and wear short skirts out regularly with appropriate top, tights in winter and footwear and do so with confidence. It all comes down to just, figuratively speaking, taking your b_lls in hand and doing it.

BTW both skirts look fine with the knee-length one probably the better option for the first time. Just have one or two short replies should you be asked why.
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by oldsalt1 »

I think a 70 something can pull off a short mini skirt. I usually wear short skirts. This is the shortest I have . I need warmer weather a place to go and just a little more nerve for this one.
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mugman
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Re: A change of heart? Maybe.

Post by mugman »

As suggested to Pelmut in a PM earlier, my skirting days are I think done now.

I have used kilts exclusively since 2014, which was the last skirted year. It was an option I was happy to experiment with for a while, but now don't have enthusiasm to continue with. I'm not alone in choosing one mode over another and guess there are plenty out there who now only wear skirts...or kilts. We have always had a choice, which is the main thing. I have an interest in slightly modifying the kilt image to my own personal flamboyance, which is creative enough for one lifetime.

If I do return to a skirt in the future you'll be the first to know. Well, no, you won't of course. It'll be someone or other on my travels. You know what I mean. Anyway, thanks for all your responses.

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Pete
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