A question about ugly & bad skirts

[JamesKelsey]

I'm new here and have a sensitive question.

I'm a huge supporter of gays, trans, crossdressers, and even just manly-men in skirts... BUT... (There's always a 'but', eh?) But I've seen some HORRENDOUS images. . . Pure fashion crimes... skirts 2 sizes too small, age-inappropriateness, and just plain old ugly skirts that shouldn't have ever been made.

Yet all the comments are glowing and wonderful and encouraging.

Is there an unspoken rule here that saying something like, "My god! That looks terrible on you!" is forbidden? I want to be VERY supportive of everyone, but sometimes wouldn't the most supportive thing to say be, "Never ever wear that again."?

Thanks,
James

[crfriend]

I'm new here and have a sensitive question.

It's never too early for such a question.

I'm a huge supporter of gays, trans, crossdressers, and even just manly-men in skirts... BUT... (There's always a 'but', eh?) But I've seen some HORRENDOUS images. . . Pure fashion crimes... skirts 2 sizes too small, age-inappropriateness, and just plain old ugly skirts that shouldn't have ever been made.

This can turn into a quagmire faster than you can say "Afghanistan". In play in all of the above can be a witches-brew of factors that we may not be aware of. Sure enough, there are the obvious ones about size and a garment that doesn't fit -- and that's one of the reasons I personally tend to advocate photography as a neutral medium as that's less likely to lie to one than a mirror is. Then there are the ones that are entirely subjective (e.g. "age-appropriate") and which of necessity pass through one's own life-experience's lens.

For instance on "plain old ugly skirts", if somebody bothered to get me going on the matter, and if I'd play along, I'd lump the entire category of "denim" into the "plain old ugly" bucket. I do not and cannot fathom why such an insidiously hideous, dull, and drab fabric has gotten the amount of societal fascination that it has.

The matter of "age-appropriateness" is a bit of a poser as well. I've seen women in their 70s who can rock a mini brilliantly, and I likewise have seen lithe young things who couldn't carry one in a bag gracefully. Certain lengths can look dowdy on certain body-types unless some extra work gets done to offset it, but that's more down to putting an entire working ensemble together than merely swapping trousers for a skirt. Both of these facets are exacerbated by the general lack of understanding on guys' parts about what makes a rig look good and how to work gracefully with what one has; this is entirely understandable as guys have been expected to be in trousers and shirts (read, jeans and t-shirts in the modern world) for decades so the techniques aren't taught to them (the techniques don't seem to be being taught to daughters any longer, either, which is likely why things are in the sorry shape they're in today fashion-wise).

Pick your battles.

Yet all the comments are glowing and wonderful and encouraging.

... or there are few comments at all. I suspect a lot of self-selection and self-censorship goes on, likely with the intent of politeness and a desire to not wound somebody else's ego who's really trying to buck the status-quo.

Is there an unspoken rule here that saying something like, "My god! That looks terrible on you!" is forbidden? I want to be VERY supportive of everyone, but sometimes wouldn't the most supportive thing to say be, "Never ever wear that again."?

Subject to above, there is no "rule" either written or unwritten about such commentary; the only explicit rule is that if you're going to really criticise somebody for a rig do so respectfully and in the tenor of constructive criticism (e.g. "Here's what I don't think works, and here's why ...). I've come in for a certain amount of stick in the past for looking "theatrical", which is understandable given my style choice; however, the way in which it was delivered made polite conversation on the matter possible and I hope some things were learnt from it.

So, if you're going to "let drive" be prepared to defend your thesis. Don't go after an individual, go after the idea. Debate usually only improves things so long as it can shed light and not just smoke and heat.

[Caultron]

I'm new here and have a sensitive question.

I'm a huge supporter of gays, trans, crossdressers, and even just manly-men in skirts... BUT... (There's always a 'but', eh?) But I've seen some HORRENDOUS images. . . Pure fashion crimes... skirts 2 sizes too small, age-inappropriateness, and just plain old ugly skirts that shouldn't have ever been made.

Yet all the comments are glowing and wonderful and encouraging.

Is there an unspoken rule here that saying something like, "My god! That looks terrible on you!" is forbidden? I want to be VERY supportive of everyone, but sometimes wouldn't the most supportive thing to say be, "Never ever wear that again."?

The general feeling is usually that male skirt-wearers deal with enough negativity as it is, and that we need to encourage the practice rather than discourage it. So if I don't like something I just keep quiet about it.

Plus, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And there's no accounting for taste.

[pelmut]

... sometimes wouldn't the most supportive thing to say be, "Never ever wear that again."?

My first attempt at making a kilt was a bit of a disaster, the material was far too flimsy and it wouldn't fall properly. I knew something was wrong, but in my ignorance I hadn't worked out what it was. When I put it on for a friend's wife to see, so that she could tell me what the problem was , she blurted out "It looks like a tartan tu-tu, for heaven's sake don't ever wear that again!".

After some time, she was able to gather her wits enough to explain that the problem was caused by choosing the wrong material to start with. It didn't put me off wearing skirts, but it taught me a very good lesson in making sure everything was appropriate, including the fabric, before wearing a skirt in front of anyone else.

Perhaps if something similar had been said to me in an online forum that I had just tentatively joined, the effect might have been a lot more negative.

[oldsalt1]

There is no difference between wearing a skirt and wearing pants or shorts. The colors and patterns should match, blend or compliment. When I wore only pants If I wore a colorful shirt or sweaters I wore plain pants or shorts. If I wore colorful pants I wore a solid colored shirt . Now that I am wearing skirts I do the same. The outfits are the same color or at least compliment each other. I have a couple of Hawaiian shirts flowers etc very colorful. But I will only wear them with a solid black or white skirt.

A lot of members post pictures. as soon as I can get doing it correct I will be posting pictures of some of my outfits. Its hard enough doing what we do If I like them I comment if I don't I just pass.

[Caultron]

I hope this guy isn't on the board, but when it comes to "My god! That looks terrible on you; never ever wear that again," this might be it:

4928214_lookbook_rainbow2.jpg

4914551_lookbook2.jpg

and he claims to be a fashion designer from Tokyo, Italy, and he apparently dresses this way all the time.

http://lookbook.nu/user/3448079-Victor-F

But apparently he has fun with it so why not?

[crfriend]

I hope this guy isn't on the board, but when it comes to "My god! That looks terrible on you; never ever wear that again," this might be it: [...]

There's a bunch of stuff going on in those shots beyond a "bloke in a skirt". Cosplay comes to mind first and foremost, and there's apparently quite the contingent out there for whom that's important. It's not my cup of tea, but if it floats their boat then I'm at peace with it.

Also, one needs to watch it a little bit with "designers" as they can be "out there" a bit. Recall that much of what makes their nut isn't the everyday practical stuff that we need to get through the world around us but rather the "over the top" bits that get attention on the catwalk and then never see the light of day again (sometimes mercifully).

One should bear in mind the personality and character of the individual involved, for if we don't tailor our looks to mesh with our personalities somewhat we're doing no better than the bloke in Dockers and a t-shirt. That's a personality-disposal system as thorough as the most opaque burqa going or the all-too-ubiquitous hoodie-and-jeans "look".

[hoborob]

I'll agree with crfriend, if this fellow is doing cosplay then his look is OK, if that is his normal dress then I would have to say that the skirts are OK in my opinion its the hair style that makes them look silly to me.

[r.m.anderson]

Since this is the SkirtCafe; a skirt forum, my attention was immediately directed to the PINK PLAID skirt
in the second pix and the GREEN PLEATED one in the first.
The last thing I looked at was the hair after all we all have some hair to a greater or lesser extent.

Summation that was one cute skirted (adult) kid !

[Caultron]

Did you click the lookbook link? He's got way too many bizarre looks for just cosplay.

Unless he's designing cosplay costumes for other people.

But I still think he looks like a play-doll for a 3-year old.

But again, if he's having fun with it, why not?

JamesKelsey, are you getting the vibe of this?

[JeffB1959]

I hope this guy isn't on the board, but when it comes to "My god! That looks terrible on you; never ever wear that again," this might be it:

4928214_lookbook_rainbow2.jpg

4914551_lookbook2.jpg

and he claims to be a fashion designer from Tokyo, Italy, and he apparently dresses this way all the time.

http://lookbook.nu/user/3448079-Victor-F

But apparently he has fun with it so why not?

If this fellow is indeed in Tokyo, then I suspect he'd fit in quite nicely and might even be seen as being "kawaii" (Japanese slang for "cute"). More power to him for being both and comfortable in his own skin to dress so extravagantly.

[Couya]

While I am, of course, in complete agreement with Carl's carefully worded message in answer to JamesKelsey, I am very pleased that someone has at last had the courage to give his opinions, as James did.

I suppose I ought to post more often photos of my own daily wear, and take the risk of exposing myself to criticism.
But (1) it's a bother getting pics down to size;
and (2) I know in advance, many of you would find me quite unbearably dowdy and unadventurous.

Welcome to the forum, James.

Martin

[Gregg1100]

The person in the pic has a foot tracking problem- toeing in. Will have to watch out for abnormal wear on outside of shoe, lol.
I like the rainbow skirt--I have one similar, but a bit longer and in black.

[crfriend]

The person in the pic has a foot tracking problem- toeing in. Will have to watch out for abnormal wear on outside of shoe, lol.

That or serious understeer at speed.

Actually, I think that pose is part of the "trying to look 'cute' shtick. It may not look naff in context, but out of context certainly does look silly.

[Caultron]

If this fellow is indeed in Tokyo, then I suspect he'd fit in quite nicely and might even be seen as being "kawaii" (Japanese slang for "cute"). More power to him for being both and comfortable in his own skin to dress so extravagantly.

Yeah, but he says Tokyo, Italy, and I suspect there's no such actual place. Unless he means Tokyo and Italy. But that elevated train crossing doesn't look like either. There's some signage in the photos but not enough to suggest a language (at least for me).

Definitely, though, kudos for confidence.