Difficulties with partners
Re: Difficulties with partners
I get frustrated, but not angry. Anger is destructive. I just try and go my own way as best as I can. Sometimes I have gone out in a skirt and she has not known. I don't tell her but if she asks I don't lie to her. On occasion she has asked and I have been truthful, that there was no problem, nobody said anything and acceptance was there from the public. What she thought at the time I don't know and I didn't ask. So far there has not been any blowback but she does say to put shorts on when she is around and I have to go out. If she ain't around then it's open season.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
- Pdxfashionpioneer
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Re: Difficulties with partners
Hello Jenn03,
I just read your piece and I LOVE IT!!
It's well-written and I feel, accurate.
Thank you so much for saying all that and in such terms that no one can mistake your meaning.
Well done.
I just read your piece and I LOVE IT!!
It's well-written and I feel, accurate.
Thank you so much for saying all that and in such terms that no one can mistake your meaning.
Well done.
David, the PDX Fashion Pioneer
Social norms aren't changed by Congress or Parliament; they're changed by a sufficient number of people ignoring the existing ones and publicly practicing new ones.
Social norms aren't changed by Congress or Parliament; they're changed by a sufficient number of people ignoring the existing ones and publicly practicing new ones.
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Re: Difficulties with partners
You're welcome and thanks for the complimentPdxfashionpioneer wrote: ↑Sun Aug 29, 2021 8:05 am Hello Jenn03,
I just read your piece and I LOVE IT!!
It's well-written and I feel, accurate.
Thank you so much for saying all that and in such terms that no one can mistake your meaning.
Well done.
"When life gets blurry adjust your focus."
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Re: Difficulties with partners
My other half is aware that I enjoy wearing skirts/dresses and is acceptable but just not in front of him which is a bit of a shame but it means I'm not having to fully hide it
When life gives you lemons, slice them and put them into your G&T!
Re: Difficulties with partners
I am lucky in that my wife accepts my wearing skirts and dresses. She still doesn't understand why and occasionally has to be reassured that it's not a reflection on her (far from it, in fact). Over the past four years I have evolved from wearing skirts and dresses only when the two of us were alone in the house to full time, answering the door etc and now to going out in public. She's so used to seeing me in a skirt that she didn't immediately notice that I'd been to the shops in one. This led to a discussion and my declaration that I've done with trousers, which are the most uncomfortable garment ever worn by a man. She is concerned about our going out together in public, because it will make her self-conscious, which I can understand but once she's done it there will be no problem.
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Re: Difficulties with partners
Taken from "Gender Inclusive Skirt"
I thought to bring this over here to be more appropriate and let me assure you there was no intention to suggest that you should force a confrontation with your Mrs.
Frankly, you are the only one who is in any position to decide how you proceed just as I am in mine.
Between us though, I don't think we can stress enough just how fortunate the guys with supportive partners really are.
One particular irony is that my eventual separation and probable divorce will not have arisen from confrontation.
The real catalyst has been her total apathy over the past few years and i say that with the utmost sense of disappointment and failure.
Entirely platonic though it is, and shall so remain, the very atmosphere of my outing on Sunday was the utmost of refreshing tonics that I have experienced in a very long time.
Simply to be in the company of one who is enthusiastic and interested was a complete joy and there was a good measure of simple laughter. Much hilarity when a little boy exclaimed "Santa" right at me was a memory to cherish.
While she is unaware of this situation now, I severely doubt that it would change anything if my wife was to learn the sad facts.
Finally, if anyone wishes to feel judgemental about this little tale, just remember that we cannot walk in each other's shoes.
Steve.
Hi Dennis
I thought to bring this over here to be more appropriate and let me assure you there was no intention to suggest that you should force a confrontation with your Mrs.
Frankly, you are the only one who is in any position to decide how you proceed just as I am in mine.
Between us though, I don't think we can stress enough just how fortunate the guys with supportive partners really are.
One particular irony is that my eventual separation and probable divorce will not have arisen from confrontation.
The real catalyst has been her total apathy over the past few years and i say that with the utmost sense of disappointment and failure.
Entirely platonic though it is, and shall so remain, the very atmosphere of my outing on Sunday was the utmost of refreshing tonics that I have experienced in a very long time.
Simply to be in the company of one who is enthusiastic and interested was a complete joy and there was a good measure of simple laughter. Much hilarity when a little boy exclaimed "Santa" right at me was a memory to cherish.
While she is unaware of this situation now, I severely doubt that it would change anything if my wife was to learn the sad facts.
Finally, if anyone wishes to feel judgemental about this little tale, just remember that we cannot walk in each other's shoes.
Steve.
Re: Difficulties with partners
Steve, I find it almost ironic that I can garner more acceptance and support from such as colleagues at work than from my own wife who should be there for me. There are areas where she shows apathy and these I find difficult. Still no relationship is perfect.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
Re: Difficulties with partners
For those of you who subscribe to the "I'll never understand women" club let me submit the following. My wife is periodically given clothes in the sizes 8 - 10 range from a friend of hers for the benefit of our grand-daughters. Among the clothes was a tartan kilt ( with apron ) of which my wife liked the pattern. As it was too small for me she diligently turned it in a matter of minutes into a pull up skirt. It is knee length, very snug but wearable and it will encourage me to lose the few inches to make it truly wearable. But why, given her apparent opposition/tolerance of my skirts, would she want to do this of her own suggestion and with no suggestion from me? I had not even seen the skirt before she mentioned it. I am confused.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
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Re: Difficulties with partners
Welcome to the land of confusion. You are not alone here.
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Re: Difficulties with partners
I'd hazard a guess that it's because it started as a kilt. For some strange reason women seem to tolerate kilts rather than off the peg "women's" skirts. My mother is the same way. While she finally grudgingly accepted the fact her son wears clothes intended for women, she often still encourages me to make the permanent switch over to kilts.
I continue to insist that I'm not a "kilt guy". Nothing against those who are, but they're just not my thing.
-Andrea
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
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Re: Difficulties with partners
Dennis, why fret -- just rejoice at some little note of acceptance -- or whatever it is, it strikes me as positive and a place to show appreciation, even if it is just credit for a 'neat idea and her skills in making it work' so readily. BE notSinned wrote: ↑Sat Jan 15, 2022 5:49 pm
But why, given her apparent opposition/tolerance of my skirts, would she want to do this of her own suggestion and with no suggestion from me? I had not even seen the skirt before she mentioned it. I am confused.
Re: Difficulties with partners
That's certainly so, but in my experience a woman can also instinctively detect features of a design which make it look feminine.moonshadow wrote: ↑Sun Jan 16, 2022 12:36 am I'd hazard a guess that it's because it started as a kilt. For some strange reason women seem to tolerate kilts rather than off the peg "women's" skirts.
I've just received a bargain walking skirt which I ordered online in the January sales, having first been given the nod by my wife. So imagine my surprise on receiving the skirt and finding that it is actually labelled unisex. This wasn't mentioned on the seller's website, and indeed the item was listed only in the women's section. I wonder whether other lines from this maker are marked similarly.
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Re: Difficulties with partners
Well, I suppose I can understand that. Even women's pants tend to be of a more feminine cut, whereas men's pants are generally more loose fitting, rugged, and may have larger pockets, and more of them.
A woman wearing masculine "men's pants" can easily be spotted in a crowd, and much like us men who wear feminine garments, most people assume the masculine pants wearing woman is a lesbian.
It doesn't make it true of course (same as it is with us), but it seems to be society's perception anyway.
-Andrea
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
Re: Difficulties with partners
This is how my wife is, she "allows" the kilts so I wear them every day, and she's getting used to it as a normal thing (for me) now. Same for the Macabi's since they are unisex. RipSkirts are ok since I just wear them around the pool/yard in hot weather. I'm taking things slow, despite the sort of rush of things that I want to try now that I've become aware of possibilities other than shorts and pants!moonshadow wrote: ↑Sun Jan 16, 2022 12:36 am I'd hazard a guess that it's because it started as a kilt. For some strange reason women seem to tolerate kilts rather than off the peg "women's" skirts. My mother is the same way.
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Re: Difficulties with partners
There is a lot in this statement that could just as easily have originated from my wife in the past.Greenboots wrote, Returning home, I think it took a while for my wife to register what I was wearing. Later, she asked me to post a letter, then looked down at my lower half with a pained look and said, “unless you have something to do and would prefer that I go.” I let her go and got on with some other jobs.
Ironically, it is sad that while it is still what she thinks, today it is simply ignored.
One thing, I really don't think that "unisex" would have made the slightest difference either.
Does anyone actually believe that Joe Doubter Public knows or actually cares about that distinction?
Sorry but that is stretching optimism way too far.
Steve.